We are broken
by xIt's Time to Burnx
Summary: Alice knows her life is far from perfect. Jasper's life has just been turned upside down. As they both struggle to make the best out of a bad situation will they find what they need in each other? All human
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight that privilege belongs to Stephanie Meyer I'm just having fun messing with her characters.**

**This is my first attempt at a chaptered fic and it is very much a work in progress so all comments are welcome. **

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**We Are Broken**

**Chapter 1: Facing reality**

Alice's pov

The ringing of my alarm combined with the message tone of my phone creating the usual Monday morning fanfare that rudely ripped me from my peaceful dreams to the harsh reality that another week had begun.

I pushed one arm out of the comforting cocoon of my duvet to switch off my alarm without bothering to open my eyes.

Just before sleep returned to me my phone went off again.

Grumbling loudly I rolled over to grab it off my bedside table and stared blearily at the screen for a few seconds before it came into focus.

As expected both messages were from my older brother Emmett. Only he and his girlfriend Rosalie had my number.

The first read

_Morning sunshine, time to get up and seize the day. X_

I smiled, it was so typically Emmett.

The second was a little less jovial

_Get your lazy ass up NOW Alice. I've already been awake for three hours!_

Grumbling I quickly sent him one back telling him I was up and I hated him.

I didn't mean that of course I loved Emmett more than anything, he was the one person that kept me going when everything turned to shit.

The thought it would be five days until I saw him again caused my Monday blues to darken a little more.

I took a long hot shower helping wake me up and pull me from my maudlin thoughts.

Heading back into my room I pulled out my traditional jeans and plain green sweater, I'd learnt long ago not to wear anything that made me stand out at school.

Keep it plain and simple.

After dressing I blow dried my short hair and ran some products through it. I never bothered with make-up there was no point.

I skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen to make myself breakfast and switched on the radio to chase out the ominous silence that always seemed more prominent on a Monday with the absence of Emmett.

I grinned as I found his traditional note of farewell pinned to the fridge.

_My dearest sister Alice,_

It read

_Oh how fast the days have gone as I find myself once more contemplating the lonely……_

_Ok enough of that shit its 5am!!!!_

_Why do I do this to myself every week? I should listen to you and just head back to Seattle Sunday night. But I just hate leaving you alone._

_Then again you never bother getting up to say goodbye!_

_I feel so unloved :_-(

_Have a good week baby sister. I'll call you tonight like always and feel free to _

_call me anytime if you wanna chat._

_God knows I'll relish the opportunity to skip a lecture._

_See you Friday._

_All my brotherly love._

_(The other type is reserved for Rose!)_

_Emmett_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I giggled as I read it through twice. Even when he wasn't here he could make me smile.

I rolled my eyes when he said he should go back to Seattle on Sunday night. I told him that every week but he always refused.

Then again it had only been a few months since I'd managed to convince him to spend the week there rather than commuting every day.

The familiar guilt rose in me as I thought about how much Emmett had sacrificed for me.

Two years ago he'd been loving his life studying in NYC until the fateful day a drunk driver killed our parents.

Emmett had insisted he would be my legal guardian insisting he didn't want me sent off to strangers.

Unfortunately that meant he'd had to move back to Forks because he didn't want my life uprooted any more than it had been.

A few months of nagging from me had him checking out local courses and home studying options but none had appealed to him, finally with the help of his tutor from New York he had transferred his studies to Seattle.

His circumstances had been taken into account in his first year allowing him to commute in so I wouldn't be left alone and we had settled into a comfortable, if not ideal, routine.

Now I was older Emmett spent most of the week in Seattle, this allowed him to get a part time job as well, and whilst are parents had not left us penniless it was a good way for him to regain some control over his life.

I missed him terribly but I'd never admit that to him, Emmett had given up a lot for me, it wasn't fair to make him feel guilty when he did something for himself, besides he'd be back by Friday.

I grabbed some orange juice from the fridge and put bread in the toaster, I couldn't be bothered making anything more than toast that morning.

Whilst I ate it I gathered up all my books for school and packed them into my bag smiling up at the family photos me and Em had placed around the room to try and create the illusion our parents were still here somehow.

Checking the clock I realised I'd been dawdling this morning, with a heavy sigh I picked up my schoolbag and pulled on my raincoat, I danced over to my car splashing through the puddles with a giggle.

I loved the rain, which was lucky considering that's all it seemed to do in the pacific North West.

I got into my yellow VW bug. It was old and rattled but thanks to Rosalie's knowledge of mechanics it would never let me down and even if it did I'd point blank refuse to get rid of it.

According to Em my dad had discovered it before my fourteenth birthday, knowing it was perfect for me he'd brought it and kept it in storage ready for me when I passed my test, even though he hadn't been around to witness that the car had.

I had cried for nearly the entirety of my sixteenth birthday after Emmett told me the story and I loved my car, it was my sanctuary after a tough eight hours at school it was always there for me waiting in the parking lot welcoming me into it's familiar comfort and taking me away from the hell that was high school.

My foot became lighter on the gas the closer I got to Forks high, it's not that I hated school, I actually enjoyed my classes unfortunately that was part of the problem.

The other was I was just different, or at least I had been in junior high, during years of bullying I had learned how to disappear, blend into the background avoid standing out and now I knew my place in the social hierarchy of high school things weren't so bad.

Pulling my car into it's usual spot I quickly headed to my home room successfully being avoided in the corridors, apparently a new student was starting today and that gossip kept everyone's attention off me.

Taking my seat I pulled out my trigonometry homework to check over passing the time.

A new student meant nothing to me, if they were interesting, or attractive enough, then Mike Newton would assimilate them into his little click. If not, well they'd never be a bigger freak than me!

The bell rang and the rest of my class filed in, I quickly packed my work away before any damage could befall it courtesy of Lauren Mallory.

I tensed as she passed but she ignored me as she filled Tyler in on her first glimpse of the new boy.

I sighed in relief, maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

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Jasper's pov

Rain!

That seemed to be the one word that could sum up my new home of Forks Washington.

We had been here a grand total of three days and all it had done was rain. It had gotten to the point where I was wondering if the locals had actually evolved with webbed feet.

I was soaked through as I got back from my early morning run, a tradition I was stubbornly sticking to despite the inclement weather.

I missed the heat of Texas, I missed the sun.

Of course I'd never complain to my mum, there was a good reason we had upped sticks to travel almost the entire length of the continental USA to settle in this dead end, damp town and that reason was Cindy.

My dads mid life crisis had hit on his 50th birthday, it had started the traditional way. A new gym membership, a flashy new sports car, hair die and had quickly turned into a full blown affair with a 19 year old intern at his office.

Not that I could really blame him, Cindy was gorgeous in the 'obviously has nothing but looks to offer' kind of way and I myself had had my fair share of play with her.

A small juicy nugget of information I was holding onto, maybe I'd tell my dad at Christmas, or his birthday or maybe the over extravagant wedding that was being planned and the main reason I found myself 1,693 Miles away from everything familiar.

The second my mum had discovered Cindy was sporting a $4,000 diamond ring on a rather significant finger she had requested a transfer, unfortunately for me Forks hospital was the furthest away.

Mum had insisted it was because she couldn't stay and watch him make a fool of himself but the truth was she was running away from the pain.

My mum was still young at barely 40 and she had kept herself in shape. She had only been 20, training to be a nurse, when she met my dad and according to mum it had been love at first sight and that was the main problem, she still loved him.

When we were still in Texas she had been hoping for a reunion but with dad getting engaged it had destroyed that last spark of hope.

The only option left was to run. Start afresh far away.

I thought through the entire fucked up situation as the hot water of the shower pounded down on me, chasing away the chill the rain and sweat had caused.

Today was Monday, my first day of school here. I wasn't overly worried, this was a small town and I was something new.

I made friends easily enough, my dad had always said I was charismatic.

After my shower I pulled on jeans and a black shirt then pulled on a sweater as well, it was raining and I still wasn't used to the drop in temperature compared to Texas.

Mum had headed into work early this morning so I grabbed an apple for breakfast and drank milk straight from the carton.

On my way to the door I paused to glare at my reflection in the hall mirror.

Slightly curly honey blonde hair hung just into my dark blue eyes which narrowed as they took in the chiselled jaw and straight nose.

I had always been pretty pleased with the way I looked, and I had enough experience to know the ladies did too, but I just looked too much like my father to be happy with what I saw staring back at me.

I ran a hand through my tousled hair toying with the idea of hair dye before I shook my head and turned to grab my bag and keys.

I wasn't my father!

With that thought firmly stamped in my head I headed back into the rain and towards my car, a brand new silver Volvo. A present from dad, apparently this was meant to make up for everything.

I wasn't too proud to accept it, although if I could have afforded my own car I would have driven it into a wall the second he handed me the keys.

I was building up to me revenge however, and the more accepting I was of my dad now the more force it would have.

On arrival at the wonderful Forks high I headed into the office to pick up my schedule, map of the school and various other pieces of paper that were somehow meant to help me during my first day.

"Any questions?" the lady behind the desk asked.

I tried not to roll my eyes.

"No I think I got everything thanks."

I have been going to school for the past 13 years how difficult can it be? I added in my head.

By the time I got out the rest of the school population seemed to have arrived.

I could feel several pairs of eyes on me as I walked and noticed a blonde giving me a not so subtle once over, from the sultry smile she gave me as our eyes met I'm guessing she liked what she saw.

I sent back my self assured lopsided smirk that was always a good place to start on my quest into a girls pants.

Maybe this school wouldn't be so bad after all.

Thankfully I was pretty much up to speed with all of my classes.

First period English I sat next to a guy with bronze coloured hair messed into a style that looked like he'd taken just a little bit too much time trying to make it look like he hadn't bothered.

"Edward Mason." he introduced as I slid into the chair next to him.

"Jasper Whitlock." I replied.

The teacher called the class to order before we could exchange any more pleasantries.

"So how are you enjoying Forks?" Edward asked quietly as we were set work.

I shrugged "It's wet!" no point lying.

Edward chuckled "Yeah, you get used to that. It's probably the only place you can get vitamin D supplement at the local grocery store."

I smiled, the guy had a sense of humour "Other than the weather it's not so bad." I added, may as well try to be nice by not pissing on his home town completely.

"So what other classes do you have?"

I passed him my schedule, it was easier than trying to tell him.

His eyes flickered over it and he let out a soft whistle "You're taking advanced calculus?!"

I shrugged again modestly, what can I say maths makes sense to me.

The rest of English passed quickly, Edward helpfully gave me little tips for handling each teacher I would have.

As I entered American History I smiled as I noticed blondie was in this class, nice time to lay down some ground work.

I was directed to a seat behind hers and she leant back in her seat closer to my desk.

"Lauren Mallory." she whispered as the teacher stared the lesson.

"Jas…" I began but she cut me off.

"Oh I know who you are." she smirked and then moved shifting back towards her desk and ignored me for the rest of the lesson.

Well that was a turn off!

I hated people who played games.

She was hot though, I thought as I followed her ass down the corridor to Biology.

The only free seat in the classroom was next to a tiny dark haired girl who didn't seem to register me sitting down next to her.

"Hi, I'm Jasper." I said trying to be polite.

I bit back my laughter as she blinked in surprise and looked around comically to see who I was talking to.

She looked back at me questioningly and I raised an eyebrow expectantly.

_Yeah darlin' I'm talking to you._

"Alice." she said slowly, her eyes flickered past me before dropping to the desk and she spent the rest of the lesson ignoring me.

_Going well so far Jay!_

Lauren accosted me the second the bell rang for lunch.

"Sit with me." she said her long nails dug into my arm slightly as she dragged me to the cafeteria and towards a table at one side. Four people were already seated there, one I recognised as Edward from my English class.

"This is Mike, Jessica, Edward and Bella." Lauren introduced as she forced me into a seat and plopped down next to me.

I nodded politely wondering when I'd get the chance to actually get some lunch. The others had trays in front of them but Lauren seemed happy starving herself.

"Hey, I'm Jasper." I said politely well aware I was being viewed like a piece of meat by Mike and Jessica. They were clearly the ring leaders of this little group.

They seemed to accept me though and went back to whatever conversation they'd been having before me and Lauren arrived.

"Right, well I'm gonna get some lunch." I said slowly.

Edward gave me an encouraging smile and rolled his eyes at Lauren.

Another guy, Tyler, had joined by the time I got back and the conversation had turned to what was planned for the weekend.

"Well my parents are out of town, again." Jessica smirked "So party on Saturday night."

"You up for that Jay?" Lauren asked me eagerly.

I smiled in my, self confident ass hole way "I think I have a window in my schedule."

Edward chuckled and even Mike raised one side of his mouth in a half smile.

I got distracted as the girl from Biology came, quite literally, dancing into the cafeteria.

"Oh god it's here." Jessica wrinkled her nose like there was a bad smell as her eyes fell on the girl.

"Alice McCarty." Mike said seeing my confusion "The local freak."

The whole table laughed and I got a slight uneasy feeling in my stomach. I noticed Bella's eyes drop to the table

"He has to sit by her in Biology." Lauren told them and I got sympathetic looks like they'd just been told I was suffering from some incurable disease or something.

"So what's with the dancing?" I asked curiously as I watched her dance back out.

Jessica rolled her eyes flipping her curly hair back "Like Mike said she's a freak."

Guess that's the only explanation I would be getting.

I arrived home that night the same time as my mum.

She glared at my car as though it had wronged her somehow.

"Mum if he wants to spend money in an attempt to get me to like him again I ain't complaining." I said.

This was an old argument.

She felt by accepting his gestures like this it meant I had forgiven him.

"How was school?" she asked surprising me by actually avoiding a fight.

I shrugged "Ok. I'm pretty much up to speed with all my classes so that's good. How was work?"

I frowned as her cheeks took on a pink tinge.

What the fuck was that about?

"Fine. You fancy pasta for dinner?" she asked making a hasty retreat into her bedroom.

"Yeah pasta's fine." I said slowly wondering what was going on. "I'm gonna get started on some homework." I said deciding to just leave it for now, who knew what the hell went on inside that woman's head.

Sighing I pulled the curtains across the window as I entered my room blocking the grey sky from view.

Fucking rain!

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**Please review xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**** I never have and never will own Twilight.**

**I have recieved some good news today and decided to celebrate by uploading a new chapter. hope you like.**

**Chapter 2: Attraction **

Jasper's pov.

I had to admit as time passed and I developed a routine Forks wasn't looking quite as bleak as it had.

We had been here four weeks and things were good.

Even mum seemed to be in a better mood, there was a story there but I decided not to pry and just be happy she was no longer yelling all the time.

I was fitting in well with my new group of friends, my biggest problem was fighting off Laurens advances.

After three days I'd realised she was looking for more than a one night thing but she was not someone I would ever be interested in for more.

Another slight thorn in my side was Alice McCarty.

I didn't know why it bothered me so much, she was an enigma I just could not let go of.

I had been sitting next to her everyday for four weeks and I still knew nothing about her other than her name.

It was unbelievably frustrating and what frustrated me more was trying to understand why it bothered me so damn much.

She wasn't doing anything to particularly annoy me, in fact for the most part she studiously ignored me which became a slight problem when the teacher announced a joint project with your lab partner, I.e. whoever you were sat next to.

I turned to face her as the bell rang ready to discuss meeting up to plan something only to find her already packed and out of her chair.

I frowned as I watched her head to the door.

"Hey wait."

Shoving my stuff into my bag I side stepped Lauren as she tried to corner me and quickly tracked Alice down to her locker.

She jumped in surprise as I stopped next to her.

"So, what do you want to do about this project?" I asked feeling strangely nervous as she just stood there looking at me.

A look of relief crossed her face when I asked that.

"Oh don't worry I know how it goes." she gave me a half hearted smile "I have been at this school longer than you."

Closing her locker she turned to walk away again.

Seriously confused and a little pissed off I stepped forward blocking her way.

Her eyes widened as I scowled down at her and my breath caught as I took in the force of them for a second.

Big round orbs of a startling bright green with little golden flecks around the pupil.

"What do you mean?" I finally stammered out.

She sighed softly "Don't worry I'll sort it, it will be finished 4 days before hand in so you can read through it and know what's going on. Like I said I've been at this school longer than you, I know the rules."

"What?" I asked incredulously as what she said sank in "You mean any time you're meant to do a joint project you've just been left to do it yourself?"

She nodded slowly as though it was the most obvious thing but I was horrified.

"I'm not expecting you to do that." I stated angrily "I was trying to ask when you wanted to meet so _we_ could start working on it."

I was annoyed she thought that of me and pissed off she'd been taken advantage of so much.

She raised an eyebrow "Really? Cause you know if you're caught talking to me your stock could plummet."

"We have a joint project." I stated stubbornly, I was not letting this go "I intend to pull my weight and do half the work." I gave her a grin "And how do you know talking to me wont increase your 'stock'?"

She smiled a little and shook her head "Like I said I've been at this school longer than you."

Sighing heavily she reached into her bag to pull out a notepad and pencil, turning her back on me she leant against her locker and wrote something before ripping the page out and handing it to me.

"Directions to my house, if you pull onto the drive and behind the trees no one should be able to see your car."

An uneasy feeling fell in my gut again at how easily she said things that were so self deprecating, like she's just accepted her life wasn't worth anything.

"Thanks." I folded the paper and put it in my back pocket "So I can come over….?"

She shrugged "Anytime really, in case you hadn't noticed I don't have much of a social life."

She then ducked under my arm and proceeded to skip down the hallway.

Most people stared at her like she was insane but I took the time to notice how much the movement suited her, like she wasn't built to just walk like everyone else.

I headed to the cafeteria grabbed my lunch and seated myself next to Edward.

Lauren was scowling at me from the other side of the table.

"What took you so long?" Edward asked with a frown.

I shrugged chewing on some fries "Just sorting out my Biology project."

"You're lucky." Lauren huffed "He got partnered with McCarty."

Edward clapped me on the back with a grin "Must be beginners luck mate, that's an easy A and you don't even need to do any work."

I scowled angrily "Actually I've arranged to meet her later to discuss what we're going to do."

I left out the going to her house part realising they probably knew where she lived.

Three seconds of ringing silence followed, I pretended not to notice as I took a drink of soda.

"You're actually going to willingly spend time with McCarty?" Tyler asked slowly as though his brain couldn't quite fathom this simple fact.

I shrugged refusing to see what the big deal was.

"She'd do the damn project for you." Lauren suddenly screeched "That's what she's there for."

I just shrugged again.

Everyone shuffled uncomfortably and looked over at Mike and Jess.

"Jay." Mike spoke up "No one spends time with McCarty, willingly or otherwise. I'm sorry but it's just not done."

My eyes locked with his "So what you're saying is if I actually do what I'm meant to and work with her on this project…?" I trailed of waiting for him to fill in the rest.

He just shrugged, I glanced around at the others to find them all avoiding my eye.

"Fine." I stood up suddenly picking my tray up "If you're gonna 'demote' me over this so be it."

Without waiting for a response I made my way over to an empty table on the other side of the cafeteria.

Great I was that guy!

The friendless one who sits alone at lunch.

I pushed my food around having lost my appetite, I didn't want to be this guy but at the same time I couldn't pretend I agreed with what they were saying.

A chair moved next to me and I looked up to find Lauren had come to join me.

Oh joy of great joy!

"If you want to do well in school no one can really argue with that." she shrugged.

"I wasn't looking for permission." I mumbled suddenly wishing I was alone again.

The doors to the cafeteria opened and Alice McCarty danced in, I watched her as she lined up for lunch staying quiet and just letting people push in front of her when they wanted.

Lauren's eyes narrowed and she linked her arm through mine.

"Hey Jay you busy on Friday?" she asked.

I tried not to sigh "Party at Jessica's isn't there?"

"Yeah." she mumbled "I was just wondering if you could pick me up?"

"Sure." I said without much enthusiasm "Around 8 ok?"

She smiled "My parents wont be home so you could come round earlier if you want."

Oh crap!

That's what she's after.

"I don't know." I said slowly "We'll see."

Thankfully the bell rang signalling the end of lunch and I was able to escape her clutches for the rest of the day.

At half 3 I made my way to my car, sending my mum a quick text to let her know I might be late home and followed the instructions Alice had given me to her house.

I pulled onto the driveway like she'd told me, her beat up VW bug was already there.

I took a deep breath not really sure what to expect as I looked up at the modest two storey detached house.

Would her parents be here? Did they know how she was treated at school? What would they think of me?

Shaking off my concerns I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and headed up the porch steps to the front door.

I rang the bell and waited ten seconds before Alice herself opened the door.

She smiled and stood back to let me in.

"You found it alright then." she asked as I stepped inside.

"Yeah fine." I took a second to take in her appearance.

She had changed out of the casual jeans and sweater combo she always wore for school into what looked like designer jeans and a light shirt that fitted her perfectly complementing her petite frame.

She was like the reverse of everyone else, wearing casual stuff at school and saving the fashionable stuff for home.

"Ok, so I've planned out a pretty even split but feel free to change anything you don't like." she told me leading me through to where a large wooden dinning table stood, her bag was flung on the floor and several folders lay open on top.

My eyes instinctively wandered around the room taking in the slightly stale atmosphere which seemed to contradict the family photos smiling down at me from every surface.

Alice handed me a piece of paper, the points we needed to cover for our project on genetics had been split in two like she'd said.

I frowned as I read through it.

"Anyone would think you didn't want to spend time with me." I joked realising the way she'd done it meant we didn't actually need to work together.

She shrugged "It's better this way." she said simply.

Sighing I sat down on one of the chairs, which seemed to shock her, and reread the paper again.

"Ok, well seeing as how people know I'm meeting you tonight to discuss this can I make the most of this one opportunity and actually discus the project with my partner?"

She chewed on her bottom lip seemingly unsure.

"Ok." she said slowly "You want a drink?"

Finally I was getting somewhere.

"Thanks, a soda would be great if you have any."

She disappeared into another room and I took the time to closer inspect some of the photos.

They all held the same four people Alice, and who I presume where her parents and brother.

My eyes fell to one of Alice and her brother and I grinned.

Her brother was huge in comparison to her, his arms where wrapped around her middle lifting her off the floor a cheeky grin on his face but it was the sheer joy that danced on Alice's face as she laughed that had me entranced by that particular picture.

"It was taken last summer."

I jumped as the sound of her voice and turned to find her standing watching me two cans of Pepsi in her hands.

"We made the most of the sun by going to La Push beach." she smiled at the memory "It's one of my favourites because it's just us, I mean we didn't know Rose was taking it."

She placed one of the cans next to me and took her seat across the table from me.

"Rose?" I had to ask.

"Emmett's girlfriend. Emmett's my brother." she explained "She spent most of the summer here with us."

Alice threw the picture another fond look before pulling her biology book towards her.

"Where's your brother now?" I'm not sure why I was so interested but I wanted to make the most of being able to talk to her. To unravel a little of the mystery to who she was.

"College, in Seattle. Rose goes there as well. He comes home every weekend."

That sounded a bit weird "What student life too much for him?" I joked but Alice's face fell.

"So what did you want to discuss about the project?" she asked flipping through her book.

"Erm." I blinked taken back by the sudden subject change "Not sure, something." I cleared my throat "Like is there any possible way we could, you know, work together on it?"

She sighed playing with the ring pull on her can "Jasper it's ok, I know how people at school see me, I'm used to it. I am grateful you're willing to do your share of this project but trust me, it's for your own good that it's this way."

"And that's alright with you is it?" I asked angrily.

I didn't like bullies and I didn't like the way they'd broken Alice down until she just accepted how they treated her.

_So why are you friends with them?_

I bit my tongue hard realising I'd fallen into the typical teenage trap of popularity over principles.

Once again I felt my breath catch as Alice's eyes locked with mine.

"Just over a year I graduate." she said "Then I never have to see any of them again. It really isn't that big of a deal to me Jasper."

"They shouldn't treat you like that." I stated stubbornly as though that would somehow make it better.

She laughed a little, a tinkling sound that made me feel strangely warm inside.

"It's high school Jasper." she smiled at me.

I took a swig from my soda and she sighed.

"Look I have no problem with you wanting to help." her eyes had gone back to the can before her "You can come round any time but, please don't let people know."

"For my sake?" I asked.

"No for mine." she muttered quietly "I've spent the last three years learning how to go unnoticed. You're still the shiny new toy to them and if they think I'm stealing you…" she trailed off.

Her admitting that made me realise this did bother her, she was just making the best of a bad situation.

"Ok." I agreed pulling my biology folder out of my bag, content to drop the subject now she was actually letting me help. "So where do we start?"

As we worked together the enigma that was Alice McCarty slowly began to reveal itself to me.

She obviously loved studying and her enthusiasm was intoxicating, and even though I didn't particularly like Biology she helped me find a new appreciation for it.

It was only when my stomach complained loudly that I realised how long we had been working.

"God it 7o'clock." I said looking at my watch and wondering where the fuck those three hours had gone.

The table was strewn with various pieces of paper holding diagrams and notes.

"We work well together." I laughed amazed by how much we had accomplished.

Alice giggled "Yeah we do. You want to stay for dinner or do you need to get home?" she asked clearing away her folders.

I stared at her in shock as she asked that.

She looked up when I didn't respond "Sorry."

She was apologising?

"It's just I'd feel bad not offering when I've kept you here this long." she busied herself with her school bag.

"No, I just wasn't expecting the offer." I thought for a second "I guess all I'm gonna get at home is leftovers, so if you don't mind me staying."

In honesty I was thrilled by the chance to spend more time with her. I was having fun.

"Great, I hate cooking for one." she laughed beckoning me to follow her through into the kitchen.

"Your parents don't get in till late?" I asked thinking how lucky she was to have the house to herself so much.

Her shoulders slumped and she curled in on herself making me frown.

What had I said?

"No one told you?" her voice was quiet and her back was still to me so I couldn't see her face.

"Told me what?" I asked confused.

She sighed and turned to face me, a sharp pain struck my chest at the look on her face, her usually bright eyes were dulled in pain.

"My parents died two years ago Jasper."

My mouth dropped open and everything seemed to slot into place. The number of photos of her parents making up for them not being here, the slightly stale feeling because only Alice lived here, her brother coming home every weekend to look after her.

"I'm sorry I didn't know." I whispered feeling awful.

She shrugged and turned to open the fridge "You like chilli?" she asked.

Again the sudden subject change threw me "Yeah that's fine."

She grinned pulling out onions and tomatoes "Good cause I'm told it's my specialty."

She danced over to the other side and turned on an ihome so the sound of Good Charlottes Good Morning Revival drifted around us.

"Nice music choice." I nodded my approval "Wouldn't have had you down as a fan of Good Charlotte."

She grinned at me, eyes sparkling "There's a lot you don't know about me Jasper."

Unfortunately being a 17 year old boy that thought went straight to my dick I frowned.

This was Alice McCarty for fuck sake!

"Need any help?" I asked desperate for a distraction as my mind thought now would be a good time to notice just how nicely those jeans hugged her ass.

"Well are you scared of showing you're emotions?" she grinned cheekily.

I frowned in confusion, rolling her eyes she pointed to one of the sideboards where there was a chopping bored set up with onions resting by it.

I moved towards it willingly and noticed another picture of her brother stuck to the fridge.

He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and the way his arms where wrapped around the waist of a blonde girl standing in front of him showed off just how much muscle he was packing.

The guy had to have about 40 pounds on me, probably best if I don't piss him off by trying to get into his sisters panties.

Ok stop thinking about her panties!

I stepped closer to the counter in the hope of concealing the hard on currently straining against the denim of my jeans.

Calm down little Jay, if you're that desperate you can get Lauren on Friday.

I blinked in surprise.

Wow that thought killed it fast enough!

I risked a glance over at Alice who was stood at the stove frying some mince up singing along to I don't wanna be in love and swaying her hips in a way that should be illegal.

Turning away from her I started hacking at the onion as though it was the one responsible for my current predicament.

If talking to Alice was social suicide what the fuck would happen if I started dating her.

Wow slow down!

Wanting to get into her pants on hormonal fuelled lust is one thing but dating her?!

I frowned, I couldn't deny I had had more fun with Alice planning a school project than I had at any other pint since my move to Forks, and now I was actually helping her cook in a bid to spend more time with her.

I have no idea how or why but for some reason Alice just made things seem that little brighter.

I scowled in annoyance, it was fine admitting that to myself when I was here with her but was I ready to throw away the small sense of normalcy I had managed to create at school for the sake of a girl I hardly knew?

The knife I was using slipped slicing into my finger.

"Shit!" I yelled.

I looked down to see blood flowing from the wound.

That's why you shouldn't let your mind wander whilst using sharp knives kids!

"Oh god, come here."

Alice's tiny hands closed around my wrist sending a shot of electricity through my body and she dragged me to the sink.

She held my hand under cold running water.

"Keep it under there." she demanded heading into the utility room just off the kitchen.

"Yes ma'am." I smirked, she was sexy when she took charge.

_It's those kinds of thoughts that nearly lost you a finger!_

"What happened?" she asked coming back carrying a first aid kit.

"Knife slipped." I chocked out as she took old of my wrist again wrapping a towel tightly around the injured finger she dried off the rest of my hand and arm.

"It doesn't look too deep." she informed me pulling a couple of large band aids from the box and wrapping them around my throbbing finger.

"If it bleeds through just let me know." she smiled softly "And I think that injury means you'll have to be subbed."

She ordered me to sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen whilst she finished off the chilli with admirable efficiency.

"So what made you move to Forks?" she asked as she cooked.

I tensed a little I hadn't really told anyone that, to be honest no one had asked me.

"Sorry I shouldn't pry." she quickly said.

I watched her for a while as she continued to cook.

She had told me about her life why couldn't I extend her the same courtesy, I knew she wasn't going to gossip about it.

"My parents got divorced."

She paused to look over at me as I spoke. I kept my eyes down.

"Mum wanted a fresh start so we moved."

"You didn't want to stay in Texas with your dad?"

I jumped a little at how close her voice was and looked up to find her standing across from me, genuine kindness and interest shone in her eyes.

I laughed bitterly "That wasn't really an option I was given. Me living with him would have messed up his new life."

Her fingers squeezed my arm lightly "His loss." she whispered before she skipped back over to the stove.

She didn't ask me anything else, not pushing for more details.

I blinked at her back several times.

"You're a natural in the kitchen." I complimented when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

She shrugged modestly "I'm just used to it."

My stomach flipped as I remembered what she'd said about her parents.

As she served the chilli and we sat down to eat my curiosity got the better of me.

"Have you been living on your own for the past two years then?"

She flinched a little but didn't avoid the question as I had expected.

"No Em was studying in NYC but moved back when…it happened, he stayed home for a few a while but I convinced him not to give up on his education so he transferred to Seattle, he used to commute on the days he had classes but now I'm older he trust me more."

I nodded amazed she was actually telling me all this.

"What about his girlfriend?"

Alice shrugged "Rosalie was annoyed when they first got together that he ditched her so often and Em got dead upset she'd break up with him so I told him to invite her down for a weekend so they could spend some time together and she got to see he was making the best out of a bad situation and because she cares about him she decided not to make it harder by being selfish. She comes with him most weekends now."

"What about you?" I asked softly.

Her eyes met mine for a second before dropping back to her bowl of chilli.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you get lonely?"

She played with her food and I realised I'd probably just pushed her too far.

"Sometimes." she whispered it so quietly I barely heard.

The shrill ringing of a phone broke the awkward silence that had fallen.

Alice's eyes flickered to the clock and a huge grin spread across her face hopping up she skipped to the phone and answered.

"You're 10 minutes early!" she teased.

I heard a muted booming laugh from the other end but couldn't tell what was being said.

"I'm fine Emmett, like always." she giggled.

And I couldn't help smiling as my eyes followed her around the room, her love for her brother shining through as she talked to him.

"I've been doing homework and I just made chilli…….yes there's enough for you to have some this weekend…….yes I made extra so you can take some back." she rolled her eyes "No I'm not going to send it to you special delivery, you'll just have to be patient."

She giggled again "You're an idiot sometimes, tell Rose to give you a smack from me."

Her nose suddenly wrinkled up in disgust causing me to chuckle.

"Gross Emmett! Ok hanging up now, that was way too much information."

She smiled patiently "Yes I know…….not sure we can decide when you get back."

She sighed in exasperation "I always lock the doors Emmett…….and set the alarm…….ok sorry I know you worry but I'm fine…….will do, see you Friday…….yeah I love you too, bye Em."

She hung up the phone and turned to find me grinning at her.

Her cheeks flushed a delicate pink "Sorry, he always calls at the same time every night."

"No worries." I checked the time it was just past 9 "I should probably be heading home."

"Right, sorry I can't believe I kept you here this late." she said walking me to the door.

"Hey don't worry about it, I enjoyed myself." I paused at the door "So how's about Monday night to work on the project again?"

She looked at the ground and shuffled her feet "You sure?" she asked slowly.

I nodded, I wasn't going to admit to her just how much I'd enjoyed spending time with her, but I was more than eager to do it again.

"Ok, if you're sure. Night Jasper." she smiled happily making my throat go dry.

"Sweet dreams Alice." I murmured fighting down the sudden urge to lean down and kiss her goodnight.

I quickly headed to my car flinging my bag onto the passenger seat.

Glancing up I saw Alice silhouetted against the light flooding out of the doorway, my heart stuttered.

As I drove home I tried to figure out why she was so unpopular at school. She was kind, sweet, helpful, funny, easy to talk to.

She may have dressed kind of frumpy at school, but the way she had looked tonight showed her to be anything but.

She was small sure but perfect. Her high cheekbones and slightly pointy chin paired with her pouty lips would have given her a haughty look had it not been for her big round eyes. Bright green with those little gold flecks, an open doorway to her soul showing off every emotion she felt, whether they were dulled with grief or sparkling with joy.

Her designer clothes had hugged her petite body perfectly showing off every delicate curves. Her collar bones had been visible above the neckline of her shirt and I thought about running my lips along them tasting her soft skin.

Little Jay decided to show his appreciation for my current line of thought by springing to attention at the thought of how it would feel to be inside her.

I groaned loudly banging my head on the steering wheel as I pulled up to my house my head still filled with images of Alice.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I had spent a grand total of 5 hours with this girl and I was already panting after her like a horny dog.

As I got ready for bed I began to wish I still knew nothing more about her than her name.

I chuckled humourlessly as I tried to get comfortable in bed with a raging boner playing havoc in my pants.

I was in such deep shit with this girl!

* * *

**Please review x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added my story to favorites and alerts.**

**Chapter 3: I'm ready for the weekend**

Alice's pov

The next day my mind was full of Jasper Whitlock which was very distracting, not to mention unexpected.

The night before had been surprisingly fun, I had enjoyed being able to talk to someone. It had been nice having company and it had been nice being able to sit down to dinner with someone.

The biggest surprise was I was actually looking forward to Monday so it could happen again.

I wasn't stupid however, I knew it was just working on a school project and as soon as it was over he'd just forget I existed, but I couldn't quell the little spark of hope in me. After all I had done everything I could to make this easier on both of us, splitting the project so we didn't need to work together, he was the one who insisted we did.

So maybe, just maybe, he'd still want to hang out after we had finished.

I didn't bother acknowledging him in the corridor before homeroom, Lauren was draping herself over him next to his locker so I stayed invisible in the student mass like I had taught myself.

I was a master of self preservation and I knew even if me and Jasper did become….Friends?

It wouldn't be the, going to parties together, hanging at lunch kind of friendship. It would be hanging at my house in secret when he didn't have a better offer.

I smiled happily thinking about that, most people would be horrified by such a thought but I could think of nothing better.

No one else would know we were friends meaning no one could interfere, it would just be the two of us, something I could have to myself.

The bell sounded breaking me from my daydreams. I shook my head at my overactive imagination, he was new to this school he probably didn't realise I had meant it when I said I would do the whole thing. There was no point letting my mind run away with me it would only lead to disappointment.

I should just be grateful he was willing to help me with the work.

Arriving at Biology I was weirdly nervous. Jasper was yet to arrive as I took my seat pulling my notepad and folder from my bag.

He walked in about 5 minutes later, Lauren still attached to his side, a few more days and it would probably require surgery to remove her.

I giggled quietly at that thought.

"It's so unfair we can't sit together." she whined giving me a pointed look.

I sighed unhappily glancing across the room, I really didn't want to sit by Eric. I was just about to pick my stuff up to move when Jasper spoke up.

"It's the teachers seating plan, there's not much you can do about it." he disentangled himself from her and threw himself down next to me.

Huffing Lauren moved to her seat as Mr. Banner brought the class to order.

"I would have moved." I mumbled quietly.

Jasper shrugged "I didn't want you to, it's one of the few occasions I can actually get away from her."

Lauren sent me a death glare from across the room and I dropped my eyes to the desk taking notes.

I heard Jasper shift beside me and glanced up to find him frowning at me.

Throwing the teacher a quick glance he ripped a page from his notebook and scribbled something on it before pushing it over to me.

I glanced down at it

_Thought we made progress last night?_

Sighing I pulled the paper toward me and wrote a reply, careful to note no one was watching before pushing it back to him.

_That was different, no one else was there_

All too soon it landed in front of me again.

_So I can't talk to you in public?!_

I chewed my lip thinking how to reply. In the end I just went with

_No_

Then quickly added

_Trust me it's better this way_

I heard him sigh and thought that was the end of it until the paper landed in front of me again

_Fair enough we'll do this your way_

_By the way thanks for dinner last night_,

_you weren't kidding about chilli being your specialty_

_Definitely the best I've ever had._

A small smile spread across my face at the compliment.

_Thanks _=D

I paused for a second then decided to throw caution to the wind, after all we had agreed to Monday.

_Any requests for Monday?_

He chuckled a little beside me, I bit my lip to stop smiling more.

He just had time to send back.

_Whatever you want darlin just don't expect help this time_

_In case you didn't notice I'm useless!_

_Can't even make toast._

Before we had to abandon our correspondence and actually do some work.

Friday we didn't really get the chance to talk, or pass notes but it didn't really bother me. Nothing bothered me on a Friday because I was too busy counting down the hours until Emmett would be home.

For once Rosalie wouldn't be with him because she had to visit her parents and as much as I loved Rose I was really looking forward to getting Em to myself for once.

My final lesson of the day was trigonometry and as I worked methodically through the problems I was watching the minutes tick towards the final bell and the promise of two whole days away from this place.

I was out of my seat the second the bell rang and made my way quickly to my locker.

Jess and her coven were standing in the hallway chatting and I opened my locker hiding myself wishing I'd been less eager so more people would be about, luckily they seemed pretty absorbed with discussing their plans for the weekend and just ignored me.

Well when I say ignored me they didn't say anything to me directly but they did make sure I'd overhear their conversation, especially Lauren.

"I can't wait for tonight." she said louder than necessary.

"I know it's gonna be a great party."

I felt the familiar pang in my stomach at the sound of Bella's voice.

"Obviously! Only the coolest people were invited" Lauren said rudely.

I rolled my eyes, that one hurt!

"But more importantly me and Jasper."

I tried not to listen I really did.

"What do you mean Lauren?" Jess asked sounding bored.

"We're going to your party together and with my parents away he'll end up staying the whole weekend, especially when he gets an eyeful of the new lingerie I bought. So don't bother trying to call me fore the next few days."

For some reason my good mood dropped when I heard that, there was no way I could be friends with Jasper if her was dating Lauren.

I quickly shook off my gloom, it's not like I really expected us to be friends anyway so I wasn't losing anything.

The smile returned to my face I still had the weekend to look forward to and I closed my locker making my way towards the car park.

Just as I was passing them Jess stepped out ramming into me and causing me to stumble and hit the opposite wall hard.

The three witches laughed harshly. I winced as pain shot through my hip.

It's the weekend, just think about the weekend.

I told myself over and over as I continued on like nothing had happened.

By the time I got home I was bouncing around in excitement and sent a glare at the clock knowing I had at least an hour yet before Emmett got home.

Stupid time always seemed to mock me.

I busied myself doing my homework. When I was done I flicked through the TV channels for a while not really paying attention to what was on.

My eyes kept flicking to the clock. Had it stopped working?

I watched the second hand tick around slowly.

My head shot up as I heard the tell tale sound of Emmett's jeep roaring down the road.

I had the door open before he'd even parked.

"Hey baby sister." he laughed as I launched myself into his welcoming hug.

He reached bag into the jeep to retrieve his bag.

"So what are we doing tonight?" he asked as we wandered back inside.

I shrugged unable to keep the grin off my face.

"You want me to heat up some chilli while you put your stuff away?" I asked.

Emmett's eyes lit up "I'd forgotten you made chilli."

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips "Do you listen to anything I tell you!"

He ruffled my hair affectionately and turned towards the stairs.

I skipped through to the kitchen to heat up some chilli for both of us. I smiled widely as I remembered making this the other night with Jasper.

I took the bowls through to the lounge knowing Emmett hated sitting at the dinning table to find him standing there a cheeky grin on his face his hands behind his back hiding something.

"I know what we can do tonight." he sang.

My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Ta dah." he pulled Cluedo and Monopoly out from behind his back.

"Emmett! Bored games?!" I asked.

He shrugged "Why not? Do you have any better ideas?" he asked as I continued to just stand there staring at him.

With a sigh I gave in and passed him his chilli.

"How's Rose?" I asked as we tucked in.

Emmett's face broke into a soft smile, it was obvious he was crazy about her.

"She's fine, sends her love. She was excited at going home for a few days though."

We continued to chat as we ate, filling each other in on what had happened in the past week.

As soon as he had finished Emmett dropped to the floor to set up the Cluedo board.

I rolled my eyes but joined him on the floor. Emmett was such a big kid.

After several games of Cluedo, in which Emmett came up with increasingly gruesome scenarios for each murder, I insisted on switching to Monopoly through fear I'd end up with nightmares.

By the time I went to bed that night my face ached from the amount of smiling I'd been doing and I fell into a peaceful sleep eager for tomorrow.

Emmett took me for the traditional weekly shop, we did this every Saturday so during the week I only had to worry about the essentials like bread and milk.

The day was overcast but dry and we decided to make the most of it by tidying up the garden.

It may not seem the most exciting activity in the world but I was happy being able to spend time with Emmett and he had the ability to make anything more fun than it seemed.

I'd nicknamed him Mary Poppins when we were younger because he had once made tidying our rooms into a game.

"You know I feel bad sometimes." he mused as he pulled up weeds.

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged "You know you don't have to spend the entire weekend with me if there's something else you wanted to do." he said pausing to look at me.

I shook my head with a smile "I have all week to do 'something else' Em, I like spending time with you."

Emmett wasn't quite aware of my lack of social life, I know it was naïve to hope he wouldn't notice I had no friends but I just always avoided the topic.

"Ok." he said "Just wanted you to know you don't have to spend all weekend with me."

"Might as well make the most of it while we can." I told him "When I go to college we'll probably only get holidays together."

He got a far away look on his face "Oh happy days." he said wistfully.

Scowling I flung a lump of mud at him.

Of course Emmett being Emmett that resulted in a full blown mud fight.

"Ok, ok. I surrender." I squealed laughing hard as he dropped me into a pile of mud covering any part of me that had been clean.

"Christ, mum would flip if she could see us." Emmett chuckled as he looked down at me.

I stood up looking down at myself. There wasn't any part of me not covered with mud.

"I think I need a shower." I pointed out the obvious.

By the time we had both cleaned up the sky was beginning to darken and I felt my good mood fade, the day was nearly over, the weekend was nearly over.

Sighing I made my way to the kitchen to make dinner.

No point wasting the time I had left by moping.

* * *

Jasper's pov

Friday night came far too quickly for my liking.

Lauren was still trying to get me to go over to her house and I kept coming up with a thousand reasons why I couldn't.

I did still go to pick her up at 8, after all I had said I would. I ended up waiting 15 minutes in the car before she finally came out looking pissed at me.

Her short skirt and skin tight top were designed to give a guy some serious trouble in the trouser department but I didn't even feel a twitch.

My mind went to Alice, or more precisely Alice's ass in those damn jeans.

Oh there's the twitch!

We drove in silence Lauren ignoring me, which was fine because my mind was entertaining itself.

By the time we arrived outside Jessica's I was wishing I was anywhere but.

Sighing heavily I killed the engine and got out, Lauren may have been pissed at me but it didn't stop her attaching herself to my arm as we headed inside.

Most of the school seemed to have been invited and my desire to not be here increased with the knowledge the one person I actually wanted to spend time with probably wasn't even aware a party was being thrown.

I shook Lauren off and headed to the kitchen to get a drink.

Sipping it slowly I watched as people, at varying degrees of drunkenness, embarrassed themselves.

_God Whitlock you sound like a fucking old man!_

My eyes caught sight of a very drunk Bella being led upstairs by Edward.

Lauren was suddenly beside me again.

"Hey you wanna dance?" she asked tugging on my arm and looking put out when I didn't move.

"Not particularly." I answered in a bored tone.

"We could always go somewhere a bit more private." she purred rubbing up against me.

I sighed "Lauren look" I stopped, what did I say next?

_You're a great girl_, well that was a lie!

_It's not you it's me_, another lie!

_I like someone else._

Alice's face formed in my head as I thought that.

Bingo!

Alice cared, we may not have spent much time together but she'd actually given a shit about my life. Not one of my so called friends had.

"What?"

I looked down at Lauren and realised I had yet to finish my sentence.

"Can you get a lift home with someone else? I'm gonna call it a night."

Her eyes narrowed.

"What?" she hissed.

"I'm not feeling great, I'm gonna head home so you can get a lift with Tyler right?"

"But we came together, you can't just leave me here." her voice got whiny.

Time to be bit harsh, seeing as how being nice hadn't worked.

"Lauren I gave you a lift, that's all it was" I paused "That's all it ever will be."

I didn't even bother waiting for her to respond. I just had to get out of there.

My head fell back against the headrest as I got into my car.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

When did I pass up girls that literally threw themselves at me?

_Since you decided you weren't your father._

A little voice spoke up at the back of my mind.

I growled out in frustration and started the car.

I drove around aimlessly for a while and somehow found myself outside Alice's house.

Great now I'm a fucking stalker!

A large red jeep was parked next to her yellow bug, her brother must have been home.

I had no clue what was possessing me to sit in my car outside her house but the light was on in one of the front rooms and I could see the shadows of two people through the window.

I stayed there for 10 minutes before realising that what I was doing was creepy beyond words and there was a good chance I may get arrested if anyone saw me so I quickly headed home.

"You're home early." my mum said as I walked in, she was curled up on the sofa in her pyjamas her long caramel coloured hair tied up in a ponytail a box of tissues lay next to her and a chick flick was playing on the TV.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed." I mumbled distractedly.

"Are you alright Jasper?" she asked sitting up.

I shrugged, was I alright?

I'd just turned down a girl more than willing to fuck me and spent 10 minutes perveing on a shadow.

That was not normal behaviour!

"I know it's hard for you but, despite how he acts, your father does love you." I could tell it took a lot for her to defend him like that.

"Thanks mum." I wandered over to give her a hug "I love you." I mumbled before heading to bed.

The next morning I woke to discover my phone filled with missed calls and messages from Lauren.

The girl could not take a fucking hint!

I got the general gist of her messages before deleting them all.

Most were her mad at me, which turned into her trying to make me jealous, which turned into grovelling apologies.

I continued ignoring her calls for the rest of the day, hoping at some point she may get a clue and leave me the fuck alone!

Randomly Edward showed up in the afternoon whilst I was sprawled in front of the TV trying to find something worth watching.

"So what happened to you last night?" he asked as I let him in.

"I wasn't in the mood for it." my phone started ringing again and I flung it at the wall in frustration.

Edward chuckled "Let me guess, Lauren."

I sighed and flopped back onto the sofa "Yep."

Edward laughed as he sat next to me "Yeah you really ruined her plans, she's been telling everyone how you'd be staying the whole weekend at her place and obviously fall totally in love with her and end up living happily ever after"

I had to laugh at Edward's poor imitation of Lauren until the words sank in and I groaned.

"What is it going to take for her to realise I'm not interested?" I asked.

Edward just shrugged as he took control of the TV remote.

"Start seeing someone else." he suggested then frowned "Of course that could just turn her into a bunny boiler."

We lapsed into silence for a while as Edward found some programme that interested him and I let my mind wander down the dangerous paths that led to thoughts of Alice McCarty.

"Just so you know Mike and Jess are a bit put out you left so early." Edward glanced over as commercials came on "Don't push them too far Jay, your status as the new kid doesn't make you invincible."

I shook my head "To be honest Edward I really couldn't give a fuck. I can't pretend I agree with the shit they do."

His eyes narrowed a little "This is about McCarty isn't it."

This guy was a fucking mind reader!

"Maybe." I mumbled, I knew I could trust Edward "I just don't understand what she's done to deserve being treated like that. I don't like bullies, and the really fucked up thing is I don't actually have the balls to stand up and say that cause I know you're right."

Edward sighed sympathetically "Sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices Jay. This is high school not fucking Congress, you get the rest of your life to care about principles and shit high schools about popularity."

I glared at him and he just shrugged again.

"Hey you want to make a stand I wont fucking stop you but it wont change a damn thing so what's the point of ruining your life if it wont make hers any better?"

He just wasn't getting this and I decided to drop it before I said something I'd regret.

"I guess." I conceded.

We lapsed into silence again.

"Her and Bella used to be friends you know." Edward began slowly.

My head shot round to look at him my interest sparked.

What was it about this fucking girl that any tiny bit of information on her felt like discovering priceless jewels or something.

"When they were younger I mean."

"So what happened?" I asked remembering how Bella had never really joined in the teasing of Alice.

Edward shrugged his eyes still on the TV "She made a choice."

I bit my tongue trying to control my impatience, why did everything have to be in riddles?

"What does that mean?"

Edward turned giving me a hard look before shaking his head with a sigh.

"Look Jay, you're a good friend and I'm warning you now this is a really dangerous path you're heading down. Just forget about her, everyone else has. Do what you need to for school then drop it."

"Is that what Bella did?" I asked through clenched teeth "Just dropped her?"

Edward's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Don't blame Bella for this, like I said she made a choice, if she'd stayed friends with McCarty she'd have been bullied too, she was for a while."

"So she stabbed her in the back instead, nice friend!" I snapped sarcastically.

Edward was on his feet glaring at me.

_Note to self, don't underestimate Edward's feeling for Bella just because he doesn't give a shit about other people._

"Who do you think you are coming here and taking the moral fucking high ground. I don't see you doing any better." he yelled "She made a choice, self preservation, and don't think she doesn't feel guilty about it."

With that he stormed out the door leaving me to realise I'd probably just lost one of the better friends I'd made in Forks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight all recognisable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Why does it always rain on me?**

Alice's pov

There was a small hint of light shining for me as Monday rolled round.

The knowledge that Jasper said he was coming over tonight meant it didn't seem as bad as normal.

Of course if his weekend had gone the way Lauren had said it would I knew the chances of him showing up were limited, but right now I'd take any little spark of hope I could get.

For once he arrived at Biology alone and my little glimmer of hope burned a bit brighter.

"You have a good weekend?" he asked smiling at me.

"Yeah it was great." I answered back automatically not really thinking just happy he was talking to me "How about you?"

He grimaced when Lauren walked in scowling at him before sending me a glare that reminded me I shouldn't be getting this friendly with Jasper in public.

"Pretty crap actually." he said answering my question.

I bit my lip keeping my eyes on my notebook and Jasper chuckled form beside me.

"Wow you answered my question and asked one of your own, we're making progress." he teased and I couldn't stop my lips curling up slightly, it was just too easy to be myself around Jasper.

Mr. Banner came around to check up on the progress we were making on our projects and was rather impressed by the start me and Jasper had made.

"I can still come round tonight right?" Jasper asked as Mr. Banner moved on to the next pair.

I tried not to let my excitement show as I looked up at him "Of course, I'm free most weekdays."

He grinned nudging me with his elbow "You shouldn't tell me that darlin' the promise of your cooking alone would have me round every night."

I giggled as a small spark of pride rose in me, I knew I was a good cook, Emmett told me often enough but to hear it from Jasper made me feel really good.

The bell rang and Jasper winked at me as we packed our stuff away leaning close he whispered "See you later."

I made my way to the cafeteria humming quietly to myself and made my way along the line without a care in the world.

It wasn't raining so I decided to take my lunch outside and enjoy the nice weather.

Lauren appeared quite literally out of nowhere, malice burned in her eyes.

My eyes widened in horror as she bumped into me, seemingly by accident, but her foot shot out to trip me as I lost my balance.

I had the time for a small gasp of dismay before I landed on the floor my lunch covering me, Lauren's cup of juice also dropped on me soaking into my sweater.

"Whoops, sorry." She said, not sounding the slightest bit sorry.

Tears burned in my eyes and my breath came out in sharp pants as laughter echoed around the cafeteria.

"Looks like the tiny dancer isn't as graceful as she thinks." Jessica's voice mocked.

I pushed myself back to my feet slowly and kept my eyes down as I picked up my ruined lunch and dropped it in the bin before making my way to my locker.

I kept my eyes on the floor refusing to look at anyone, opening my locker I carefully pulled out the spare set of clothes I kept there.

It had been years since I'd needed them but it had been a lesson I hadn't forgot and one I was grateful for now.

I kept my mind blank as I went to the bathroom to change and clean up as best I could.

Luckily nothing had gone on my hair so with clean clothes on I looked ok.

It could have been worse.

I told myself over and over.

The rest of the day was a blur as I kept my mind blank ignoring the comments and laughter that followed me. I held myself together just going through the motions.

I just managed to make it through the front door before my legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor sobbing.

I very rarely let myself be affected by the bullying, I'd just let it go as an inevitable part of life, but today had been really tough and coming home to an empty house pushed me over the edge.

I missed Emmett, I missed my parents.

I just wanted someone here to hold me, tell me everything would be ok. I just wanted someone who cared.

Slowly I picked myself up off the floor and headed upstairs to change, I was past caring as I pulled on some sweat pants and Em's old NYC hood.

I smiled a little through my tears as it fell to mid thigh and I needed to roll the sleeves up several times to find my hands.

It was big and cuddly and reminded me of Emmett. It made me feel better.

I loaded up the washing machine with my soiled clothes and was just contemplating whether I wanted pizza or chinese, because I could not be bothered with cooking tonight, when the doorbell rang.

Apprehension washed over me, who would be coming to my house?

I made sure the safety chain was on and opened the door a little.

I blinked in surprise finding Jasper Whitlock standing on my porch.

"Hey." he said softly taking in the small part of my face visible through the partially open door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in confusion.

He flinched back a little "Erm, we agreed to work on our project tonight, remember?"

I had completely forgotten about that.

He shuffled nervously for a bit "Look I completely understand if you don't want me to come in." he rushed out.

I felt a smile tug at my lips and closed the door so I could remove the chain and let him in.

"Why wouldn't I want you to come in?" I asked standing back to let him in.

He grimaced "After what happened at lunch." he muttered quietly.

A shot of pain hit my stomach and rushed up my body to my tear ducks, I blinked hard several times.

"You didn't do anything." I said wondering why he thought I'd be mad at him, he wasn't the one who tripped me, or laughed at me.

More tears threatened and I couldn't stop them spilling over.

"Exactly, I didn't do anything! I should have said something or stopped her I'm so sorry Alice." his voice was heavy with guilt.

"It's ok." I assured "I don't usually let it get to me this much." my voice shook as I tried to hold onto some control "It's just been a really tough day." my voice broke and a sob shook my body.

I wrapped my arms tight around myself, my fingers tightened around the loose folds of fabric from the oversized hoody.

"I'm sorry Jasper but I'm really not in the mood to work on our project tonight, can we reschedule?"

I looked at the floor as my body continued to tremble from the whirlwind of emotions I was trying to keep a lid on.

"Yeah we can reschedule." he said softly "Shit Alice, this is a dumb question but are you gonna be alright?"

A slightly hysterical giggle burst out of me "I'll survive."

I still couldn't look at him as tears flowed down my face.

"Is there anything I can do?" his voice was so full of concern it made me look up.

The genuine compassion and worry on his face broke through every defence I had spent three years carefully perfecting.

Shaking my head slowly I let the damn burst.

"I want my mum." I sobbed collapsing to the floor in an undignified heap.

I was rocking like someone possessed, my arms tightened trying to hold myself together as I cried.

Arms suddenly circled me pulling me against a firm warm chest and I broke down completely.

Soothing words were whispered in my ear, I couldn't tell exactly what he was saying but the deep bass of his voice helped calm me.

He held me tight to him one hand occasionally running over my back soothingly.

Immeasurable amounts of time passed before I finally seemed to run out of tears. I dry sobbed for a while until I just didn't have the energy.

Taking several deep breaths I pulled back from Jasper's chest to find he had, at some point, moved us onto the sofa.

He gave me a lopsided smile as I looked up at him.

"You feel better?" he asked softly.

I nodded too tired to speak, I didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed although I did take the time to climb off his lap so I was sitting next to him.

"Sorry." I croaked out, my throat dry from so much crying.

He shrugged "Don't be we all have our moments, I'm just glad I was here to help. I'm not sure how much good I was."

"You were great." I admitted "I'm glad you were here too."

Pulling my feet up onto the sofa I hugged them tight not sure about the correct etiquette was for this situation.

I knew I should be giving Jasper the out he was probably hoping for but in that moment I didn't want to be alone and unfortunately for Jasper he was the only one here.

"So." he began, taking a stab at conversation after a few minutes silence passed "You're not in the mood for Biology, what did you want to do instead?"

My neck shot up to look at him so fast it's a miracle I didn't strain it.

"What?" I stammered out.

He shrugged looking down at his hands "I don't want to just leave you like this." he muttered quietly "Not until I know you're alright at least."

I bit my lip, feeling guilty he felt he needed to stay.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I am alright" I mumbled resting my cheek against my knees and looking over at him, he frowned at me and shook his head.

"I wish you would stop apologising all the time."

I shrugged "You're meant to apologise when you're sorry for something." I told him.

He sighed "You seem to be sorry for everything."

I just shrugged again looking down at the floor unsure what else to say.

"You're allowed to be upset about what happened Alice." he said softly "You're allowed to be upset over losing your parents."

More tears formed and I had to wonder how I wasn't dehydrated by the amount of water I'd lost through crying.

"It's just been a really hard day." I said again looking back over at Jasper.

His eyes wandered around the room as though searching for inspiration.

He sighed "I don't know what to say Alice, I haven't had to go through even half of what you're dealing with. I want to make this better but the only way I can think of doing that is by backing off like you told me I should in the beginning and I don't want to do that. I want to be your friend." the look on his face when he said that made my defences flicker back to life, he wasn't lying I could tell that but there was something he wasn't telling me.

"Why?" I had to ask, since Bella no one had shown the slightest interest in being my friend.

He smiled sadly at me "Because you need a friend, and I enjoy spending time with you, you're easy to talk to." he shrugged "I don't know, I just know I'd hate myself if I turned my back on you now."

I let myself think about that for a long time, I enjoyed spending time with Jasper as well, something about him made me trust him.

Maybe we could make this work, I mean we were spending time together now.

"We'd have to be more careful at school." I said thoughtfully.

Jasper frowned then sighed angrily as he seemed to understand what I was saying.

"You saw what happened today when Lauren saw us talking in Biology." I said quietly.

A look of pain crossed Jasper's face and I felt guilty bringing that up again but it was the best way to get my point across.

"Ok, so no talking in public." Jasper grinned at me "Do we need strategic drop points in case I need to tell you something, or maybe code names?"

I giggled a little then looked over at him seriously, he seemed so determined to be my friend.

"I'm really not worth the effort you know." I told him softly making him frown again.

"Yes you are." he said stubbornly.

The tension that had built up quickly disappeared as my stomach growled loudly reminding me I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and making Jasper chuckle.

"You want to get take out?" Jasper asked giving me a look that told me not to argue when I opened my mouth to tell him he didn't have to stay.

"Looks that way seeing as how I can't be bothered to cook and you told me you can't."

"What do you fancy?" he asked.

"It was a toss up between pizza or chinese." I told him shifting so my legs were now curled under me.

We ended up ordering pizza and just ate it straight from the box on the lounge floor.

"I like the idea of code names." I said thinking about our earlier conversation.

Jasper chuckled "Ok, but can we call them nicknames, you know like friends give each other."

"Ok." I giggled "What do you want yours to be?"

"Everyone usually call me Jay." he said.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste 'Jay' just didn't seem to suit him.

I kept repeating his name over in my head, shortening it in different ways trying to find something that worked.

"Jazz!" I suddenly burst out causing him to jump a little "Jazz suits you better than Jay."

He thought over it for a minute then nodded.

"I can cope with Jazz, what abut you?"

I shrugged getting up to dispose of the empty pizza box. Jasper let forth a laugh and I gave him a questioning look.

"What?" I asked.

"I got it." he grinned cheekily "Mini!"

"Mini?" I asked.

"Yeah." he hopped up and came to stand next to me placing a patronizing hand on my head "You're so small you're like a mini person."

I scowled at him as he beamed proudly then ended up laughing.

"Jazz and Mini. We sound like a bad 70's folk group."

Jasper laughed "You're the one who wanted code names."

I sighed, Mini wasn't that bad and it had been me who wanted nicknames. This whole friends thing was going to take some getting used to.

"How do you do it?" I asked as we were sat watching TV later that night.

"Do what?" Jasper asked in confusion.

I played with the sleeve of Emmett's hoody and refused to look at him "Make me feel better." I thought back to how depressed I had been earlier "I miss Emmett, I miss my mum and dad, but somehow it doesn't seem as unbearable when your…" I trailed off feeling embarrassed I'd just admitted that.

I shuffled uncomfortably well aware Jasper was looking at me.

"I don't know." he murmured softly "Were you close to your parents?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded still playing with my sleeves "My dad was a businessman nothing interesting, his office was in Port Angeles and he worked long hours and sometimes we'd hardly see him in the week but he always made up for it at the weekend." I smiled softly at the memories "Every Friday night he brought home the biggest bunch of flowers for my mum, he'd get me and Em chocolate." it was nice to talk about them like this remembering the good times "My mum was an artist, she worked from home so she could look after us, she was a bit of a hippy if I'm honest." I laughed thinking about her eccentric behaviour "A free spirit."

Tears stung my eyes again. I missed them so much.

I looked over at Jasper he gave me a small sad smile, I chewed my lip wondering whether to make the most of having someone here with me to do something I'd been putting off for years.

"Can you just wait here for a second?"

A look of confusion crossed his face but he nodded as I hopped up and headed upstairs.

I needed to cross this barrier and after everything that had happened today, now seemed like a good time. Talking about my parents for once made me want to do this.

With trembling hands I pushed open the door to my parents bedroom, it was spotless. I always kept it clean, everything was still the same as the day they'd….

I took a deep breath and moved over to the wardrobe and grabbed the two guitar cases that lived there.

I struggled to get them downstairs and saw Jasper sit up still confused as I knelt on the floor and opened the case holding my guitar.

"I haven't played for years." I told Jasper, my back was to him but I knew he was watching me. "My mum…" I took another deep shaky breath my fingers ran over her case but I still couldn't bring myself to open it. I pushed it to one side and focused on mine instead.

"She taught you." Jasper finished for me.

I nodded taking my guitar out I showed Jasper the design she had painted on the back, a large rainbow with flowers falling from it like shooting stars.

My name was written on in swirling letters.

"When I was little I would sit on the floor watching her whilst she played for me, as soon as I was old enough they got me my own guitar and she taught me to play. We could spend hours just messing around trying to write our own songs and stuff. I don't want to give it up but…I just can't."

Jasper moved to kneel next to me "Can I?" he asked holding his arms out to take my guitar.

I passed it over to him and he strummed a couple of cords "It needs tuning." he said.

My eyes found his and I smiled "You play?"

"Oh yeah I'm a superstar." he joked then shrugged "It was more one of those fads I had, I mean I could play well but I never took it that seriously."

I smiled again, it was crazy how much we seemed to have in common.

"Do you know how to tune it?" I asked.

Jasper nodded "You want me too?"

"Please." I mumbled.

He kept his eyes on the guitar as he tuned it for me when finished he moved to hand it back to me and I continued chewing my lip pulling my knees back up to my chest I kept my eyes down.

"Will you play something for me?" I mumbled I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Sorry you don't have to." I said quickly wanting to hit myself for how insensitive I was being tonight "I'm sorry Jasper, I'm not really thinking clearly here. It's all been a bit much today and…"

"Hey." he cut me off shifting forward and wrapped his arms around me again, I collapsed into his support.

"Don't worry about it, you ever need to let go, cry, talk to someone, I'm here ok. That's what friends are for." he whispered before pulling back and taking my guitar in his hands again.

He strummed a few cords obviously trying to figure out what to play.

Random notes drifted around me as he played something I didn't recognise and I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I watched Jasper play, his fingers dancing lightly over the strings, his forehead had a small crease of concentration etched into it.

I leant against his shoulder and slowly drifted off to sleep soothed with the knowledge I wasn't alone.

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys keep me writing. x**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Decisions, decisions.**

Jasper's pov

I could not sleep when I got home that night, I lay in bed tossing and turning thinking over everything that had happened.

I had let Alice sleep resting against me until it got late and I knew I needed to get home.

The immense gratitude she showed that I had been there with her was humbling.

It still amazed me how openly trusting she was sharing these difficult aspects of her life with me, but then I realised sadly she didn't really have anyone else.

"_How do you do it? Make me feel better."_

Her words swam in my head.

I wasn't sure how I made her feel better, what I was sure was I felt better around her.

I liked spending time with her, of course I was well aware I lusted after her and well aware she was in no position for me to act on that lust.

The strange thing was tonight, for the first time since puberty had hit, I had been close to a girl I admitted I wanted to fuck, I'd had her in my arms while she was emotional and vulnerable and easy to manipulate and I had felt no desire to act.

Not even one guilty, _it would be so easy to kiss her now_, thought.

I sighed running a hand through my hair.

None of that really mattered of course. At the end of the day it came down to two things.

Follow Alice's instructions, steer clear of her at school and just spend time with her when no one else was around.

Or, disregard that completely admit I'd rather be friends with Alice than Mike and his posse and make a stand.

I knew what I should do, but would I actually have the balls for it?

The next day I didn't see Alice until Biology, she was back to her usual cheery self.

"Hey Mini." I murmured taking my seat.

She cocked an eyebrow at me "Hey Jazz." she whispered back making me smile.

Lauren walked in and I saw her give Alice a glare before looking over to smile at me, I just scowled back and nearly laughed my ass off at the shocked look on her face.

"So I've been thinking." I said slowly as we started work.

Alice gasped in shock and I looked down, my eyes widened at the worried look on her face.

"You didn't strain yourself did you?" she asked her voice full of concern.

My eyes narrowed and I scowled at her, she smiled blinking at me innocently.

"You know, I'm not gonna talk to you if you're gonna be mean." I said turning so my back was to her.

Of course that didn't have the affect I'd hoped it would because according to Alice we shouldn't talk at school anyway.

I took the time to try and figure out how to explain the decision I'd come to.

By the time the bell rang for lunch I still hadn't managed it and made a split second decision. After all actions speak louder than words right.

Alice gave me a questioning look as I followed her from the classroom towards the cafeteria, I winked at her cheekily.

"I decided I didn't like your plan." I explained as she continued to look at me worryingly as I got in line behind her to get lunch.

"So where are we sitting?" I asked realising Alice very rarely sat in the cafeteria to eat her lunch.

"Jasper…" she began but I shook my head to cut her off.

She sighed and looked down at her tray "You do realise there's no going back from this right."

"Yes I do." I said slowly "Alice I wasn't lying last night, I want to be your friend and I'm sorry but for me friendship isn't something to be hidden from the world while I hang out with people I don't even like."

She met my eyes and I could see the worry in them.

"This is my choice Mini." I said "So where do we sit?"

She smiled softly "Well there's a free table over there if you really want to make a point, or we can go to my usual spot."

I glanced around to see Mike, Jess, Lauren and Tyler gaping at me in shock.

"I think for today I want to make my point." I said heading towards the empty table.

I heard Alice sigh as she followed me.

"You ok?" I asked as we sat down, the cafeteria was unusually quiet.

"Everyone's staring." she mumbled slowly unscrewing the lid from her water bottle.

"Sorry that's my fault." I grinned "I'm just so attractive people can't take their eyes off me!"

As I'd hoped that made her laugh and relax a little.

"You're gonna get killed for this you know." she said smiling at me sadly.

I shrugged unconcerned and tucked into my burger.

She was right of course and as I headed towards my car at the end of the day I found I had a welcoming comity.

"What the fuck was that at lunch?" Mike asked in anger.

I raised an eyebrow "I'm not sure." I said "I think it was meant to be bolognaise, you never can tell with cafeteria food. You'd have been safer going with the burger."

I couldn't help being a smart ass and it was worth it to see Mike turn purple.

Jessica's eyes flickered to someone behind me and I looked over to see Alice standing frozen, a look of alarm on her face as she took in the scene before her.

Mike regained the ability to speak "You don't talk to McCarty, you don't have lunch with her, you are not fucking friends with her." he yelled.

I stood there calmly "No what I don't do is listen to pathetic cowards who get off on making someone else's life miserable. She's gone through enough without you making it worse." I said my voice cold and flat.

He launched into another rant I didn't even bother listening to.

"You done?" I asked when he paused.

"You're done." he hissed "We are through Whitlock."

I rolled my eyes "Thanks for that clarification, I wasn't sure for a minute!" I shot out.

I saw his fist swing towards my head and easily ducked to avoid it, I didn't bother to retaliate. Although hitting him probably would have made me feel better.

"We're done right." I said "So doesn't that mean you fuck off and leave me alone now."

Mike's eyes narrowed and the rest of them gaped at me.

Guess no one had ever stood up to them before and they had no idea how to react.

"Come on he's not worth it." Mike growled out walking away and the others followed.

Bella paused for a second but quickly moved back to Edward as our eyes met.

Turning back to my car I gave an audible groan, Lauren was still there.

"Lauren fuck off!" I said, done with being polite.

"Why her?" she asked angrily "What the fuck do you see in that…"

"Do not finish that sentence!" I growled out dangerously.

She faltered but didn't give in "Do you like the challenge or something? Pure little virgin girl" she smirked "Well allegedly."

I ground my teeth together "You know what Lauren." I sighed trying to control my anger "Why her? The only answer I can give is because you think like that and she doesn't. Not everything in the world revolves around sex, which I know puts you at a disadvantage."

I winced as she slapped me hard.

That had been an evil thing to say, true, but evil.

She stormed off finally leaving me in peace.

"You know I'd understand if you changed your mind."

I jumped at the sound of Alice's voice.

Shaking my head I sighed "I'm not gonna change my mind Mini. Sorry but you're stuck with me."

She smiled happily "I think I can live with that." she giggled hugging my arm.

"See you tomorrow Jazz." she sang as she skipped across the car park to her car.

* * *

Alice's pov

It had been a very weird couple of days.

Driving home on Tuesday my mood could not have been more different from my mood on Monday night.

I couldn't stop smiling and ended up singing along loudly to the radio.

My smile fell a little when I got home and found the guitar cases still in the lounge. Part of me wanted to hide them away again but I knew that wouldn't help.

I finished up my homework then decided to phone Emmett and see if he was free, I was in the mood for a chat.

"Hey squirt." he answered.

I pouted "Every nickname is in reference to my height." I complained "It's not my fault I'm short."

Emmett laughed "What do you mean every nickname? Squirts the only one I call you."

"Someone else has started calling me Mini" I huffed.

"Who?" his curiosity was barley disguised.

"Jasper." I said without really thinking "He says it suits me cause I'm like a mini person."

"Oh yeah and who's Jasper?" he didn't even try to hide his curiosity this time.

"A guy at school. He just moved here from Texas."

"And why is this the first I'm hearing of him?"

I shrugged wandering to the kitchen to find something for my dinner. "We've only really become friends recently."

"So what's he like?" Emmett asked.

"He's nice." I replied, thinking of how he had stood up to Mike for me.

"When do I get to meet him?"

That threw me "Em….What?" I stammered.

Emmett sighed "Hey my baby sister mentions a guy I have to meet him, vet him and find out if he is worthy. So invite him over this weekend so I can interrogate him."

"No Em!" I cried "I know you, you'll end up scaring him off."

He laughed "That is the general idea Alice."

"I'm not inviting him over to receive the third degree from you." I stated.

"Ok." he said.

"Ok?" I asked cautiously, there had to be a catch somewhere.

"Yeah ok." I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Emmett what do you have planned?" I asked.

"No no nothing. If you don't want me to meet him that's totally fine Alice. It's your decision, he's your friend."

"Emmett." I whined.

He chuckled evilly "Ok, I'll let you decide, the lesser of two evils as it were. One you invite him over me and Rose meet and greet and decide if he is suitable to be your friend. Or two, you don't invite him round and I come to your school on Monday to find him myself."

I groaned loudly, it may sound extreme but I knew it was something Emmett would do.

"Rosalie will be there right?" I asked slowly.

"Yep." Emmett sang, popping the 'p'.

"Fine, I'll ask him if he wants to come round Saturday." I conceded, it was better than Emmett coming to the school.

The next day at school was weird, people seemed to notice me again no matter how hard I tried to blend in.

The only things that actually made it bearable was the fact Mike's gang still seemed to be licking their wounds after yesterdays altercation in the car park.

And, of course, I had Jasper now.

We only technically had one lesson together but we spent lunch together as well.

Today I took him to my little spot I'd discovered between two of the buildings. It was sheltered from the rain but it could get cold.

"God it's freezing!" Jasper complained hunching down into his coat.

"Actually it's quite mild today." I told him, he gave me an incredulous look.

"I'm from Texas Mini, for me this is freezing."

"We can go back inside if you want." I said standing up.

He seemed to think for a second "No, I prefer it here actually its quieter, less prying eyes."

I grinned and plopped back down beside him "I'll bring you a blanket tomorrow if you want." I teased.

"Or we could just share body heat." he grinned at me.

I laughed "There's not much of me to keep you warm."

He shifted next to me but didn't respond.

We ate for a bit and I decided now was as good a time as any to broach the topic of Emmett's request.

"I told my brother about you last night." I said keeping my eyes on my lunch "I didn't plan to, it just sort of slipped out but anyway he wants to meet you."

"Meet me?" he sounded confused.

I took a second to figure out how best to explain this "Em doesn't know exactly what goes on at school." I began "But he'd have to be an idiot not to realise I don't exactly have friends. You're the first person I've talked about in a long time and he's curious." I looked up to find him frowning "You don't have to if you don't want." I added quickly.

He shrugged "Well, when would I meet him?"

"Saturday night? Either I'll cook or we can get take out, then we just usually watch a movie or play video games or something, it's not overly exciting but if it sweetens the deal I promise I'll cook and Rosalie will be there so Emmett will be on his best behaviour, but like I said you don't have to he's just doing the whole big brother thing and being a pain in my ass, so you don't have to."

"Mini!" Jasper grabbed hold of my shoulders shutting me up "Saturday night, movie, video games, your cooking. Sounds great."

I giggled and bit my lip "I was babbling wasn't I?"

"Yeah you were." he chuckled.

I smiled happily up at him "Great, thanks."

Our eyes met as I beamed up at him, something flickered across his face and he quickly let go of my shoulders.

"No problem." he muttered turning back to his lunch.

That was weird.

I shrugged it off and turned back to finish off my own lunch trying to figure out how to make sure Em was on his best behaviour on Saturday, maybe I could use Rosalie to bribe him.

* * *

Jasper's pov

I arrived outside Alice's house at 5 o'clock on Saturday night feeling embarrassingly nervous.

A friend meeting her family wasn't such a big deal I know, but I was worried that Emmett would take one look at me and know exactly what kind of thoughts ran through my head whenever I was in close proximity to his sister.

Don't get me wrong I wasn't friends with Alice simply as a way to get into her pants, although I admit it would be an added bonus, I genuinely did like spending time with her as a person, a friend.

I knew that was all Alice saw me as, a friend, and sometimes I cursed my bodies natural reaction to her every time she smiled at me or giggled or was in the same room as me.

Taking several deep breaths I got out of my car and headed up to the front door.

I started as it opened before I reached it and I got my first proper look at Alice's brother in the flesh.

The first thought I had, the photos of him do not do his size justice!

It was hard to believe he and Alice shared DNA, size wise they could not have been more opposite.

I was over six foot but Emmett towered over me and he had the muscles of a body builder, Alice's waist was probably smaller than the top of his arm.

His eyes were narrowed as he watched me walk up the porch steps.

"Hi, I'm Jasper." I managed to say in a steady voice.

Emmett continued to just stare at me through narrowed eyes and I felt my palms get sweaty.

"Alice's friend right?" he asked slowly.

"That's right." I tried to smile but the muscles in my face didn't seem to want to cooperate.

He checked over his shoulder and stepped outside pulling the door closed, I swallowed thickly.

Oh god he knew, he was going to kill me.

"You hurt Alice in any way." he growled out in low voice "You make her cry, you upset her, you do anything that doesn't make her happy basically and I will quite happily break every bone in your body!"

All I could do was nod.

"Emmett McCarty!"

His entire demeanour changed as he turned to find Alice stood in the doorway, hands on her hips.

"What did I tell you?" she growled.

I watched in amazement as his face broke into a cheeky grin looking for all the world like a little boy being chastised by his mother.

The guy even had fucking dimples!

"Sorry squirt." he joked turning to grin at me, it was in that smile I could see the family resemblance "Sorry mate, couldn't resist." he laughed clapping me on the shoulder "But to his credit he didn't flinch."

With that he headed back inside leaving me feeling very confused.

I looked down at Alice.

"Sorry about that." she did look guilty "I didn't realise he was actually on the look out for your car."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"He was only joking though." she bit her lip. "The worst is over now I promise." she shuffled nervously.

"He's a lot bigger in person." I said as calmly as possible.

Alice giggled making me smile. I got a proper look at her and my dick sprang to life, oh fuck she was in a skirt!

_Not now_, I growled at myself, but I couldn't stop my eyes trailing down her exposed legs.

It was going to be a very long night!

She led me inside and through to the lounge.

"I suppose I should introduce you properly." she said "Em, Rose this is Jasper. Jasper that's obviously my idiot brother Emmett and his better half Rosalie."

Alice glared at Emmett again as Rosalie came forward with a friendly smile to shake my hand.

"Hi Jasper, it's nice to meet the guy Alice can't seem to shut up about." she grinned.

"Rosalie!" Alice whined her cheeks flushing.

I chuckled "Nice to meet you too."

I gave her a subtle once over, she was drop dead gorgeous. The kind of girl you see on the cover of sports illustrated swimsuit edition.

Her light blonde hair hung straight to halfway down her back and she had curves that even plastic surgery couldn't recreate.

Emmett was one lucky bastard!

Emmett bounded over to us, limitless energy seemed to be another family trait.

"Sorry about before." he grinned guiltily.

"No worries, I've had worse greetings." I held my hand out which he took firmly to shake seemingly impressed by my manners.

"Right, well Alice's is just finishing off the food, then you can join us in our weekly guitar hero knock out tournament."

"Sounds great, but just to warn you I was the guitar hero champion of Texas!"

Emmett's eyes lit up, he obviously liked a challenge.

"We shall see." he murmured.

I headed through into the kitchen to see if Alice needed a hand.

She cocked an eyebrow at me "After last time I think it's best if you just supervise."

"Fair enough." I seated myself at the breakfast bar again "What are you making anyway?"

"Grilled pork loin with homemade apple sauce and creamy mash." she reeled off like she was on master chef. "Hope you like it, it's Rosalie's favourite."

"Mini if you made it I'm sure, at the very least, I'll like it." I grinned.

She giggled happily.

We sat around the breakfast bar to eat and Emmett immediately started bombarding me with questions.

"So how did you end up in Forks?" he asked around a mouthful of potato.

"Emmett!" Alice glared at him again.

He shrugged innocently.

She gave me an apologetic look and I smiled to let her know it was ok.

"My parents got divorced and my mum got a job at Forks hospital." I explained.

Rosalie seemed more interested than I expected, or maybe she was just trying to stop Emmett asking me anything else.

"Who's your mum?" she asked.

"Esme Platt." I answered automatically. It's not like they'd know her.

"Platt?" Emmett asked frowning.

I smiled a little "Yeah after the divorce she took her maiden name, I would have too but Jasper Platt…"

Alice giggled then bit her lip to stop.

"Exactly." I said grinning at her.

"Sorry." she said still giggling.

"Don't be." I grinned "It really does sound stupid."

"And what do you have planned once you graduate?" Emmett jumped in with.

I tried to hide my smile, he had really taken on the role of both father and big brother.

"I want to go to collage." I said "But I'm not sure what I want to do yet, maybe Philosophy."

Emmett's eyebrows raised and I did a little victory dance in my head, he was impressed.

"What are you studying?" I asked curiously.

"Sports journalism." he answered with a grin "It's gonna give me the chance to get paid for watching football."

Rosalie rolled her eyes "That and I wouldn't let you watch it otherwise."

Emmett grinned "Come on Jasper back me up, you're a sports fan right?"

"Well." I said slowly, buying myself some time by eating something.

Alice's eyes sparkled as Rosalie folded her arms.

"I'm not an obsessive." I finally said "But I enjoy a game as much as the next man."Alice giggled "Sorry Rose looks like you're still on your own." she said sympathetically.

"One day I will find someone who has not been brainwashed." Rosalie huffed.

I turned to Alice "You're a sports fan?" I asked in surprise.

Emmett laughed "With me as her brother she didn't have much of a choice."

Alice shrugged "I love watching football and I really enjoy playing baseball."

I did a double take at that.

"Really?" I asked in complete disbelief.

"Yeah." she grinned "I love it, nothing serious of course."

I blinked several times, we had so much in common it was scary.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Like I said I'll watch any game, but I was on the baseball team at my old school." I admitted.

Alice met my eyes and I saw the same amazement in them that I was feeling.

As I looked back to my food I saw Rosalie had a small smile on her face as she looked between me and Alice.

"Me and Em will clean up." Rosalie announced when we'd finished.

Emmett groaned loudly but Rosalie glared at him.

"Alice cooked and Jasper is our guest." she said sternly.

The sound of a whiplash echoed in my head as I saw Emmett collect up the plates and follow Rose to the sink, but I wisely kept my mouth shut.

Alice led me back to the lounge guilt danced in her eyes.

"Ok, now the worst is over." she mumbled.

I chuckled at how bad she was feeling for me "Trust me Mini I've been through worse interrogations than that." I assured.

She gave me a small smile "Thanks Jazz, I really appreciate this and I'll make it up to you I swear."

She turned to start setting up the game station and my mouth got very dry as I thought about ways she could make this up to me, most of which involved her wearing a shorter version of that skirt.

I quickly took my eyes off her as I heard Emmett and Rosalie enter the room.

I hadn't been kidding about being good a guitar hero but it was clear this was a regular activity for the three of them and I had to employ all my skill to keep up.

The atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, I had been easily accepted into this little family and the thought made me smile.

It came down to me and Alice going head to head in the final, we were pretty evenly matched.

In the end I could see Alice was starting to struggle and threw the game letting her win.

If you repeat that I will personally hunt you down!

Her face broke into such a happy smile it was more than worth the ribbing I got from Emmett.

"Ha, you got beat by a girl." he laughed.

I raised an eyebrow "At least I made the final." I shot back successfully shutting him up.

"I won." Alice sang doing a little victory dance.

Oh yeah, it was more than worth it.

I looked over to see Rosalie giving me a knowing smile which unnerved me a little.

"It's getting late." was all she said when our eyes met.

Alice walked me to the door still smiling happily.

"Thank you." she said before stretching up to give me a hug.

The second her body pressed against mine the world faded around me. I took a deep breath to try and stay in control but all I could smell was her.

I had to fight down every urge to bury my face in her hair inhaling her sweet scent.

My arms came up to return the embrace and I had no idea if I'd ever get them to let go.

Her head was tilted slightly exposing the tantalising flesh on her neck just begging to be kissed.

I was actually lowering my lips to it when she pulled back.

Her smile was still in place gratitude shining in her eyes.

She had no idea what she did to me.

"Night Jazz." she giggled stepping out of my arms.

"Night." was all I managed to choke out before fleeing to the safety of my car.

I tried to take deep breaths but her scent clung to me.

I groaned, another night I'd be trying to sleep with a fucking hard on!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my two best reviewers Luke's Momma and sora kinomoto**

**Thanks for all the support guys. I love ya. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Family life**

Jasper's pov

I was awake ridiculously early on Sunday morning, I just could not sleep.

I flipped through the TV keeping the volume down so I wouldn't wake my mum and ended up watching some documentary on the civil war.

I was just dozing off when I heard the front door open and bolted upright in surprise.

My mouth dropped open in shock as I saw my mum walking in.

She froze when she saw me and her face flushed red.

"Morning." she squeaked making a sudden dash for her room.

"Stop." I called making her freeze again "Turn." she turned to face me avoiding my eyes "Explain."

"Look Jasper, it's not what it looks like. I'm sorry honey I thought you'd still be asleep." she did look guilty.

"It's not what it looks like?" I smirked "That's a shame cause it looks like someone got lucky last night!"

Her cheeks burned "Jasper Whitlock!"

"Ok, ok." I put my hands up in surrender "Go, change, compose yourself, get your story straight." I grinned "Then I want details."

She made my favourite pancakes for breakfast, a sure sign she felt bad and was trying to make it up to me.

"Did you have fun last night?" she asked as we sat down to eat.

I rolled my eyes "Yeah I had fun. We played video games. Now enough stalling, did you have fun last night?"

She sighed playing with her food.

"Am I being really stupid?" she asked making me frown.

"About what?" I asked softly.

She put her cutlery down and looked right at me "Jasper how would you feel if I started dating someone?"

I took a moment to think over what she was asking me.

"I'd feel relieved." I finally said slowly.

She gave me a weird look "Relieved?"

"Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong it's weird and it will take some getting used to but." I paused "He's the one that messed up mum, not you. I mean dads getting married to a girl young enough to be his daughter, nothing you do will be a bigger head fuck than that."

Her eyes flashed "Language Jasper!"

"Sorry." I sighed looking down at my food. "I want you to be happy." I shrugged "I want you to be ok, I want you to get over him. So yeah if you started seeing someone I'd be relieved."

"Nothing did happen last night." she stated again.

"Mum you're a grown women you can do what you want." I said not really wanting to have to think about my mums sex life.

"A group of people from the hospital went out and I did end up going back to Doctor Cullen's house but we just talked. I mean all night we just talked, I didn't even realise the time."

She had a small smile on her face and her eyes were glazed over.

"You've got it bad." I teased.

She snapped out of her daydreams and grinned shyly at me.

"He's really nice." she mumbled.

"He'd better be." I warned "Cause if he doesn't treat you right I'll break his kneecaps!"

"Jasper." she reprimanded but she was still smiling "This really doesn't bother you?"

"I'm not a kid mum. I realise you and dad are never gonna get back together, and to be honest I don't want you to. You deserve better than him, you deserve to be happy." I shrugged "And if this Doctor Cullen guy makes you happy, go for it."

"Thank you Jasper." she came around the table to hug me.

"Mum." I scowled, this had been an emotional moment and it was starting to embarrass me.

"We'll be alright you and me." she murmured placing a kiss on my forehead.

I nodded relieved when she let me go.

Those had been the same words she'd said to me the day we left Texas and so far we had been fine.

We ate in silence for a while.

"What would you think if I started dating someone?" I asked after a while.

I glance up to find her smiling sadly at me.

"Jasper you don't date." she said softly "You 'mess around' with girls." she sighed sadly looking back at her plate "You're like…"

"I am not him!" I growled angrily.

She smiled sadly again "I know honey, you're a better man than him but he has been a strong influence in your life."

I was glaring at my plate breathing heavily in anger.

"You have never treated a girl disrespectfully and I know you never will. You don't promise them things you wont deliver and always make sure they know what your intentions are but you don't date. I haven't know you be with the same girl for longer than a week."

"Make me sound like a total bastard mum!" I growled.

"Language." she reprimanded again.

I scowled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like that." she said with a heavy sigh.

Pushing away from the table I turned and stormed off to my room in tantrum mode.

"Jasper I'm sorry." she called out.

I slammed my door wincing slightly at the loud bang echoed through the house.

The thing that was bothering me most was knowing my mum was right. I'd never dated a girl in my life.

"_Keeping your options open, never get tied down at a young age son have some fun."_

My dads voice sounded in my head making me feel sick.

Mum was right, to a certain extent I'd wanted to be just like him. I remembered the stories he'd told me about his life before he met my mum.

A different girl every week, drunken debauchery in hotel rooms during corporate trips.

The fast track lifestyle, it had all sounded so glamorous, so exciting.

He'd been proud of the way I acted and I had liked that.

An unquenchable desire to break something rose up in me.

The ring of my phone stopped me.

"Hey Jazz." Alice's sweet voice giggled down the line to me.

The tension and anger flowed out of me and I smiled.

"Hey Mini." I laughed back "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just felt like calling, thanks again for last night."

"It's fine I enjoyed myself, although I will be holding you to the 'you owe me'" I teased my imagination kicking into overdrive "What are you up to today?"

"Em's got some studying he needs to do, AKA there's a game on he wants to watch." she giggled "So Rose is dragging me shopping in Port Angeles."

"Sounds like fun." my voice gave me away.

"Oh, you enjoy shopping do you?" she teased me.

"Well no I don't." I admitted "But I hear girls do."

In my mind I could see her roll her eyes.

"That's incredibly sexist Jazz! I was going to ask if you wanted to come but I don't think I will now."

A strange combination of regret and relief welled up in me.

"Oh no. How will I cope?" I chuckled sarcastically, whilst at the same time feeling sad I wouldn't get to sped the day with her.

"I'm sure you'll survive, I gotta go. See you tomorrow Jazz."

"By Mini." I said reluctantly hanging up.

I flopped onto my bed with a sigh, now what was I meant to do?

I had a feeling being friends with Alice would mean being very bored most weekends.

I didn't want to break into her time with Emmett, but at the same time I wanted to spend time with her.

My mum knocked on the door "Jasper." she called tentatively.

Thanks to my little chat with Alice I was a lot calmer.

"Come in." I told her.

"I am sorry Jasper." she said coming to sit on my bed next to me.

I sat up.

"I know. I just got mad cause I know you're right. I wanted to be just like him, I thought he was so cool!" I scoffed.

"He's your father Jasper, every boy wants to believe their father is a hero. He was a good man, he just made a mistake."

The anger returned "That's an understatement." I hissed.

"Jasper you can't stay mad at him forever." she sighed sadly "You have to forgive him at some point."

I looked at her incredulously "Please tell me you haven't forgiven him?"

She shrugged "I haven't forgiven him Jasper but I just don't have the energy to be mad anymore. It's over and if I'm ever going to move on I have to let it go, and so do you."

I shook my head angrily "You got so mad when I took that damn car!"

"I know I did."

"So what happened?" I tried so hard not to yell at her.

"He called me at work yesterday." she said slowly "He wanted your phone number, he wanted to talk to you."

My mouth actually dropped open.

"And what did you say?" I asked slowly.

"I got his number and told him I'd talk to you, but not to expect anything." she held out a slip of paper with a number on it.

I took it screwed it up and flung it in the bin.

Sighing she stood and headed to the door.

"If you change your mind I have it written down." she told me.

"I have nothing to say to him mum." I said.

Well that wasn't strictly true, there was one thing I could tell him.

"Four weeks, it's taken him four weeks to realise I can't contact him, to make an effort to actually talk to me, see how I'm doing?"

"I guess he's been busy."

"Stop making excuses for him." I roared at her.

She shook her head and left me alone without a word.

My desire to break something rose again.

Grabbing my phone I dialled Alice's number only for it to go straight to voicemail.

I flopped back to the bed, looks like I had the rest of the day to stew over my fucked up life.

* * *

Alice's pov

I wanted to watch the game with Em, but the appeal of shopping was too strong and it was nice to get some girl time.

I drove us to Port Angeles, me and Rose singing along loudly to Lady Gaga.

Rose was looking for something nice to wear when Em took her out next week, so I spent most of the day trying on things I'd never wear.

"That one's nice." Rosalie said as I came out in a red satin strapless cocktail dress, the hem hit mid-thigh with a fitted drop waist and puffy bubble skirt, a black ribbon tied around the middle.

I twirled around, it was nice and it suited me.

"I'd never wear it Rose." I turned to head back into the dressing room to take it off but she stopped me.

"Hold on a sec." she darted out of the dressing room.

I turned again, it really was a nice dress but I'd never have an opportunity to wear it.

"Here." Rose returned handing me a pair of black strapy stilettos "Try them."

I rolled my eyes but humoured her.

The heels did make a big difference.

"Wow Alice where have you been hiding those legs." Rose teased.

"Funny, but we're meant to be looking for you, you're the one who has somewhere to wear dresses to."

Rosalie laughed "Are you sure?" she teased making me frown "Alice just buy it, it's not that much and one day you're going to need a dress like this."

I chewed my lip, I did look good.

"If you and Jasper ever go anywhere." She pushed.

My confusion disappeared and I rolled my eyes "We're just friends Rosalie." I said "We wouldn't be going anywhere I could wear this." I gestured at myself.

"You never know." Rosalie stood behind me her hands on my shoulders as we both stared at my reflection in the mirror.

I shook my head slowly "You found anything you like?" I asked trying to take the attention off me.

Rosalie smiled "Yeah, I'm going for the good old reliable little black dress, and you should buy that."

She gave me a glare as I went to get changed but my mind was focused on other things.

Of course me and Jasper were just friends, it's not like he'd ever want more from me.

Did I want more from him?

That question took me completely off guard.

I shook my head angrily as I thought about it, there was no point even considering that path it would only lead to more pain in the end.

I should be grateful he even wanted to be friends and leave it at that.

I ended up buying the dress and the shoes, which I knew was a complete waste of money.

Maybe I'd be able to return them during the week.

As though she knew what I was thinking Rosalie pulled the sales tags off the second we sat down for a refuel.

She smiled smugly at me as I scowled.

"You'll thank me for it." she said taking a sip of her skinny latte.

We lapsed into silence as I drank some of my hot chocolate.

"You're pretty certain you and Jasper are just friends." she prodded again making me think Emmett had put her up to this.

"We are just friends Rose." I sighed.

I wished she'd just drop it because I didn't like the direction my thoughts were heading.

"It's not like he'll ever see me as more than that." I bit my lip realising I'd said that out loud.

Rose sighed softly.

"Oh Alice." she sighed softly.

I shrugged keeping my eyes on my hot chocolate.

"Alice you know you can talk to me don't you." her voice was warm and genuine.

I nodded still not looking at her.

"Me and Emmett aren't stupid you know." she carried on softly "Jasper's the first person you've ever really mentioned."

Tears stung my eyes.

"Rose." I begged trying to get her to stop.

"Talk to me." she whispered.

I shook my head stubbornly, I could deal with this I didn't want Emmett worrying over me more. He had his own life to lead.

She sighed heavily

"What do you want me to say?" I asked still keeping my eyes down.

"Well, why do you think Jasper wouldn't want more than to just be friends?"

Was she serious?

I looked up at her "I just don't think he would. I don't know if I do. I hadn't even thought about it until you said."

She smiled gently "Sorry it's just, you're 16 and this guy obviously means something to you. I guess we just jumped to conclusions."

I knew it!

"Emmett put you up to this." I scowled.

Rosalie laughed "He's your big brother Alice." she said, like that excused all his behaviour.

I huffed folding my arms in annoyance.

"If it's any consolation I think Jasper is a good guy and a good friend and luckily for you my opinion holds some sway over Emmett."

"Thanks Rose." I mumbled finishing off my drink.

When we got home I headed upstairs to hang up the clothes I'd brought.

I admired the dress again and thought at the very least it would do as a dress for junior prom.

When I got back downstairs I found Emmett stood in the lounge a determined look on his face.

"Em please don't." Rosalie sighed but he appeared to ignore her.

"Alice sit down." he indicated the sofa and sat beside me.

I threw a confused look at Rose who gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Alice." Emmett spoke up bringing my attention back to him "I think it's time we had a talk about boys and…stuff."

Oh please tell me this isn't happening!

Was he really going to try and give me the sex talk?

"Emmett." I stopped unsure what to say "Please don't." I repeated Rosalie's words.

"Look this isn't exactly fun for me either." he said looking anywhere but me "But it's not something I can ignore."

I leapt up "We're just friends." I shouted completely unable to deal with this as my mind took me to a place and time I would rather forget.

"Please Em, please if I mean anything to you please don't do this to me." I begged.

I knew I seemed to be overreacting but having the sex talk from Em was only half the problem.

The truth was the idea of sex in general terrified me.

I wasn't naïve I knew about it, I'd had sex education at school. My mum had had the talk with me, and hell I watched TV.

I knew myself well enough to know it was something I wasn't ready for yet and I didn't want these thoughts running wild in my head when I spent time with Jasper.

I had been pressured into doing something I wasn't ready for once and talking about sex made it seem like something that was going to happen and, I knew it was stupid, but I wasn't ready to accept that.

"Ok." Emmett seemed relieved to let it go "But if you ever do want to talk about…it."

"I will talk to Rose." I stated firmly, there were just some things I would not be able to share with Em "I'm going to go make dinner." I said making a quick escape to the kitchen.

Once again the seed was planted in my head, as I tried desperately to push back the memories I didn't want to think about. But I couldn't stop thinking, I'd made a mistake once before. Could I be doing the same again with Jasper?

It would make sense for them to use the new boy.

I shook my head, no I refused to believe that, Jasper was different.

I didn't need to worry about any of this because we were just friends, that was all it was and I was making a big deal out of nothing.

Needless to say dinner that night was awkward and for the first time I was actually ok saying my goodbyes to Em and Rose before I went to bed, knowing when Jasper next came around it would just be the two of us.

No pressure, no stress, no interference, no interrogations, nothing but us.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

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**Ok bit of a filler chapter really but hopefully I will have the next chapter up over the weekend.**

**Reviews equal love! xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: ****I do own two copies of the book but the actual rights to Twilight are not mine.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love you all.**

**And I am in such a good mood with the nice weather I am giving you all another chapter. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Moving forward**

Alice's pov

Monday dawned rather ominously, the sky filled with black storm clouds.

As if to show just how bad my day was going to be Lauren cornered me on the way to homeroom.

"You stay away from him." she hissed glaring down at me.

My back was pressed painfully to my locker and I tried to keep my breathing steady.

"Do you understand, all you're doing is ruining his life."

I just stood there while she ranted at me.

"Are you listening to me McCarty?"

I nodded quickly.

"Then you stay away from him you little freak because he is so much better than you."

Someone cleared their throat loudly behind her and she turned away from me revealing Jasper glaring down at her.

Without taking his eyes off Lauren he reached past her to take my hand and pulled me to his side, turning without a word he strode off down the corridor dragging me with him.

"I have homeroom." I stammered trying to break free of his iron grip "Jasper." I called as he pulled me all the way out into the car park and over to his car.

"Get in." he said his voice low.

I glanced back at the school nervously, I had never ditched class before.

_You only live once._

My mums motto flashed in my head and I yanked open the door climbing in. The second the door was closed behind me Jasper revved the engine loudly and shot out of the car park.

I yelped in surprise at his speed and quickly pulled my seatbelt around me.

Glancing over I saw Jasper's whole body was tense, his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel and his eyes burned with repressed anger as he stared ahead at the road.

I curled up in my seat and stared out the rain streaked window wondering where the hell we were going and what the hell I was doing.

We ended up on a cliff top overlooking first beach down at La Push.

Jasper killed the engine, he still hadn't said a word to me.

His head suddenly snapped round, his blue eyes locked onto mine.

"Don't listen to a word that bitch says." his voice shook slightly "I am not better than you, if anything you're a better person than me."

He sighed running a hand through his tousled hair.

The only thing I could think of to say was.

"We're ditching school!"

Jasper chuckled softly "Yeah, I'm a bad influence." He looked over at me "You want to go back?"

I thought long and hard about that and shook my head "No I don't."

I looked back through the windshield, the rain was falling heavily and the view was distorted.

"I love the rain." I murmured almost to myself a smile formed on my face.

"Really?" Jasper asked in disbelief "I hate it, it's cold and wet."

Giggling I threw my schoolbag onto the back seat and stripped out of my raincoat. Grinning mischievously I turned to Jasper.

"So you've never gone for a walk in the rain?" I asked.

"Well I go for a run nearly every morning and ninety percent of the time it's raining, if that counts." he said.

I shook my head "Come on, and lose the raincoat."

"Mini." he whined in the most pathetic way "It's cold and wet!"

I shrugged "Suit yourself."

With that I hopped out the car into the downpour twirling around as the raindrops danced around me.

Less that a minute I was soaked through, my short hair was plastered to my head and my jeans and sweater felt heavy from the amount of water they'd absorbed.

"You're insane." I heard Jasper call his tone filled with amusement.

"It's just rain." I yelled back "You're a wimp!"

As I'd hoped that taunt got him out of the car. He came to stand next to me arms wrapped around himself, his face scrunched up in dislike as the rain slowly soaked him darkening his honey blonde hair.

"So this is fun?" he asked.

With a laugh I grabbed his hand, it was still warm in comparison to mine and it felt nice as his fingers closed encompassing my hand completely.

"Come on."

I led him down onto the beach and over to a small sheltered area by the cliff side.

"This is Washington State, you need to get used to the rain." I told him.

I left him huddled in the sheltered cove and moved so I could sit on a small rock. Closing my eyes I tilted my head upwards so the raindrops bounced off my face.

"You really are insane. Please come out of the rain." he begged a little "It's actually making me feel ill watching you."

I giggled and moved to join him shaking my head like a wet dog.

His arms went up to ward off the water droplets making me giggle again.

My clothes were literally dripping wet and I bit my lip guiltily.

"Sorry I didn't think, we're going to ruin your car."

His eyes lit up a little "That's ok."

I cocked my head to the side questioningly "It's brand new." I pointed out.

He just shrugged unconcerned "As long as I can still drive it I don't care what damage befalls it."

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"It's just a car. An inanimate object that doesn't mean all that much to me."

I chewed on my lip thoughtfully "My car means the world to me." I admitted "but I suppose it's because my dad brought it for me."

Jasper snorted "Yeah well that's the reason my car means fuck all to me."

I looked up at him, a hard look had come over his face similar to the look he'd had this morning when he'd been looking at Lauren.

I decided not to push the topic.

"Are we going to get in trouble for ditching?" I asked instead.

"Probably." Jasper looked over at me "You bothered?"

"A little." I admitted "Will it cause trouble for Em? You know with him being my guardian."

Jasper smiled softly "No, if this is the first time you've ditched you'll just get a warning. We may even get lucky and no one notices."

"I'm sure Lauren will point it out." I mumbled.

Jasper suddenly grabbed my shoulders forcing me to look at him.

"You're gonna ignore her right, what she said this morning was shit ok."

I nodded quickly the look of desperation on his face unnerving me, his blue eyes burned into mine.

"I don't think I could stay away even if I wanted to." my eyes widened as I heard myself say that.

What was it about this guy that made the filter in my brain shut down?

My cheeks burned and I broke eye contact looking down at the floor.

He chuckled softly "Good." he murmured.

His hands trailed down my arms slowly as he relaxed his grip on my shoulders and my stomach somersaulted.

I shivered as he broke contact, the chill from the rain setting in.

"Come on we need to dry off." Jasper led the way back to his car.

I spread my coat over the seat as we got back, despite what Jasper had said I didn't want to ruin his car seat.

He shook his head as he watched me but didn't say anything.

We ended up back at my house and I grabbed a towel for Jasper and rooted out some of Emmett's old clothes for him to wear whilst his dried out.

"We can still make afternoon classes if you want." he said once we were dried and sitting in the kitchen eating BLT's.

I shrugged not really bothered then realised I had to pick my car up.

"It's up to you." I told him.

Jasper chuckled "In that case we'll stay here."

"You really are a bad influence." I giggled.

Jasper leant forward towards me and my heart began to beat frantically.

"Seeing as how we're staying here will you do something for me?" he asked.

I nodded dumbly "I owe you remember." I pointed out.

Jasper smirked for a second before his face softened "Will you play me something, on your guitar."

I gasped in shock, I had not been expecting that.

"I…I don't know." I stammered.

"Ok." he said sitting back "You want to watch a movie or something?"

I looked down at the counter and swallowed.

"You really want me to play something?" I asked slowly.

"Only if you're ready to." he replied softly.

Without another word I headed into the lounge and pulled my guitar out, the second the strap was on my shoulder and the familiar weight in my hands the tears came chocking me.

"I can't." I sobbed feeling really pathetic.

"It's ok." Jasper murmured soothingly taking the guitar off me and putting it away.

"God I'm so stupid!" I moaned my hands coming up to cover my face.

"No you're grieving." Jasper said softly wrapping an arm around my shoulder "It's a process Mini, it takes time and you shouldn't try and rush it. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."

As usual he knew just what to say to make me feel better and I turned to wrap my arms around his middle hugging him tight.

"I'll play you something one day I promise." I swore to him.

We didn't end up watching a movie, we spent most of the day chatting.

Jasper took me to pick up my car later. His eyes narrowed in anger when he saw the eggshells scattered around it but I just burst out laughing.

"You think it's funny?" he asked.

I tried to get my laughter under control "They tried to egg my car when it's raining." I gasped out "I think it's hilarious."

Jasper took a second to look over my car and saw that anything that had been on there had been washed away by the rain and joined in my laughter.

* * *

Jasper's pov

The rest of the week past uneventfully.

Lauren was thankfully keeping her distance, though she still shot Alice the odd glare.

We had been incredibly lucky and hadn't been found out for ditching on Monday.

The only fly in the ointment, as it were, were my ever increasing feelings for Alice which were making it very difficult for me to be close to her.

I'd been around her house twice this week for dinner and both times I'd had to grab hold of something to physically stop myself from pushing her against the closest wall and getting the chance to finally feel her lips against mine.

Saturday nights it seemed were going to turn into some form of weekly torture, not only having to behave myself around Alice, but with the added stress of having Emmett and Rose watching my every move.

Luckily this week they had gone out for the night leaving me and Alice alone, not the smartest move.

Alice had pulled the sleeper sofa out so we were currently lying on it watching a movie.

Our chosen movie was Saw and I soon found out Alice wasn't great with horror as she turned to bury her head in my shoulder at the first sight of gore.

I had no idea what was going on in the film, all I was really aware of was I was sharing a bed, sort of, with Alice my arm wrapped around her as she hid her face in my chest.

The gentleman in me wanted to suggest putting another film on as this one was clearly distressing her but it was quickly silenced by the horny teenager who was enjoying any excuse to have her in my arms.

Eventually the credits began to roll and Alice hopped up to switch the lights back on.

I pouted at the loss of her from my arms.

"I really should learn I hate horror films." she muttered "I'm going to end up having nightmares now."

I grinned up at her cheekily "I could always stay and keep you safe."

She just rolled her eyes "I'm sure you don't want to waste your nights watching me sleep."

_Don't think about that, don't think about that._

I coached myself sitting up to hide the bulge straining in my pants.

This girl was seriously killing me!

"It's getting late." Alice announced, completely oblivious to the fact I was seriously close to dragging her back to the sofa and having my way with her here and now.

_Calm down caveman!_

I shrugged "It's a weekend, and besides I don't think I should leave you alone after that movie. This beds pulled out, if Em and Rose are really late I can crash here."

She grinned happily "Ok, what did you want to watch now?"

"Your choice." I told her to stop myself suggesting another horror film so I could hold her again.

"You may regret that." she grinned evilly and loaded a dvd.

Hopping back up to join me her whole face alight with mischief I gripped the arm of the sofa tightly keeping myself still.

She shot a guilty look at the screen, I turned to look and groaned when the menu came on showing me her chosen film.

She giggled "Told you you'd be sorry, it's my guilty pleasure." she pressed play and I sighed resigning myself to two hours of mind numbing boredom courtesy of Marley and me.

At least I could entertain myself by watching Alice instead.

She wriggled down next to me getting comfy a contented smile on her face.

She was fascinating, her eyes shining as she watched the film occasionally letting out a cute giggle when she thought something was funny.

I didn't even realise how obvious I was being in my viewing until her eyes flickered away from the screen catching me.

"You must really hate this movie if you think I'm more interesting to watch." she grinned at me.

I blinked but quickly regained my composure. I shrugged.

"I'm just fascinated anyone can enjoy it so much."

She pouted at me, her full bottom lip just begging to be kissed "Shut up, it's got a cute dog in it!"

That made me chuckle.

"Tell you what." she said her eyes sparkling as an idea caught her "If you can find a way to distract me from the dog I'll turn it off."

Oh she was making this too easy.

I jumped at the challenge, as did little Jay as my mind flew to the one thing I wanted to do more than anything. Something that would defiantly take her mind off some stupid dog!

"Too easy." I mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow "Really?!"

Turning she sat up crossing her legs and stared determinedly at the TV screen.

My hands leapt to her waist she jumped but kept her focus on the screen until I started tickling her. She let out a shriek trying to wriggle away but my arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back, I quickly moved to straddle her pinning her down.

I had had every intention of keeping this innocent and friendly but seeing her pinned beneath me killed that. I slowly leant down to bring my lips to hers, her eyes widened and at the last second she turned her head away.

"Alice." I mumbled.

I felt her breathing pick up, her chest rising and falling quickly beneath me.

"You win, I'll turn it off." her voice shook a little.

A lead weight dropped into my stomach as I slowly climbed off her, it may seem arrogant but I'd never been rejected before and it hurt!

She was chewing her lip as she switched off the dvd.

"Alice I'm sorry. It's just, I've been wanting to do that for a long time." I admitted.

She turned to look at me her eyes wary.

"I like you." I confessed unable to keep it in any more. "As more than a friend."

I wanted to roll my eyes at how bad I was saying this.

"Do you mean that?" she asked slowly.

I nodded beckoning her to join me on the sofa again, slowly she sat back down.

My hand went to cup her cheek as our eyes locked and I leant in for a kiss again stopping when I felt her pull back.

"If this is a trick you can stop now." she said her eyes screwed shut tight.

I frowned "What?"

"I really like you Jasper and it will be humiliating enough, it will hurt enough so if this is some prank please just stop it now, please don't take it further. This is enough ok."

I blinked stupidly for several seconds trying to understand what she was saying to me.

When I couldn't manage it I just asked "What?"

She opened her eyes to look at me apprehensively and took a deep breath.

"Just tell them all it worked." she chocked out tears burning in her eyes "I fell for it. Again."

"Wait you think this is some prank?"

_Well obviously Jasper she just said that!_

"Wouldn't be the first time." she spat pulling back so my hand fell limply to my side "You win, I feel like an idiot."

White hot rage burnt through every inch of me as I finally understood what she was saying.

Those…… I couldn't even think of a word to describe them. Had tricked her into believing someone liked her only to break her when it turned out they didn't. my breath was coming out in sharp pants as I fought to gain control.

"Alice." I looked down at her, tears were flowing down her cheeks and her usual bright green eyes were dulled in pain.

I wanted to beat the crap out of whatever worthless piece of shit had made her feel like this.

Gently I took her face between my hands using my thumbs to wipe away the tears.

"I'm not trying to trick you Mini." I whispered "I'd never hurt you like that I swear. I truly do like you, you're sweet and caring and funny and beautiful."

Her eyes locked on mine and my train of thought fluttered beyond my grasp as I got lost in them.

For the third time I slowly leant forward, Alice didn't move and I finally pressed my lips softly to hers once before pulling back.

I wasn't going to rush her I told myself sternly trying to calm little Jay as he pushed against the fabric of my jeans in a desperate attempt to get free and burry himself in her warmth.

Alice was gazing up at me, tears still shone in her eyes. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and I couldn't stop leaning in again.

So much for not rushing her. My mind laughed at me as I gently caressed her sweet full lips with mine.

I had every intention of being a gentleman, but it was one thing to tell myself that and another to put it into practice when she was here in my arms kissing me back.

Her scent filled my head blurring my senses. Her lips moving with mine, I let my tongue dart out to taste her lips, she gasped her mouth opening just enough for me to slip my tongue inside.

All conscious thought faded, I was lost to her. My hands slowly ran down her sides as I moved us slightly so she was lying down beneath me.

Our kiss continued and I let my tongue explore her mouth loving the taste of her, teasing her tongue I gently coaxed it to come and play.

I wanted so much more. I wanted to taste every inch of her to find out if her skin tasted as good as she smelt. I wanted to feel her skin on skin, I hated the clothes that formed a barrier between us. I wanted to hear her moaning and whimpering under me watching her writhing in pleasure.

But above all that I wanted to make her feel good, I wanted her to know that someone cared about her, I wanted her to scream out as I gave her more pleasure than she thought she could handle and I wanted to make her forget all the pain and heartache she'd ever suffered.

Yet despite how much I wanted to give her, how much I wanted from her I could not move past this kiss.

My hands ran up and down her sides slowly, I couldn't seem to make them move either under her shirt or over her chest.

Her fingers were tangled in my hair pulling gently on it in a way that was driving me insane.

My dick was throbbing with the need to be inside her yet I couldn't bring myself to listen to it.

The need for oxygen finally forced me to remove my lips from hers.

Panting slightly I realised at some point I had moved to straddle her again.

I looked down into her face drinking in the sight of her.

Her cheeks were flushed, her lips parted slightly as she breathed deeply looking very well kissed. But as usual it was her eyes that drew me in, the sparkle had returned to them and they shone bright green.

We just stared into each others eyes for a while no words needed as we both regained our breath after the heavy make out session.

I moved so I was lying next to her holding myself up on my forearm.

As my breathing calmed I leant down placing little pecks on her lips, savouring this moment. I moved my head a little and ran my nose down her neck inhaling her unique scent.

"Jasper." her quiet voice made me sit up to gaze down into her face.

She was chewing her lips nervously and it took everything I had not to take over, her eyes flickered over my face before locking onto mine.

"Don't hurt me ok." she begged a little "I just can't handle any more right now."

There was a strange ache in my chest as though someone was squeezing my heart in a vice.

I brought my hand up to softly stroke her cheek, still damp with her tears.

"I promise Alice. I will never hurt you." I swore.

My raging hormones fluttered away as she took in a deep shaky breath.

I rolled onto my back pulling her with me so her head was nestled on my chest my arms wrapped tight around her.

"Now we've still got half a movie left to watch." I said resuming play.

Alice smiled up at me snuggling into my arms more as her attention returned to the TV.

I placed a soft kiss on top of her head feeling happier and more content than I can ever remember being.

* * *

**Reviews make me write faster. xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: ****My name is not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to all of you wonderful people who reviewed, this chapter is for you. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Changes and limits**

Jasper's pov

I was quite literally walking on cloud nine for the rest of the weekend.

Something my mum was quick to pick up on as she wandered into the kitchen on Sunday morning to find me trying to figure out how to work the coffee machine.

"What are you doing?" she asked her tone worried.

"I was trying to make you a coffee but I think it's broke." I said making her laugh.

She walked over taking over and had the thing sorted in less than a minute.

"I'm so useless." I moaned, I'd never be able to cope on my own like Alice did.

I felt really sad realising I'd never be able to treat her by cooking her dinner or something.

"Why were you trying to make coffee?" mum asked curiously.

I shrugged "I was just trying to be nice." I mumbled.

"Jasper what did you do?" she asked sternly.

I rolled my eyes "Nothing mum I swear. I was just trying to do something nice."

She gave me a hard look then shook her hair.

"Ok I'll believe you. But something must have happened last night to put you in such a good mood." she pushed.

I shrugged trying to be nonchalant but felt a give away smile spread across my face.

Yeah I think something happened last night!

"Jasper?" she asked.

"Yeah." I looked up innocently.

"What happened?" she asked, although I could see apprehension on her face like she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to know.

"Nothing bad happened." I assured though it didn't seem to convince her.

Thankfully she dropped the subject "If you wanted to learn how to work the coffee machine all you had to do was ask."

She showed me the machine smiling as I took it all in, I wasn't sure if Alice even drank coffee but I had to start somewhere.

"Does this good mood have to do with Alice?" she pushed again as I watched her make scrambled eggs trying to pick up how to do it.

"Yeah." I admitted, every good mood had to do with Alice. Ever since she'd come into my life all the bad shit just didn't seem to matter as much.

Mum kept pushing for details as we ate breakfast and in the end I had to escape.

"I'm going for a shower." I shot up making a hasty retreat to the bathroom.

I managed to avoid her for the rest of the morning under the pretence of doing homework, although I spent most of the time texting Alice.

The sound of the doorbell and a male voice finally pulled me from my room around midday.

I frowned as I walked into the lounge and heard my mum giggling in a very girly way.

I looked over at the well built blonde man standing next to her and felt my eyes narrow slightly as his hand came up to squeeze her shoulder lightly as they shared some joke.

He was the first to notice my presence and smiled warmly.

"This must be Jasper." he strode over to shake my hand "Your mum's told me a lot about you. I'm Doctor Cullen, but most people call me Carlisle."

I was a little taken back by his open friendly manner, looking over at my mum I saw her cheeks had stained a light pink and grinned evilly.

"Oh, so you're Doctor Cullen. It's nice to finally put a face to the name." I stepped back and frowned "You're not what I expected."

Mum shot me a warning look and I decided not to push it realising, if things continued the way they were, mum would be wanting to meet Alice at some point and I didn't want this to come back and bite me on the ass.

"Well it's nice to meet you." I said.

"Ok you are being far to nice today." my mum burst out "You have defiantly done something."

Doctor Cullen hid his smile as I rolled my eyes.

"Well if you want me to be horrible to him I can be." I told her moving past them into the kitchen so I could find something to eat.

This was weird and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

I know I told my mum I'd be ok with her dating and I was, but it was weird actually seeing it happen.

"What are you looking for?" my mum asked as they followed me.

"Food." I answered.

"Well obviously." she snapped.

I scowled, she was pissed about something, guess she hadn't planned on me meeting Doctor Cullen like this.

Yes I was refusing to call him Carlisle.

"Well I was just going to invite your mum out for lunch, you can join us if you want." Doctor Cullen spoke up.

"I'm not much into being a gooseberry!" I mumbled.

"Jasper!" my mum snapped "Can I talk to you for a second."

I sighed heavily and followed her back into the lounge.

"Look I know this has been sprung on you a little but…"

I cut her off "Mum, I'm trying to be nice. You know I'm ok with this but that doesn't mean it's not weird. I mean what the hell am I mean to say to him? If you want to go to lunch with him that's fine but I don't really relish the idea of trying to eat whilst watching some guy hit on my mum."

Her eyes fell to the floor "I really like him Jasper, can you please try. For me."

I groaned loudly, if I'm honest I hadn't really considered the fact mum dating would really impact on my life in any way.

"He wants to get to know you." she pressed a little.

"Ok fine, but if this turns out to be excruciatingly awkward don't blame me."

It wasn't actually that bad.

Doctor Cullen was nice enough, he asked mainly about school and my plans for college.

The worst thing was how much I wanted to check my phone knowing I had messages from Alice, but I knew my mum would find that rude and I was trying to make an effort for her.

I got my chance to sneak a quick look when they started talking about stuff at the hospital.

I smiled as I read Alice's words and unfortunately that gave me away.

"Jasper!" my eyes snapped up to find my mum with a pissed off look on her face.

Oops.

"Yeah?" I asked acting innocent and failing miserably.

"Put the phone away." she ordered.

Scowling I put it back in my pocket, I hadn't even had time to reply.

"Sorry, he seems to forget his manners when his minds on a girl." my mum apologised for me making my scowl deepen.

Doctor Cullen waved it off "Don't worry about it. Who's the lucky lady?" he asked me.

Not a conversation I wanted to have with my mums boyfriend!

"Alice McCarty is it?!" apparently mum did want to have this conversation "Do you know her?"

I glanced up to see Doctor Cullen nodding.

"Yeah she's a sweet girl." he replied.

"Sweet?" my mum asked throwing me a look.

Ok I know 'sweet' girls weren't exactly my normal type but did she have to make that so damn obvious?

I gave her a warning glare to try and get this subject dropped.

"Yeah." he chuckled "First time I treated her was when she was 10."

That caught my attention.

"She'd broken her arm falling out of a tree trying to follow her brother." he shook his head smiling "According to her mum she was always trying to keep up with him and it resulted in quite a few nasty bumps and bruises."

I felt my own smile tugging at my lips imagining a little Alice trying to climb a tree after seeing Emmett do it.

"Poor kids." Doctor Cullen sighed sadly.

"Why?" my mum asked in alarm and I realised I hadn't told her that bit yet.

"Their parents died in a traffic accident a couple of years ago. It's been hard for them."

"You never told me that." my mum said accusingly at me.

I shrugged "It never came up."

That was true, I hadn't told my mum much about Alice mainly because I knew she'd be suspicious of the amount of time I spent there if she knew there was no parental supervision.

I skilfully directed the conversation away from Alice by asking Doctor Cullen about his work.

It felt wrong somehow talking about her when she wasn't here, like we were gossiping behind her back and god knows she got enough of that shit at school.

By the time I got home and could finally check my phone again, I found one more message from Alice telling me not to be offended if she didn't reply because she was going out with Em and Rose.

I flopped onto my bed with an angry huff knowing I'd probably have to wait until tomorrow to talk to her now.

That sucked!

* * *

Alice's pov

Sunday night I could not sleep, a mix of nerves and anticipation kept me tossing and turning most of the night.

Me and Jasper hadn't really talked since he'd kissed me, he hadn't mentioned it in any of his messages and I hadn't had the courage to bring it up myself.

My whole body heated up when I thought back to the feel of his lips pressed to mine, his body hovering over mine, his hands gently running up and down my sides.

My body had reacted to him in a way I wasn't used to, all I knew was I had liked it, I had liked it a lot.

For once I was awake to see Emmett and Rosalie off.

I took the time to take a long hot shower letting myself think over everything.

It had been Jasper that had kissed me on Saturday, but did he regret it, was that why he hadn't mentioned it because he wished it hadn't happened?

I wanted to trust Jasper, no I did trust Jasper.

I believed him when he said he'd never hurt me but this was new to me and I wasn't sure what to expect when I got to school.

Jasper was already there when I pulled into my usual spot.

I waited by my car breathing heavily as he walked over smiling at me.

The car park was full of people so the last thing I expected was for him to lean down and kiss me.

My knees almost buckled but thankfully he kept it short and sweet.

"Hey." he grinned, oblivious to the stares and whispers we were receiving.

Everything faded into the background as his eyes found mine I grinned back "Miss me?"

"Yeah I've missed you." he chuckled wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we headed inside.

My whole body tingled as his fingers drew little circles on the top of my arm.

"See you in Biology." he told me kissing the side of my head outside my homeroom before heading to his own.

I tried to ignore the whispers as I slid into my seat.

"I have no idea what she thinks she's doing." Lauren hissed.

I chewed my lip and ignored her.

"I guess Jasper's just a freak too." Tyler said.

"No he's not." Lauren insisted "He's only after one thing from her, you can tell. She's a challenge for him and once he's had her he'll move on to better things." she said smugly.

I sighed sadly, why did they always have to cheapen everything?

If it had been just about sex I doubted I would have been able to resist him on Saturday night had he pushed for more.

Despite knowing I wasn't ready for that yet my mind had melted to hormonal lust when his lips had been moving with mine, he could have done whatever he had wanted and I wouldn't have stopped him.

I quickly stopped my mind from heading back down that path, this was not the place for those kinds of thoughts.

"You ok?" Jasper asked as I took my seat next to him in Biology.

I glanced to where Lauren was scowling at us and quickly looked back at the desk.

"It's just harder than I thought." I admitted.

His hand ran soothingly over my back.

"Has someone said something to you?" I could hear the repressed anger in his voice.

I shook my head "Not really."

"Mini what's wrong?" he asked softly.

Looking up I smiled at him "Nothing honestly, this is just new you know. I'm still not sure what to expect."

"Ok, I'll believe you, but you can talk to me you know, if something is bothering you."

"Yeah I know that." I leant my head against his shoulder as the lesson began.

He held my hand on the way to lunch, a simple gesture that made me smile.

Mike and Jessica rudely pushed in front of us as we got in line.

"Hey!" Jasper spoke up angrily.

My fingers tightened in his hand trying to get him to drop it.

Mike threw us a look over his shoulder and turned back without a word.

"There's a queue." Jasper growled out.

Mike sighed heavily and turned to face us.

"You chose garbage." he told Jasper sneering down at me "Deal with the consequences."

I could feel Jasper's whole body tense.

"Leave it Jazz, please." I asked him in a low voice.

Mike smirked "Yeah leave it Jazz!" he mocked.

Both he and Jessica laughed as they turned to grab a tray.

"Jazz, that's cute." Jess giggled.

I bit my lip wishing I'd kept my mouth shut.

"Sorry." I mumbled to Jasper as we sat down, his face was still hard with anger "Jazz, Jasper I'm sorry."

He sighed "Mini it's ok. I'm not mad at you, it just pisses me off when they treat you like that."

I smiled "Thanks for standing up for me, but trust me on this it would be a lot easier if you let it go."

"I guess." he sighed and I could tell he didn't like the idea.

"I've got you now." I smiled over at him "I can handle anything they throw at me."

His mouth quirked a little.

"So can I come round tonight?" he asked.

I nodded and smiled "Like you need to ask." I teased.

He just shrugged "It's good manners." he gave me a lopsided smirk that made my heart flutter.

He followed me home from school meaning I didn't have time to change, not that Jasper seemed to mind.

The second we were through the door he had me pinned to a wall his mouth attacking mine.

I shivered as he trailed his lips up to my ear and sighed softly.

"It has been a very long day." he murmured huskily and brought his lips back to mine.

The sleeper sofa was still pulled out and it wasn't long before I found myself, once again, lying on it as Jasper hovered over me.

I was having complete sensory overload with him being this close.

I loved the feel of his body pressed gently to mine, his lips moving surely with mine. All I could smell was him, all I could feel was him. He was taking over me and I loved it.

One of his hands slid under my sweater his fingers dancing lightly over my stomach and I froze.

"Jazz stop." I chocked out turning my head to break from the kiss.

His forehead went to rest in the crook of my neck "What?" he murmured.

He withdrew his hand to push himself up and look at me.

I shook my head feeling stupid. This was Jasper, Jasper wasn't going to hurt me.

"Nothing, I'm ok." my hands went to run through his hair and I pulled his face down to kiss him again.

Unfortunately I was now hyper aware of what he was doing and the second one of his hands slid under my sweater again I flinched away from him.

"Mini what's wrong?" he asked in concern.

I was breathing heavily and reached down to remove his hand where it still rested on my stomach biting my lip as a slight flicker of annoyance crossed his face.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

He just shrugged and rolled off me in a strop.

"No, you don't want me to touch you that's fine."

I sat up crossing my legs and wrapped my arms around myself.

"You're not being fair." I mumbled softly to him.

"Why not? You're my girlfriend, we were making out. What exactly am I not being fair about?" he snapped at me and I felt my own anger increase. I didn't deserve this.

I would not let him take advantage of me if I wasn't ready.

"I told you this is new to me, I've never really had a boyfriend before. The last guy I…" I trailed off tears pricked my eyes as I thought back to how stupid I had been.

"It's not about you." I said softly "But I need you to understand, I need to take this slow."

"Slow?" he growled "Fine, any other rules you wanna lay down?" he was still angry.

"Jasper please." I murmured looking up at him, he was looking away from me but turned back as my voice shook slightly.

I could see the anger in his eyes, it quickly disappeared replaced by guilt as he looked at me.

He scooted back over to me tentatively wrapping his arms around me and I leant into him.

"I'm sorry Mini." he whispered.

I stretched up to kiss his cheek and let him know he was forgiven.

"Jazz I understand you have certain expectations when it comes to girls and stuff." I began hesitantly "But I don't, I don't know what to expect, I have no real experience." I could feel my cheeks heating up as I admitted all this "The only other guy I've ever dated." I rolled my eyes "If you can call it that. I told you on Saturday it was all a trick, and he was kind of forceful." I felt Jasper tense and quickly added "Nothing happened, not really. I put a stop to it before he could…do anything, but he did try and it wasn't nice."

I mentally rolled my eyes.

_Wasn't nice! Exceptional use of the English language there Alice._

During my ramblings Jasper's arms had tightened so I was now pinned to his chest, his arms locked around me trying to protect me from the world.

"I'm sorry." he said again "I'm so sorry. I swear Mini I wont rush you ok I promise, I'm sorry."

I wriggled around in his arms so I could reach up and take his face between my hands.

"I know." I told him "It's ok. I trust you."

He gave me a small smile when I said that and leant in for a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry I got mad. You gotta tell me if I'm doing something wrong." he said his face serious again "If I'm going too fast, or doing something you're not comfortable with ok? Cause you're right, I've never gone slow before." he chuckled "Although it did take me three weeks to build up the courage to kiss you so maybe it wont be as hard as I think."

Giggling I wrapped my arms around his neck "Thank you, and just for the record I have absolutely no issues with you kissing me." I grinned at him and he immediately brought his lips to mine.

"Good to know." he mumbled before kissing me again.

* * *

Jasper's pov

I am such a worthless, self centred, pathetic piece of shit!

As we sat finishing off our homework, Alice chattering away happily, I wanted to go and throw myself under a train for the way I'd behaved earlier.

I had known it was too soon for us to have sex, even if what Lauren had said about Alice still being a virgin wasn't true, I knew she wasn't the type of girl to just give herself to anyone so quickly. But I had been hoping to get something from her.

_Oh god Jasper listen to yourself!_

Self loathing clawed its way up my body like a thousand cockroaches crawling over my skin.

I did not deserve this girl.

I had promised her I would take things slow but I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to stand by that promise.

My self restraint was already at it's limit from trying to resist her for so long.

I had made the promise rashly scared she would leave me if I didn't.

Alice was stronger than me she could survive without me, she'd been doing it for years, but I wasn't sure what I'd do without her.

Sunday afternoon, when I hadn't even been able to text her, had been nearly unbearable.

I thought about what she'd told me, about some other guy trying to take advantage of her. Anger rose in me and I hated myself when I also realised I was jealous of the lucky son of a bitch who had squandered such a golden opportunity and ruined it for me.

I bit my tongue hard fighting down the urge to slap myself.

I had to stop thinking like that. Alice wasn't just some random chick I had picked up for some fun, I had to stop acting like this, the way I normally acting around girls.

The thing was it was kind of easy saying that to myself, accepting the limitations when we were just hanging out like this, no matter how much I craved her I could ignore it, I mean I'd been doing it for weeks.

But when I'd kissed her my hormones had taken over.

My whole teenage life I'd conditioned myself to know how to act around girls, to get what I wanted and my body had just acted accordingly with Alice.

For me that had not been moving too fast, that had been slow and teasing and it was only now I was thinking clearly, without her invading my senses, I could remember Alice wasn't like the other girls I'd fucked.

"_Do you like the challenge or something?"_

Lauren's words decided to assault my head.

Maybe I did, maybe part of the appeal of Alice was knowing she wouldn't just roll over and give in to my usual charms, but at the same time I hated that she wouldn't.

I wanted her, I wanted her so badly it was like a physical ache in my body.

She drove me absolutely crazy and she didn't even know it.

I had never felt this level of attraction for anyone before and it was imposable to ignore.

After we'd eaten Alice had the sense to push the sofa back to being just a sofa, so when we started making out we weren't lying on a bed.

Not that it did all that much good.

All too soon my hands found there way under her shirt running up her back.

She didn't flinch away this time but I felt her tense and quickly withdrew them.

"Sorry." I mumbled a little breathlessly.

Looking down I found her chewing her lip guilt written on her face and I felt like shit again.

"Mini don't, don't feel guilty it's not your fault." I told her softly.

She nodded but I could tell she wasn't really listening to me.

"I'm getting a bit tired, I didn't sleep well last night." she muttered to her hands.

"Ok." I said "I'll see you tomorrow?" it ended up coming out as a question.

She nodded but wouldn't look at me as she walked me to the door.

I placed a soft kiss on her hair "Sweet dreams Mini." I whispered.

For the first time ever she closed the door before I'd pulled off the drive and I felt even more like shit.

"You're home early." my mum said as I walked in.

I checked the clock, it wasn't even half 8 yet.

I went to join her on the sofa "I need some advice." I heard myself saying.

Things must be bad if I was asking my mum for help.

"What about?" she asked softly.

I sighed running a hand over my face "Alice." I admitted.

I felt my mum tense a little beside me and knew she was probably jumping to all kinds of conclusions.

"I'm being a dick to her, and I don't want to be but I can't seem to help it." I tried to explain.

"Jasper what have you done?" she asked seriously.

And I was at such a loss what to do I told her everything, censoring some parts obviously.

"I know I should respect her and take it at her pace and I want to, I mean I really do care about her but I just can't seem to stop myself." I admitted, self loathing washing over me again at my weakness.

When my mum didn't reply I glanced up nervously to find her smiling softly at me, she shook her head as our eyes met.

"Your father has been a bigger influence than you're willing to admit." she said making me scowl.

What the hell did this have to do with him?

"This isn't just new to Alice, it's new for you too." she smiled at me "Physically you're more experienced than her but emotionally you're not. You've never had a serious relationship Jasper, you say you care about her but you don't really know how to express that, the only way you know how to express it is physically but she doesn't see it the same way you do. Which is where the problem is."

"So what do I do?" I asked, confused by what she was telling me.

"Well, have you ever taken her out, on a date I mean?" she asked curiously.

I shook my head, no.

"That might be a good place to start. Jasper your past…relationships with girls have all been about the physical side, if you want this to be different you have to stop putting so much emphasis on that."

I was quite amazed my mum was so calm discussing my sex life.

"Easy for you to say." I mumbled thinking about the way I couldn't control my reactions to her at the best of times.

Mum just laughed "Yes I know, you're a teenage boy and your hormones are playing havoc with you. But think Jasper, you've only known her for three weeks, that's not long enough to build the secure foundations of a relationship on. If you really want this to work, if you really are serious about this girl you have to make it different, you have to be different."

I thought through all that and realised my mum actually had a point.

It had taken me three weeks to kiss Alice, that was longer than I'd ever waited before, hell most were pretty much over and done with before we reached three weeks.

I had thought that was enough to make it different, but it wasn't.

If I wanted this to be long term, and I realised that I did, three weeks meant nothing.

"I am such an idiot!" I muttered.

My mum just laughed again "No honey, you just think you know it all, just like your father."

I scowled at that.

She shook her head "If you were really like him though you wouldn't have had the sense to ask me for advice."

I tried to keep scowling but I couldn't, I ended up smiling.

"Yeah you know everything right." I teased.

She ruffled my hair affectionately "And don't you forget it."

I chuckled but then my face fell "I really hope I haven't messed everything up."

She sighed "Oh Jasper you're still so young, you're bound to make mistakes but it doesn't make you a bad person. Alice will forgive you."

I smiled hoping she was right, hoping I hadn't just ruined the best thing that had happened to me.

* * *

**Don't hate Jasper too much, he is still a teenager after all. **

**Let me know what you think in a review. x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight.**

**Big thanks to those who reviewed. Just a little warning there is quite a bit of swearing in this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: The bubble burst.**

Jasper's pov

After my chat with my mum I knew I had to make up with Alice.

I made sure I always got to school first, it may seem stupid but I didn't like the idea of her being there on her own, even for just a few minutes.

"Hey." I smiled at her as I made my way over and for once refrained from kissing her.

I could tell she was still upset about what had happened last night and the guilt rose mixed with the slight fear she was going to end things.

"So I was thinking about what happened last night." I began when she didn't say anything "And have come to the conclusion that I am an idiot."

She giggled a little and I couldn't help smiling.

"I want this, us to be different from what I'm used to, and I'm sorry I didn't realise this all sooner."

She chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"I don't understand." she said slowly.

I ran a hand through my hair thinking how I could explain.

"Ok, well last night we had a little break down in communication. What I did, for me Alice that wasn't rushing things, but obviously for you it was. That's not a bad thing." I quickly assured as her face fell "I understand this is all new for you, and the truth is it's new for me too."

She frowned in confusion.

"I've never been in a relationship before Alice." I clarified "I've only ever messed around with girls. So the truth is we're both learning, and we are going to make mistakes from time to time, that's why we need to be honest, like you were last night and like I'm trying to be here. One of the main problems is the fact we always end up at your house, you were right I do have expectations and being at your house I kind of acted on them without thinking."

I wasn't sure how much of this was making sense so decided to just give up for now on explaining things.

"So I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

She looked up at me "Out?"

I cleared my throat nervously "Yeah, you know like a date."

She smiled shyly "You're asking me out on a date?"

I nodded "That's what couples do isn't it?"

"Ok." she smiled up at me "That would be great."

I felt myself relax and smiled back at her "Great I'll pick you up at five."

_See that wasn't so hard was it._

Like I'd promised I picked Alice up at five, the drive to Port Angeles took about an hour and we spent it mainly chatting.

It wasn't the most imaginative date, just the movies and a pizza but it made Alice happy and that had been the intention.

We ended up seeing the new Alice in Wonderland because Alice got ridiculously excited when she saw it was on.

"So did you like it?" I asked as we sat down for our pizza.

Alice rolled her eyes "Stupid question, I love Tim Burton and I love Alice in Wonderland, it was pretty much a given I'd like it."

I chuckled "Fair enough, just thought I'd check."

She smiled at me for a second before her eyes dropped to the table.

"Thank you for doing this." she mumbled.

I reached over the table to take her hand "You're welcome Mini, and in case you hadn't noticed I'm rather enjoying myself here."

She gave me her dazzling happy smile that made it hard for me to think for a few seconds.

On the car ride home she ended up falling asleep and I felt bad when we arrived back at her house and I had to wake her.

I wrapped an arm around her as I walked her to the door.

Once it was unlocked she turned back to me "Thank you." she whispered smiling softly.

"Anytime Alice." I brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and leant in for a goodnight kiss, which by some miracle I was able to keep short and sweet.

As I drove home I realised I was back on cloud nine. Guess my mum really did know what she was talking about.

I tried to continue taking my mums advice and the next few weeks were wonderful. I don't think I had ever smiled so much in my life.

Turns out my mum had been right about a lot of things and spending time with Alice like that, making her happy by taking her out or bringing her little presents like flowers and stuff made me feel better than shagging girls normally did.

I was doing what I had wanted, I was letting her know I cared, I was making her feel good about herself and I could see the improvement in her.

She was still very reserved at school, but I suppose the damage from years of bullying weren't going to be undone overnight.

There were times when she would let her guard down, she also started making more of an effort to look nice at school.

Not that she needed to, in my eyes she always looked beautiful.

Oh great now I sound like a fucking women!

My mum also approved which made my life easier, well I say approved she had fallen in love with Alice the second she'd met her and that night after Alice had gone home she'd given me a severe warning not to fuck it up.

Something I had no intention of doing.

Alice was still yet to tell Emmett about the development in our relationship, which I was grateful for because I was rather dreading his reaction.

The physical side of our relationship had yet to progress past kissing something I was finding a new appreciation for.

For me, like most things when it came to girls, kissing had always been a means to an ends.

But seeing as how I wasn't allowed to do more, instead of getting annoyed about that, I decided to make the most of it.

Which is what I was currently doing.

Sitting on Alice's sofa with her in my arms, her hands tangled in my hair, as my tongue slowly explored her mouth loving the taste of her.

My hands fisted the back of her shirt to stop them wandering.

I nibbled on her bottom lip making her press closer.

Running my lips down her jaw I gently sucked and nibbled at the soft skin making her moan softly.

Regretfully I pulled back fully before I lost my head.

Alice's hands were still in my hair and she tried to pull me back to her lips.

"Alice stop." I murmured.

She looked up at me with a frown and I leant my forehead against hers.

"Just give me a sec." I told her.

She knew what I meant, we'd hit this barrier several times in the past few weeks.

She scooted back giving me some space as I tried to calm myself down.

Smiling I reached over to run my fingers through her hair, she gave me a guilty smile.

"It's ok Mini." I chuckled "You're just too damn irresistible." I teased.

She giggled "I can try not to be."

I shook my head leaning in for a quick kiss "Don't you dare." I warned.

She pulled herself back over to me resting her head against my chest.

I ran a hand soothingly over her back holding her tight, it was very calming having her in my arms like this.

We stayed quiet for a while until I felt her take one of my hands in hers.

Very slowly she slid it under the fabric of her shirt and my fingers tingled as they contacted with her silky skin.

"Alice!" I warned.

"Shh." she shushed bringing her lips back to mine.

I kept my hand still not trusting myself and was relieved when she pulled back.

She frowned in confusion.

"Jazz?"

I took a deep breath "You sure about this?" I asked softly.

She giggled rolling her eyes "Jazz it's not like we're jumping in at the deep end here, we're still going slow but it's been three weeks, I trust you and this is ok." she slowly pushed my hand a little higher up her back and leant in to kiss me again.

I guess good behaviour really does reap rewards.

Of course I had to go and ruin the moment as we continued making out by pulling her to straddle my lap which meant she became acutely aware of the affect she had on certain parts of my anatomy.

Her cheeks were stained dark pink as she pulled back climbing off me.

Unfortunately her innocence was such a fucking turn on I had to call a halt to things for the night.

My little bubble of happiness was quickly burst later that week. It was Saturday and Alice, for once, was at my house hanging out and watching TV.

Well Alice was watching TV, I was entertaining myself my nibbling and kissing her neck.

She would roll her head to give me better access when I moved on to a new spot but kept her eyes on the TV.

I smirked as I felt her jaw tighten, she was trying to ignore me but I had her.

Moving up to suck on the sensitive skin behind her ear I chuckled in delight as she let forth a soft whimper.

Yes I defiantly had her.

"You leave any marks and Em will see." she warned me as I kissed her throat racking my teeth lightly over her soft skin.

I sighed but moved away from her at the sound of the mail being delivered.

"Yeah, maybe not the best way for him to find out." I agreed retrieving the mail.

Most of it was shit for my mum but I found one addressed to me.

With a frown I flopped myself back down next to Alice and ripped open the small white envelope.

A few white rose petals fell to the floor increasing my confusion, until I pulled out the card and my whole body tensed.

"What?" Alice asked in concern.

I just glared down at the small black and white photo of my dad and Cindy, slowly I opened the card to read the words.

_You are hereby invited to the wedding of Anthony Whitlock and Cindy Porter on Saturday May 15__th__. At The Heathman Hotel Kirkland, Seattle._

My eyes trained in on one word.

Seattle.

They were getting married in Seattle, was he fucking joking!

"Jasper?" Alice asked again sounding very alarmed as my breathing picked up.

I stood up suddenly dropping the card to the floor and moving into the kitchen, heading to the sink I splashed cold water on my face trying to calm the fuck down.

I could not believe he would do this.

Was he really that fucking stupid he hadn't realised our move to Forks had been because of this whole fucking wedding, now he was going to rub our fucking noses in it by coming to this State to fucking do it!

"Jasper, please talk to me." Alice's soft voice sounded from behind me.

I turned and ripped the invite out of her hand, glaring down at it.

"Seattle! Is he having a fucking laugh!" I growled screwing the stupid thing up and flinging it in the trash.

Alice watched me as I began to pace angrily.

"Isn't it fucking bad enough he's getting married, he forced her to leave her home and friends. Now he's going to rub it in her face more by fucking doing it in Seattle!" I screamed out in anger "What is fucking wrong with him?"

"I don't know." Alice said quietly after a few seconds silence "He obviously hasn't considered how hard this would be on you."

I scoffed "That's a fucking understatement."

"Are you going to go?"

I looked over at her incredulously "What?"

She shrugged and looked down at her hands "He's still your father Jasper."

"No." I snarled moving forward so I was standing over her "He does not deserve that title. As far as I'm concerned I don't fucking have a father."

Pain flashed in her eyes.

"I suppose that's your choice." she said sadly.

"Don't do that to me." I growled "Don't make me feel fucking guilty when it's his fault."

She looked up at me "I'm not."

"Yes you are." I glared down at her.

She sighed softly "Jasper…"

"Don't fucking patronize me Alice." I roared making her jump, her eyes widening as she stared at me. I turned away from her pacing again.

"You have no idea ok, you don't know."

"I know he's the only father you have." she said calmly.

"So that gives him the right to treat me like shit and get away with it?" I was beyond reason.

"I'm not gonna push you on this Jazz." she said softly "But this is your chance to be the better man."

My fists clenched as I spun to face her and part of me was terrified at how close I was to losing it with her.

"I don't want to be the better man, I want him to be the better man." I roared "I want to be pissed at him Alice, I want to hate him because he fucking deserves it. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven."

I moved forward blindly not really thinking and she backed away until I had her pinned to a wall.

"Jazz." she chocked out as I glared down at her.

Fear shone in her eyes and I staggered back as I realised what I was doing.

"I'm sorry." I stammered all the anger drained from me "Mini, I am so sorry."

She stayed pressed to the wall staring at me with wide eyes and the old familiar self loathing crashed over me.

"See, I'm not the better man." I spat, disgusted with myself.

I turned and leant my elbows on the counter burying my head in my hands.

I flinched as I felt a tentative hand on my back and turned to see Alice beside me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered again as I met her eyes.

She sighed hugging my arm tightly and rested her head against it.

"I know." she murmured softly "I know Jazz."

I wanted to move away from her, I didn't deserve her comfort, her forgiveness but I couldn't, I needed her.

"Why can't I get mad at him? Why am I taking this out on you?" I asked angry with myself.

Alice just hugged my arm tighter "Because you know I'll always be here for you no matter what." she whispered and I felt her press a kiss to my shoulder.

"I don't deserve you." I told her honestly standing up so I could pull her to my chest.

Her arms wrapped around my waist and she squeezed me tight.

"What do I do?" I asked, at a complete loss now the anger had gone.

Alice pulled back to look at me.

"The real question Jasper isn't whether you can forgive your father, but whether you'll be able to forgive yourself if you walk away without trying." her face was soft and her eyes shone with compassion "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life thinking, what if?"

I pulled her back to my chest burying my head in her hair.

"Never leave me Alice." I begged "Because I honest to god have no idea what I'd do without you."

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Alice's pov

To say Jasper's little freak out didn't scare me would be a lie.

I stayed with him until I was sure he was alright before making my excuses and leaving.

I drove around aimlessly and ended up at the beach.

Killing the engine I stepped out of the car, I needed time to think, to clear my head. I set off across the sand.

I had never had anyone get really mad at me before, not someone I cared about at least.

I knew he hadn't been mad at me, not really, he'd just needed an outlet for all the issues with his father he needed to deal with.

The look on his face when he had realised what he was doing had broke my heart.

"_Never leave me Alice, because I honest to god have no idea what I'd do without you."_

In that sentence he had me and I knew I couldn't leave him even if I wanted to.

He wasn't violent not really, he hadn't actually hurt me. He had just been angry and confused and a little lost.

My heart went out to him, it must be so hard to have your father hurt you the way Jasper's had and for him to not even realise he had done it.

I frowned, what the hell was I doing here when he needed me?

I turned and ran back to my car, driving quickly back to Jasper's house.

He seemed confused when he opened the door .

"I thought you were heading home." he said.

"I was but…" I trailed off as fear and panic seemed to take over him.

He thought I was here to break up with him.

Stepping forward I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I had to make sure you were ok." I mumbled into his chest.

I felt him relax as his arms came up to return the embrace.

We went back into the lounge and sat on the sofa again, Jasper kept tight hold of my hand as though scared I would suddenly disappear.

"I'm sorry if it seemed I was pushing you before." I began slowly "I wasn't looking at it from your point of view."

"Don't." he mumbled "It's not your fault."

I kept my eyes on the floor as I built up the courage to tell him what I needed him to hear.

"I do understand." I stammered "I understand what it's like to be mad at your parents, to want to hate them for letting you down."

I heard him shift beside me and peeked up to find him looking at me a slight frown marring his face.

"When my parents…" I took a deep breath "When they died, I really hated them. I hated them for leaving me." it was getting hard to breath and I gripped tight hold of Jasper's hand with both of mine.

"I was upset with them because they wanted to go out for dinner and I couldn't because I had too much homework. Mum kept staying they'd stay in if I wanted but I …I told them to go."

Tears streamed down my face as I thought back to that last night.

"Alice." Jasper started, he didn't know what to say. No one ever did.

"I have had two years filled with 'what if's' Jasper." I finally made it to my point "I don't want you to have to suffer that too."

And that was the truth, because the wondering, the what if's,

_What if they had stayed home that night?_

_What if I hadn't convinced them to go out?_

_What if I could have gone with them?_

In the beginning it had nearly destroyed me and I didn't want Jasper to have to go through that.

I calmed myself down taking deep breaths, focussing on Jasper's hand in mine.

Wrapping his free arm around me he placed a soft kiss to my temple.

"I know I should talk to him but I don't know what to say." he sighed.

Pulling my feet up under me I curled up against him.

"Start with hello." I said "Then go from there, the chances are he wants to talk to you, so for the most part you could just listen. If you really can't think of what to say tell him that, make him see how much damage he caused."

I felt him nod against me.

"I just can't believe he's getting married in Seattle."

I thought about that "Well you haven't spoken to him since you left Texas right?"

"No." Jasper answered.

"Maybe this is his attempt to bridge the gap." I suggested.

I know it sounded like a stretch but I couldn't understand any other reason for it.

"Maybe." Jasper didn't sound convinced.

I stretched up to kiss him softly, he responded almost desperately.

Our eyes met and my heart seemed to stop, time froze.

He looked so lost, so scared.

My heart swelled with a fierce need to make sure he never felt like this again, I grabbed his face between my hands.

"Jasper I lo…I'll always be here for you no matter what, you know that right? Whatever you need, you just let me know."

I was suddenly feeling very flustered at my near declaration of love, but as his face smoothed out and he smiled at me I knew it was true.

I Alice McCarty was in love with Jasper Whitlock.

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**Reviews make me smile. xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: ****I still don't own Twilight.**

**Thank you to everyone who is supporting this story either through reviews or adding it to favourites and story alerts. I love you all. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 10: What a difference a day makes.**

Jasper's pov

It was two days after the invitation had arrived and I'd had my little freak out that I actually plucked up the courage to get my dad's number and call him.

It rang for quite a while and I was just hoping he wasn't actually going to answer when he did.

"Hello?"

The sound of his voice made me want to slam the phone down again.

"Hello?" he asked again.

"Dad?" I chocked out feeling like a moron.

The was a slight pause.

"Jasper, is that you?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah."

Wow this was awkward.

He chuckled "You took your time calling."

Was he serious?

I could feel the anger building again.

"Well I've had a lot on." I said coldly "You know, new town, new school. Starting over!"

"I suppose." he sounded uninterested "It's been a bit mad around here too, what with trying to get the wedding sorted."

"Yeah, that's why I called." I cut him off "I got the invite."

"Oh right." for the first time he sounded concerned.

"Look dad…."

He didn't let me finish.

"Actually, there was something I've been wanting to ask you." he butted in "You're my son Jasper and I was sort of hoping you'd consider being my best man."

My mouth dropped open in shock.

Was he having a fucking laugh?!

Here I was trying to tell him I wasn't sure if I could go to the wedding because I was still having trouble accepting the whole situation and he was asking me to be his fucking best man!

"What?" I stammered.

"Well I know this hasn't been easy on you and I was thinking it might be a nice way to make you feel involved."

My brain flounder trying to understand what was going on.

_He's trying to be nice._

Alice's voice spoke up in my head.

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Sure you can son." he sounded relieved.

An awkward silence fell.

"So, I'll call you to let you know."

"Ok, bye Jasper."

I hung up breathing heavily.

Well that hadn't been quite as productive as I'd hoped.

I immediately dialled Alice's number.

"Hey can I come over?" I asked before she even got a chance to say anything.

"Sure Jazz."

It was a credit to her that she didn't push for more details on the phone, considering my voice was an octave higher than normal.

She had the door open as I pulled onto the drive.

"What's wrong?" she asked "Jazz what's happened?" the worry in her voice increased as I simply walked towards her and took her in my arms.

Burying my head in her neck I breathed deeply letting her presence calm me.

"Jazz?" she tried to pull back but I locked my arms tightly keeping her pinned to me.

"Please talk to me." she begged.

I turned my head slightly, kissing along her neck.

"I need you." I murmured in her ear before trailing my lips across her cheek and down to capture her lips.

She let me kiss her for a while before finally getting me to release her.

"Jasper please tell me what's happened." she begged leading me to the kitchen.

I sat opposite her at the breakfast bar and sighed heavily. "I called my dad."

She waited quietly while I tried to organise my jumbled thoughts.

"I wanted to tell him I couldn't go to the wedding, that it was just too much for me to deal with but before I got the chance he asked me to be his best man." my voice was devoid of all emotion, I still had no idea how to feel about it all.

"What are you going to do?" she asked me softly after a few seconds ticked by.

I shrugged, I had no idea.

She moved around to wrap her arms around my neck and I pulled her up onto my lap which didn't work too well with me sitting on a bar stool.

In the end I sat her on the breakfast bar in front of me, her hands rested on my shoulders my arms wrapped around her waist.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

She sighed softly "I don't know Jasper. I've never met your father so I can't really say either way. But maybe he really is trying to involve you, make you realise that even though he has this new life, he still wants you to be part of it."

I looked up at her "You think I should do it?"

She shrugged "I can't tell you what to do. If it makes any difference I noticed that invite had a plus one, so if you wanted some moral support…" she trailed off looking away from me.

My hands slid to her hips.

"You'd come with me?"

She shrugged again "If you wanted to go, and if you wanted me to then yeah. But like I said it's your choice, I just thought I'd offer."

I thought long and hard about it.

Dad was never good at the emotional shit, maybe Alice was right, maybe this was his way of trying to make amends, let me know he still wanted me in his life.

Mum had said she no longer had the energy to be mad at him and I knew neither did I. I still wasn't sure where I stood on the forgiving him part but I couldn't be mad anymore, not after what I'd nearly done to Alice.

If this really was his olive branch I had to take it, to try and forge some form of relationship with him, I owed myself that much.

And Alice said she'd come with me, which was good because I knew I could handle it if she was beside me.

I smiled up at her to find her eyes closed and her breathing heavy.

I realised at some point I'd started running my hands up and down her thighs, I couldn't stop the smirk that spread across my face at the reaction I'd got from her.

"Alice." I called.

Her eyes fluttered open, bright green with lust.

I shifted forward and she seemed to know what I wanted as her hands fisted in my hair and her lips crushed mine hungrily.

I pulled back feeling drunk from the intensity of her kiss, I wanted to keep going but knew this wasn't the right time.

"Promise you'll come with me." it wasn't a question more of a demand.

She nodded "If you want me to then I'll be there." she promised brushing my hair back from my face.

I still wasn't sure about the best man thing, and seeing as how Alice was refusing to give me her opinion, not that I could blame her after how I had reacted before, I decided to tell my mum.

Unfortunately when I got home Doctor Cullen happened to be there and this wasn't the sort of thing to be discussed in front of him.

He ended up staying for dinner which meant it was late when I finally got to talk to her.

"You were quiet tonight." she observed as I washed the dishes.

"I had stuff on my mind and I didn't really want to bring it up with Doctor Cullen being here." I told her honestly.

"What's on your mind?" she asked coming to start wiping the dishes I'd washed.

"I spoke to dad earlier." I began hesitantly "And he asked me to be best man at the wedding."

I kept my eyes on the water before me.

"Oh I see." she said softly.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted.

"Jasper." she said making me look at her "I wont think less of you if you agree to do it. He's your father and he wants to include you in something that's important to him. So don't say no for my benefit ok."

I nodded slowly amazed at my mum's strength.

The next day after school I went round to Alice's house. I hadn't made my decision yet but I wanted her there for moral support when I called my dad. I needed to have a frank and honest conversation with him and I needed Alice to help me through it.

She sat curled up on the sofa as I paced, I was too wound up to sit down.

"You just need to explain that he hurt you as well." she said softly "He needs to know he has some making up to do."

She made it sound so easy!

"He didn't give me a chance to speak last time." I muttered.

"So don't give him a chance to distract you this time. Jasper" she stood up and moved in front of me placing her hands palm down on my chest to stop me pacing "If you want to repair the relationship with your father you need to be honest with him, keeping it all bottled up inside wont help. Just tell him how you feel. Get mad, yell at him if you want to. You have to get this off your chest."

My arms snaked around her waist and I grinned at her cheekily "How's about a quick kiss for courage?"

She giggled and playfully swatted my chest "I should have known this was a clever ploy to seduce me."

I leant down running my lips along her neck making her shiver.

"Trust me darlin'" I drawled "You'd know if I was tryin' to seduce you!"

Her fingers tensed gripping the front of my shirt, looking down into her eyes I smirked before placing a kiss to her eager lips.

I let myself focus on Alice for a while, the rest of the world fading to black as I kissed her.

"Thanks Mini." I murmured as I pulled back.

She staggered to the sofa looking a little dazed and I smirked again, I loved the effect I could have on her.

Pulling out my phone I dialled my dad's number.

As it rang I began pacing again.

"Hello?"

I took a deep breath "Hey dad, it's me again."

"Jasper, twice in as many days to what do I owe this pleasure?"

At least he sounded pleased to hear from me.

"Yeah." I mumbled "Well I've been thinking over what you asked me yesterday and I've got some stuff I need to say, I meant to tell you but you kind of put me off with your request so I called again."

_Was that even a sentence?_

"Right." he sounded a little apprehensive.

"Look dad I need you to understand it wasn't just mum you hurt when you did what you did, and I'm still having trouble getting my head around it. I mean she's what three years older than me, it's weird and on top of all that I end up all the way across the country and it took you four fucking weeks to try and find out how I was doing."

"I thought you'd want time to settle down." he spoke up quickly "You got a new phone, I didn't know the number."

"Yeah but would it have killed you to try, you obviously knew the address, I got the damn wedding invite. Something stupid even, just a note saying good luck on my first day of school, or you could have made sure I had your number before we left."

I could feel the anger, hurt and betrayal rising up inside me.

"I can't deal with everything that's happened as it is, and then you go and ask me to be your fucking best man like nothings wrong, and Seattle! Why the fuck are you getting married in Seattle?" I practically screamed down the phone at him all composure gone.

He sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry son, I know I haven't been a perfect father."

No fucking shit Sherlock!

"Cindy liked the look of the hotel and I thought you were more likely to come if it was closer to you, I mean your still at school this way you only have to miss one day."

My eyes found Alice as he spoke trying to calm myself down.

She wasn't looking at me, her eyes were on a large portrait of her mum and dad that hung in the room, it had been taken on their wedding day.

I could see the sadness and weight of their loss crush her and it felt like someone had punched me in the chest.

Everything she'd said came back to me, about how maybe asking me to be best man was his way of including me. Him saying that about wanting to make sure I could make it made me realise Alice had a point.

He was trying to make an effort, wasn't it only fair I did the same?

"If I agree to be best man, does the invite still include a plus one?" I asked slowly.

Alice's eyes snapped onto mine.

If this was his olive branch I'd take it, but I still needed her to be there I couldn't face it alone.

"Yes Jasper, you're more than welcome to bring a guest." his voice sounded hopeful.

I nodded slowly my eyes still locked on Alice.

"Ok. I'll do it."

A soft smile graced her lips and I suddenly didn't care what my dad was saying, I wanted this phone call to end.

"I'll call you later when I know what time I can come up and stuff." I said desperate to be off the phone and spend some time with Alice.

"Sure Jasper, that's fine. Talk to you later."

"Bye dad." I hung up quickly and moved forward as though hypnotised.

Sinking to my knees on the floor next to Alice she scooted forward on the sofa so I could rest my head on her lap. Her fingers lightly ran through my hair.

"You'll still come with me?" my tone was almost begging.

"Of course Jazz." she promised her voice soft and I felt her lips press to my head.

My eyes closed in contentment as her fingers continued to comb my hair.

I really did not know how I had survived without this girl in my life and I prayed to god I never had to try again.

I looked up into her eyes and she smiled at me.

"I'm proud of you." she whispered leaning down to rest her forehead on mine.

I frowned "Why?"

She giggled and kissed me "For doing this, for giving your dad a second chance. For proving you are the better man."

I shook my head "Mini that's all down to you, I'd still be stewing in anger if it wasn't for you." that was true, I owed Alice so much.

In that moment I wanted to do something for her, to let her know how much I appreciated her, how much she meant to me.

Without really thinking I scooped her up in my arms and headed for the stairs.

Alice's name was painted on one of the doors so I deduced that was her bedroom.

"Jazz." she stammered nervously as I lay her down on the double bed.

Crawling on beside her I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tightly, showering her face with kisses. Slowly she relaxed as my fingers danced over her back.

"Trust me Alice." I whispered as I rolled her onto her back and slowly moved down her body.

My fingers ran down her sides and along the waist of her jeans, I popped the button open.

She trembled a little but didn't stop me as I slowly pulled her jeans down her legs settling myself between them I ran my hands back up the inside of her thighs making her moan softly.

"Trust me." I whispered again reaching for her panties.

* * *

Alice's pov

Last night was truly indescribable.

To be honest I had been terrified when Jasper took me up to bed, but it hadn't been anything like I'd expected.

When I'd been felt up before it had been harsh and demanding, Jasper had been gentle and patient. He hadn't pushed me, he'd given me time to say no, but I hadn't wanted to. When Jasper touched me, held me, I felt safe, cared for, I trusted him and I am so glad I had!

The guy was incredible, he'd brought me to orgasm on his tongue!

I know my experience is limited but I'm assuming that's a skill.

Afterwards he had simply held me in his arms. Not pushing for more, not expecting me to return the favour, nothing.

It had made me love him that much more and I'd had to bite my lip hard to stop confessing that to him.

I didn't want to ruin things, he had enough to deal with at the moment. If he could be patient with me I could be patient with him.

I expected things between us to change some after what had happened.

I mean we had become intimate didn't that mean something?

The next day at school he was waiting for me as usual on the car park and greeted me with a kiss.

"I've missed you." he mumbled making me smile.

"Jazz, you saw me less than twelve hours ago." I pointed out.

He grinned down at me cheekily "I still missed you."

As we wandered to class I kept getting really self conscious as though everyone in the school somehow knew what we had done last night and it really freaked me out.

"Can I come round tonight?" Jasper asked as we unpacked our things at the beginning of Biology.

I bit my lip for once unsure.

"Alice what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Nothing." I lied pathetically opening my text book I pretended to be enthralled with cellular mitosis.

Jasper sighed heavily as he sat down.

"If you don't want me to come over just say, I'll understand if you want some time alone."

I looked up into his blue eyes, thankfully Mr. Banner began the lesson allowing me the chance to take the cowards way out.

When the bell rang for lunch I dived out of the classroom and headed to the one place he couldn't follow me, the girls toilets.

I locked myself in one of the cubicles taking time to think because at the moment I was seriously freaking out.

It's not that I didn't want to see Jasper tonight I just didn't want him to think it would be a repeat performance of last night.

Don't get me wrong I had enjoyed it immensely and I had no regrets, I just wasn't the type of girl who could deal with expectations.

_Well then you need to talk to him._

I knew that but what if he got mad again that I was being so controlling and finally had enough of me?

That was my main fear. What if he thought that just because I let him do that last night I was suddenly ready to go all the way and got pissed that I wasn't?

Was I giving him mixed signals?

Would he be wanting something in return?

Was I just freaking out for no reason?

I needed to explain this to Jasper to talk to him, and I realised I couldn't do that locked in the toilet.

Taking a deep breath I let myself out the cubicle and headed to the sinks.

I was just washing my hands when the door suddenly burst open and Bella rushed in tears streaming down her face. She took one look at my shocked expression, her eyes widened and she quickly locked herself in a cubicle quiet sobs reached my ears.

I was frozen staring after her, indecision keeping me rooted to the spot.

I needed to go talk to Jasper. I owed Bella nothing she'd turned her back on me when I'd needed her.

My hand was on the door handle when a particularly loud sob broke out of her.

Groaning at my own sense of loyalty I flicked the lock so no one else could get in.

"Bella?" I asked softly.

She sniffled quietly trying to control her sobs.

"B, please open the door."

"Go away Alice, I don't want to talk to you. We're not even friends." she spat.

The barb rolled off me, I was far too used to it for it to hurt.

"I'm not leaving until I know you're alright." I stated stubbornly folding my arms.

She laughed bitterly "Why do you even care?"

I bit my lip, that was an excellent question.

"Because we were friends for ten years, and even though you've got new friends now it doesn't mean I wont be there for you if you need me." I shrugged.

Silence greeted me and I was just about ready to give up when I heard the lock slide back and Bella stood there her eyes bloodshot, her face red and puffy, tears still streaming down her face.

"I've really fucked up Alice. I don't know what to do." she sobbed.

Stepping forward I wrapped her in my arms whispering soothing words as I let her cry, much the same way Jasper had done for me.

I didn't push her to tell me what was wrong I just let her cry herself out.

The bell rang for the end of lunch and I silently cursed. I hadn't realised we'd been here that long.

I still hadn't spoken to Jasper, god only knows what he was thinking.

Bella moved out of my embrace trying to pull herself together.

"Thanks." she mumbled heading to the sink to splash cold water on her face and refused to meet my eyes.

I shrugged "Anytime." I headed for the door and paused "You ever want to talk you know where to find me." I said my back to her before unlocking the door and heading for my next lesson.

I couldn't concentrate in my last two classes, I was worrying about Bella and I was worrying about Jasper and I really couldn't care about trigonometry.

Finally the bell rang for end of day and I dashed out to the car park, relieved to find Jasper's Volvo still there. I went to wait next to it.

He scowled at me when he saw me.

"Hey." he said moodily barely acknowledging me as he unlocked his car and flung his bag inside.

"Jazz." I sighed "I'm sorry about earlier, I just needed some time to think."

"About what? Asking if I can come round seems like a perfectly reasonable request, one I've made hundreds of times before and you haven't freaked out on me."

"I know that, but things are different."

He cut me off before I could say more.

"How Alice?!" he hissed "What changed?"

"You're being an ass!" I declared angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry how am I meant to react when my girlfriend runs away from me and then hides somewhere all fucking lunch hour?!"

"I wasn't hiding." I hissed trying so hard not to yell at him whilst we were in public "I told you I needed time to think and then I ran into Bella and she was upset and I couldn't just leave her."

"Why not huh?" he glared at me "Let me get this straight, you act all weird and freak out then disappear leaving me thinking I've done something wrong so you can comfort a girl who's made your life miserable for the past three years."

"Why are you so pissed off at me?" I asked "I'm here aren't I, I'm trying to explain myself. I know I freaked out earlier but I've fucking apologised for that."

Shaking my head I sighed "I needed time to think because I'm not sure what you expect coming over after what happened last night." I admitted holding my hand up to stop him saying anything "I don't regret it Jazz and I never will, but I want our relationship to be about more than sex." I looked him straight in the eye "I would have explained all that to you at lunch but Bella was really upset and I couldn't just leave her. I'm sorry but that's who I am."

He sighed and pulled me into a hug "You're right I was being an ass. I just got pissed because you weren't talking to me. Sometimes I get you Mini and other times, like now, I need you to tell me how you feel because I have no idea and I always end up messing up." he took a breath "I can promise you I don't have any expectations ok, just because you let me eat you out last night I'm not going to expect to do that all the time."

My cheeks burned causing him to chuckle.

"You're not embarrassed are you." he teased.

I shook my head, but I wasn't very convincing considering my face still resembled a tomato. He laughed harder.

"You don't have to be so casual about it." I mumbled.

He kissed the side of my head "Ok, I'm sorry. So now we both know where we stand, can I come round tonight?"

I bit my lip "Erm, do you mind if you don't." I muttered.

He sighed "If that's what you want."

"It's not you." I assured quickly "It's just I offered Bella the chance to talk, I mean she probably wont take it but I want to be free just in case."

Jasper sighed again and looked down at me "You're too good sometimes you know."

I shrugged "I can't hold a grudge, besides I'd hate myself forever if I left her to suffer alone. I made the offer it's her choice now."

"Ok, I'll call you later." he pressed a kiss to my forehead and I smiled.

"Yeah that's fine, thanks Jazz." I hugged him tightly for a second before heading over to my car.

When I arrived home I sent him a soppy text thanking him for understanding and signing it with far too many kisses.

I did my homework and put some laundry through my mind wandering to Bella.

I really hoped she'd take my offer I've never seen her that upset and I didn't have all that much faith in Lauren and Jessica being particularly good listeners.

Trying to take my mind off things I decided to cook up some comfort food, southern fried chicken, my all time favourite always guaranteed to make me feel better.

I was just about to call Jasper before settling myself down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang.

My heart jumped a little. If it was Bella, and in all honesty who else was it gonna be? What the hell did I say to her?

She was right, we weren't really friends anymore. The last time we'd spoken she'd called me a pathetic looser and then laughed when Jess tripped me in gym.

But I couldn't just turn my back on her, we had been close once.

Opening the door I found Bella standing there, she wasn't crying now but she looked so lost.

"Hi." she mumbled looking at the floor.

"Hey come in." I stood back.

She hesitated for a second before stepping inside.

I directed her to the lounge and headed to the kitchen to grab two sodas and the bowl of chicken, if anyone was in need of comfort food it was Bella.

She was sat on the sofa playing with the sleeve of her sweater. I sat down next to her placing everything on the coffee table in front of us.

"I don't know why I'm here." she mumbled almost to herself "I'm such an idiot Alice." her eyes were down.

"Why?" I asked softly when she didn't say anymore.

"Because of everything, I've ruined my life!" she burst out "God, I so wanted to be popular, to be invited to the cool parties, to be protected within that group and it just fucked everything up."

I had no idea what she was talking about so I stayed quiet as she let it all out.

"It was Edward really, I wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to want me." she scoffed "And look where that's got me."

"Edward loves you." I said softly, it was pretty obvious.

She shook her head "He wont now." tears started falling down her cheeks again.

Scooting over I wrapped her in my arms letting her cry against me again.

"Bella what's happened?" I asked worry washing over me.

"I'm pregnant." she sobbed out.

I felt my eyes widen in shock, had not seen that coming.

"Are you sure?" I asked feeling her nod against me.

"I did the test yesterday. I was trying to tell him at lunch but he was more interested in something Mike was saying. That's how I ended up crying in the toilets."

"And why do you think Edward wont still love you?" I asked, hating myself for wondering if it wasn't his.

She pulled back "Are you kidding me? He's not going to want a baby Alice, he has plans for a future."

She grabbed her soda from the table and took a few swigs.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?" I asked carefully.

Bella tried to glare at me but there was no real venom in it and all too soon her shoulders slumped.

"I don't know." she sobbed "I don't know what to do."

I chewed my lip knowing I was going to regret this "If you want I'll come to the clinic with you, find out what your options are."

I couldn't help it, she needed someone.

She looked up at me her eyes wary "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

I shrugged grabbing some chicken to occupy my hands.

"I don't blame you for taking the easy way out B." I said slowly "I don't hate you for not wanting to deal with their bullying, I understand." I thought for a moment "The ten years we were friends, the birthday parties, the sleepovers, the time we tried to go camping in the forest and ended up back at your house because we got spooked by that owl. That all still means something to me." I shrugged unsure how else to explain it. "I can't just turn my back on you B, not when you need me the most."

"But I did." she said softly "I didn't just turn my back on you Alice, I fucking stabbed you in the back. I gave them ammunition to use against you, I sat back and watched for three years while they broke you down. I fucking joined in! why don't you hate me?"

I shrugged again my eyes flickering to a picture of my parents.

"Life's too short to hold a grudge Bella."

She shook her head looking at me in wonder "You are an extraordinary person Alice." she whispered "I'm sorry." her voice broke again "Alice I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." I murmured hugging her again.

"No it's not." she sobbed "I've been such a bitch to you, I don't deserve for you to be my friend, but right now I really need you to be because I don't know what to do.""

She collapsed into me sobbing and I held her tight, maybe I was being a pushover forgiving her so easily but I couldn't just let her deal with this alone.

Once she'd calmed down she headed to the bathroom to clean up a little and I took the time to call Jasper.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked.

I smiled at the sound of his voice "Yeah I'm fine, just thought I'd call you while I had the chance."

"Bella took your offer then." he had a weird tone to his voice.

"Yeah." I answered wondering what was wrong with him "Is that a problem?"

He sighed heavily sending static down the line.

"No." he chuckled "You're a pretty remarkable person you know."

I giggled "B said that too. I just don't have the ability to hold a grudge. It's not necessarily a good thing."

"It's better than holding onto your anger like I nearly did." he sounded sad and I wanted to be with him.

"Yeah but you did let it go." I pointed out.

"Yeah." he sighed again "Sorry, I just miss you, I'm thinking too much. You go enjoy your girl time. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah you will." I smiled "And just so you know I miss you too."

Jasper chuckled down the phone "Bye Mini."

"Bye Jazz." I hung up.

"You really like him huh?"

I jumped a little at the sound of Bella's voice behind me.

My cheeks heated up as I nodded, I loved him. Of course I wasn't going to admit that to Bella.

I hadn't been lying I really didn't hold a grudge about her turning her back on me and I would stand by her if she needed me. But I wasn't stupid, I wasn't about to blurt all my deep dark secrets out to her.

I had no guarantee that come tomorrow everything wouldn't be back to normal and the fact I was in love with him wasn't something I wanted Jasper to find out from Mike Newton.

"Lauren's so jealous he chose you not her." Bella said sitting down next to me.

I shrugged "I have no idea why he did." I mumbled.

Bella chuckled "I do." she said quietly, squeezing my hand.

We spent the rest of the night reminiscing, which made Bella apologise a few more times.

By the time she had to head home it was almost like the past three years hadn't happened, I had my best friend back.

* * *

**Ok so a lot happened in that chapter, maybe I should have spilt it into two. Well too late now.**

**So obviously things have now progressed for Alice and Jasper and I would like your input on whether, in the future you want some nice lemony action or if you believe less is more and to just leave it to your own imaginations.**

**You have the power, so let me know what you think**. **xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: ****I don not own Twilight. **

* * *

**Chapter 11: Trial and punishment.**

Alice's pov

As usual Jasper was waiting for me as I arrived at school the next day.

"You have a good night?" he asked after kissing me.

I shrugged "It was ok, bit weird." I admitted "How's about you?"

"Really boring." he grinned at me "But on the positive side I'm up to date with all my homework."

My heart swelled with affection for him when he didn't press into what had been wrong with Bella.

I didn't see her until lunch time. Me and Jasper were sat making plans for that night. He wanted to take me out somewhere.

She came into the cafeteria alone, once she had her lunch she hesitated for a second before heading over to our table.

"Hey, can…can I join you?" she asked hesitantly.

I glanced over at Jasper who shrugged "It's ok with me." he said smiling at me.

I smiled back "Sure B."

"Thanks." she sighed in relief and sat down beside me.

I noticed Jasper staring across the cafeteria.

"I think Edward's gone into shock." he said lightly before returning his attention to his lunch.

"Good." Bella spat harshly taking a long drink of water.

I could sense the curiosity burning in Jasper but he kept quiet.

"Have you had a chance to talk to him yet?" I asked Bella gently.

She shook her head "No, he's always been with Tyler or Mike and when I ask him if we can talk he just tells me 'later'" she sighed "I still don't know how to tell him, and I'm terrified of how he'll react." she admitted in a small voice.

I had no idea what to say to her. I had never had to deal with this kind of thing before and even if I did ever find myself in Bella's position I couldn't imagine feeling like I couldn't talk to Jasper.

I looked over at him now to find him frowning at Bella.

"What's happened Bella?" he finally asked.

She looked up at me in shock "You haven't told him?" she asked.

I shrugged wondering if she was upset about that "It wasn't my place to tell anyone." I mumbled.

"I really don't deserve you." Bella said softly.

Jasper chuckled "Yeah, I tell her that a lot too."

I felt my face heat up and busied myself nibbling on some carrot sticks.

Bella sighed beside me "I'm pregnant." she whispered to Jasper, filling him on the details I'd received the night before.

Jasper let out a soft whistle as he took everything in.

"You want me to try and talk to him?"

Both me and Bella looked up at Jasper in shock.

He shrugged "Just a thought."

Bella smiled "Thanks, but I don't think that will help."

Jasper's eyes flickered back to the other side of the cafeteria "Yeah you could be right." he agreed.

Bella ended up sitting next to me in French after lunch and it felt like we were back in junior high.

I teased Bella unceremoniously about the crush she had had on Emmett.

"You can talk." Bella shot back, her face bright red "You fancied my dad."

I felt my own face flush "No I didn't." I stammered.

Bella laughed "Yeah, that's believable Alice!"

Charlie Swann was the local Police chief and I'll admit I had had a bit of a hero worship crush on him when I was younger but it had quickly fizzled out.

"I don't anymore." I insisted.

Bella laughed more "Well I don't fancy Emmett anymore."

We quickly moved on to a new topic of conversation.

"I've missed this." I admitted keeping my eyes down as I wrote out some French verbs.

"Yeah me too." Bella mumbled "Jess and Lauren, well it was never the same."

It may seem smug but that made me smile.

Ever since I'd met Jasper I knew I had become a lot more self confident and it was nice to hear people did actually appreciate me.

I thought for a second then decided to push my luck a little "Do you regret it?" I asked slowly.

Bella frowned at me "Regret what?"

I kept my eyes down "You and Edward."

"No." she said with a heavy sigh "I do love him and I know he loves me, I'm glad he was my first and I don't regret that but I wish it hadn't all resulted in this."

I looked up at her, could I trust her? It would be nice to have someone to talk to about me and Jasper, how I was feeling. But could I trust Bella?

Letting out a sigh I turned back to my notepad, I was still reserving judgement on that.

No matter how easily me and Bella had slipped back into our old friendship it didn't mean the past three years hadn't happened, something Lauren and Jessica were happy to remind me of at the end of the day.

My heart stopped when I saw them next to my car with Mike, Tyler and Edward.

"McCarty we've been waiting for you." Mike said in a friendly tone that made my blood run cold.

I swallowed and moved closer hoping to distract their attention away from my car.

"Just a little question really." he said still with a friendly tone "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" the polite tone dropped and he practically growled that at me.

"I…I don't…" I stammered.

"Don't act stupid, you know exactly what he's talking about." Jessica hissed "First Jasper, now Bella. I think you need a little reminder of how things work around here."

My eyes widened as she turned back to my car.

"Don't." I begged pointlessly "Please, it's not…I didn't."

"This car is a piece of crap McCarty. You know if it got wrecked you could claim on the insurance and get a new one."

Jessica turned to smile at me "In a way we're doing you a favour."

Pulling her car key out she moved it very slowly towards the door.

I moved to stop her only for Mike to grab my arm painfully.

"Please don't." I begged again struggling in his grip.

Lauren laughed cruelly as Jess scratched a long line into the yellow paint, I winced at the screech of metal on metal.

Tyler hefted a rock ready to throw and I heard a sob break out of me. Mike's fingers tightened as I struggled again.

"Get your filthy hands off her!"

Everyone froze at the sound of Jasper's voice.

* * *

Jasper's pov

My head was most defiantly on other things during my afternoon classes.

I was actually grateful Bella had sat with us at lunch, it meant she hadn't been using Alice last night.

I wasn't sure how to react to the revelation she was pregnant, it was clear she was terrified of what Edward's reaction would be which was the main reason I'd offered to try and talk to him first.

I tried to think how I'd feel if Alice told me she was pregnant.

_Pretty shocked seeing as how you're not having sex._

Thanks, that's helpful!

When the bell sounded for end of day I had come to the rather sad conclusion it came down to two things. Edward would either man up and stand by Bella or let her fall while he stayed safe in Mike's posse.

Me and Alice hadn't really had chance to finalise our plans at lunch so I decided to go home and change before heading over to her house.

There was a weird tingling at the base of my neck as I headed to my car, with a frown I glanced around the car park, my eyes narrowed focusing in on Mike as he grabbed hold of Alice's arm.

That fucker was dead!

My bag dropped to the floor by my car as I moved forward, blind to everything but Mike as Alice struggled against his hold.

"Get your filthy hands off her!" I growled at him.

Mike looked around in surprise but his grip didn't loosen.

Big mistake!

My own hand tightened around his wrist ripping his hand from her arm. My other arm wrapped around Alice pulling her safely to my side.

I saw Mike wince and smiled in satisfaction as my fingers tightened.

"Not nice is it." I snarled before dropping his arm and turning to Alice.

I took her face between my hands "Are you ok?" I asked softly taking in her trembling body and tear filled eyes and pretty much answering my own question.

Her eyes flickered past me to her car and she gave a small sob. I followed her gaze and saw the long line scratched into the side.

The damage wasn't major but I knew how much Alice's car meant to her, it was a link to her parents which was sacred and they'd nearly wrecked it.

"This has got nothing to do with you Whitlock." Mike snapped.

Turning back I glared at him "You ever touch my girlfriend again Newton and I'll fucking kill you!"

"Girlfriend." Lauren scoffed, I just ignored her.

"You understand, this ends now." I stated.

I had had more than enough of this shit.

Mike just laughed "Hey she know the rules." he jabbed a finger at Alice and I nearly broke it off.

"I said it ends now!" I spoke slowly through gritted teeth.

Mike pulled back his hand scowling at me.

"I warned you not to do this Jay." Edward said.

Turning to him I shook my head angrily, he was in no position to tell me what to do.

"Ed, do yourself a favour and sort your own life out before you start advising people on theirs." I snapped at him.

He glared back but I was on a roll.

"You know maybe if Bella got the chance to talk to you she wouldn't have needed Alice."

Edward stepped forward anger etched into his face.

"Maybe." he growled at me "If your _girlfriend _remembered her place we wouldn't have to keep reminding her."

"Worry about your own girlfriend Mason." I smirked "Well if you still have one!"

His fist breezed past my cheek as I barely dodged it, pushing Alice to the side out of harms way, my own fist swung forward hitting him square in the jaw. Edward leapt forward tackling me to the ground.

We scuffled pointlessly on the ground for a while before I felt someone pull Edward off me and drag me to my feet.

Both of us were breathing heavily glaring at each other, Mr. Banner held Edward back.

"You two detention now!" the principal yelled pushing me roughly towards the school. I took a quick glance back to find Alice alone by her car. The others must have fled when they saw the teachers coming.

Well at least they wouldn't be hurting her now.

Me and Edward were sat in an empty classroom still glaring daggers at each other as the principal ranted on about unacceptable behaviour.

Unacceptable behaviour!

It took a lot not to scoff at that, wasn't this prick aware of what they'd been doing to Alice since she arrived at this school, or wasn't that classed as 'unacceptable behaviour'.

"He started it." Edward came out with making me roll my eyes.

"From what I saw Mr. Mason you threw the first punch." Mr. Banner spoke up calmly.

I kept my head down to hide my smirk.

"You two need to sort this out, Mr. Banner will be outside this room, and I don't want to hear of any trouble." he warned.

They left and I had to wonder about the discipline system in the school, was this seriously the best way to deal with two boys who moments before had been beating the shit out of each other?

With a sigh I looked over at Edward, I wanted this shit done with so I could go see how Alice was.

He was still glaring at me.

"If you've got something to say Mason just say it."

He shook his head "You know you don't do that kind of thing Jay."

I rolled my eyes "You know I'm getting real sick of being told what I do and don't do! Mike had hold of Alice, he was hurting her. Do you really expect me to stand back and do nothing. Is that what you'd do if it was Bella?"

Edward's eyes dropped "I don't know." he admitted in a quiet voice and I realised Bella's fears were well founded.

"Then you don't deserve to be with her." I said simply.

That made him glare at me again.

"I love Bella." he stated stubbornly but I just shook my head with a sad smile.

"Just not enough to stand up to Mike for her."

"This isn't even about me and Bella." he snapped "Look you chose McCarty so…"

"Yeah I chose her." I cut him off "She had nothing to do with it, it was my choice. Same as it was Bella's choice to sit with us at lunch, so why is it Alice getting punished for that?"

He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out.

"You keep saying 'it's the way things are', 'you don't do that' what does it mean though Ed? I don't like the way things are and I have no intention of just sitting back and accepting them, and I seriously hope for Bella's sake you man the fuck up and realise, that even though you do have the rest of your life to care about shit it doesn't mean you completely disregard it in high school."

With that I crossed my arms and turned to stare at the front of the classroom waiting for someone to come back in and tell me I could go.

"What do you mean for Bella's sake?" Edward asked quietly.

Without looking at him I answered "You need to talk to her and then prove you love her as much as you say, or you are in fact the pathetic spineless prick I think you are."

Luckily before Edward could respond to that Mr. Banner returned, seeing as how we hadn't killed each other we were allowed to go.

Weirdest detention I'd ever received!

Amazingly my bag was still by my car and I headed straight to Alice's house.

I was a little confused to find Emmett's jeep there, it was only Thursday.

Rosalie opened the door for me with a sad smile.

My chest ached as I heard Alice crying in the lounge.

"Is she…" I began but Rosalie cut me off.

"She wont tell us what's happened." she said with a sad sigh "We just found her curled up on the sofa crying."

Emmett had a look near to panic on his face as he held Alice tight.

"Alice." I murmured softly as I walked over to them.

She turned her tear stained face to me.

"Alice, tell them." I said.

She shook her head stubbornly, burying her face back in Emmett's chest.

"Tell me what?" Emmett asked in a strangled voice, he was clearly being pushed to his limit here.

"Alice if you don't I will."

She turned back to me with scared eyes "Don't please." she sobbed.

"Tell us what?" Emmett asked again louder.

I turned my attention to him then "Do you know Mike Newton?" I asked slowly.

His face creased in confusion "Newton, I know the name." his eyes flickered to Alice and I saw fear flicker in his eyes.

"Jasper." Alice sobbed again and for the first time ever I ignored her.

Emmett's breathing picked up and I realised he was jumping to the wrong conclusion seeing as how I'd only mentioned Mike's name."

"Look she's being bullied." I burst out.

Rosalie and Emmett's eyes snapped onto me when I said that.

* * *

Alice's pov

I was crying by the time I got home this time.

They had nearly wrecked my car.

I couldn't even think about what could have happened if Jasper hadn't shown up when he did.

Dropping my bag on the floor as I got inside I headed to the lounge threw myself onto the sofa and curled up crying.

Recently it seemed I'd done nothing but cry. I gave into it again now because I'd had enough.

I had thought things had been getting better just to go and knock me back down again.

"Alice?"

I heard someone call my name and looked up in surprise to find Emmett drop onto the sofa next to me.

"It's Thursday." I said stupidly.

Of course there was a very good probability I had in fact lost my mind and this was all a hallucination.

"Yeah I know." Em said softly "We got Friday off this week, it was a surprise."

One of his big hands came up to wipe my tears away.

"Alice what happened?" he asked.

Instead of answering him I crawled over onto his lap and collapsed into his chest sobbing.

"I'm so glad you're home." I said hugging him tight.

His arms came up wrapping me in his comforting embrace.

"Right now so am I." I heard him mutter as I continued to cry "Alice please tell me what happened." he tried again "I can't help if I don't know." he tried another angle.

"Alice."

Just the sound of his voice calmed me and as I turned to face him everything faded away.

"Alice tell them."

Was he serious? I couldn't tell them. Emmett would hate himself, thinking he'd let me down. I wasn't going to do that.

I turned back burying my face in Emmett's chest and felt him tense.

"Tell me what?"

I just hugged him tighter. God I was putting him through so much.

"Alice if you don't I will."

My eyes looked back at Jasper he was kidding right.

He wouldn't, he couldn't.

I could see in his eyes he was serious about this.

"Don't please." was all I could manage to sob out.

"Tell me what?"

Emmett was at his breaking point and I bit my lip tears streaming down my face as I realised I was at the end of the line, I couldn't keep this form him anymore. He knew something was wrong and he wasn't just going to let it go.

"Jasper." I sobbed again as he started to explain.

"Look she's being bullied."

I felt Emmett's whole body tense and turned back to his chest so I didn't have to look at anyone.

"How long?" I heard Rosalie ask.

"I'm not sure but I think it's around three years." Jasper answered.

Part of me heated up in anger wanting to hate him for his betrayal but at the same time I couldn't. I wanted him to be holding me instead of Emmett, I wanted him to make it better like he always did.

One of Emmett's hands came up to my head and then ran down my hair and back.

"Alice." his voice was soft, the same as it had been during the first conversation after our parents had died. "Alice talk to me." he begged.

I shook my head staying wrapped in his arms.

Unfortunately Emmett was a lot stronger than me so it didn't take much for him to pull me back and force me to look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked his thumbs running over my cheeks were tears continued to fall.

"I…I didn't…want you to worry." I sobbed out quietly.

"Oh Ali." he sighed pulling me back to his chest "It's my job to worry about you and to protect you. If you'd told me I could have done something to help. I'm supposed to be looking after you not the other way around." I could hear the slight annoyance in his voice.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed.

He didn't say anything else until I had calmed down.

As I crawled back to my side of the sofa I looked up into Jasper's concerned eyes.

"Sorry." he murmured.

I shrugged looking away, still not sure how I felt about what he'd done.

"Don't be." Emmett told him "I still can't believe you didn't tell me."

I shrugged again feeling very self conscious seeing as how everyone was looking at me.

"Em, we should unpack." Rosalie said as a subtle way to let me and Jasper have some time alone.

Emmett stood and placed a soft kiss to my heads before following Rose upstairs.

I felt the sofa move as Jasper took a seat next to me.

"I'm sorry Alice but they needed to know." he said quietly.

I shook my head angrily "He's gonna hate himself now."

"Maybe he can put a stop to it." Jasper suggested.

I scoffed "Yeah, that'll happen." I flinched away as he reached over to wrap an arm around me "You know everything was fine." I snapped "I was dealing with it, they were just ignoring me. Then you come along and everything just blows up."

I knew it wasn't fair to blame Jasper but I was angry and upset.

"Would you have preferred for me to ignore you too?" he asked slowly.

I looked up at him then and felt tears sting my eyes again.

God I was so sick of crying!

Shaking my head I threw myself into his arms "No." I sobbed.

"That is very good to know." Jasper whispered. I felt him turn slightly obviously checking Emmett and Rosalie weren't about before lifting my head and kissing me softly.

"Trust me Alice, everything is going to be ok." he murmured before we heard Emmett and Rosalie coming downstairs and quickly moved apart.

I knew it wasn't right to keep lying to Emmett about me and Jasper but there just never seemed to be a good time to tell him, and now defiantly wasn't the time.

"I should be getting home." Jasper stood up.

"You can stay for dinner if you want." Emmett offered.

Jasper just shook his head "Thanks, but you guys need to talk."

"Ok. Well thanks I owe you." Emmett said shaking his hand.

I noticed the slight forced smile Jasper returned, he felt guilty lying to Em too.

I followed Jasper to the door, again checking we were safe before hugging him tight. I felt Jasper lips press to my hair.

"I'll call you later." I promised him.

"Ok Mini." he smiled softly.

I waved him off not really wanting to go back inside being well aware of what was waiting for me.

As I made my way back into the lounge I saw Emmett sat on the sofa with his head in his hands, Rosalie was next to him running a hand over his back and crippling guilt ripped through me.

"I'm sorry Em." I mumbled shuffling my feet nervously.

His head snapped up to me and he let out a deep breath.

"Alice come here." him and Rosalie shifted apart so I was forced to sit between them, my hands twisted nervously in my lap and I kept my eyes on them.

"Three years?" Emmett asked.

I nodded slowly.

"Did mum and dad know?"

I shook my head, no.

"Are you gonna tell me who they are exactly? I'm guessing there's more than just Mike Newton."

I chewed my lip and stayed quiet glancing up as Rosalie placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I can understand you don't want us to worry Alice." she said softly "I really can, but if we know who they are we can talk to their parents let them know what's been going on and put a stop to it."

I took a deep breath and looked back at my hands, there was nothing to be gained from keeping quiet now.

"Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Lauren Mallory and Tyler Crowley mainly."

I thought for a minute about saying Edward but I didn't want to make life harder for Bella so I kept him out of it, for now.

"What happened today that upset you so much?" Rosalie pushed gently.

My eyes snapped up to look at my car through the window as I remembered how this had all started.

"They were gonna wreck my car." I whispered softly "Jasper stopped them though."

The entire sofa bounced as Emmett shot off it.

"What did they do?" he growled lowly.

Rosalie wrapped her arm around my shoulder throwing Emmett a warning look.

"Jess just scratched the paint, like I said Jasper stopped them before they did too much."

"Well that's easily fixed." Rose said soothingly "We can sort it over the weekend no problem." she hugged me tight. I couldn't keep my eyes off Emmett as he seemed to shake with pent up anger.

"It hadn't been so bad recently." I said slowly "Well not until Jasper ditched them to be friends with me." I played with the sleeve of my sweater.

"How did it start?" Rosalie prompted again, Emmett seemed to be unable to talk.

I shrugged to be honest I wasn't sure "Lauren just said something one day." I said thinking back "I don't even remember what, but the others laughed and it just sort of carried on. Most the time it's easy to ignore them but with my car…" I trailed off as Emmett actually growled.

"Calm down baby." Rosalie told him.

He shook his head turning back to us "I'm driving you to school tomorrow." he stated.

My eyes widened at what was implied "Em don't."

"I'm driving you to school." he stated "It's either that or you're not going."

Me and Rose shared a look as he stormed out of the room.

"I should get started on dinner." I moved to climb off the sofa but Rose pulled me back.

"You shouldn't have kept this from us you know." she said seriously.

Biting my lip I looked down "I know."

"You have to tell us if anything like this is happening ok? If something is bothering you we're here for you."

I nodded "I know I'm sorry."

She hugged me "That's ok. Just don't do it again."

Emmett seemed to have calmed down by the next morning. I was a little nervous as we pulled up at school.

"I'll pick you up at the end of the day." he said simply.

I hopped out and made my way over to Jasper.

The day past slowly. I didn't see Bella all day and was a little worried when Jasper told me Edward wasn't in either. I guess they were finally talking.

Emmett wasn't there as I came outside and I went to sit on a low wall to wait for him.

"Hey McCarty."

I sighed as Mike called over to me and looked over to where he and the others were heading over to me.

"We've got some unfinished business."

Jess and Lauren laughed.

"Where's your car McCarty?" Tyler asked "Are you afraid we'll hurt it." he said in a stupid baby voice "Arh poor little car got a nasty scratch on it."

I glanced instinctively over to Jasper's car as they moved in to circle me. Mike smiled shaking his head.

"Oh prince charming is not gonna save you this time, he got held back."

Mike reached forward, I had no idea what his intention was but he never got to fulfil it. A large hand descended on his shoulder making him stagger slightly.

I couldn't stop the smile of relief that crossed my face as I looked up into Emmett's blue eyes.

"Hey Alice." he grinned down at me "So are these friends of yours? You should invite them over for dinner one night." he said in a friendly voice but I saw Mike wince as he squeezed his shoulder a little harder than necessary.

"I don't think so Em." I said picking up my bag and moving so I was sheltered by his intimidating frame.

He frowned in exaggerated confusion "So they're not friends of yours?"

I looked around and had to fight hard not to laugh at the looks on their faces.

"Wait, they're not the kids Jasper told us about, the ones that bully you?" Emmett continued slowly as though unaware of the affect he was having. None of them seemed to know what to say.

I kept quiet, I wasn't about to rat them out right in front of them.

"I really hope they're not because the last thing I want is to be a bad role model to my little sister by beating the shit out of a couple of pathetic, cowardly, low lives in front of her." he paused and took out the keys to his jeep "Of course you could always go wait in the car. This shouldn't take long."

The change in him was terrifying, his friendly manner disappeared, his body tightened showing off his muscles, his face was hard his eyes burning with hatred as he glared at the four of them.

I thought for a second about getting him to stop, it was clear they were terrified but then I thought about my car and when Lauren tripped me in the cafeteria and all the other shit I'd put up with for three years.

I took the keys.

"Don't be too long, Rose said we were going out tonight." I reminded him casually before heading for the jeep.

Climbing in I realised I had a perfect view of the scene as it played out before me.

Emmett pulled Mike up by his shirt front, his eyes burning as he growled something at him I couldn't hear. The look of pure fear on Mike's face was priceless and I wished I had a camera on me to capture that moment forever.

I knew Emmett wouldn't actually beat the shit out of them, he was too good for that, but watching as he threatened them was enough.

Finally he dropped Mike who landed on a heap on the floor, another Kodak moment I'd missed.

With a parting glare to each of them Emmett turned and headed towards the jeep.

By the time he got in they had fled.

I giggled happily as Emmett dusted off his hands in a satisfied way and grinned at me.

He ruffled my hair affectionately and started the jeep.

"No one messes with my baby sister!"

* * *

**And that was part one of the comeuppance. There is more to come. xx **

**Review xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: ****The rights to Twilight do not belong to me.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Damned if I do.**

Jasper's pov

I'm sorry I'd missed Emmett's altercation with Mike, he was refusing to tell us exactly what he'd said but whatever it was it worked. Mike and the others had backed off.

Edward and Bella seemed to have made up and hung out on their own now. Alice was a little upset they didn't spend time with us, but I could understand it and in honesty I was grateful because I had enough shit going on in my own life without having to worry about other peoples problems.

I was so nervous about the wedding, as the weeks past drawing it closer, I actually considered telling my dad I couldn't do it. Each time I thought that I coached myself through it and if I couldn't manage it Alice coached me through.

"I've got a dress and everything, you can't bail now." she told me one night as I pondered not going again.

"A dress?" I asked my curiosity spiked.

She grinned at me "Yeah it's red and strapless."

"Tell me more." I pleaded pulling her onto my lap.

Giggling, like the little tease she was, she shook her head "Oh no, if you want to see it I need somewhere special to wear it."

"Does it have a short skirt?" I pressed running my hands over her thighs lightly.

Smirking at me she pushed my hands halfway down her thighs "It comes to about there."

"Can I have a preview?" I asked hopefully, I was liking the sound of this dress.

She shook her head sternly "No. if you want to see it you'll have to be at that wedding."

"You are such a tease." I moaned making her giggle again.

I had decided I was going to drive to Seattle so we would have an escape if we needed it.

Alice stayed over at mine on Thursday night so we could get an early start in the morning.

My mum insisted on separate rooms, despite the fact she knew me and Alice were yet to have sex.

I was too nervous to sleep and contemplated heading over to Alice's room but decided against it, my mum had a sixth sense for that kind of thing.

I ended up getting up and taking a long shower to try and get rid of my nerves. Mum cooked us a big breakfast and we were on our way by 7o'clock.

Alice shuffled in the passenger seat as I drove.

"You ok?" I asked.

She smiled but it seemed a little forced "I'm fine, just a little nervous." she admitted making me smile.

"Don't be." I told her.

"What if he doesn't like me?" she mumbled looking at her hands.

I shook my head "Mini his taste in women doesn't mean shit to me, if he doesn't like you it just proves he's an idiot, which I already knew anyway."

"What's Cindy like?" she asked curiously.

I snorted thinking back "Think Paris Hilton after a lobotomy!"

"Really?" Alice laughed.

I nodded "I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen when we get there. I assume my dads gonna want to spend time with me, telling me what I need to do and shit." I said

"Jazz don't worry, I'm sure I can find something to occupy myself." she leant over to kiss my cheek "Stop worrying so much, everything will be ok." she murmured softly picking up on my fragile nervous state.

All too soon we arrived in Seattle and I made my way slowly to the hotel. My breathing becoming more erratic the closer we got.

I pulled into the car park and cut the engine but didn't move from my seat.

"Jasper."

I looked over at Alice, I knew my face was probably a mask of blind panic. She quickly unclipped her seatbelt and pulled herself over to me wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Everything is going to be fine." she said again.

"I haven't seen him for nearly five months." I said my voice strangely calm.

"I know." she murmured "But you've spoken to him and you know he's excited to see you." she kissed me softly "And I'm here." she whispered.

My arms came up to hold her to me. She was here I could do this.

Opening the door I let Alice climb out before following her. I opened the trunk to take out our bags frowning when Alice took hers off me, she just smiled and took my now free hand in hers.

"I still have time to bail." I said almost to myself.

She bit her lip and glanced up at me smiling in a very sultry way that made my mouth go dry.

"Red strapless dress with a skirt that goes to mid thigh and black stiletto heels." she whispered looking sexier than she ever had before.

I groaned internally as my dick reacted to her, I dreaded to think how I'd cope tomorrow when I finally got to see her in that damn dress.

"Keep that up and I'll end up ripping it off you." I warned not joking.

She just smirked at me.

We made it into the lobby and stopped unsure what to do now.

"Jasper."

I looked over and sucked in a deep breath as I saw my father for the first time in five months.

It was like looking into a mirror in the future, same blonde hair, same strong jaw line, same blue eyes.

He smiled widely and came over to me clapping me on the back. My dads form of affection.

"It's so good to see you. My god you've changed." he took a hold of my shoulders taking a good look at me.

I just stood there like a moron having absolutely no idea what to say to the man.

He glanced over at Alice and I saw him frown.

"And this is?" he asked.

"Alice McCarty." she ended up introducing herself as I continued to just stand there mutely "It's really nice to meet you Mr. Whitlock."

He turned back to me still frowning "I wasn't expecting you to bring a girl, especially when you asked for single rooms. Still not to worry, lets get you checked in."

He pulled me over to the front desk and I glanced back helplessly to find Alice trailing behind us her head down.

"You remember Alisha Curtis don't you? She's Cindy's maid of honour so I got you a double room anyway, just in case." he winked at me and I felt my blood boil.

"Dad I'm here with Alice." I stated.

His eyes flickered back to her before giving me a questioning look "_With _Alice?"

"Yes, as in she's my girlfriend." I growled out through gritted teeth.

"Oh." he seemed genuinely surprised by that "Right, sorry, my mistake." I saw him shoot Alice another look and was getting very close to punching him when someone came to show us to our rooms.

"I'll wait for you here, we have a lot to do today." dad told me.

"I can still bail." I told Alice as we entered the elevator.

She shook her head smiling at me "Don't be silly." she said.

Alice's room was the floor below mine and after I'd put my stuff away I headed back down to her.

She let me in and I got my first peek at her dress hanging in the closet, she quickly shut the door hiding it away.

"You'll see it tomorrow." she said with a smile.

I pulled her into my arms "Thank you for coming with me." I said honestly "I'm sorry, he's a bit of an ass."

Alice shook her head "Jasper it's fine, he's got a lot on his mind."

I leant in to kiss her softly but ended up getting carried away. Alice finally had to push me back.

"You're meant to meet your dad." she panted breathlessly.

Looking down at her flushed and breathless I couldn't have cared less about what my dad had planned for the day.

"Can't I stay here with you?" I asked trying to pull her towards the bed.

She shook her head and tugged me to the door instead.

"You have a responsibility, you're the best man." she grinned at me.

We went down to the lobby hand in hand, more people were there including my dad's two business partners and Cindy with her group of friends.

I noticed my dad frown again as he saw me and Alice holding hands and I had to clench my teeth to stop saying anything to him. I was making an effort here.

"Hi Jasper." Alisha purred over at me as I was spotted "I hear you're the best man."

She moved to stand next to me pretty much blocking Alice and smiled seductively up at me.

"You know the wedding night isn't just special for the bride and groom." she winked at me before making her way back to Cindy.

I glanced down at Alice who was doing a rather impressive job of holding it together.

I squeezed her hand hoping to let her know I had no intention of cheating on her.

She smiled up at me, a smile that was becoming more forced every second we spent here.

"Jasper, you remember Garret and Alistair don't you." my dad said as we reached him.

"Yeah of course, good to see you again." I smiled at the two men I'd known since birth.

Garret grinned back shaking my hand enthusiastically "Hey little buddy." he teased.

I rolled my eyes "That's getting old Garret."

Garret was like the fun uncle, the one that always brought you the best presents and let you get away with things your parents didn't.

His wife Kate was my mums best friend and I knew Garret wasn't impressed by what my dad had done, I was pretty surprised he was here.

"And who, may I ask, is this vision of loveliness?" he asked smiling down at Alice who's cheeks flushed adorably.

"This is Alice, my better half obviously." I grinned as her cheeks flushed darker.

"Charmed mademoiselle." Garret beamed taking her free hand and kissing her knuckles.

"Nice to meet you." she murmured, her smile genuine again.

"Hands off Garrett." I warned jokingly.

Alistair simply nodded at me in greeting.

If Garret was the fun uncle Alistair was most defiantly the dull one. Married to his work he had no family of his own and still lived the carefree bachelor life.

"I was thinking Alice could join the girls while we sorted some stuff out." my dad said giving Alice a slightly patronising smile.

"That'll be fun for her." Garret muttered sarcastically.

Alice's eyes flickered to the giggling group of Barbie wannabes.

"You don't have to." I said to her.

She smiled, the forced one again "It's fine Jazz, you go do some male bonding or whatever."

"We're gonna be out hunting in the forest with spears, naked." Garret teased.

I swear I loved that man as he made Alice giggle happily.

"Ok, I'll see you later." I leant down to kiss her "And don't worry I'm not actually going to be naked in a forest."

"Shame!" she sassed back giving me that fucking unfair sultry look again.

"She's a spitfire Jay." Garret chuckled.

I wasn't really listening because my eyes had zoned in on Alice's ass as she walked over to the girls.

"Right, come on." my dad called and I regretfully took my eyes off Alice and followed him outside.

"I still need to pick up my suit and finalise the cars."

"What do you need cars for?" Garret asked "You're getting married at the fucking hotel, you're not going anywhere."

Dad just shrugged "Cindy wants it done properly."

"Naturally." I heard Garret sigh "And what Cindy wants Cindy gets."

"Why are you here?" I asked Garrett quietly.

He shrugged "He's my business partner, we were friends since college. Besides Kate wanted to use the opportunity of being in Washington to drop in on your mum after, Tanya's here as well."

Tanya was Kate's sister and another close friend to my mum.

"She'll like that, she has a lot to tell them." I grinned

Garret raised an eyebrow at me "Really?" he shot a look at my dads back and winked at me "So your mum's got herself a boyfriend?" he raised his voice a little and I grinned as my dads shoulders tensed and he slowed no doubt to better eavesdrop on our conversation.

"I'm not sure how official it is really, I try to avoid the gory details. But he seems nice enough."

It was no small satisfaction to look up and find my dad frowning at me.

_Yes you have officially lost her buddy! _I thought smugly.

I spent most of the morning with Garret, if he hadn't been there I probably would have left by now. It was strange to think I used to be quite close to my dad, he had been my hero once, but after everything that had happened I suppose we had both changed, at least I knew I had.

I just didn't like who he was anymore, I didn't want to be like him and I didn't want his approval like I used to.

"Why are you here?" Garret repeated my earlier question as I ground my teeth in frustration whilst waiting for my dad to sort out the cars.

I shrugged "At this moment in time I'm not sure." I answered honestly.

We headed back to the hotel for lunch and met with the girls, Alisha spent most of the time flirting shamelessly with me, looking around I was relived to find Garret was looking after Alice.

"So what are we doing after lunch?" I asked my dad keeping my eyes down seeing as how Cindy was perched on his lap.

"We have to run through the ceremony." Cindy answered for him.

I sighed heavily realising I had to be part of that.

Skilfully avoiding Alisha, looks like Lauren had some use after all, I made my way over to Garret frowning when I realised he was alone.

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

"She went for a lie down. To avoid the harpies." he answered "How are you holding up?"

I laughed once without humour "It's only two days, I'll survive." I wasn't so sure if Alice would though.

The wedding rehearsal was dull I was walked through what I was needed to do but mostly just stood there watching.

"You've got an hour then it's my bachelor party." my dad told me after we'd finished.

"Erm right." I hadn't banked on that I wanted to go check on Alice "It wont be much fun if I'm there, I'm only seventeen I wont get in anywhere." I pointed out hoping to get out of it.

"Nonsense, it wont be the same without you. Meet us in the lobby in an hour."

Grumbling I headed up to my room and took a quick shower. Flopping onto my bed just in a towel I grabbed my phone and called Alice.

"Hello?" she sounded like she'd just woke up.

"Hey Mini where are you?" I asked a little concerned.

"In my room. Sorry I must have fallen asleep."

"Oh ok." this was weird, it was almost awkward, I had never had trouble talking to Alice before "Erm look my dad invited me out for his bachelor party. Are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah I'll be fine." she sounded distant and all I wanted was to take her in my arms.

"Alright, I'll probably see you in the morning then?" it came out as a question because I half expected her to be gone by morning.

"Yeah. Have fun Jazz."

"Bye Mini." I hung up almost wishing I hadn't called.

I felt shit about what she'd been treated like by my dad and I hated that I seemed to be ignoring her. I didn't want to, I wanted to be spending time with her but I was here trying to make an effort with my dad.

I had agreed to be his best man and that job came with responsibility.

The bachelor party was ok, we went to a few bars and I was surprised I was actually let in, it was getting close to midnight and Alistair had suggested going to a strip club I made my excuses and headed back to the hotel with Garret.

"You not in the mood for beautiful women scantily clad and jiggling around you?" Garret asked with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow at him "You're not either." I pointed out.

Garret laughed "Yeah but that's because Kate would happily castrate me if ever I was."

I chuckled "Yeah well I'm starting to see the appeal of being a one women man myself." I frowned.

God I hated what alcohol did to me! I hadn't even had that much.

Garret clapped me on the back "My little buddy is growing up!" he wiped an imaginary tear away grinning as I scowled at him. "Just treat her right Jay." he said as we arrived at the hotel and went are separate ways.

"I'm trying to." I said softly.

I knew Alice was probably asleep by now but I still sent her a goodnight message.

I fell onto my bed fully dressed with a heavy sigh.

The strip club hadn't appealed to me but I needed something. I hadn't had sex in five months. I chuckled in a self disgust.

_Five months! Christ Jazz call the fucking papers!_

I growled angrily, my mind pulling up images of Alice remembering the way it felt when I kissed her, the times I'd touched her, when I'd made her cum. What else I could do to her.

"Stop it!" I growled sitting up and running my hands over my face. My fingers gripped my hair.

God this was torturous, being around my dad again it was like I was turning back into my old player self, all I could think about was sex.

_Yeah cause normally it never crosses your mind!_

I needed…something.

I looked up as I heard the door to my room open. My mouth dropped as I saw Alisha standing there wearing some very sexy red lace lingerie.

"Need a nightcap?" she purred her hips swayed seductively as she walked forward crawling up onto the bed next to me.

* * *

Alice's pov

_I was doing this for Jasper. I was doing this for Jasper. I was doing this for Jasper._

I repeated over and over in my head as I made my way over to the small group of girls standing in the lobby.

"You must be Alice." A blonde threw me a dazzling smile. "I'm Cindy."

I tensed a little in shock as she came and hugged me.

"That's Alisha, Leanne and Jennie." she pointed to the others.

"Hi." I smiled politely feeling very underdressed in my jeans, sweater and converse. They were all in skirts and heels.

"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow." Cindy squealed "I feel so lucky, don't I just have the greatest guy."

Alisha rolled her eyes "Hey you can keep the father, I'll take the son."

My stomach churned.

"Jasper is defiantly hot." Jennie agreed.

"Hey hands off, he's the best man I'm the maid of honour. He's mine."

I gritted my teeth. _Actually bitch he's mine!_

I didn't say that of course. I had to make nice for Jasper's sake, I was here for him and I wasn't about to make this harder for him by falling out with these people.

The morning was just a blur, I spent most of it biting my tongue as crude remarks got passed about my boyfriend.

I felt about five years old listening to them all talking about sex so casually.

By lunch time I was wishing I'd taken Jasper's offer to just stay in my room with him all day.

"You survived!" Garret exclaimed happily as we met up for lunch.

"Just, although I think my IQ dropped a few points." I joked.

I liked Garret, he was one of the only people who'd actually been nice to me.

I clenched my teeth again as I saw Alisha fling herself at Jasper, a slight feeling of unease settled into my stomach when he didn't move away.

_It's just for the wedding, she's maid of honour, he's best man they had things to talk about. Everything was fine._

My appetite fled and I just pushed my food around the plate for a while before making some excuse about feeling tired and fleeing to my room.

Trying to distract myself I put on a movie and sorted through what I planned on wearing tomorrow, make-up I'd need, underwear, shoes.

When everything was in order I settled on the bed trying to keep my mind blank but it didn't want to stay quiet.

All I could see was Alisha and Jasper. Christ they even looked good together! Everyone seemed to think they should be together. Tears stung my eyes, not to mention she was more than willing to give him what he wanted, what I couldn't.

Maybe he'd be better off if I let him go, his dad obviously thought he deserved better than me, everyone could see it.

I was just kidding myself.

If I loved him I'd wouldn't keep holding him back like I was doing, but then he'd asked me to come with him, he told me he needed me, he had told me he was willing to go slow for me.

But how slow? Was he getting bored waiting? Now he'd seen what he could be having in Alisha would he still want me?

I curled up trying to stop thinking eventually I must have fallen asleep.

The ring of my phone woke me in the evening.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Hey Mini, where are you?" Jasper asked sounding worried.

"I'm in my room. Sorry I must have fallen asleep." I sat up stretching.

"Oh ok. Erm look my dad invited me out for his bachelor party, are you gonna be ok?"

I felt tears prick my eyes for some stupid reason "Yeah I'll be fine." I tried to sound convincing.

"Alright. I'll probably see you in the morning then?" he asked.

"Yeah. Have fun Jazz."

"Bye Mini." he hung up.

"I love you." I murmured, more tears formed in my eyes and I wiped them away angrily.

Why was I being so stupid?

I spent the night worrying about everything again.

Just past midnight I got a message from Jasper it simply said.

_Sweet dreams Mini x_

I took that as a sign the bachelor party was over and he was back in his room. I headed up there, I needed to see him, talk to him. I just needed him.

My heart seemed to stop beating as I neared his room and saw Alisha using a key card letting herself in, she was dressed in some very revealing lingerie.

I couldn't breath properly as I stared at the door, waiting for him to kick her out.

I mean he had to kick her out right.

Time ticked on and I was still stood there tears flowing freely down my face.

"Alice?"

A familiar voice asked behind me but I couldn't take my eyes off Jasper's door.

"Alice, honey what's wrong?" Garret knelt down in front of me.

"She…he…" was all I managed to stammer.

"Garret?" a female voice spoke up sounding concerned.

"I don't know Kate. Alice tell me what's wrong." he asked me calmly.

"She…she went…she's still…in there." I sobbed out.

How much time had passed? Enough surely.

Pain exploded in my chest and I sobbed out, one hand came up to clutch at my chest trying to block the pain, God how could it hurt this much?

The door suddenly opened.

"What is your problem?" I heard Alisha hiss angrily.

Garret stood up next to me.

"Right now you are." I heard Jasper growl "Now which part of fuck off are you finding hard to understand?"

"I can't believe you're gonna turn me down." Alisha grumbled.

My breathing started to calm down, nothing had happened.

"I have a girlfriend." Jasper growled "But even if I didn't this still would not be happening."

As I calmed down my anger increased, I had had enough of this bitch! I had had enough of people treating me like I didn't exist!

I strode forward purposely. Jasper looked over finally noticing me.

"Alice…"

I didn't give him a chance to say anything else, pushing in front of Alisha I took his face between my hands and pulled his head down bringing his lips to mine in a searing kiss.

He was taken back for a second before his arms locked around me pulling me closer, his mouth moved with mine, our tongues battling fiercely, before I could get too carried away I broke away. Looking over my shoulder I glared at Alisha who was stood there open mouthed.

My message was pretty clear.

Stay away bitch he's mine!

She scowled at me but I was not backing down and with a huff she turned and strode back down the corridor.

I turned back to find Jasper still looking a bit dazed.

"Now that is what I call staking your claim!"

We both jumped a little at the sound of Garret's voice, I had completely forgotten he was there and I felt my face heat up.

He was grinning at us his arms wrapped around a blonde women I assumed was his wife Kate.

"Well now the excitements over we're off to bed. See you two love birds in the morning."

And like that it was just me and Jasper.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled his hands wiping my still damp cheeks.

I shook my head taking his face between my hands again to make him look at me "Don't be, you didn't do anything wrong."

His head fell forward to rest on my shoulder.

I bit my lip "Are you gonna invite me in?" I asked hesitantly.

Jasper pulled back to look at me before stepping back, I wandered in looking around the room "This is nicer than my room." I observed.

"Alice." he warned as I moved to sit on the bed.

"I know I wanted separate rooms but would it be ok if I stayed here tonight?" I asked softly.

I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed "If that's what you want." he said.

Smiling I crawled under the duvet and pulled off my jeans and socks. I looked back over to notice Jasper hadn't moved "You gonna join me?"

He moved forward as though ordered and slid into the bed beside me removing his own jeans and shirt.

"Alice." he warned again as I moved closer to him.

"Is this too much?" I asked softly.

Jasper looked down at me seriously "It depends what your intentions are."

I rolled onto my back with a sigh and felt tears sting my eyes. "Nothing's going to happen."

I heard Jasper sigh softly.

"Do you mind?" I asked after a few minutes silence.

"Mind what?" he asked sounding confused.

I kept my eyes on the ceiling "That we don't have sex?"

"No it doesn't bother me."

I turned to look at him and smiled. "Liar."

"Ok." he let out a soft laugh "It bothers me, but I understand why we don't and I have no intention of forcing you."

I looked back up at the ceiling. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you had done something you know." I said softly "I mean I'm the one who's holding out right."

"Alice stop it." he said sternly "Nothing happened."

I rolled to look at him "I know, I'm just saying I wouldn't blame you if it had, I mean she is gorgeous. And willing."

Jasper shook his head angrily "You don't get it do you?" he growled.

"Get what?" I asked frowning.

He brought one hand up to cup my face "I don't want to just have sex. I want to have sex with you. The way I act, the things I do, my lack of self control is because of you. Not because I'm just some horny teenager who wants to get laid. You drive me absolutely crazy and you don't even realise it do you?" he chuckled his hand moved lower so his fingers could brush lightly over my collar bone.

I thought about that for a second but shook my head, I mean there was no way I could get that kind of reaction from Jasper and someone like Alisha, dressed in virtually nothing, couldn't.

"You're right I don't get it." I murmured.

"Ok." Jasper said calmly. The next second he had rolled over on top of me, my body began to heat up at the feeling of him pressed against me and my heart beat sped up as I looked into his dark blue eyes.

"Being this close to you kills me Alice." he murmured his head dipping so he could run his lips up my neck "Because I want you so badly."

I swallowed thickly, I could feel something pressing into my thigh, but rather than the normal embarrassment it made me feel excited? I wasn't sure, but I liked it.

Jasper chuckled as our eyes met "That is all you." he said before rolling off me.

I shook my head trying to clear the fog of lust that seemed to have taken over my brain.

"It's only you Alice and it has been ever since that first time I came to your house and caught sight of your gorgeous ass in those jeans." he smirked at me.

"Really?" I asked still not 100% certain.

"Really." he assured "You are the only girl I think about in that way."

I felt my cheeks burn and looked away form him "So you think of me when you…you know."

He seemed confused "When I?"

"When you need to…deal with that problem." I muttered my face probably bright red by now.

"Oh." Jasper suddenly understood and chuckled "Yeah I think of you. Is that ok?"

I bit my lip smiling up at him, my body was heating up again at the thought of him thinking of me as he got himself off "Yeah it's ok." I squeaked "It's actually kind of hot." I admitted to him.

Jasper moaned softly and rolled onto his side to look at me, carefully keeping a distance between us.

"I have thought about it too you know." I said biting my lip.

"Alice I don't think this is the right time to be discussing this." he said in a tight voice.

"We do need to talk about this though." I said "Jasper the truth is I don't have anyone else to talk too, I mean I don't know…anything really, only stuff you overhear or see on TV or read about, I mean I don't…I don't know…"

"Mini, stop, stop panicking." his hands came up to my face calming me. "I know we need to talk about it but preferably when we're not sharing a bed. My self restraint isn't the best as it is."

I giggled a little "Ok, sorry. Just one more question." I pleaded.

He sighed his forehead pressed to mine "One more, but don't blame me if I jump on you." he warned.

"Is that a promise?" I asked.

"Alice." he said sternly "I'm serious."

"Ok, I'm sorry." I took a deep breath "How did you know you were ready, you know, to have sex?"

He let out a long breath "I don't really know." he said slowly "I reached 15 girls started to notice me more, I don't know Alice." he sounded annoyed all of a sudden, "I just was."

"Ok." I murmured wriggling down into the bed. That hadn't been very helpful and I'd just managed to annoy Jasper.

"What's this about?" Jasper asked softly.

"You want to have sex with me." I said simply "I just want to know when I'm going to want the same."

"Alice, can we please stop talking about this for now." he begged.

"Ok." I conceded "We should get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

I wriggled around to get comfy and felt Jasper's arms snake around my waist pulling me back against his chest.

"This ok?" he asked softly.

"Yes." I murmured feeling my body reacting to the feeling of his firm chest against my back "I'm comfy." I giggled.

His lips descended to kiss my neck. "Good." he said his arms tightening slightly.

I tried to keep my breathing steady and relaxed against him a smile on my face as I fell asleep.

* * *

**So who thought Jasper was going to cheat? yes, no, maybe. Anyone?**

**Reviews make me smile xx**


	13. Chapter 13

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Disclaimer:

**This is a work of fiction that in no way intends to infringe on the rights of Twilight.**

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* * *

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Chapter 13: Love and Marriage

Alice's pov

Waking up with Jasper's arms wrapped around me was probably the greatest feeling ever.

I could tell he was already awake because his fingers were gently massaging my stomach through the cotton of my t-shirt.

I wriggled around so I could face him and he smirked down at me in his way that made my heart flip.

"What time is it?" I asked becoming rather distracted as I came face to face with his bare chest.

"Nearly nine, if you want breakfast we should probably get up." he answered making no attempt to move.

Almost of their own accord my hands came up to map the planes of his firm chest following the light trail of hair down, he let out a breath ruffling my hair his hands sneaking under the back of my t-shirt.

My hands went to his shoulders so I could pull myself up to kiss him.

He groaned softly and rolled himself away.

"We should defiantly go to breakfast." he said his eyes shut tight as he lay on his back and I realised I was pushing his limits of control again.

I thought seriously about pushing him further, until he wouldn't be able to stop.

With a sigh I rolled to the edge of the bed and grabbed my jeans pulling them on..

"Can we make a pit stop at my room so I can pick up a clean top?" I asked.

Jasper flung one of his shirts across the bed to me, I frowned at him and he smirked back.

"Hey last night you staked your claim, now I'm staking mine." he moved around the bed and grabbed my hips pulling me against him "And you Miss. Alice are all mine." he growled.

My body seemed to like that declaration as it melted against his and I thought about pushing him back onto the bed.

Before that thought could gain anymore momentum Jasper moved back to carry on getting dressed and I grabbed his shirt and headed for the bathroom to change.

Naturally the shirt was miles too big and I tucked it into my jeans a little before checking myself in the mirror, it strangely suited me which made me smile and I was thrilled Jasper wanted to show the world that I was his.

I stole some mouthwash just to freshen up and ran my fingers through my hair to try and tame it a little, realising I wasn't going to get better than this I headed back out to find Jasper waiting for me.

His eyes roved over me rather obviously making my cheeks flush.

"You can keep that shirt." he said with a smirk wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close so he could kiss and nibble my neck.

My eyes fluttered closed with a soft moan "Jasper breakfast." I gasped out breathlessly as my knees threatened to fold.

Jasper's dad waved him over to the head table the minute we arrived, realising there was only room for Jasper my heart sank a little and I made to let go of his hand but his fingers tightened and he pulled me to another table where two blonde women sat.

"Morning ladies, looking as beautiful as ever." Jasper said giving them a quick kiss on the cheek "Look I've been summoned, so can I leave Alice here in you're capable hands."

I smiled nervously as they both looked me over.

"Always the charmer Jasper." one joked.

"Of course Tanya, I am a good southern gentleman after all." he layered on his accent thick making my knees feel weak again.

"Go do your duty, we'll take care of her. Lord knows how much she suffered being forced to spend time with the Barbie's yesterday." the other smiled warmly at me pulling out the chair beside her for me.

"You gonna be ok?" Jasper asked me I nodded and he leant in to kiss me "I'll see you in a bit." he said before heading over to his father.

With a slightly regretful sigh I sat down pouring myself some juice from the jug on the table.

"So you're Alice." I looked up to see Tanya smiling at me "We've actually heard quite a bit about you."

"Really?" I squeaked nervously.

"Yeah, Esme's told us lots about the girl who tamed her son." she teased "I'm Tanya and this is my sister Kate." she introduced.

"We've met." Kate grinned at me "Although you may not remember, you seemed a bit preoccupied."

My eyes widened as I recognised her as the blonde standing with Garret last night "Oh god." I moaned burying my head in my hands.

"Looks like it was a good night in the end." she teased gently tugging the sleeve of Jasper's shirt and causing my cheeks to burn.

I shook my head firmly feeling incredibly embarrassed that's what people assumed.

"Hey how are my two, oh I mean three favourite girls doing?" Garret grinned as he sat down next to Kate "Hey Alice, looks like you had a good night."

"No." I said quickly keeping my eyes down.

"Honestly you two leave her alone." Tanya came to my defence.

The breakfast was served and I stayed quiet as they talked amongst themselves.

"Alice where are you sitting for the ceremony?" Kate suddenly asked me.

"I'm not sure." I admitted realising Jasper would be stood at the front with his dad.

"She can sit with us." Garret spoke around a mouthful of food. Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"That's what I was about to suggest." she said.

Garret grinned at her "Great minds think alike."

"Thanks." I smiled gratefully.

We stayed quiet as we ate before curiosity got the better of me.

"If you're friends with Esme how come you came to the wedding?" they looked up at me and I quickly dropped my eyes back to the table "Sorry I shouldn't have asked that."

I heard Garret chuckle a little.

"I had to come, as much as I hate what he's done me and Ant go back years and we're still friends, in a way. Kate and Tanya tagged along so they could go see Esme after, oh and to bitch of course."

"He makes us sound like two bitter old women who don't want anyone to be happy." Tanya sighed shaking her head at Garret.

"What about you?" Kate asked.

I shrugged "Jasper needed me." I said simply.

Kate and Tanya shared a look. "You've got it bad girl."

I felt my cheeks heat up again, I knew that.

Jasper came back over when we were finished.

"Sorry about that." he flopped next to me looking worn out.

"It's ok." I murmured taking hold of his hand under the table, his fingers tightened around mine sending warmth spreading up my arm.

He ran his other hand over his face tiredly "I'm gonna be busy most of the day, will you be ok?"

I rolled my eyes smiling at him "I'll be fine Jazz, I can take care of myself." I teased.

He sighed heavily resting his head on my shoulder. "On the bright side you'll be sitting with me for the evening meal." his face darkened a little and I knew he'd had to fight his dad for that.

"Good." I squeezed his hand "I'll admit though I am a little worried."

Jasper's head snapped up and he frowned I smiled at him.

"You seem to have gone through so much since we got here." I sighed "I'm just not sure if my dress is going to be worth it anymore."

I grinned up at him and, like I'd hoped, his face smoothed into his cocky smirk.

"Oh I'm sure it will be, especially if I do get the chance to rip it off you!" he mumbled huskily leaning forwards.

Our lips were less than an inch apart when someone cleared their throat loudly making us jump apart.

"Don't mind us!" Garret smirked at us.

I blinked looking around and remembered we were still sat in the restaurant.

Jasper threw Garret a playful glare before turning back to me "See what you do to me!" he growled.

"Jasper."

He groaned hiding his face in my shoulder as his dad called him again.

"I'll be fine." I assured before he could ask.

Giving me a quick kiss on the cheek he stood up without much enthusiasm "I'll see you later."

* * *

Jasper's pov

After breakfast I was dragged around like my dad's fucking PA, meeting and greeting the guests arriving today, organising the deliveries of flowers and the cateress.

I was so grateful this time tomorrow I'd be back home.

Twenty four hours that's all it was, I could last twenty four hours.

With only two hours to go before the ceremony I managed to escape to get a shower and change into my suit.

Huffing in discomfort I took a look at myself in the mirror, my hair was slicked back for once and the charcoal designer suit probably cost more than the rest of my wardrobe put together. This was so not me!

If I ever got married it would be a hell of a lot more casual than this. I tugged at he knot of my tie, it wasn't tight but it felt like it was choking me.

I didn't care what anyone said I was not dressing up for prom!

I headed back to the lobby and spent some time smiling politely as I was reintroduced to various people I'd known growing up.

I noticed Garret with Kate and Tanya standing to one side and made my way over.

"Where's Alice?" I asked in concern making them smile.

"Calm down Jay, she's fine. She went to change, we arrange to meet her here. Don't worry we're looking after her." Garret grinned at me.

I gave him a guilty smile "Sorry, I just feel bad abandoning her so much."

"You're lucky she's very understanding." Tanya said nudging me with her elbow.

"I know." I said. Did I ever know!

The sound of the elevator doors opening made me look up on instinct and my mouth dropped open as Alice stepped out.

Fuck me!

She bit her lip and looked down shyly as she caught sight of me gawping at her and slowly made her way over.

The red of the dress stood out against her pale skin. The strapless fitted top kept the curves it clung to hidden teasingly, the skirt puffed out coming to the middle of her thighs. My eyes ran slowly down her exposed legs and I nearly died when I saw the 'fuck me' black stilettos she had on. Her hair was ruffled like she'd just got out of bed, my bed, I remembered with a smirk.

I found myself cursing my suit again, the soft fabric of the pants giving me less support than my reliable jeans usually did as little Jay sprang up in appreciation of Alice's attire.

I had been right, if she wasn't careful I would defiantly end up ripping that dress off her.

She stopped in front of me cocking her head to the side.

"So was it worth it?" she asked grinning.

Swallowing thickly all I could do was nod. This was going to be the longest day of my life!

My hands skimmed down her sides, the silk of the dress smooth under my fingers.

"You are going to get me in so much trouble." I murmured, my hands reached her hips and I pulled her close to me.

"Why?" she asked reaching up to straighten my tie.

"With you dressed like that I'm gonna have no idea what is going on or what I'm meant to be doing." I growled

"You want me to change?" she asked teasingly.

I shook my head stepping back so my eyes could rove over her again "Defiantly not." I pulled her back to my chest "Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now?"

"No." she mumbled and I felt her body tense in embarrassment.

My arms wrapped around her and I placed a soft kiss on her cheek "Well you do." I murmured "You look amazing."

She pulled back a shy smile on her face "Thanks Jazz, you look pretty good yourself."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste "Well don't get used to it cause I sure as hell don't feel good."

She frowned smoothing out my jacket on the shoulders "It's only for a few hours and if it's any consolation when I said you look good I meant you look very hot!"

I groaned my hands went back to grip her hips and I was just about to drag her back to my room when Alistair spoke up.

"Ok people we have the bridal party coming down in three minutes so can we all move through into the main room."

I stood at the front next to my dad looking back at where Alice sat next to Tanya, when her eyes met mine I couldn't help smirk as her cheeks glowed pink.

My dad cleared his throat nervously and I knew I should probably say something encouraging or reassuring but I couldn't think of anything.

"You ready?" I asked instead.

He turned to smile at me "Oh yeah, can't wait."

I nodded but didn't say anything else because my burning question at that moment was whether or not he'd felt like that when he stood in the church in Texas waiting to marry my mum.

Music started up and I glanced back to see Leanne and Jennie appear in matching dresses of baby pink, when they were halfway down the aisle Alisha appeared she sent me a slight glare as she neared the front.

My dad let out a slow breath as Cindy appeared, I had to bite my tongue hard to stop myself from laughing. She had gone for a white dress.

Please, the virgin bride my ass, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who could vouch for that!

I didn't really listen as the ceremony progressed and they exchange equally sickly soppy vows about eternal love and other bullshit and all too soon Cindy was named my dad's new wife, my step mum!

That was weird.

We had the photos next, another two hours filled with mind numbing boredom and someone telling me what to do.

Finally I was released and went to seek out Alice.

"Thank god that's over." I murmured wrapping her in my arms and pulling her in for a kiss.

"Not quite" she reminded me indicating to the large hall set up for the evening meal and reception.

I shrugged, compared to the rest I could handle that no problem "Yeah but I get to stay with you from now on." I said reaching to take hold of her hand as we made our way up to the head table.

The meal went smoothly enough and I was just wondering whether or not I'd actually ask Alice to dance later when my dad stood up next to me to make a speech.

Cindy giggled making me wince as my dad babbled on about how he had known she was 'the one' and how he was so lucky to have found true love.

It made me feel about an inch tall and I was grateful my mum wasn't there to hear this shit.

Alice's hand found mine under the table squeezing it tightly. I squeezed back giving her a smile, thanking her for being there for me, for supporting me.

"And to my son Jasper."

I lifted my head and smiled politely as he looked down at me.

"All I can do is hope that one day you will find the right girl for you, someone like I've found with Cindy."

I felt Alice flinch away from me dropping my hand and it took everything I had not to punch the bastard there and then.

I missed the rest of his speech as I clenched my jaw tightly, I could almost feel the humiliation rolling off Alice and I hated myself for putting her through this, putting her through more pain.

I wanted to do something, to hurt my dad like he'd just hurt Alice.

He sat back down and I rearranged my face and joined in the applause. He clapped me on the back with a smile.

"One day son I hope you'll be as happy as I am right now." his eyes flickered to Alice "You'll find the right girl some day." he stage whispered so I knew Alice could hear.

Her shoulders were tense, her head down and I saw a single tear drop to her lap.

That was all it took for me to spring to my feet.

"The best man must make a speech." I declared, I noticed several camera phones recording as well as the main camera for the wedding video and I smiled. At the very least this would be a You Tube favourite.

"It's usually the best mans job to tell amusing stories about the groom, given the circumstances I think it's best I don't do that." I said grimly "But you know what dad there is something you need to know. My perfect girl, despite what you may think, I have found her. I know what I want, what you had with mum but were too stupid, blind, horny to realise. Cause you want the honest truth, about two years ago I had what you have now, and to be honest she wasn't all that impressive."

The room had gone deadly silent, Cindy was staring at me open mouthed and my dad just blinked stupidly.

"I have tried so hard to overlook the shit you've done, but I just can't do it anymore, so." I raised my champagne glass in a mock toast "I hope you both have a happy life but I can't be a part of it." I drank down my champagne and pushed my chair back grabbing Alice's hand and literally dragging her out of her chair.

"Oh." I turned back to my dad "I'm sure you'll have a great honeymoon, after all she does give good head!"

With that parting line I left the room still dragging Alice behind me.

Once we were in the car park of the hotel I stopped and finally looked at her.

"Mini?"

She looked up at me tears shining in her eyes.

"You didn't do that because of me did you?" she asked softly.

"Sort of." I mumbled.

Her eyes filled with guilt.

"There were a lot of reasons I needed to say that, for my mum, for me, for everything he's put us through. I tried Mini, I really did. I wanted to believe he was a better man than I thought, but when he implied that about you not being the right girl for me I lost it, because you are. I love you."

More tears formed in her eyes "Do you mean that?"

I frowned for a second then my eyes widened.

Oh shit, I'd just said…

I opened my mouth ready for some serious backtracking but nothing came out as I gazed down at the girl before me, the girl who had given me so much and expected nothing in return. Who no matter how many times life knocked her down got back up and carried on. She was my perfect girl, I knew that, I'd said that. I didn't want to live without her, I'd admitted that months ago.

"Yes Alice, I love you."

Her face split into the most dazzling smile and I couldn't think for several seconds.

"I love you too Jazz." she whispered wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her lips to mine.

I pulled back suddenly making her frown.

"Say that again." I demanded needing clarification through fear I'd just imagined her saying it.

She grinned "I. Love. You." she said slowly and clearly.

Bringing my lips back to hers my heart felt like it was about to explode with joy. I felt like bursting out in song like I was in some cheesy 50's musical. I could almost hear the fireworks in the background.

I just stared down into her eyes as we broke apart.

"So you fancy running up the room service bill before we leave?" I asked.

Alice bit her lip her eyes dropped and she shook her head.

"I want you to take me home." she mumbled softly.

My heart halted it's party dance and slowly sank to the region of my stomach. Of course a declaration of love wasn't going to make up for what I'd subjected her to the past few days.

"Yeah sure." I said "We should get our stuff." I made to head back inside when Alice stopped me, she was still chewing her lip her eyes on the ground.

"Jazz I want you to take me home for a reason."

"I know." I cut her off "I understand you don't wanna stay here and to be honest neither do I."

She giggled a little "No, Jazz that's not it." she sighed her cheeks turning a delicate pink "God I'm going to sound like such a little kid."

One of my hands instinctively went to run through her hair.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, eyes still closed she began to talk "I've always wanted to" another deep breath "loose my virginity in my own bed."

I blinked once.

Oh god, please if you're out there tell me I heard that right.

"You want…" I couldn't quite bring myself to say it.

Her eyes met mine and I saw nerves but no uncertainty.

"I want you to make love to me." she said it quietly but clearly.

Thank you god! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I swallowed thickly suddenly unsure what to do.

_Get her home moron! Now!_

"Right. Well we should get our stuff." I stammered.

I was grateful our rooms were on separate floors and we separated so we could be out quicker. It gave me a chance to clear my thoughts.

This angel was giving herself to me completely, I was finally going to get to touch her, feel her, all of her, love her.

Little Jay sprang up in excitement eager to feel Alice too.

"Do not fuck this up." I growled warningly at him.

This wasn't the type of situation where I should be thinking with my dick.

This was Alice's first time and she was giving it to me, I had to make sure this was special for her.

She was already waiting for me outside by my car, miraculously we hadn't run into anyone.

I quickly shoved our bags in the trunk whilst Alice slid into the passenger seat, she hadn't changed out of her dress and my mind went wild with thoughts of slowly running my hands up her legs pushing the fabric up, or unzipping it so it fell from her slight frame revealing the delicious curves it clung to.

I rearranged my throbbing erection so it wasn't so obvious as I sat down behind the wheel.

Silence descended, I never had trouble talking to Alice but what was I meant to say to her?

"_Thanks for finally letting me shag you."_

Maybe not!

She giggled and I looked over to find her sparkling eyes on me.

"Aren't I supposed to be the nervous wreck?" she asked grinning at me.

Fuck, was I that obvious?

"You just took me by surprise that's all." that was true, I really hadn't expected her to let me fuck her after the way my father had treated her the past couple of days.

_Well she's not._

Huh?

_She's not letting you fuck her, she wants you to make love to her. Idiot!_

That was something I'd never had to distinguish between before, and that was why I was so nervous.

I'd only ever fucked girls before. A release of sexual tension or need I'd never really felt anything for them, sure I'd liked a couple of them but never in a dating, hearts and flowers kind of way.

But I already knew Alice was different, I mean we'd been together for four months and we still hadn't had sex, I was doing the hearts and flowers shit without getting laid and the truth was I was loving it.

I liked having someone to take care of, and someone who cared about the shit that was going on in my life.

"We don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want." Alice's voice brought me back to the car.

She was chewing on her lip looking at her hands where they rested in her lap.

Reaching across I took one of her hands in mine bringing it up so I could kiss her knuckles.

"Mini, I'm a seventeen year old boy, if you're sure about this nothing is going to stop me." I told her honestly and I was serious.

The world could fucking end and it wouldn't stop me spending my last moments between Alice's thighs.

Her gorgeous silky smooth thighs rubbing against my hips as I thrust into her again and again her moans filling the room until I pushed deeper hitting that one spot that made her scream my name….

I shook my head blinking to try and clear my thoughts.

"I'm sure." she whispered.

I was sure I would pass out from lack of blood to the brain, my dick was throbbing.

"Talk to me." I begged Alice pathetically "Just make me think of something else, please."

She giggled again "Well, I don't think you'll be invited to your dads for thanksgiving."

I laughed as I remembered how all this had started.

"Fuck I'd almost forgotten about that." I admitted.

"You're probably the only one who has." Alice joked our hands were still joined and she pulled mine to her lap playing with my fingers which strangely helped little Jay calm down.

"Did you really shag your step mother?" she asked grinning.

I winced "Yeah a couple of years ago, she was an intern at dads office before she er worked her way up so to speak. We'd sneak into the copy room. Most of the time she'd just blow me but occasionally we'd shag. I think she hoped it would help her career or something. It didn't mean anything." I said quickly looking over at her.

She smiled at me "I know." lifting my hand to her lips she pressed a soft kiss on the pulse point at my wrist.

"She looked surprised when you mentioned it."

I grinned "Yeah, I'm not sure if she forgot or just never believed I'd have the balls to tell my dad I'd fucked her."

This was a good topic to control my raging hard on, but I wasn't sure if past conquests were a good thing to discuss before taking my girlfriends virginity so I changed the subject.

"Erm, Emmett's not gonna be there is he?"

She let forth another adorable giggle "No, with me being gone for the weekend he didn't see the point."That was a relief, the last thing I wanted was to walk into her house to find Emmet there.

"_Hey I thought you'd be gone for the weekend."_

"_Yeah we would have been but your sister wanted to loose her virginity in her own bed. So here we are!"_

After the way he'd threatened me when I'd first met him, even though it had been a joke, I knew he'd happily break my kneecaps simply for the fantasises of sex with Alice I'd been getting off to for the past few months.

"We'll have the house to ourselves." Alice added.

That was not a good thing for her to have said, now all I could think of was bending her over every surface in that house.

I had never had a hard on for so long without doing something about it and I began to get nervous again worrying I'd blow my load the first second I sheathed myself in Alice's tight heat.

Just remembering the time I'd had my tongue in her made me throb with want.

After several torturous hours we made it back to Forks. I was pretty impressed with myself for holding out that long.

Alice slipped out of the car to unlock the door and turn off the alarm whilst I grabbed our bags and took them inside.

Nerves and excitement rose in me.

"You can leave the bags there." Alice told me as I stepped into the hall, she reached past me to close the door as I dropped both bags to the floor.

This was it, we were back at her house, her bed just upstairs.

"I need to use the bathroom." Alice said heading upstairs and leaving me standing there like a moron.

Now what did I do?

Go and wait on her bed? Did that make me look heartless? Like all I wanted was to shag her.

I grabbed her bag, at least that way I had an excuse to go to her room.

I had just placed it on the floor and was looking at some pictures on her wall when she came in and moved to sit on the edge of her bed kicking her shoes off.

Swallowing I moved to join her feeling like a virgin again myself.

What did you do first again?

Her eyes met mine and she smiled a little.

"I need a kiss." she whispered.

All my nerves vanished and I smirked at her "I think I can manage that." I teased taking her face between my hands I leant in my lips moulding to hers gently, my tongue begging entrance which she willingly gave me.

This was going to be the greatest night of my entire life.

* * *

**And cut!**

**Hehe.**

**Ok I know I'm evil leaving it there. **

**So will they wont they? It could still go either way.**

**What do you think, review and you may get a sneak peek. xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own anything, all recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter14: I wanna know what love is.**

Alice's pov

_I could do this, I could do this, I could do this_

I stared at my reflection in the mirror searching for any sign of nerves. I mean I should be nervous but the whole car ride back from Seattle I'd been fine, Jasper had been the nervous wreck.

Maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet what was going to happen once I left the bathroom.

I couldn't deny I had been thinking about this for a while, if I'm honest since me and Jasper got together.

My body was more than ready for it, reacting to him in ways I still didn't fully understand.

_Well if you don't understand maybe you shouldn't do this._

My heart constricted, I wanted this.

Jasper had stood up for me in front of all those people, and then he'd told me he loved me. A smile broke across my face, he loved me.

He was the first person, outside my family, to say that to me and I knew I was the first girl he'd ever said it to.

I knew this was far from Jasper's first time having sex, but I was his first love. That was mine always, nothing could change that. This would be different, new, for Jasper too.

Thinking through it all now I couldn't come up with a reason we shouldn't have sex.

I heard Jasper come upstairs and my heartbeat raced.

Ok there are the nerves.

"I want this." I whispered to my reflection "I trust him, I love him, I want him to be my first." my heart calmed down.

I was bound to be nervous this was my first time. I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew enough to know it would hurt for a bit and it wasn't going to be the perfect fairytale thing Hollywood made you believe. Jasper would look after me, like he always did, he'd be slow and patient and loving, he'd make me feel safe.

I thought back to that first time we'd been intimate and my body heated up, I remembered his hands running up my legs. A dull ache of want started between my thighs.

Yes my body was defiantly ready for this.

Looking down I took the time washing my hands and then brushing my teeth, I fluffed my hair a little staring hard into my eyes.

_I could do this._

I slowly made my way back down the hall to my bedroom, my heartbeat doubled when I found Jasper already there looking at some pictures on my wall.

Ignoring him I made my way to my bed kicking my shoes off as I sat down, my hands twisting nervously in my lap.

The bed dipped as Jasper sat down beside me. I tried to swallow but my mouth had gone very dry.

I looked up at him "I need a kiss." I heard myself say.

His confident smirk appeared on his face as he leant in "I think I can manage that."

I feared my heart would actually explode as it started beating even faster.

Jasper's hands found there way under the skirt of my dress and I had to break the kiss to gasp in some air.

"Wait." I gasped shuffling backwards.

Jasper moved away slowly his hands held up in surrender "Ok, it's ok." he said softly as I continued to hyperventilate.

_Calm the fuck down Alice you wanted this!_

Looking over at Jasper I focused on him, the way I felt about him, I loved him. That's why this was going to happen.

I stood up suddenly my fingers fumbling with the zip at the side of my dress.

"Alice?" Jasper asked in concern.

Finally I got the zip down and shimmied out of the dress letting it pool at my feet.

Jasper's eyes slowly ran over me as I stood there in just a black strapless bra and matching panties.

_See I could do this._

His arms came up beckoning me into them and I slowly moved back onto the bed, my breathing still a little erratic.

He rolled us so I was now on my back beneath him, one of his hands slowly wandered up my stomach, over my ribs.

I tried so hard to relax as he gently palmed me through my bra but I couldn't, he leant in to start sucking and nibbling my neck. Something he'd done hundreds of times, something I loved him doing, but now instead of making my body heat up my blood seemed to freeze.

"Jasper." I chocked out.

He stopped propping himself up on his forearm to look at me, I couldn't meet his eyes, the second his weight was off me I rolled away and fled locking myself in the bathroom.

I tried to take deep breaths. I think I was having a panic attack, my body trembled, tears poured form my eyes and it felt like someone was squeezing my lungs so I couldn't breath.

Jasper was going to hate me.

"Alice." I heard him call from the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed "Jazz I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry."

"Shh, that's ok." he soothed "If you're not ready it's fine, I understand."

I shook my head tears still streaming down my face "I really thought…I'm sorry."

"Mini let me in, please." he begged.

With shaky hands I unlocked the door to find Jasper stood on the other side, his face creased with worry.

"I'm sorry." I said again.

Very slowly and carefully he wrapped me in his arms pulling me to his chest.

"It's ok, it's not your fault ok. It's too soon still but that's ok." he said softly.

My fingers tightened gripping the back of his shirt tightly as fear seemed to swamp me.

I had to do this, this is what Jasper wanted. After everything he had done for me.

"Maybe I can do it." I mumbled "We can try again, I wont freak out I promise."

I heard him sigh angrily "Alice stop it. I am not going to force you."

"You wont be." I said the idea taking root in my head "I mean I'm asking you to right, just don't stop."

He pulled back making my stomach clench. His eyes were hard as he glared at me.

"Will you listen to what you're asking me to do." he growled.

"To have sex with me." I said like it was obvious.

"Really." he grabbed my arm tightly dragging me back to my bed.

My eyes widened as he pushed me back onto the bed and crawled up over me.

"You don't want me to stop." he growled and I swallowed as bile rose up my throat.

Jasper sighed his face smoothed out and he rolled off me "I told you I'm not going to force you and I sure as hell am not going to rape you Alice."

I shivered sitting up and pulling my knees up to my chest. "I'm sorry." I whispered again.

Jasper shook his head, he moved to where my bag was on the floor and riffled through it pulling out my pyjamas and passing them to me so I could put some clothes on.

"Will you stop apologising." he said turning his back on me while I got dressed. "I'm gonna go get ready for bed."

He headed to the door and panic nearly overwhelmed me.

"Jasper please don't leave me."

He paused and turned back to look at me with a frown "I'm just going to get me bag." he said.

I shook my head beyond reason as all my fears seemed to attack me at once.

"You've had enough of me." I sobbed "But I can try harder, please, please don't leave me."

"Mini." he sighed coming back to the bed "I'm just going to get my bag so I can change, I'll be right back. I promise you I'm not gonna leave you ok."

"I can try harder." I said again not really listening to him.

He shook his head "Alice earlier tonight I told you I loved you." he said "I meant that, I'm not going to leave you over this."

He headed back to the door and I scrambled off the bed to follow him, he smiled softly and took my hand as he headed downstairs.

"You want a drink?" he asked.

I nodded, unable to speak, and we headed into the kitchen. Jasper poured us some juice before going back to the hall to pick up his bag and head back upstairs.

I felt really stupid as we got back to my room and I went to sit back on the bed.

With a reassuring smile Jasper went into my little ensuite to change, he left the door open so I could hear him moving around.

Coming back out in his boxers and a t-shirt he paused for a second before climbing into bed next to me I lay on my side so I could look over at him.

"I really thought I was ready." I whispered knowing he wouldn't like it if I apologised but needing to say something.

He smiled softly one hand coming up to stroke my cheek.

"It's ok Alice. This weekends been a bit of a head fuck for both of us. Everything is going to be ok. I promise."

I smiled a little and wriggled over so I could hug him tightly.

"I really do love you though." I whispered.

I felt his lips press to my hair "I really do love you too." he murmured back.

I relaxed into him feeling reassured as his arms held me tight, my eyes grew heavy as the weight of everything that had happened today crashed down on me. Jasper was right this whole weekend had just been one big head fuck.

* * *

Jasper's pov

I stared down at Alice as her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing evened out.

Greatest night of my life. I scoffed. Or not!

I should have known she wasn't ready. Hell I had known. Looking back now it was obvious.

But when she'd told me she wanted me to make love to her that's all I could think about.

She mumbled my name in her sleep, her small body wriggled closer against mine and I closed my eyes to fight back my natural reaction to that movement.

I loved her, I knew that for certain but that didn't make me want her any less. It just made me hate myself more for being so damn inconsiderate.

Even now all I could see was her stood there in her underwear, that one second I'd actually been allowed to touch her, explore the parts of her that had previously been forbidden.

She was absolutely stunning, the curve of her hips, the flat planes of her stomach, the swell of her breasts.

She shifted again in her sleep, one of her legs slid in between mine making me groan.

This was just too much for me, I wasn't sure if you could get death by blue ball but I was very close to finding out!

Think of something else! Anything else!

Think about having sex with Lauren, that usually works.

Unfortunately my brain decided to forget what Lauren looked like, in fact the only image it seemed interested in was the one of the girl currently asleep in my arms.

Carefully I tried to wriggle away, at the very least I could go take care of myself so I could get some sleep.

Letting out a small sigh of relief when I managed to disentangle myself from Alice without waking her I headed to the door only for my heart to stop when I heard her whimper.

"Jazz." she chocked out sounding close to tears.

Shit, shit, shit.

I was beside her again in under a second.

"I'm here it's ok." I whispered to her softly, running my hand over her hair.

She was still asleep but her fingers latched onto the front of my t-shirt and I realised I was going nowhere.

"It's a good thing I love you." I teased her, glad she couldn't actually hear me as I settled back down beside her.

Needless to say I didn't get all that much sleep, one because it was impossible given my current state and two I was terrified I'd end up having a wet dream and totally gross out Alice.

I dozed on and off but otherwise spent the night just looking at her. Her face was calm and peaceful in sleep, her dark lashes fanned out across her pale cheeks, her lips would occasionally twitch into a smile.

Finally the sky outside began to lighten. I shifted position to get comfy and Alice stirred beside me.

Her eyelashes fluttered and her hands came up to rub her eyes making me smile.

I placed a kiss to the side of her head "Morning angel." I sighed happily.

She twisted a little in my arms to smile up at me only for it to fall as the events of last night came back to her. Her eyes dropped and she tried to pull away but my arms kept her pinned to my chest.

No way had I just endured the tortures of last night so she could run away from me in embarrassment.

"The second morning in a row I got to wake up with you in my arms." my head dipped to nuzzle her neck "I could get used to this."

She tensed and I knew she wasn't just going to let last night go.

I pulled back a little but kept her in my arms.

"You're not mad at me?" she mumbled softly chewing her bottom lip.

I sighed, one hand coming up to cup her face "No Alice I'm not mad at you. Why would I be?" I asked.

"Telling you I was ready to have sex then freaking out on you." her hands came up to push against my chest trying to escape.

I let one of my hands run up and down her back softly until she calmed down.

"Alice what happened last night, well" I paused hoping I could explain this without making her feel bad "I wasn't thinking straight. The second you told me why you wanted me to take you home, well that's all I could think about and I never took the time to think how everything that happened over the weekend had affected you emotionally. You tried to convince yourself you were ready because you know that's what I want. Am I right?"

Her eyes were down but she nodded "I guess, I just thought…I don't really know."

"It happened Alice, but it's not going to change how I feel about you. I'm not going to break up with you twelve hours after finally admitting I'm in love with you."

She finally met my eyes and I smiled kissing her softly.

"And for the record, this is all I need to make me happy." I murmured squeezing her tightly.

We stayed in bed a while longer before Alice decided to go make us some breakfast.

She was a little distant with me and I knew she needed time to come to terms with everything that had happened.

"I should go see my mum." I said hesitantly as we sat down to eat.

Fear flickered in her eyes "Ok." she said trying not to let it show.

"Just to let her know we're back and to tell her what happened. I don't want her to find out from someone else." I carried on hoping to let her know I wasn't abandoning her.

"That's fine." she kept her eyes down.

I opened my mouth ready to start telling her I wasn't leaving her and everything was ok but decided against it, she just needed time.

I got dressed after breakfast but left my bag in Alice's room, another sign for her I was coming back.

Fear still shone in her eyes as I came downstairs and headed for the front door.

"You want me to come back after I've talked to my mum?" I asked, I planned on doing so anyway but it was best to double check that's what she wanted.

She nodded quickly.

"Ok." taking her in my arms I kissed her once on the lips before showering kisses all over her face "I love you." I breathed into her ear making her shiver.

"I love you too." she whispered back.

Glancing up as I started my car I could tell she was close to tears. A war raged inside me.

Should I stay or should I go?

I needed to talk to my mum, and the sooner I did the sooner I could be back with Alice. I also knew Alice needed time to think without me there but I really did hate leaving her.

I headed out of the drive with a heavy sigh.

"Hey mum." I called as I arrived home "I'm…Holy fuck!" I burst out as I came into the kitchen to find my mum stood there in a skimpy nightgown, Doctor Cullen stood behind her in just his pants his arms around her waist.

Both spun around at my outburst my mum turning an impressive shade of scarlet.

Doctor Cullen just shuffled nervously his eyes on the ground.

Were my parents trying to send me to therapy or something?

Without another word I spun around and headed back to the lounge, there are just some things I do not need to know about.

I should have never left Alice's. I should have just called my mum, that would have been ok and a hell of a lot less traumatising.

"Jasper." she said softly coming into the lounge now, thankfully, wearing a robe. "Erm, I didn't expect you back this early."

"Really? I'd never have guessed." I said sarcastically.

I took a deep breath.

Just explain and get the fuck out of there.

"We ended up driving back last night. I pretty much fucked up my chance at having some form of relationship with dad and I really don't give a fuck. Oh and I'd get dressed soon if I were you Kate, Tanya and Garret plan on visiting."

"What happened honey?" she asked softly.

I looked at my mum her brown eyes soft and caring.

"I can't forgive him some things mum, and I'm pretty sure he wont forgive me so" I threw my hands up "I don't know, I should never have gone. I was just trying…" I sighed again "I don't know."

Stepping forward my mum pulled me into a tight hug.

"You were giving him a second chance and he blew it." she said pulling back and smiling up at me "Maybe it was too much too soon, but you tried Jasper."

I nodded, I had tried.

"You look exhausted." she said.

I chuckled "Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night." she didn't need to know why.

"Go get some sleep."

I shook my head "No I wanna get back to Alice."

"Is everything ok?" mum asked carefully.

I shrugged "I don't know, I hope so. Things were a bit weird over the weekend."

She nodded surprising me by not pushing for more details.

"Ok honey. Are you going to be home tonight?"

I looked up and noticed Doctor Cullen hovering in the doorway.

"I don't think so." I told my mum.

At least I hoped not.

"I'll go get my stuff for school then head out." I turned to head to my room.

As I was throwing stuff into my schoolbag and trying to find something to wear tomorrow there was a knock at my door.

"Come in." I yelled over the heavy rock sounds of AC/DC that was helping keep me awake.

Much to my surprise and slight trepidation Doctor Cullen appeared in my doorway.

"Hi Jasper, I was just wondering if we could talk."

I stared at him dumbfound for ten whole seconds.

He was kidding me right?

"Little busy right now actually." I said turning back to my packing.

"Well then I'll talk you listen." he suggested not taking the hint I'd rather jab a blunt instrument in my eye than have to talk to the guy who was currently knocking boots with my mother.

"I understand that this situation is difficult for you." he began sounding like a shrink.

"You know what" I turned to face him shutting him up "This situation isn't difficult for me. You're a good guy and you make my mum happy, so you know what I'm fine with that, if ever you make her unhappy then you'll have a problem." I mentally rolled my eyes, I sounded like Emmett "You want to try the whole male bonding, wanting to be on good terms with your girlfriends kid thing can we please leave it for now. I really can't deal with any more drama this weekend."

I took a deep breath. Doctor Cullen just stood there staring at me.

"Right." he finally stammered out "Erm ok. Thank you."

I nodded once before turning back to cram my last few books in my bag and turned off my stereo.

"See you later mum." I hollered through the house making for the front door.

"Jasper." she called stopping me "Can I expect you home any time this week?" she asked an amused smile on her face as I shifted impatiently.

I thought about that and shrugged "Not sure." I admitted then grinned "But if I am coming home I'll ring ahead to give you some warning." I winked before moving to my car.

"Please don't get her pregnant." my mum said making me frown.

What the hell?

_You're spending the nights at your girlfriends house, what the fuck do you think people are going to assume?_

I shook my head "Trust me mum you don't have to worry about that." I assured.

She nodded but rolled her eyes like she didn't believe me before closing the door as I got into my car and headed back to Alice's.

My body seemed to hum with anticipation at getting to see her again and as I pulled onto her driveway I was beaming like a lovesick fool.

Wow I had it bad!

Of course my smile fell when Alice opened the door, her face red and puffy, eyes bloodshot from crying.

She gave me a small half hearted smile which I returned.

I dropped my bag in the hall before following her into the lounge and I was relieved when we sat down and she curled up against me.

I didn't quite know what to say to her and settled for just wrapping my arm around her shoulder holding her tight to me.

"Do you have to go home again later?" Alice asked in a small voice.

"No." I murmured back "I was a bit presumptuous and brought my stuff for school so I could stay over."

"You want to stay over?" she asked sounding shocked.

I kissed the top of her head "If that's ok."

She nodded pulling herself up to look at me "Of course it is, I just didn't think you'd want to. I thought it might be too much for you."

Leaning my head against hers I sighed "Mini as long as I know the boundaries I'm fine."

That wasn't strictly true, but I had shared a bed with her at the hotel and slept fine. Besides I could cope with anything if it meant I could wake up next to Alice every morning.

"You have the patience of a saint." she said snuggling into me.

I chuckled as I fought down my desire "No I don't." I sighed nuzzling at her neck "Sometimes I may still go too far Alice and I need you to tell me ok, I wont get mad, but if I do anything you're not comfortable with promise me you'll tell me."

She chewed her lip.

"Alice promise me." I said a little sterner.

Her eyes met mine and I could see her conflicting feelings between knowing what she was ready for and wanting to make me happy. With a sigh she looked back down.

"Alice." I wasn't going to let this go until she'd promised me.

"I promise." she muttered.

I rolled my eyes, yeah that was believable!

"Maybe Lauren's right, maybe I am just a freak."

My head snapped up when I heard that and I grabbed her face forcing her to look at me.

"Never think that." I practically growled at her. "There is nothing wrong with you."

Tears formed in her eyes again and I pulled her against my chest.

"Stop it Alice please." I begged her "I don't know what else I'm meant to say to make you understand that it's ok."

Her body shook with sobs.

"Don't cry, please Alice."

"I'm sorry." her voice was muffled as she clung to me "I just don't know what to do Jazz, I don't know how I feel."

One of my hands ran up and down her back trying to get her to calm down.

"Maybe you should talk to someone about this." I suggested lamely.

She pulled back wiping at her eyes angrily "I don't have anyone to talk to." she sobbed and my heart went out to her.

"What about Rosalie?" I said.

She glanced up at me "What if she told Emmett?"

I let out a slow breath "He has to find out at some point." I said knowing it was selfish worrying what Emmett would do to me when Alice needed someone.

"If not you could talk to my mum." I suggested when she didn't respond.

Alice frowned "Wouldn't that be weird?"

I shrugged "I think she'd be happy to help, I mean she likes you, and I've talked to her about us when I've needed advice." I laughed a little "And she was surprisingly helpful."

Taking a shaky breath Alice sat up her arms going around my neck as she pressed herself close to me.

"Thank you." she whispered.

"Don't mention it Mini."

She was smiling as she sat back down next to me "You're the best you know that right?"

Leaning in I stole a quick kiss "If I am it's all down to you Mini." I murmured against her lips and was delighted when her fingers tangled in my hair and she kept me close her mouth moving hungrily with mine.

Fuck I loved this girl!

As the day progressed things settled down again, they weren't perfect but Alice was smiling again which was better than this morning.

"What are you going to do about your dad?" Alice asked me softly as we ate dinner.

I shook my head "I don't think there's much I can do. It's down to him now." I didn't want to think about this, I just wanted to forget about it all.

Alice nodded letting it go.

Without a thought that night I crawled into Alice's bed, as she came out of her bathroom she raised an eyebrow at me.

"You seem very sure of yourself." she teased "What if I wanted to sleep alone tonight?"

"Well." I said climbing out of the bed and going to stand next to her. I smirked wrapping my arms around her waist. Her eyes widened and she squealed as I lifted her carrying her back to her bed and somehow managing to get us both settled under the duvet without removing my arms from around her. "That's just really doesn't work for me." I finished.

She giggled snuggling down against me.

Despite the fact I'd got hardly any sleep the night before Alice still ended up falling asleep before me. I spent a while just looking at her, a small contented smile on her lips, the same she had the other times she'd fallen asleep next to me even as far back as the time she'd fallen asleep as I'd played guitar.

I leant in to nuzzle her hair and she sighed softly wriggling back against me.

My eyes began to feel heavy and I gave into sleep Alice nestled safely against my chest.

* * *

**Ok so I know a lot of you will be disappointed but please let me explain before you come hunting me down with torches and pitchforks.**

**I had originally planned for Alice and Jasper's first time to be after the wedding but after writing the whole thing it felt like Alice was being backed into a corner a little with everything that had happened which is why I ended up having her freak out instead.**

**Sorry to everyone who was looking forward to it, it will happen at some point I promise. And on the positive this means there will be more chapters. **

**Is that enough to make you not hate me?**

**Review. Please. xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:**** Sadly I own nothing, all charters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Huge thanks to all who reviewed**

**I'm on a bit of a roll this week so here's another chapter**

* * *

**Chapter 15: This is our normal life?**

Jasper's pov

I was rudely awakened by a shrill ringing mixed with the beeping of a phone.

"What the fuck?" I moaned trying to roll over only to come into contact with something soft and warm.

"Morning." Alice giggled. As the noise disappeared.

"Hey." I smiled sleepily rolling onto my back pulling her with me to straddle my waist. Fuck that was hot!

My hands trailed over her thighs "What the fuck was all that noise about?" I asked her.

She smiled down at me her eyes sparkling in the dim light "It's Monday. Time for school." she tried to get off me but my hands gripped her hips keeping her in place.

"Don't wanna go to school." I pouted "Wanna stay in bed with my girlfriend."

"We missed Friday Jazz, we can't miss anymore." she wriggled trying to get off me again but the way she was sat it just made me all the more determined to keep her here in bed.

"No." I continued to pout like a spoilt toddler wrapping my arms around her pulling her down on top of me. My mouth went to her neck nibbling up to the spot behind her ear sucking softly in a way I knew drove her wild.

"Jasper." she moaned.

I smirked against her neck my hands slipped under her tank top when her phone went off again and Alice took the momentary distraction to climb off me.

"It's Emmett, if I don't text back after two messages he'll get worried." she said moving off the bed so I wouldn't be able to pull her back to me.

"Fucking cock blocker!" I mumbled.

Alice was a little self conscious as I drove us to school. It had taken a lot to convince her not to go to school in two cars.

"It doesn't matter what people think." I told her softly "None of them have a clue, all that matters is you and me."

She smiled up at me lovingly as I pulled into the car park and took a deep breath as I moved round to open her door for her.

In English I got a shock as Edward sat down next to me, he cleared his throat nervously.

"Hi." he mumbled.

I bit my tongue to stop laughing "Hi." I replied wondering what the fuck he wanted. We hadn't spoken since our detention.

"Look I want to er…" he shuffled nervously keeping his eyes forward "Apologise."

"Ok." I said taking some sort of sick satisfaction watching the bastard squirm.

"Look I grew up in this town, me and Mike have been friends since kindergarten, I never really…"

"Thought?" I supplied.

His hand came up to run through his messy hair tugging on it slightly "Yeah, I just kind of went with it, you know."

"No I don't know."

What can I say, Alice was the forgiving one not me.

"At least you finally figured it out."

"Yeah, thanks for that. For making me talk to Bella. I guess I was just scared to face up to reality but…"

"Ed, why the fuck are you telling me all this?" I asked cutting off his ramblings.

"Because I was an ass to you." he said.

"You were an ass to Alice too, for a lot longer."

He sighed tugging his hair again "So you want me to apologise to Mc…Alice?" he asked in exasperation.

"I don't give a fuck what you do." I said honestly.

"Look Jay I'm sorry I was such a dick but I could really use a friend right now." he hissed under his breath trying not to get caught by the teacher.

I scoffed "'_Use_ a friend', nice word choice! If you and Mike are such great friends why not talk to him?"

Edward sighed heavily "Jay I need…I need help ok. I'm freaking out here, yes I was a jerk but I'm trying to do the right thing now. I can't change the past." he sighed again "No matter how much I might want to."

Looking over at him I softened a little, he did look pathetic. Alice has been rubbing off on me.

I wish.

_Don't go there!_

Edward had extended the hand of friendship on my first day.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

He shrugged "I don't fucking know. I'm going to be a father Jay and I'm fucking terrified." he admitted.

"Bella's keeping the baby then?"

He nodded "I think so, she hasn't really talked about it. I don't know exactly what she's thinking but she just started screaming at me when I brought up the, erm, other options."

I felt my jaw clench "Just want the problem to go away huh?" I growled at him.

He glared at me "No, but if it was you wouldn't you at least want to talk about it? I mean that kids mine too."

"Well do you want a kid?"

He grimaced looking at the table "I had my life planned out so perfectly. College, job, marry Bella, then kids maybe."

I raised an eyebrow at him "You planned on marrying Bella?"

He glared up at me again "I told you I love her, I mean that. Yes maybe I am a spineless prick but I do love Bella. I'm worried about her, I mean it's her life that's going to have the most upheaval over all this. I don't know Jay, I can't think straight right now."

"You're gonna stand by her though?" I asked in concern.

"Of course, I'm not that much of a wanker."

"Could have fooled me." I muttered under my breath.

"Look Jasper I'm sorry." he nearly yelled but checked himself "I don't know what else you want me to say."

I looked at him "I don't want you to say anything Edward, I told you I don't give a fuck."

We lapsed into silence for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

Alice's pov

It was weird going back to school on Monday. So much had happened over the past three days and yet at the same time everything was exactly the same.

Lauren glared at me in homeroom for the first time in weeks, not that I could bring myself to care.

My heart fluttered manically as I wandered into Biology and saw Jasper, a smile tugging at my lips.

He sent me his typical smirk. He knew exactly what he could do to me.

"Hey you wanna go out tonight?" he asked the second I sat down.

"Hmm." I started pulling my stuff out pretending to think "I'm not sure, I might be busy." I smiled over at him.

"Please Mini." he begged.

"Aren't you sick of being out?" I asked "I mean we were 'out' all weekend."

His forehead creased in thought "I suppose. I just wanted to spoil you I guess." he shrugged "We can stay in if you want."

"You spoil me by being with me." I told him leaning against his shoulder.

We worked in silence for most of the lesson focusing on our work. Jasper's hand would occasionally brush against my arm sending a jolt of electricity through my whole body.

As the lesson ended he took my hand as we headed for the cafeteria.

"You don't want to go out then?" Jasper pressed as we sat down.

I shrugged "If you really want to we can. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, a nice meal or something." he played with his food nervously as though unsure of himself for once "I told you I want to spoil you and I can't cook so this is my only option really."

I smiled widely delight washing through me, it was things like this that made me see he really did love me.

"What if I wanted to spoil you?" I asked him.

He sighed then smiled over at me "Ok compromise, we stay in tonight and go out tomorrow. Deal?"

"Deal." I agreed happily.

My smile fell as I glanced up and saw Edward and Bella making their way over to us, Jasper's face darkened as he followed my gaze.

Me and Bella still sat together for a couple of classes but after she had made up with Edward she had been a bit distant, making me grateful I had trusted my instincts and not confided in her.

"Hey." Edward said stiffly as they reached our table.

I glanced uncertainly at Jasper who was shaking his head, his eyes hard as he looked at Edward.

Edward cleared his throat nervously and turned to me a little "Alice."

I looked up at him with as frown wondering when I'd slipped into the twilight zone.

"Yeah?" I asked hesitantly not sure if I really wanted to know what he wanted.

His eyes wandered, never staying on me for more than a few seconds and he kept tight hold of Bella's hand.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled to his feet.

Jasper snorted "Wow Edward that makes up for everything." he said sarcastically.

"Jasper." I warned softly. He gave me a glare as though daring me to just accept that apology.

Turning back to Edward I chewed my lip nervously "You're sorry?" I asked slowly.

He nodded still not really looking at me.

"Ok." I said turning back to my lunch.

"Ok?" Edward looked confused.

I shrugged "Ok, so you're sorry. But Jasper's right, that hardly makes up for…everything."

I shuffled suddenly feeling horrible. I mean he'd apologised, that can't have been easy for him. Jasper smiled softly when I met his eyes making me feel better.

"I know that." Edward mumbled "But what else can I do?"

Jasper scoffed "You really want me to answer that?"

Ignoring him I looked back at Edward "I don't know, maybe it's just too late."

I felt like such a bitch saying that but it was the truth, there was nothing Edward could do or say that would make me forget the past three years.

"Come on Edward." Bella gave me a sad smile pulling him away to another table.

Jasper let out a deep breath "You know I really thought you'd forgive him."

I sighed "Yeah cause I'm usually a nice person." my eyes dropped as Jasper frowned at me "I feel like such a bitch." I admitted in a small voice.

"Don't." he said sternly moving around the table to take hold of my hand "Alice you were just honest with him, you weren't deliberately mean. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven, it's not like you plan on being evil to him, you just don't want to spend time with him which is more than understandable. It's enough you didn't mention him to Emmett, he'd have deserved it."

I tried to smile "Thanks Jazz."

As I sat down in French next to Bella I started to feel guilty again.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled to her.

"Don't be Alice. You were right he doesn't deserve you to forgive him that easily, hell I don't deserve you to forgive me as easily as you did."

I shrugged "How are you anyway?" I asked wondering if she'd actually talk to me or not.

She sighed sadly "I don't know. Edward's just freaked out at the moment so he's not that much help. I've thought about it all long and hard Alice and I know I just can't get rid of this baby, but at the same time I feel selfish because it's not just my life that's affected by it, you know."

I blinked once in shock. I hadn't expected her to be that open with me.

"Have you told your dad yet?" I asked when I could think of nothing else to say.

She shook her head and I saw fear flash across her face "I know I can't keep it from him forever, I mean he's bound to figure it out. But he's going to be so disappointed in me. Him and mum had me right out of high school and he always wanted more for me."

"He loves you B, sure he may be upset but he'll be there for you, you know that."

She looked over at me with sad eyes "A lots changed in three years Alice." she whispered softly.

That shocked me, I mean me and my dad had been close but even I'd been a little jealous of Bella's relationship with Charlie.

She smiled a little at my shocked expression "I'm a teenager Alice, I rebelled." she sighed "And now I'm paying the price. If the worst comes to the worst I could go live with mum but then I'm in Florida, and we haven't spent more than a week together in years. I don't know what to do Alice."

"I'm sorry Bella, I really don't know what to tell you." I admitted.

She tried to smile but couldn't pull it off.

"It's one of those situations I guess, no matter what you decide it's going to lead to some regrets, but at least you know Edward's going to be there for you." I knew that wouldn't really help but I needed to say something.

"Thanks Ali." her smile was a little warmer now.

We lapsed into silence for the rest of the lesson both lost in our own thoughts.

For me this whole situation Bella found herself in made me all the more terrified of sex. I knew there were precautions you could take to prevent pregnancy and stuff but I still didn't feel prepared for the possible consequences.

Jasper was right I needed someone to talk to and I blinked hard to fight back the tears that burned in my eyes as I thought about how much I needed my mum.

I realised Jasper's suggestion about talking to his mum was probably my best option, Esme was nice and if Jasper had talked to her she must be ok with knowing about her sons relationship.

Right now I really needed someone to help me figure out what was going on in my head and my heart.

* * *

Jasper's pov

I was so proud of Alice for the way she'd dealt with Edward.

I'll admit I had been worried she would just accept his apology, if you could call it an apology.

Don't get me wrong I knew the guy was going through some heavy shit right now, but as they say karma is a bitch!

I had really wanted to take Alice out tonight but I understood we had had a long weekend and it's not like we wouldn't be alone, being at Alice's house was like having our own place.

As I sat watching her make dinner I thought about that, for possibly the first time ever I thought about life after collage. Me and Alice having our own place, getting married, having kids.

I shook my head firmly. Scary thought.

I looked back over and smiled softly.

_Just enjoy the moment Jazz, tonight she's all yours. Within reason of course._

Of course!

"Whatcha makin?" I asked as she flittered from one side of the kitchen to the other like she was performing some complex dance.

She paused on her way back to grin at me "It's a surprise." she teased.

I smiled happily. I loved being with Alice like this. Just the two of us, Jazz and Mini, relaxed and ourselves. It felt so effortless, so natural.

"What are you thinking about?" Alice asked breaking my thoughts.

I shrugged "Nothing much."

She wrinkled her nose but didn't press me heading back to the stove to continue cooking instead.

Looking at the ingredients she had spread around the kitchen I tried to figure out what she was making but I was so fucking useless when it came to cooking, what the hell could you make from chicken, peppers, onions and flour.

Flour, you put that in cakes didn't you?

Chicken cake?

Somehow me thinks not.

Turns out it was chicken fajitas.

"Is your mum aware you've pretty much moved yourself in?" Alice asked as we tucked in.

I shrugged "Yeah, but don't worry I think she'll enjoy herself as much as I intend to." I shuddered a little thinking about that.

Alice giggled "You were very presumptuous weren't you." she teased "What if I were to say I didn't want you here all the time?"

I let my face drop into the most pathetic pout I could pull off putting on the wounded puppy eyes for added effect "You don't want me to stay?" I asked sadly.

Alice just giggled obviously not taken in by my act.

"Of course I want you to stay." she said softly "I like you being here, I like…"

She trailed off and I looked up to find her cheeks had flushed scarlet.

"You like?" I pressed.

"I like sleeping in your arms." she mumbled her eyes on the table her blush spreading over her face and neck.

I did a little mental fist pump of victory smirking to myself.

"We're going to have trouble at the weekend." she said and my smirk fell.

"Why?" I asked frowning.

"Well you can't stay over when Em's here. Even if he knew the truth. Well especially if he knew the truth." she pointed out and my heart dropped.

Shit! Why hadn't I thought of that?

"Guess we'll just have to make the most of the week then." I said hoping I'd be able to sleep without Alice next to me. I should, I'd been doing it for seventeen years after all.

We cuddled on the sofa after dinner and I once again found myself thinking of a time me and Alice really could live together properly, with no interruptions. Just being able to do this ever night would be heaven on Earth.

"You still want to go out tomorrow?" Alice asked me.

I kissed the top of her head with a sigh "At this moment in time I never want to leave this sofa." I told her honestly.

Alice sighed and snuggled down against me "I could live with that." she mumbled.

My arms tightened around her a little as a comfortable silence fell.

"Jazz, I've been thinking." Alice began hesitantly after a while.

"About what?" I asked worried she was going to try and force herself into something again.

"About what you said. About needing to talk to someone." she turned to look up at me "Would you really be ok with it if I talked to your mum?"

"Of course." I assured pressing my lips to her forehead feeling a little relieved that's what was on her mind.

"Thanks Jazz." she said pulling herself up so she could kiss me properly which resulted in us spending the rest of the night making out.

I smiled happily against Alice's mouth as our lips moved in sync, the disastrous weekend seemed to finally be behind us.

* * *

**Just a bit of fluff at the end there to balance out all the drama.**

**Reviews are better than making out with Jasper all night ;D xx **


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing, all recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Don't really want to ruin it but I suppose I have to put a warning there is a bit of lemony action in this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 16: The next step forward**

Alice's pov.

I got my chance to speak to Esme later that week.

Jasper had agreed to go somewhere with Carlisle to get to know him a little better. I had been so proud of him when he'd told me, I knew the Jasper who had first arrived in Forks wouldn't have made such an effort. Everything that had happened with his father had affected him a lot more than he let show.

I was nervous as I pulled up outside Jasper's house. I wasn't sure if he'd told his mum to expect me at some point, if he had she did a good job pretending.

"Alice, this is a surprise. Jasper's out at the moment."

I shuffled on the front step "Yeah I know. Actually I er wanted to talk to you, if that's ok." I was half hoping she'd say she was busy or something.

"Of course, come in."

She led me into the lounge "I was just going to make some tea. Would you like some?" she asked.

I nodded trying to smile but not quite pulling it off.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked as she sat down on the sofa indicating for me to join her and passing me a cup of tea.

"Erm." I swallowed staring at the cup in my hands "Well I kind of need someone to talk to, and the truth is I don't really have anyone so Jasper suggested I could maybe talk to you."

I peeked up to find her smiling softly at me.

"I'm glad my son has some sense." she joked "What's wrong Alice?" she asked again when I didn't say anymore.

I chewed my lip "How much did Jasper tell you about the weekend?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not a lot." she said slowly "Just that something happened which he can't forgive Anthony for. Why?"

I took a deep breath "Ok, well this is…I'm not sure…it's kind of…"

Why was this so hard?

"Alice." Esme said softly making me look up at her "Just take you time honey."

I smiled a little, Jasper saw so many similarities between him and his father but it was clear how much influence Esme had had on him.

"Well." I took another deep breath then just told her everything that had happened since we had left Forks on Friday morning.

How his dad had treated me, spending time with Cindy and the girls, Alisha and then Jasper standing up to his dad in his speech right through to my request for him to make love to me and then freaking out. I was obviously careful to withhold some details as I wasn't sure how much Jasper would want his mum to know.

"I just feel really stupid and confused." I muttered my eyes still on my tea.

Esme sighed. "You know Alice you may not believe this but you're very lucky."

I finally looked up at her incredulously. I was lucky?

"Not many girls your age know themselves well enough to stop them rushing into things they're not ready for."

She squeezed my arm softly "It's perfectly normal, after everything that happened you, you were a little confused. Sex seems to be everywhere, but I can assure you now you are not the only person who feels like this and I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear my son is actually being a gentleman for once and not pressuring you."

"He wouldn't." I immediately defended him "He says he's willing to go at my pace but I feel bad being so controlling I guess. Like I wont let him do…stuff." I felt my face heat up.

I had been right it was awkward talking to my boyfriends mum about sex.

"It's understandable you feel that way Alice. I'm assuming that Jasper is your first serious boyfriend."

I nodded dropping my eyes again.

"So you're still finding your feet. I know he's my son, but let me tell you now, if he ever does try to force you into anything he doesn't deserve you, if he's not willing to go slow, if he gets impatient or angry he does not deserve you." she said firmly.

"I know. But it's like the more understanding he is the worse I feel. Does that make sense, it's like he's making sacrifices for me or something. I don't know." I sighed "I just wish I had some way of knowing when I will be ready."

Esme chuckled "Oh Alice I'm afraid it doesn't work like that, lord knows it would be easier if it did."

I frowned "So how will I know? I mean I love Jasper but I still can't…I'm scared." I whispered.

Esme wrapped one of her arms around my shoulder hugging me tightly.

"Well if you're scared that's a pretty good indicator you're not ready. I'm not really sure what else I can tell you, you know yourself well enough to know what your boundaries are so trust yourself to know when you're ready to take that step. Alice there is no time limit, no day you'll wake up and suddenly just want to have sex. For some girls they're ready by your age or even younger, but I know some women who have been in their twenties before they've wanted to have sex and trust me there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slowly."

Silence descended as I thought over all of that, in many ways it hadn't been as helpful as I'd hoped but I knew I was naïve to believe I'd wake up one day and just be ready to go all the way.

"Alice?"

I looked up into Esme's caring brown eyes.

"Erm." she seemed a little nervous now "You know about condoms and stuff right?"

I cringed in embarrassment. Guess it didn't matter who it was 'the talk' was never going to be a pleasant experience.

"Yeah." I mumbled "Me and my mum did talk about it when I was a bit younger but obviously I wasn't with anyone or considering having sex back then."

"Ok." she seemed a little relieved.

An awkward silence fell and I drank my tea to give me something to do.

"Do you mind that Jasper's staying over at mine?" I asked when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Not really." she said "I mean he'll be going to collage in a couple of years so I suppose it's something I'll have to get used to, and it makes him happy." she sighed "I was so worried about him when we first moved, his fathers betrayal, starting again how he'd cope, but since he met you."

I glanced up to see her smiling at me.

"He's become a man I'm proud of."

I shook my head a little, I couldn't take all the credit for that.

"You said you love him." She smiled softly at me and I bit my lip nodding slowly.

"I know most people don't think I'm good enough for him…"

She cut me off before I could say anymore.

"Most people don't know what they're talking about." she stated firmly. Her tone softened as she hugged me tight "I could not imagine anyone better for my son." she paused for a second "Whatever my ex husband said you shouldn't listen to because if there is one thing Anthony Whitlock knows nothing about it's love!"

I nodded in response, I knew Jasper hadn't listened to his dads evaluation of me, if he had he'd have shagged Alisha or at the least dumped me the minute I freaked out.

What can I say in many ways I was very insecure, especially when it came to Jasper.

It was nice talking to Esme, it was like talking to my mum but at the same time it was also just like talking to a friend, no matter how close me and mum had been there are always things a child finds hard to share with their parents. With Esme once we were passed the awkwardness it was easy to be honest with her. We chatted a bit more about lighter topics before I decided it was time to head home.

I knew Jasper would be back in a while and made up some pasta sauce for dinner.

Esme had really helped me calm down and stop panicking so damn much every time the word sex entered my head.

She had been right, I knew I wasn't ready to go all the way, my panic attack on Saturday night was a fairly good indicator.

Every time Jasper had tried to explore our physical relationship I'd always panicked thinking it was all heading to that final act. But it didn't have to, there were other things we could try.

My body tingled as I thought of that first orgasm he'd given me. We'd never gone that far since and I had to wonder why.

I had been ok with him doing that and maybe if we built up slowly I'd become more aware of what I was ready for.

I bit my lip to try and stop giggling, earlier this week I'd told him I wanted to spoil him and tonight I was going to give it a go.

* * *

Jasper's pov

I was regretting my rash words on Sunday which resulted in me now sitting in the passenger seat of Doctor Cullen's black Mercedes as he drove us to Port Angeles.

The drive seemed to take no time at all when I'd taken Alice out but the silence that hung heavily in the car made time move at a torturously slow rate.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked trying to start some sort of conversation.

"Well there's a minor league baseball game on tonight. Your mum said you like baseball?" his voice was filled with uncertainty and I actually felt a little sorry for the guy, he was obviously trying to make an effort here.

"Yeah I do." I grimaced at my answer but couldn't think of anything else to say "Are you a fan?" I rolled my eyes at my lame attempts to keep conversation flowing.

"Well I don't really play but I enjoy watching the odd game."

That's a no then!

A thought hit causing me to laugh which I instantly regretted as Doctor Cullen glanced over looking worried.

"Sorry." I said continuing to chuckle "Just had an amusing thought."

He nodded a little curtly and I realised he was probably jumping to the wrong conclusions.

"It's just." I began "Well you're obviously trying to make an effort here doing something I enjoy and I was just thinking my father never bothered this much. It was always me who had to do the shit he liked." I shrugged "I don't know it was just a weird thought."

He cleared his throat "You know I'm not trying to replace your father." he said slowly.

"Yeah I know that." I said quickly "It was just a random thought, everything's still a bit fresh in my mind thanks to last weekend."

Silence fell again but it strangely wasn't as tense this time.

I let my mind wander back to when my mum had told me about this little outing.

I'd just made a pit stop at home to swap my worn clothes for clean ones, something my mum found very amusing.

"Alice doesn't have a washing machine then?" she asked a smile on her face.

"I feel bad expecting her to do my washing." I shrugged making my mum roll her eyes.

"But it's fine expecting me to do it?"

I grinned at her cheekily "No, but it's amazing. You see if I leave my dirty clothes in here." I said throwing a few bits into my laundry basket "One day it just disappears then miraculously ends up back in my wardrobe clean and ironed! It's magic!"

She swatted me playfully around the head.

"Are you free on Thursday night?" she asked after we'd finished laughing.

"I can be. Why?"

She looked at the floor "Well Carlisle was wondering if you wanted to go out somewhere."

"Tell him I'm flattered but I have a girlfriend." I teased before what she'd just said sank in and my face fell "Oh, he wants to do the male bonding thing."

"You said you would." she reminded me.

I groaned loudly "Yeah but, come on, I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my own dad at the moment without having to make an effort with some other guy as well."

"Jasper he's not trying to be your father, he just wants to get to know you a bit better." she said softly.

"He'd probably do a better job!" I mumbled under my breath.

"You don't have to if you don't want." she sighed.

"I'll think about it." I'd said.

Of course then I'd gone and told Alice and she'd done that unfair thing of making me see it was a good opportunity and it was nice of Doctor Cullen to want to make an effort and get to know me.

That's how I found myself in this current situation.

We pulled up outside some rundown park with a few seats set up around the pitch.

This was a bit lower than minor league, in fact I don't think it was any type of league. But Doctor Cullen had tried to make an effort so I kept my mouth shut and just enjoyed the first live game I'd got to see since moving here.

"So who are we supporting?" I asked taking a bite out of the greasy, overpriced hotdog it was only ever acceptable to eat at sporting events.

"Erm, no idea." Doctor Cullen chuckled, wrinkling his nose when I passed him his own hotdog "I'm pretty sure there are one hundred medical reasons alone not to eat that."

I shook my head at him "Come on live a little."

"I intend to which is why I think it's best I don't eat this." he poked at it as though daring it to come alive and attack him or something.

Turns out he really had no clue when it came to baseball and I ended up having to keep up a running commentary just so he knew what was going on.

"I cannot believe you are that clueless!" I laughed as we headed back to his car "It's the all American past time!"

"Ok so I'm not the biggest sports fan." he chuckled pulling out onto the road.

"I'll have to introduce you to Rosalie." I said "She'll be pleased to finally find someone who isn't obsessed."

"Who's Rosalie?" he asked curiously.

"Alice's brother's girlfriend." I reeled off.

He gave me a small smile but didn't comment. Without me needing to say he took me back to Alice's.

"Thanks I had a good time." I mumbled when he stopped the car.

"I'm glad, I'll probably see you this weekend."

I nodded getting out the car "See you Carlisle."

His face broke into a big smile making me frown until I realised that's the first time I'd ever used his name.

Alice opened the door beaming at me.

"Honey I'm home." I joked leaning in for a kiss.

"Did you have fun?" she asked as we headed through to the kitchen.

"Yeah actually I did." I admitted surprised that I was pleased about that.

"Did you eat already?"

I felt kind of bad that I had when I saw Alice had made something.

"Erm…"

She turned and smiled at me "Jazz it's fine if you're not hungry. It's only pasta sauce it will keep."

I smiled back "Yeah we ate there."

She turned to get herself something to eat and skipped back over to me. She seemed to be in a really good mood hopping up onto a stool and tucking into her pasta.

"So what did you do with yourself while I was gone?" I asked getting myself a drink and joining her.

She sighed looking up at me with sad eyes "I was at such a loss." she said "I never know what to do when you're not here." she couldn't keep up the act for long and ended up giggling.

I rolled my eyes "It was just a question Mini." I said flicking some water at her.

"Actually I went to see your mum."

That caught my attention.

"Really?"

She nodded "Yeah we had a chat you know and I've come to a bit of a decision."

I swallowed nervously "Decision?"

She refused to say anything else as she finished her dinner and then cleaned up and I was left with my mind going from one extreme to another. In my head she was either breaking up with me or going to try to have sex with me again.

I seriously hoped it was the latter.

My hope grew a little as she took my hand and led me up to her bedroom rather than into the lounge.

"So, decision?" I pressed before I ended up going too far and ruining things again.

"Well." Alice said as she settled herself cross legged on her bed pulling me down to face her "I've come to realise that I was really stupid on Saturday night trying to force myself, even though I didn't think I was at the time."

Right so we wouldn't be having sex then.

"But, I also realised that one of the reasons I'm so controlling about what I let you do is because I'm scared it would inevitably lead to, well, sex. Which I'm not ready for." She frowned a little "Do you understand?" she asked softly.

"Sort of." I said slowly.

"Ok well." she chewed her lip still frowning as she thought "That time when you…went down on me." her cheeks burned and I tried very hard not to smirk.

"Yeah I remember that." I teased a little.

"Well I was ok with that, because you didn't push for more after."

I nodded starting to see where this was going.

"So sex is still a big no no, but you're going to be a bit more open to other things?" I asked wanting her to confirm what I was thinking.

She nodded "But you do know I'm not well, I've never done anything so…I don't know what I'm doing."

That time I couldn't help but smirk as my mind went wild with all the things I wanted to do to her. Pulling her to me I pressed my lips to hers, trying to hold back my desire to push her onto her back and make her scream for me, I kept it slow and reassuring breaking off when she relaxed.

"Don't worry darlin." I whispered trailing my lips over her jaw "As they say, practise makes perfect."

Pushing her onto her back my hands went to unbutton her jeans. After all she'd said it was ok for me to go down on her.

Before I could get them off I felt her fingers slide under my t-shirt, trailing slowly over my stomach.

"One more thing." she said sweetly.

I looked back at her face to see her eyes dancing with mischief, her hands pushed against my chest and I let her direct me onto my back.

Hopping up she pulled her jeans and socks off herself before moving to straddle my waist, I groaned in appreciation my hands running over her thighs as she tugged my t-shirt up.

"I still haven't had my chance to spoil you this week." she whispered leaning close to my ear once we'd removed my t-shirt.

I could tell she was a little nervous as her fingers slowly explored my chest, my eyes fluttered closed in bliss as she followed the trail of her fingers with her lips.

Running my hands up her legs I slowly began to caress her ass and I felt her gasp softly against my chest.

It was insane how sexy plain cotton panties could be on the right girl.

"Alice." I murmured her head came up to look at me and I shifted sitting up a little so I could bring my lips to hers, teasing her by pressing soft little pecks on her lips pulling back every time she tried to deepen it.

"Mini." I asked softly "Will you take you panties off for me?"

She pulled back to look at me "I was trying to spoil you." she said frowning.

I smiled closing the distance again to keep up my teasing "You can, by giving me what I want." I finally pushed my tongue past her slightly parted lips plundering her mouth.

She moaned into my mouth her hands were resting on my shoulders supporting her and I felt her nails dig slightly into my skin.

Fuck that felt good.

Alice broke her lips from mine and nibbled down my jaw.

For someone who didn't have much experience she sure as hell knew how to get me painfully hard as she lightly bit down above my collar bone letting out a delighted giggle as I moaned softly.

My hands ran up to tug her panties down myself and she sat up to help me remove them. I met her eyes and saw her swallow nervously, sending her a reassuring smile I took her wrists pulling her back down and placing her hands on my shoulders again before my hands went back to her ass moving around until my fingers teased her entrance moaning at how wet she was.

My other hand went to tangle in her short hair pulling her lips to mine as I continued to tease her, she whimpered a little her hips rocked back against my fingers.

Slowly I inserted one into her, she gasped puling back and I froze. Fuck had I just gone too far?

Our eyes met, she was looking at me waiting, uncertain as to what happened now.

_Well she hasn't told you to stop._

With that in mind I slowly started to pump in and out of her watching her face as her eyes fluttered and her breathing spend up a little.

She was so tight, I felt her walls stretching around me as I added another finger causing a whimper to pass her lips.

I sped up curling my fingers slightly and her head fell forward a near constant stream of moans and whimpers reaching my ears, her nails dug into my shoulders increasing my own arousal.

I kept my eyes on her face wanting to watch her, last time I hadn't been able to as my face had been buried between her thighs.

"Jasper." she moaned nearly making me loose my shit right there.

Fuck that was so hot! This girl was going to kill me!

I ran my free hand down her gently kneading her breasts through her clothes not wanting to push for too much straight away. She moaned again but not my name.

I wanted her to moan my name again so my hand continued it's journey south to where my fingers continued to work her.

Her eyes snapped back to mine as I found her clit and I couldn't help smirk as her eyes fluttered.

"Oh fuck" she whimpered, her legs started to shake either side of me and her hands tightened her nails now almost painful as they dug into me.

"Jasper. Fuck."

She clenched around my fingers as she let go moaning as she came and looking absolutely fucking beautiful.

I supported her as her body collapsed against mine pressing little kisses over her face. As her breathing evened out she rolled away putting her underwear back on self consciously.

I shook my head a little wondering if she'd ever gain that self confidence to be happy lying naked with me. I really hoped she would.

She was chewing her lip when she turned back to me but I could see the rather large smile there.

"See what you've been missing out on." I teased making her giggle.

She moved to lie down across me kissing my abs and I tangled my fingers in her hair loving the feel of her soft lips against my skin, wondering what they'd feel like wrapped around my dick.

Oh god, that would feel good!

I frowned when she stopped and looked down at her, she had sat up a little and her eyes were on the bulge pushing against my jeans.

Her smile had fallen and her eyes flickered up to meet mine I could see how nervous she was now.

"Do you want me to…" she trailed off her eyes dropping.

Now this was a new situation. Did I want her to? Fuck yes I did.

I took a deep breath trying to find that one redeeming shred of gentleman in me.

"You don't have to do anything Alice." I said slowly.

She relaxed a little and I felt the disappointment rise in me. Of course she didn't have to do anything but I would really love it if she did.

* * *

Alice's pov

Playing was fun!

I'd thought Jasper's tongue had been impressive, well his fingers were better.

At first it had felt a bit weird but once I'd relaxed into it…well what can I say but fuck me!

I also rather enjoyed the reactions I had gotten from Jasper as my mouth had explored his chest kissing, sucking and nibbling, finding out what he liked.

That had all been fine, but now I was faced with the next bit.

It wasn't fair to keep letting him pleasure me and give nothing back but as I let my eyes wander down to his straining jeans nerves erupted in me.

I glanced up to find Jasper's eyes on me.

"Do you want me to…" I trailed off. To what exactly? I had no fucking idea.

"You don't have to do anything Alice." he said his eyes reassuring and that helped me relax. He wasn't expecting anything from me, which was good because I was pretty sure I'd mess this up somehow.

My fingers danced over his firm stomach following that little trail of hair to where it disappeared below the waist band of his jeans.

Very slowly my fingers went to the button and I cursed my nerves as I fumbled trying to get it undone.

_It's just a button Alice, clam down, breath. You've told him enough times you're clueless here._

I didn't dare look at Jasper as I continued trying to remember how you undid jeans.

When I finally got them undone he lifted his hips off the bed so I could pull them down and helped kick them off. I paused by his feet for a second then pulled his socks off because they just looked weird.

I heard him chuckle softly and felt a little boost to my confidence until my eyes moved up his legs to were his boxers now tented out. My eyes flickered up to his taking in his bare chest and I realised Jasper was practically naked lying on my bed.

His eyes held mine waiting for me to make the next move, the only problem was I had no idea what that move was.

Uncertainty grew in me and Jasper obviously realised because he sat up wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down to lie beside him.

I took a shaky breath as one of his hands ran soothingly over my back.

"You don't have to do anything." he murmured again.

I sighed "Jazz, I want to." I said honestly "I just don't know what." I squirmed in embarrassment. I was such a kid.

I felt Jaspers lips press to my head "Do you trust me?" he whispered.

I rolled my eyes, I was lying here with him half naked after all. "Yes I trust you." I said pulling myself up so I could look into his deep blue eyes.

With another reassuring smile he took hold of my hand carefully and guided it down under the waist band of his boxers our eyes never breaking contact until he'd wrapped my hand around…him and his eyes fluttered slightly as he let out a deep breath.

I bit my lip nervously, it was warmer than I'd have thought and smoother. I don't know what I'd expected, cold and slimy like a snake or something. I nearly laughed when I thought that but thankfully held it in.

I may be inexperienced but even I knew laughing at this moment in time would have been very bad.

Taking the initiative a little I ran my hand along him only to stop as he shifted next to me.

"Am I doing it wrong?" I asked in panic, Jasper chuckled softly.

"No. that's fine, that feels…really good." he moaned as I started moving my hand again.

I kept my eyes on his face and continued running my hand up and down his, rather impressive, length, taking in everything that played across his face trying to figure out what he liked.

I giggled in delight my confidence growing as I tightened my hand a little and his hips bucked up off the bed.

"Fuck Alice." he moaned "Faster, please." he begged and I happily complied.

It didn't take much more before I felt him twitching in my hand, the next second Jasper yelled out a very loud profanity and something warm and sticky covered my hand. Pulling it out of his boxers I examined the stuff on it in amazement. I had just made Jasper cum!

I looked down at him, his chest rising and falling quickly. His eyes were on my face but flickered to my hand for a second.

"Sorry." he chuckled.

I bit my lip giggling a little myself "That's ok, I guess it was kind of my fault."

He laughed more pushing himself up on his elbows looking at me carefully as I continued to stare at my hand in amazement.

"You ok?" he asked slowly.

I nodded finally looking at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I bit my lip "You ok?" I asked.

He sat up more kissing me softly "I have never been better." he mumbled against my mouth, my clean hand went to tangle in his hair keeping his lips pressed to mine as I kissed him hungrily.

We broke apart gasping for air. My fingers played with the soft curls at his neck.

"We should get cleaned up." Jasper panted his hands gripping my hips tightly.

All I could do was nod as I crawled backwards off the bed and headed for the bathroom, leaving Jasper my ensuite.

By the time I got back Jasper was dressed in his jeans and t-shirt again lying on my bed with his hands behind his head looking like he owned the place.

He sat up as I walked in.

"Hey." he opened his arms for me as I crawled back over to him.

"Hey yourself." I grinned snuggling into his chest.

"You ok?" he asked again and I giggled at how sweet he was being.

"Yeah I'm fine." my hand went into his jeans rubbing him through his boxers "I think I made a new friend." I giggled again.

"You certainly did." Jasper growled lowly letting out a groan of disappointment as I withdrew my hand. "He's been very anxious to meet you." Jasper grinned at me.

"Well I hope I didn't disappoint." I tried to keep my tone light but I think a little of my fear slipped out because Jasper's arms tightened around me and he ran his lips down my neck.

"You could never disappoint." he mumbled.

"Thank you." I sighed happily he frowned so I elaborated a little "For being so understanding and for being willing to do this slowly."

He chuckled his lips still travelling over my neck "Mini it's fine and if that was anything to go by you are most defiantly worth the wait!"

Hugging him tight I snuggled back to his chest "I love you." I whispered.

"That's good to know." he chuckled "Because I love you."

His head came down nuzzling at my jaw until I moved allowing him to capture my lips in a loving caress.

* * *

**Well that was that lol.**

**Let me know what you think. xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: ****I don not own Twilight all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Interruptions **

Jasper's pov

I am possibly the only teenager who hates weekends.

As I lay in bed alone on Friday night I was dreading the next two days, Carlisle was taking me and mum out tomorrow to some old house which my mum was very excited about because it apparently had some historical significance and some nice interiors or something.

The only reason I'd agreed to go was because the alternative was staying home and pining over not being able to see Alice.

Yes my life had reached knew levels of pathetic when the highlight of my weekend was walking around some dead guys house with my mum and her boyfriend!

This was the third weekend since my dad's wedding and it wasn't getting any easier to spend time away from Alice.

I knew spending all week with her probably wasn't making the separation at the weekend any easier, at the same time it was hard to think about that when I had the chance to spend four nights as week with her in my arms sometimes being able to explore her perfect petite body.

My fingers tingled with memories of last night when they had once again made her scream in ecstasy.

I quickly stopped thinking about that before I ended up with another hard on, and it wasn't something I wanted seeing as how Alice wasn't here to help me with it!

She was still nervous and often hesitant when we got intimate but she was very keen to learn, and I'll admit I had a lot of fun teaching her.

I finally managed to drop off to sleep with the thought that once I woke up it would only be two nights until I got to see Alice again.

As I'd assumed Saturday was boring and I sent a silent thank you to whoever invented ipods which was the only thing that kept me sane. Carlisle tried to tell me some random facts about the place but soon gave up after taking in the vacant look on my face.

"Don't be too offended." I heard my mum tell him "He's spent the last few weekends like this. It must be love." she teased me ruffling my hair.

"Mum." I grumbled starting to wish I'd stayed home, or better yet had someone to hang out with other than Alice.

I was on fairly good terms with a guy called Ben but he spent his weekends with his girlfriend Angela. My mind wandered to Edward and I knew things must have gotten bad.

Back in Texas I'd never been short of friends, you never really had to call just head to one of our usual hangs to find someone. Forks was a lot smaller, and I had only been here five months and I had alienated the 'popular' kids when I ditched Mike, anyone who wanted to get in with his group, avoided me and those who didn't weren't all that interesting.

I thought about it long and hard as we continued to wander around, my mum and Carlisle seemed enthralled by things like tapestries and vases and I just continued to evaluate my life.

I wondered where I would be if my dad had never had his affair. If we were still a family in Texas, if things had never changed. I'd still have been a cocky ass player trying to live up to my dads expectations.

I'd never have met Alice.

I took a deep steadying breath, it felt like a knife had been thrust through my heart when I thought about that and I realised in a sick twisted way it was thanks to my dad I'd actually got to meet her, got to have her in my life.

I glanced over when I heard my mum laughing looking happier than I can ever remember as Carlisle talked to her.

Yes it was fucked up, but if my dad had never put us through everything he had we'd never have run to Forks.

I'd never have met Alice my mum would never have met Carlisle. We'd have been ok but we'd never have been this happy.

That was the big change. The one that made all the shit worth while. We were happy, both of us.

We had created a new life here and it was good. As much as I missed my social life in Texas I wouldn't trade what I had now for it.

I wouldn't trade Alice for anything.

"Hey are you ok?" my mum asked.

I nodded "Just thinking about the past and stuff."

She chuckled "The past? Jasper you're only seventeen."

I shrugged "Yeah I know. I was thinking about Texas." I admitted "I don't really miss it anymore you know. Forks has really started to feel like home." I shook my head with a laugh "I don't know, it's this damn place it's turning me nostalgic!"

"Nearly done." she told me "Then we can go get something to eat."

I smiled a little as she went back to Carlisle and he took hold of her hand.

It was stupid but thinking back this was the family I wish I'd had growing up. My dad had never really done family days out. He was too selfish it was always me and mum that tried to bridge the gap, make the effort to spend time with him. I shook my head and sighed, not anymore, if he still wanted me to be his son it was his turn to prove that.

He had made no attempts to contact me since the wedding and I had, obviously, not bothered to call him. I had had enough trying to be the grownup in that relationship.

Yes I'd admit what I had done at his wedding probably wasn't the nicest thing and I would happily apologise for it, if, and only if, he apologised for everything he'd done.

It was a futile hope, my dad had never apologised in his life and I doubted he'd start now. He was one of those people who couldn't see his own flaws, which was surprising seeing as how he had so fucking many.

Part of me knew the only time I'd hear from him would be if he ever needed a kidney transplant or something. Deep down I knew it would be me who made the first move if, one day in the future, I ever wanted to make up with him.

"Jasper."

I shook my head to clear it and looked up to find Carlisle frowning a little at me.

"You ready for something to eat?"

Giving a half heated smile I nodded. Following him out to where his car was parked I decided I was sick of being so damn emo every weekend when I didn't have Alice around to keep me happy.

I shouldn't be this depressed. Sure my life wasn't perfect but who's fucking was?

Things could be a lot worse.

My mum was happy, she'd found a good man who treated her well and who I got on well with. And as for me, well I was in love with the most amazing girl who, even more amazingly, loved me back.

I smiled happily all in all life was pretty damn good right now.

* * *

Alice's pov

I still loved weekends, I still loved spending time with Emmett and Rosalie. But I missed Jasper. It was silly I'd only seen him yesterday and I spent all week with him, but I still missed him.

Most nights he wasn't here I ended up cuddling his pillow as it smelt like him, even after three weeks the separation didn't get easier and on Saturday night I decided to test the waters with Emmett.

I made his favourite chilli and as we settled in the lounge to eat it I tried to think how best to breach this subject. I wanted to keep Emmett as clueless as possible about me and Jasper just in case he took it really badly, but I knew that would be the direction he'd instantly go in if I wasn't careful.

"Em, do you have any plans for next weekend?" I asked slowly as I got an idea.

"Not really. I mean nothing other than the usual, why?" his curiosity was spiked warning me to tread carefully.

"It's just, well I was invited out next Saturday night and I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to do something."

"Invited out? Like…by who?"

And there's the overprotective big brother!

"No one really." I rolled my eyes "Just someone from school."

"Am I getting a name?"

I looked up into his serious eyes.

"Eric Yorkie." I felt a little guilty using Eric like that, but he had asked me out once when we were twelve. I had turned him down.

"So it's a date?" Emmett growled, Rosalie gave him a warning look.

I guess that answers my question on whether Emmett would be willing to let Jasper stay over. If he was that angry at the thought of me going on one date what would he do if he ever found out about me and Jasper.

"I don't know." I said now on a mission to calm him down "I'm not even sure if I want to go, I mean Eric is a bit weird."

"You should defiantly trust your instincts there Alice." Emmett said quickly seeming relieved.

"Yeah you're probably right." I conceded noticing Rose glare a little at Emmett.

The subject dropped but I did notice Emmett keeping a slightly closer eye on me for the rest of the weekend and had to be very careful not to leave my phone lying around as dirty messages were something I was practising after finding out Jasper liked that sort of thing.

It would probably give Emmett a heart attack if he read how much Jasper loved me screaming his name when he made me cum!

"You know he's just being stupid." Rosalie told me as she helped me make dinner on Sunday "Emmett." she clarified seeing my confused expression "If you want to go out on a date you can. Emmett was dating, and more, by your age so he has no power to stop you."

I shrugged "I know, but I really don't like Eric that much." I said truthfully.

"Anyone you do like?" she asked with a smile and I had to bite my lip hard to stop a give away smile breaking across my face.

"Not really." I said trying not to actually lie, I mean there wasn't anyone I liked because I loved Jasper.

_Yeah Alice that defence will hold up in court!_

Thankfully she didn't get to push the matter more because Emmett came in.

That night as I settled down to sleep the depression I used to feel on a Sunday was completely overridden by the giddy excitement at knowing tomorrow night I'd be sleeping in Jasper's arms again.

Monday morning, as was our tradition, Jasper arrived early at my house so he could drop his supplies for the week off and we could get in a heavy session of making out before school.

"God I missed you." he growled in my ear as my lips attacked his jaw and neck.

He pushed me onto my back on the sofa, I lay there panting heavily and stared up at him as his eyes darkened with lust.

His hands went to the neck of my thin sweater pulling it down until it revealed the top of my bra.

I swallowed nervously, there were still things I still wasn't comfortable with and topless was one of them. Since that one time we'd tried to have sex Jasper had only ever seen me in just my bra twice more. I was fine with almost everything else but for some reason I just couldn't get passed that.

Jasper buried his face in my, less than impressive, cleavage his lips following the top line of my bra. With a growl he suddenly bit down causing me to gasp in shock as his teeth sank into my soft flesh.

Running his tongue across the spot once he sat up and I immediately shifted so I could look at the damage. He hadn't broken the skin, of course he'd never hurt me like that, but a large purple mark shone very clearly against my pale skin.

I turned my wide eyes to him only to find him smirking his eyes still dark. Crawling back over me he forced me back down onto the sofa.

"Mine." he stated his head dipping to nuzzle at the spot he'd marked.

I wasn't sure whether to be a little scared at this side of him or thoroughly turned on. Turns out my damned hormones decided for me.

Placing a final kiss on his mark he rearranged my sweater to cover it and stretched up to kiss me.

"Sorry." he mumbled "Got a bit carried away."

"Uhuh" was all I managed to squeak out.

So it seems I did like him biting me, marking me, claiming me as his.

Oh why did it have to be Monday? Stupid school!

Jasper chuckled one of his hands came to play with my hair as I tried to regain some form of coherent thought.

"Ready for school?" he smiled.

I nodded still not quite capable of speech. Jasper moved off me allowing me to stand and go see the damage in the mirror.

"Sorry." he said again coming to stand behind me his arms snaking around my waist.

"At least no one can see it." I said straightening my top still not willing to admit to him just how much it really did turn me on knowing he'd marked me "Time for school." I said running a hand through my hair to tame it a little.

Jasper placed a kiss at the base of my neck "Time for after school." he growled his hands slipping into my jeans.

I squirmed away before he could convince me to skip another day.

"In order for after school we need to go to school." I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

Before I took three steps Jasper had me pinned against a wall "Just so you know, this weekend has been torturous without you and I have every intention of making up for that tonight."

I swallowed nervously "Jasper, you've never been this…" I couldn't think of the word "Like this before." I stammered.

His face softened "I've just decided to make the most of every second I get to spend with you Mini."

I giggled "Like you didn't before." I teased.

He chuckled and took my hand as we headed for his car "Come on sooner we get to school sooner we can get back." he winked at me.

Jasper was in a very naughty mood all day, which became more than apparent in Biology as Mr. Banner decided to show us a video, ask me what about and I couldn't tell you because Jasper took full advantage of the dark to get me incredibly hot and bothered.

For once I insisted on staying in the cafeteria for lunch, where there were plenty of people stopping him from trying anything else.

"You seemed to enjoy it." he said innocently.

"I did enjoy it, but I'd prefer if we left that kind of behaviour for when we're in private."

He was like a dog in heat and I was actually getting a little worried about what would happen when we got home.

"This is what you do to me Mini." he smirked at me.

"Ok well any hints on how to stop doing it to you?" I snapped back at him making him frown "Sorry." I immediately apologised "I'm just still getting used to all this."

He nodded understandingly "You want us to slow down a bit?" he asked.

Sighing heavily I shook my head "Not really but could we just not speed up? I like how things are at the moment."

"Sure thing Mini." he smiled happily "Sorry, I do tend to get a bit carried away."

"Yes you do." I teased him.

He smirked again "I haven't heard you complaining recently. Screaming maybe, but not complaining!" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively making my cheeks flush.

My toes curled at the memories and I took a deep breath to try and stay in control of my traitorous teenage body.

Jasper chuckled "So you're not complaining about that then?"

"Jasper time and place." I reminded him my eyes scanning the cafeteria to check if anyone was eavesdropping.

"Ok, so we'll _talk _later."

Why did he have to do this to me? How was it that such a simple sentence could bring me to my knees, begging at his feet for him to take me home and do whatever the hell he wanted to me?

I was grateful I didn't have anymore classes with Jasper and took the afternoon to try and clear my head.

Mondays were always a little frantic, after two days separation we tended to be a bit desperate to get reacquainted. It was never usually this bad though.

Still, part of me was looking forward to getting home so I could have Jasper's head between my thighs, his tongue running over me as his fingers teased me before his lips moved up to…

"Miss McCarty!"

I jumped and my eyes went quickly to the board "Y equals 4." I answered smiling sweetly, hoping Mrs. Davies hadn't noticed my mind had been a long way from trigonometry.

She scowled, probably because I'd actually got it right, and turned back to explain how I'd got that answer and I let my mind wander back to Jasper.

When we got home he was more than happy to live out my little trigonometry daydream.

My fingers tangled in his hair pulling him closer and I wondered if I'd ever get tired of this.

"I will never get tired of that." Jasper said, seeming to read my thoughts.

Crawling back up to lay beside me he grinned at me as I tried to catch my breath.

"How about you?" he asked one of his hands slipping inside my shirt to fondle me.

"Well." I said happy to just lie back as he continued making all kinds of good feelings shoot through me "I think you may be loosing your touch."

Jasper froze sitting up to look at me and I tried not to smile.

"Oh really?" he asked raising an eyebrow and I couldn't stop giggling "We'll see about that Miss McCarty." he declared pushing my knees up and settling back between them "You do realise I'm in complete control here." he added "And you are going to pay dearly for that!"

I felt his breath against my most sensitive area and tried not to squirm "Do your worst." I challenged sounding breathless.

Both of us moaned in regret as someone hammered on the door.

"Ignore it." Jasper demanded as I made to sit up "Mini come on, who's it going to be a salesman? Just ignore it."

They knocked again louder and more desperate this time.

"I'll be right back." I sighed climbing off the bed and pulling my jeans on not bothering with underwear. If this turned out to be a Jehovah's witness!

"Bella!" I exclaimed in shock as I opened the door to find her standing there tears streaming down her face "What happened?" I asked in alarm as she simply collapsed against me, nearly making my knees buckle, and just sobbed.

I somehow managed to drag her to the sofa before I collapsed.

"Bella what happened?" I asked again softly.

She looked up at me with bloodshot eyes "My dad" was all she managed to choke out before she broke down again.

"You told him." I tried again when she seemed to calm down a little.

She gave a little sob "Well he found out." she shook her head tears still pouring from her eyes.

"And?" I pressed just wanting to find out what was wrong.

"He said he'd had enough and that if I wanted to live my own life I could go do it, but not under his roof."

I frowned a little in confusion.

"It's what I always yelled at him when he got up in my face about going out and stuff, that it was my life and I'd live it my way."

"So he threw you out?" I asked feeling stupid that I needed clarification.

She nodded then broke down crying again.

"Alice?" I looked over to where Jasper stood by the door his face unreadable.

"I'll be right back Bella." I assured before following Jasper through to the kitchen.

"You said that to me about twenty minutes ago." Jasper said his voice harsh.

"Don't do this now." I pleaded.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Jasper what do you want me to do?" I asked "Her dads just thrown her out."

He shook his head "So you're going to let her stay here?"

I bit my lip, I hadn't really thought of that "If she wants to." I said quietly.

"Why can't she go stay at Edward's? she's his girlfriend." he hissed obviously trying to make sure she wouldn't overhear.

I shrugged my eyes dropped to the floor "She can stay tonight if she wants and talk to Edward when she's calmed down tomorrow."

"Fine." he moved past me to grab his schoolbag out of the dinning room.

"What are you doing?" I asked fear rising in me at the thought of him leaving.

Turning to me his face softened a little as he seemed to read my panic.

"I'm going up to your room to do some homework so you two can talk or whatever." I could tell he was still pissed at me.

"Thanks Jazz." I murmured as he headed for the stairs. He didn't respond.

Sometimes it really did just feel like I could do nothing right.

I made Bella a drink before going back to her, she was still curled up on the sofa hiccoughing softly as she tried to reign in her tears.

"Here." I handed her the mug of camomile tea.

"Thanks Alice." she gave me a watery smile as I sat back down next to her.

"Did you want to stay here tonight?" I asked after a while.

She sniffled some more and I passed her a box of tissues "I can't get hold of Edward." she said not really answering my question "I think he went out with his parents."

"So you need a place to stay tonight." I kept putting the tonight on. I would quite happily let Bella stay here indefinitely, she needed somewhere and I had more than enough room, but I knew if I offered her that Jasper would probably walk out and that scared me. I was being selfish putting my wants above Bella's needs and I felt guilty about that, just not guilty enough to change it.

"I'll talk to Edward as soon as I can and sort something out Alice I promise." she rushed out desperately. "I know I'm putting you out but I promise it wont be for long."

"B it's fine." I assured taking one of her hands and squeezing it tightly "Just don't worry about that tonight ok."

"I hope Edward's parents take it better." Bella said.

"You know your dads probably just in shock, if you give him some time I'm sure he'll come around."

Even if Bella and Charlie weren't as close as I remembered I still couldn't see him turning his back on her completely.

She shook her head "He's not going to listen to me Alice, no matter what I say."

I thought that over, he wouldn't listen to Bella but maybe I could get him to listen to me. I looked over to Bella, she was crying again, extending my arms around her I offered all the comfort I could.

"It's going to be ok Bella." I whispered soothingly.

I heated up leftovers for dinner taking Jasper's upstairs to him, he grunted as I placed it on the bedside table but didn't speak to me.

Setting up the spare room for Bella I rooted out a t-shirt of Emmett's for her to sleep in, nothing I owned would fit her.

She went to bed early, exhausted from the days events and I made my way back to Jasper.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked as I walked in.

He glanced up at me but quickly looked away sighing heavily "I'm not mad at you Mini. I just…" he sighed again but didn't finish his sentence.

Getting into bed beside him my hand slipped into his boxers "I can always make it up to you."

His hand closed around my wrist removing my hand.

"Not with your house guest three doors down." he stated firmly.

My heart sank. If he was refusing to let me get him off I knew things were bad.

Shuffling down under the duvet he lay down turning his back on my. Tears sprang to my eyes, it would have hurt less if he'd slapped me.

"Why did you bother staying?" I asked angrily trying to fight back the tears as I violently tugged the duvet up.

I heard him sigh heavily again "Because I love you." he said reaching one hand back to take hold of mine.

I curled up against his back relaxing a little when he didn't move away from me.

I guess I really could do nothing right.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**New chapter yay! There are several reasons I am posting this chapter now, the main one being I've just finished it and am in a good mood because I have just recieved my 100th review. But also the weather is lovely where I am and I intend to make the most of it over the weekend, therefore I wont be near a computer, therefore I wont be able to update. So rather than making you all wait until next week I thought I'd post this now and spread the joy, as it were. Sorry very long AN. xx **

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**Chapter 18: From Yesterday **

Alice's pov

Bella arranged to move in with Edward for a while so on Tuesday night I decided to go see Charlie.

Jasper was far from happy I was getting involved and I did wonder if I should just keep my nose out, but I couldn't. Bella needed her father.

"I'm just going to talk to him, Jazz please try to understand…" I begged pathetically.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked angrily "You wanna be friends with Bella, just forgive and forget fine. I don't argue with that, no matter how wrong I think it is. But why are you putting yourself out like this? Why can't Bella just talk to him herself? Why can't her and Edward deal with their own fucking problems?"

"Charlie wont listen to Bella. I'm just trying to help." I whispered.

He shook his head glaring at me angrily "You are such a fucking doormat!" he growled before storming out of the house.

I flinched as the front door slammed and blinked back the tears that formed, I could break down over Jasper later but for now I had to go see Charlie.

I wasn't really sure what I was going to say to him or if I'd be any help at all, but Bella was all Charlie had and deep down I knew he'd want her home.

He was in a bad mood when he opened the door but smiled when he saw me.

"Alice, how have you been? It's been ages since I last saw you."

"Hi Charlie, I'm fine." I smiled back.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his weathered face creasing into a confused frown.

I bit my lip "I wanted to talk to you." I said softly.

His frown deepened and I saw worry cross his face. "About what? Has something happened?"

I smiled reassuringly, Charlie was so sweet "No I'm fine, erm I wanted to talk to you about Bella."

His face darkened "What about Bella?" he snapped gruffly his friendly mood vanishing.

"Could I come in?" I didn't really want to discuss this on the doorstep.

He seemed to think about that before stepping back and holding the door open for me.

"Thanks." he just grunted in response striding into the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge he paused before grabbing me a soda and pointing to the little table, I sat down opposite him.

"What about Bella?" he asked grumpily.

I shrugged "She came to my house last night and she was very upset." I told him honestly.

"I didn't know you were friends anymore."

"Did she ever tell you why we stopped being friends?" I asked my eyes on the can before me.

He sighed heavily and his anger seemed to melt away "No, we haven't really talked, properly talked, in years."

I looked over at Charlie wondering how much to tell him.

"What's this about Alice?" he asked angrily when I didn't speak for a while.

"This is about me knowing Bella doesn't want to lose you." I said softly "And deep down I don't think you want to lose Bella either."

He blinked in surprise and I took his moment of shock to press on.

"Charlie I know I have no right to come here and tell you how to react or what to do and I'm not trying to do that. Bella made a mistake, in fact she's made a lot and she'll be the first person to admit that. But she's scared and confused right now and she really needs you."

He stood suddenly making me jump.

"I think you should leave." he growled.

I nodded I knew not to push too hard "Ok, I'm sorry Charlie." I stood "Thanks for letting me try." I smiled and headed for the door.

"Why did you try?" he asked before I could leave.

I couldn't look at him as I answered. "I don't know, I suppose I'm selfish in many ways, I can't see things objectively especially when it comes to family. I just know how hard it is to lose someone and the thought of others having to go through that when they don't have to…" I glanced back, Charlie had a thoughtful look on his face "I'm sorry Charlie I didn't want to guilt trip you."

I hadn't meant to say that, I really didn't mean to guilt people like that. I was pretty sure that's what I'd done to Jasper regarding his dads wedding, and we all know how well that turned out!

Charlie gave me a tight smile before tilting his head indicating for me to sit down again.

"How've you been coping?" he winced "Sorry that's a terrible word to use."

I laughed lightly "I'm coping fine."

He shook his head "I always meant to keep a check, make sure you were ok. Help."

I shrugged "It's ok. You had your own life. Me and Em were ok. I mean it's not perfect but we cope." I smiled at him.

Charlie shook his head slowly "I can't believe it's been nearly three years."

My stomach tightened as all the familiar feelings of grief and heartache rose. I really didn't want to talk about this but Charlie was looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah." I chocked out "I guess in many ways I'm still just going day to day you know, it's weird thinking it's been… three years." my voice trailed off to a whisper and I took a deep breath I stop myself being overwhelmed. "So much has changed." I whispered.

"Your parents would be proud of you." he said softly smiling at me.

I nodded trying to smile back as tears welled in my eyes, I didn't want to do this now. I didn't want to break down here. I was here to try and help Bella.

"It's hard." I finally admitted "Without them."

"It's bound to be Alice." Charlie said sympathetically.

We stayed quiet for a while as I calmed myself down and tried to focus on why I was actually here.

"It's one of those things you never think will happen to you and when it does it like your whole life is glass and it shatters into so many pieces that no matter how carefully you rebuild it, it will never be the same again." now I'd started talking it was like I couldn't shut myself up it all just kept coming out.

I shook my head firmly and took a swig from my soda "Coping probably was the best word to use." I tried to joke "It's all you can do."

Charlie nodded giving me a very hard look, like he was seeing straight through me, he took a very deep breath and let it out slowly "I don't know what to do about Bella." he said quietly.

I chewed my lip "You don't have to decide right now." I told him grateful he'd redirected the conversation.

He gave me another piercing look before his face softened and he let out a small chuckle "When did you grow up? You have more wisdom than most adults I know put together."

I shrugged again, I'd just been through more than most people. I wasn't wise I just said what I thought, it wasn't particularly a good quality, life was fleeting and there just wasn't time to worry about the little things.

"Does Bella know you're here?" he asked after a while.

I shook my head "No, I didn't want to get her hopes up. I just had to do something, she was pretty much inconsolable last night and I know Edward's kind of freaked so he's not much use…" I trailed off as I saw Charlie's face tighten in anger at the mention of Edward's name.

"Didn't think he'd be much use." he growled.

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself once again pointing out how much Bella needed Charlie now. I knew if I pushed too much he'd just close down again out of stubbornness.

"Yeah Edward's always been a bit of a muppet." I said instead "His only redeeming quality is that he really does love Bella."

Charlie grunted taking a swig from his beer.

"I knew that boy was trouble, but would she listen to me?" he muttered to himself "I tell you if I ever get hold of him."

"Bella's staying with him now." I informed him "So she's ok. I mean she's not living on the streets or anything."

Charlie nodded but the unhappy frown didn't leave his face and I had a feeling his opinion of Edward would actually be very helpful when it came to repairing his damaged relationship with Bella.

I decided to leave him now so he could mull things over and I could get out of there before the topic of my parents came up again and I ended up having an overemotional breakdown.

"Would it be ok if I grabbed some clothes for her while I'm here?" I asked slowly.

Charlie's frown turned from unhappy to confused "Erm. Yeah."

Smiling I hopped up and made my way upstairs to Bella's room. It had changed a lot since the last time I had been in there. The pictures of wolves and wildlife traded in for different rock bands with offensive names.

I grabbed her a couple of changes of clothes and a nightie before heading to the bathroom to pick up some toiletries.

Charlie looked sad as I came downstairs, my arms laden with Bella's things. I think it was finally hitting home for him what he'd done. The anger was draining and he realised Bella was gone.

"Thanks Charlie." I gave him a warm smile "For everything." I added before heading to my car.

I took another deep calming breath as I got behind the wheel wondering if I should take up yoga or something to help me stay calm.

Bella's things where in the trunk, she would have to wait until tomorrow for her clothes and that, there was no way I was going to Edward's house.

I'd done my bit, now I had to go and repair my own relationship. Hopefully it wasn't too late.

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Jasper's pov

I was so pissed of at her as I stormed out of her house.

Why did this keep happening? Every time me and Alice seemed to be settling down another great disaster came along to interfere.

I had half a mind to go round to Edward's and tell him and Bella to just fuck off and deal with their own problems and leave me and Alice in peace.

Was it really too much to ask that I got to spend some time with my girlfriend uninterrupted? Just the two of us, without having to deal with other peoples shit.

I ended up on the same cliff overlooking the beach I had that time I'd dragged Alice from school.

This was obviously my angry place!

I smiled remembering the walk in the rain we'd taken along the beach, the way Alice had looked with her hair plastered flat, her wet clothes clinging to her the moment she'd admitted she wouldn't be able to stay away.

I was pretty lucky she hadn't. I dreaded to think what state my life would be in without Alice and everything she'd done for me.

That's just who Alice was, she always wanted to help she couldn't stand seeing people hurting, and it made her happy. It was like if she could ease someone else's pain she somehow managed to ease her own, she needed to help people not for their sake but for her own.

As I calmed down and thought all this through I groaned loudly, I can't believe I'd shouted at her. This wasn't about Alice putting herself out for Bella, it was about her helping herself and I was so selfish wanting to have her all to myself I hadn't seen that, and I'd shouted at her and stormed out of her house like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

I'd called Edward a spineless pathetic prick but what did that make me?

_An Asshole!_

I chuckled dryly, yep that about summed it up.

I had some grovelling to do.

Starting my car back up I turned and headed for the shops. I hunted out some form of chocolate dessert that didn't need to be cooked and then headed to the florists.

The elderly lady who served me kept smiling at me as she asked me what I wanted.

"What's her favourite flower hun?" she asked me.

I frowned in thought "She likes daisies." I said "And her favourite colours yellow."

She nodded and wandered around pulling out different flowers and adding some leaves and things, large daisies were mixed with yellow roses and lilies and others I couldn't name.

"Do you want a card with them?" she asked with another smile as I admired her work.

"Best do." I gave a half smile "Saves me having to figure out what to say later."

She showed me a small selection of cards and I immediately went for the one with the words 'I'm sorry' scrawled across the front making her smile again.

I paused wondering what to write and simply went with a soppy _'Never forget I'll always love you' _

Was that too much?

Maybe but it was true and I was grovelling here.

"Good luck hun." she called as I paid and left the shop balancing the bouquet in one arm.

Ok phase two, hope to god Alice hasn't moved the spare key so I couldn't get in.

Turns out she hadn't, I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or if she'd just forgotten about it with going to see Charlie.

I wasn't sure what time to expect her back so I headed for the dinning room setting two places at the table putting the flowers in the centre and placing candles around the room.

Yes I was going OTT but I really didn't care. Grovelling remember.

When I was happy with the layout I ordered a Chinese for us and then had nothing to do but wait.

My heart jumped as I heard the front door open.

"Jazz?" Alice's voice sounded a little apprehensive.

I immediately moved into the hall drawn towards her like a magnet. She relaxed smiling at me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered wrapping her in my arms.

She shook her head with a giggle "For what? You're allowed to have an opinion Jasper."

"I shouted at you." I hugged her tighter.

She sighed "You were angry Jazz." she pulled back from my chest to look up at me "We're not going to agree on everything and sometimes we may get angry and shout at each other, but that's normal."

I pressed my lips to her forehead "I wont shout at you again."

"Jasper." I could hear a mix of amusement and annoyance in her voice "Jazz I know you still feel guilty about the way you acted when you received your dads wedding invite."

I winced as that memory rose up accompanied by self loathing.

"But you never hurt me and I know you never will, look at me." she pushed against my chest so she could look at me again "You're not that guy Jazz. Yes you got angry, you're allowed to get angry, but you're not going to scare me away that easily." she stretched up on her tip toes to bring her lips to mine.

Her tongue darted out to run over my bottom lip and I let my own tongue come out to meet hers letting them slowly dance together.

Alice could read me so well. She was right, I hated getting angry around her because I was terrified I'd go too far. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to stop myself next time.

My mouth became more demanding needing reassurance she still loved me, despite my many flaws.

I groaned in annoyance as someone knocked on the door. I had had enough of interruptions!

It was our Chinese and as I led Alice into the dinning room her eyes widened as she took it all in.

"Jazz." she whispered seemingly overwhelmed.

I shrugged "It's only take out cause you know I can't cook."

I moved into the kitchen to plate it up and was a little alarmed when I came back in to find tears running down her face.

"Mini what?" I dropped the plates onto the table quickly moving to take her face between my hands "What's wrong?"

She smiled up at me through her tears "You didn't have to do all this."

I let out a sigh of relief kissing the tip of her nose.

"I wanted to do all this." I told her.

Wrapping her arms around my middle she nuzzled her head into my chest and I pressed a kiss on top of her head.

"Come on the foods getting cold." I whispered.

She pulled back with a giggle "Your incredible culinary skills." she teased.

I shrugged "Hey why would I ever need to cook when I've got you?" I asked.

Her smile got bigger when I said that.

"We got dessert too." I told her once we'd finished and I quickly scooped up her empty plate before she could start cleaning up.

"You made dessert?" she asked with a grin.

"Well I brought dessert, if that counts."

She giggled her eyes dropping to the table "Can we eat it in the lounge?"

"If you want." I shrugged not really bothered "You go get comfy and I'll bring it through."

She turned in her chair so she could sit up on her knees and kiss my cheek "Thanks." she whispered.

I chuckled to myself as I served up the chocolate mousse, it was crazy but in many ways I kind of liked messing up. Well no I didn't like messing up, I didn't like upsetting Alice but I liked making up. I liked how happy it made Alice when I did something nice, of course it would be better if I did something nice without it being an apology. That's something I'd have to work on.

"So how did it go with Bella's dad?" I asked as I joined her on the sofa passing her a bowl and spoon.

She sighed and I looked up to find her looking pensive.

"Mini?"

She looked over at me and smiled shyly "It went ok." she murmured before moving to straddle my lap resting her weight on her knees either side of me "But for now I want to forget about that. About Bella and Edward and all their drama and" she paused for a split second "Everything else."

Completely disregarding the spoon she scooped up some of the mousse on her finger and ran it over my lips before sucking her finger into her mouth.

Have I ever told you I love this girl, because I fucking love this girl!

She giggled as my tongue darted out to lick off the mousse she'd smudged on my lips.

"Tonight it's just you and me. Understood?" she asked.

"I'm sorry what were we talking about?" I didn't give her chance to answer, my hand tangled in her hair pulling her in for a bruising kiss. She met my lips eagerly her hands going to my shoulders as she pulled herself closer to me.

I had to break away with a groan as she started grinding down against my growing erection.

"Shit Alice please stop that." I groaned my head falling back.

Pushing herself back up on her knees she smoothed more mousse over my lips "Sorry." she whispered leaning in to kiss me again.

She pulled away with a giggle "You taste like chocolate."

That made me chuckle, taking some of my own mousse I smoothed it on her neck before leaning in to kiss and lick it off.

"What do you know, so do you." I mumbled nipping her lightly making her jump.

She wriggled down on me again in revenge.

"Seriously Mini, if you don't want me to just fuck you here and now you gotta stop that." I growled warningly.

My girl had some serious moves I could not wait for her to expand on!

She sighed her arms going around my neck pulling herself up so her chin rested on my shoulder.

Obviously not tonight though.

"Do you forgive me?" she whispered.

I frowned "Mini you can tease me all you want just be aware what it does to me."

I felt her shake her head "No, I mean do you forgive me for getting involved, for being a…Doormat."

I winced a little, I'd forgotten I'd called her that.

"I'm sorry I said that." I murmured my arms wrapping around her tightly.

She laughed softly but it held no real humour "Why? You were right I am a doormat, I just let people walk all over me. Always have."

"You stood up to Edward." I pointed out trying to make her feel better.

She nodded and twisted her head to kiss my neck "So do you forgive me?" she asked again.

"Mini there is nothing to forgive." I assured "You were just being you, and I love you."

She giggled and climbed off me taking a spoonful of chocolate mousse and looking up at me through her thick lashes "It's not always a bad thing though is it?"

I frowned and she giggled again sliding to lie down her knees raised up against my side.

"Letting someone get their own way with me." she smiled biting her bottom lip in a very sexy way and suddenly all I could think of was Alice smothered in chocolate mousse.

I turned pushing her knees apart so I could fit between them my lips crashing to hers. I yanked her top up breaking the kiss for a second to rip it over her head, my hands went to her back finding the clasp of her bra and she froze beneath me.

_Slow, slow, slow. _I chanted in my head.

My lips trailed down to her shoulder and I took a deep breath trying to control myself. Getting my own way with her but still within reason.

I spied the bowl on the floor and smiled nipping her shoulder lightly.

I could still have some of her smothered in chocolate mousse and it was probably a better plan than just dry humping her on the sofa, which is what I was very close to doing.

Pulling myself up a little I retrieved the bowl from the floor, Alice's eyes followed my every move.

Taking Alice's lead I started by just smoothing some over her lips moaning softly as she sucked my fingers into her mouth, her tongue swirling around them licking off all the sugary treat. My jeans became painfully tight as I imagined her doing that to another part of my anatomy!

Maybe I'd get lucky tonight, but I doubted it very much and besides this was supposed to be my grovelling apology.

"You're a tease you know that right" I told Alice as she freed my fingers from her between her luscious lips.

"Sorry." her cheeks flushed and her eyes dropped in embarrassment "I don't mean to be."

I chuckled "Come on Mini admit it, you know exactly how wild you drive me."

She giggled like the little minx she was but shook her head stubbornly before contradicting herself by letting her hand slide down to rub me through my jeans.

She looked up at me shyly "Bedroom."

I didn't need to be told twice.

Scooping her up in a fireman's lift over one shoulder I headed for the stairs, the bowl of chocolate mousse still in my other hand.

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**Mmm Jasper covered in chocolate mousse!**

**Sorry having a bit of a daydream there, let me know what you think.**

**About the chapter obviously. **

**Or I suppose you could tell me what you think of the idea of Jasper smothered in chocolate mousse if you liked ; )**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight all recognisable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**I love the summer. Hate the rain though which is what it is currently doing and the reason I'm able to update again xx**

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**Chapter 19: What doesn't matter.**

Alice's pov

Chocolate mousse very quickly became my all time favourite dessert!

On Tuesday night it had been Jasper who had stopped things progressing further once we'd reached my bed, even looking back now I knew I wouldn't have freaked out if it had resulted in sex. Actually I was rather disappointed it hadn't.

I had never really understood why people found food erotic or used it during foreplay, I'd always just assumed it would get messy. It was insane how much Jasper was opening my eyes to new things. New exciting things.

I was pretty sure no one would believe the things I'd done behind closed doors. Me the quiet little bookworm, the local freak. Those labels still applied of course, I still loved school and I hadn't changed enough to suddenly be little miss popular but it didn't matter, Jasper loved me. Me! I still had a hard time coming to terms with that.

"So you still haven't put out yet." Lauren's bitter voice spat as I stood by my locker swapping some books over. I just ignored her.

"I mean it's pretty obvious you haven't seeing as how he's still with you." she carried on unaware of the fact I wasn't listening.

"It's smart really holding out. Keeping him with you for as long as possible. But in the end he'll just get impatient, realise just how big a freak you are and move on to better things."

Taking a deep breath I turned to face her "He's had his chance to have 'better things' Lauren and he still chose me." I said in a steady voice amazing myself by actually answering her back.

Her face scrunched up in a very unattractive scowl and I started to walk away but she grabbed my arm her talons digging into me.

"He knows about James you know."

I felt a shiver run through me at the mention of his name but refused to let it show on my face. That was all over.

"I know he does." I said "I told him."

Lauren smirked "Yeah but he knows the truth."

I frowned in confusion.

_Walk away Alice! _my mind screamed at me but I couldn't, against my better judgement I needed to know what she meant.

"What?" I heard myself ask like it was beyond my control.

Lauren's smirk widened "He knows James fucked you." she said slowly, carefully pronouncing each word.

My eyes widened "But he didn't." I stammered out. Nothing had happened, I mean he'd tried but I'd stopped him.

My panic obviously showed because a look of triumph stole over Lauren's face.

"Oh come on McCarty, you know from experience no one believes you. The whole school thinks you threw yourself at him like some desperate spinster. And so does Jasper." her voice got harsh as she spat the last four words at me before smiling again "So he's really going to get pissed if you keep holding out after willingly letting another guy have you. Enjoy him while you can." she turned and walked away leaving me hyperventilating by my locker.

I'd told Jasper, I'd told him nothing had happened. He believed me.

Didn't he?

As the halls emptied I hurried off to my next class.

Lauren was just winding me up. That was all it was, she was jealous and she was playing on my insecurities. That's all it was.

Unfortunately my insecurities were very easy to play on and now the thought was in my head it refused to go away.

I sighed heavily as Lauren barged past me through the door to Biology, looks like things were getting back to normal.

Luckily Jasper wasn't there to witness it.

I know it's stupid, now that Em knew but in my head there was no point making a big deal out of Lauren being, well Lauren.

She smirked at me as I unconsciously glanced over at her.

_She's just winding you up. Stop letting her!_

Jasper wandered in moving to take his seat next to me and I took a deep breath keeping my eyes on the desk.

"You ok?" his voice was laden with concern.

Looking up at him I hated myself when I wondered if he had believed Lauren.

"Mini, what's happened?" he asked his hands wrapping around my shoulders.

I tried to smile "Nothing I'm alright."

He rolled his eyes not believing me for a second.

"Honestly Jazz, I'm just over thinking." taking a deep breath I managed to relax my face into a more convincing smile.

"Ok, I'll let it go. For now." he murmured softly.

For the whole lesson he kept hold of my hand under the desk as we took notes, his thumb drawing soothing circles now and then.

As we headed for lunch Lauren threw another smirk at me over her shoulder. Jasper's fingers tightened around mine and I could feel his eyes on me.

"I'm not giving up till you tell me." he said quietly as we got in line for lunch "Just so you know."

"She just said something to me earlier and I know I shouldn't let it bother me and I should just ignore her but sometimes it's hard." I said all of that with my eyes forward refusing to look at him.

"What did she say?" he asked softly as we headed outside for some privacy.

"She just said you knew…" I bit my lip guiltily for doubting him "She said something about James."

"Who the fuck is James?" he asked angrily.

Oh right he didn't know his name.

"Erm." I twisted my hands nervously "James is the guy they used to trick me."

I hoped he'd get it from that. He did, his face tightened in anger.

"What did she say?" he asked in a tight voice raising an eyebrow at me when I didn't say anything "Not letting it go until you tell me remember."

"Well you'll have a long wait because it doesn't matter and I don't want to get into it now and blow the whole thing out of proportion." I stated stubbornly.

Jasper huffed in annoyance but I really didn't want to admit out loud that I'd doubted him. He was bound to get upset and angry, and then he'd get angry at Lauren and the whole thing would just blow up. And all because I was being stupid. Jasper believed me, he would have left me by now if he didn't.

Needless to say the rest of lunch wasn't fun.

In trigonometry I got the shock of my life as Lauren took the empty seat beside mine.

"Hi Alice." she smiled happily and my stomach began to churn with dread.

I tried to ignore her as Mrs. Davies explained what we'd be doing today and set us some exercises. As I looked down at the desk to start work I noticed Lauren had spent her time colouring in a sheet of A4 with the words _'Alice loves James'._

My eyes went to my notepad as I started work.

_Just ignore her, she's winding you up, James graduated, you're never going to see him again, it's all over, and most importantly Jasper believes you, he loves you._

I kept repeating that over and over in my head like a mantra.

"You know he's coming home for summer, that will be fun huh." Lauren started talking in a friendly voice "He can't wait to see you again, oh no wait sorry he never wants to see you again, sorry I get confused sometimes."

Where the hell was she going with this? I knew for a fact his parents had moved out of town so there's no way he'd come back here. And why should I care if he never wanted to see me again I was glad.

_Stop listening to her!_

"You know I can't believe after all that you still trust Jasper, I mean look at him Alice. Girls like you don't get guys like James and Jasper. And if James was only after one thing…" she trailed off before she finished but the implication was there.

NO!

Jasper was not like that. Lauren had no idea. After everything that we'd been through I was not going to think that of him. I wasn't!

I went back to my work ignoring her.

"Oh look at you pretending not to understand." she laughed "Poor little sweet and innocent Alice, doesn't have a clue how to make a man happy. You even managed to ruin your brothers life!"

Tears sprang to my eyes and I immediately checked the clock ten more minutes, I could ignore her for ten more minutes.

Trigonometry, focus on your work. I read out each question slowly in my head trying to focus solely on that as Lauren continued speaking beside me. I don't know what she was saying, I wasn't listening.

Finally the bell rang and I raced out of the classroom. I didn't really want to have to explain everything to Jasper but I knew he'd be expecting me too, I knew he wouldn't let it go.

I really didn't want to have to go through all that again, I didn't want to dredge up the past. It would just upset us both.

_Well you could always distract him!_

As soon as I thought that I felt ill, I had been a little disappointed things hadn't progressed on Tuesday night but there was no way in hell my first time was going to be as a way to distract Jasper from asking about James, but if he pushed me too far I knew I'd do whatever I could to protect myself.

I just couldn't deal with all this.

Fucking Lauren! Why couldn't she just let it go?

His face creased with worry as I reached his car and I knew I probably looked like shit. I slid into the passenger seat without a word.

* * *

Jasper's pov

As I pulled up onto Alice's drive she was still quiet. She hadn't spoken a word to me the whole drive home. Her eyes were dull with pain, worse than I'd seen at lunch.

"Mini I'm not an idiot, I know something happened after lunch." I looked over at her seeing as how she was making no move to leave the car. "What's wrong?" I asked a little desperately when she didn't respond "Have I done something?"

She shook her head firmly "No it's not you." she began chewing her lip her hands twisting in her lap "Jazz do you mind if I have a little time alone?" she asked in a soft voice still not looking at me.

My hands gripped my steering wheel tightly to stop myself reaching across and pulling her against me forcing her to tell me what the fuck was wrong.

I couldn't deal with her like this. I didn't know exactly what was bothering her so I didn't know how to help without risking saying the wrong thing.

_You don't know what's bothering her? It's pretty fucking obvious Whitlock._

James.

The name flashed in my head like a neon sign, my hands tightened more turning my knuckles white, I knew the bastards name.

Not that it did all that much good. I mean there were hundreds of James's out there and it didn't tell me what was bothering Alice. He hadn't treated her right, but that's all I really knew and Alice was never going to tell me more.

"Ok." I gave in to her request "Do you want me to come back later or not?" I hoped she'd want me to come back but I wasn't going to force her if she needed time to herself.

She nodded quickly "Yeah I just need an hour or two." she finally glanced up at me slightly and I tried to smile reassuringly.

"That's ok Mini." I leant over the car to peck her on the cheek "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

She tried to smile but it was rather forced and without another word she hopped out the car and headed indoors.

I sat in the car in her drive for a few minutes wondering what to do. I mean I couldn't just sit here for two hours.

My mum would be at work so home seemed the most logical option available but I couldn't get rid of that little voice demanding to know more about this James character.

I could go ask Lauren but it's doubtful she'd be honest with me and the temptation to smack her silly for whatever she'd said to Alice might overwhelm me, and I didn't hit girls.

Edward, he'd probably been in on the whole thing and he was rather desperate for me to forgive him, it would be pretty easy to manipulate him to tell me what I wanted.

Starting my car I headed for his house.

"Jay." he seemed surprised to see me "Erm you wanna come in?"

I tried not to roll my eyes.

No I just felt like coming over to stand on your doorstep!

"Yeah thanks. I wanted to ask you something actually."

He seemed apprehensive as he lead me inside.

"Bella's not here?" I asked suddenly realising she was meant to be living with Edward.

"No, she went to try and talk to her dad." he answered.

I nodded that was good.

"What did you want?" he asked as we sat down.

I paused for a second before turning to face him "I want to know about James."

He blinked "Erm why?" he asked slowly.

"Because Lauren said something about him to Alice which has really upset her and she wont tell me about it. So I want you to tell me."

He shuffled uncomfortably.

"Look Ed I know you know. You were part of it and I'm not gonna get mad at you." well I couldn't actually promise that but hey "It happened, and I'm sure you feel guilty about it. A few weeks ago you said you wanted a way to make up for that, well this is a good place to start." and there's the manipulation.

Skilfully played Whitlock.

He sighed heavily.

"It was Lauren's idea originally, most of them were to be honest, the rest of us would just expand on them. Lauren thought secret admirer, you know letters and shit invite her out somewhere then no one would show. It was Mike who suggested using an actual person."

I clenched my jaw tightly. Christ if that pissed me off this was going to be a very unpleasant experience.

"James was his brother's friend and he was popular with the girls, someone she wouldn't say no to if he showed interest."

I nodded for him to continue when he paused. My jaw was clamped so tight I couldn't speak.

"They started off slowly, he came to her defence when Mike got up in her face and we built on it from there."

"How old?" was all I managed to growl out.

"Alice was a sophomore, James was a senior."

I took a deep breath letting it out slowly "Why did he agree to it?" I asked amazed my voice was level.

Edward shrugged "Something to do. I don't know, he thought it would be a laugh."

"Oh yeah hilarious." I snapped before taking another calming breath "Is that all you saw her as? Entertainment?"

"I suppose so." Edward mumbled "Nothing happened between them. I mean they'd have kissed, the idea just kind of grew the longer it went on, James was the one who decided to push it as far as he could. He was a bit full of himself, he didn't think she'd say no."

I started to feel sick "So his plan was to get her to fall for him, trust him enough to give him her virginity. Then tell her it was all a joke?"

"Pretty much yeah." Edward admitted in a small voice.

I swallowed down the bile that burned up my throat and tried to keep my calm. I'd told Edward I wouldn't get mad and Edward was holding up his end of the bargin.

"Look we never intended it to go that far but, it just snowballed. Besides it's not like he actually did anything to her." he defended.

My hands balled into fists and it took everything I had not to punch him in the face.

"Didn't do anything to her!" I growled incredulously "Do you have any idea how much damage your fucking bullying alone did to her?"

"You wanted to know." he snapped.

I took another deep breath, it was like they didn't see her as a human, her feelings didn't matter as long as they had some fun for a few days.

"What would Lauren have said to her?"

"You really want to know more?"

I clenched my jaw again and nodded.

"Ok." Edward shook his head "You asked for it. Alice obviously stopped James before anything serious happened but that didn't stop him from telling everyone he had… you know fucked her. No one believed Alice when she denied it. I mean we knew but…"

"It was more fun to fucking break her down a bit more." I shook my head "You're right I don't want to hear anymore."

"When James graduated people moved on, forgot about it."

"She didn't." I growled.

I couldn't handle this anymore and I had to wonder how the hell Alice had survived it.

Standing suddenly I moved to the door "I need to get back." was all I muttered to Edward before I left.

I am in no ways perfect. I'll admit to making fun of people at times, but never on this scale. What they had done, planned on doing, it was beyond cruel.

I used the spare key to get in when I got back to Alice's.

"Alice." I called desperately. I needed to hold her, I needed to let her know she was safe, I loved her and I was never going to let anyone hurt her again.

She appeared from the lounge, there was no sign she'd been crying but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Stepping towards her I pulled her to me my arms locked around her protectively.

"I love you so much." I murmured pressing a kiss to her hair.

Looking down at her I saw thousands of questions dancing behind her eyes.

"I went to see Edward." I admitted feeling her tense "I needed to know what had happened."

"Why?" she moaned hiding her face in my chest.

"Because it was obviously upsetting you and I didn't know how to help."

I felt her shrug "I guess I just wasn't expecting her to bring it up, it threw me is all."

"Alice stop downplaying it, I've told you before you're allowed to get upset over this."

She squeezed me tight for a few seconds "Love you Jazz."

"I love you too." I murmured knowing from her tone of voice she was still stubbornly refusing to tell me what had happened today.

Still I had time and right now I just wanted her to know I was there.

It suddenly felt like everything was once again spiralling beyond my control.

Whatever Lauren had said to Alice it was affecting her deeper than she wanted to admit. I knew her better now and I could see how much she was hurting, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

The next morning I took her a glass of juice upstairs to find her still in bed.

"Hey Mini, time for school."

"I don't feel well." she mumbled pulling the duvet up over her head.

Sighing heavily I placed the glass on the side and moved to sit on the bed gently peeling the duvet back down.

"Well do you want me to call my mum? Or Carlisle?" I asked knowing full well she was faking it.

"No." came the muffled reply and I smiled softly.

"But you said you don't feel well, maybe they can help." I frowned as I met resistance in my quest to get the duvet off her. She was clinging onto it for dear life. "Mini come on, I know you're faking here. I've done it enough times myself."

She pulled the duvet down just enough to scowl at me "I don't feel well." she insisted pouting adorably.

Knowing there was no point arguing with her I let it go "Ok, you want me to stay here and take care of you?"

She shook her head 'no' before puling the duvet back up so only her spiky hair showed.

"Alright." I sighed "I'll see you later." I leant over tugging the duvet so I could uncover some part of her to kiss.

Any other time I would have insisted on staying with her but I could take this opportunity to talk to Lauren. Well I say talk to Lauren I meant warn her to back off or else!

It felt so weird driving to school alone but it wasn't until I got to Biology that I actually realised this was the first time I'd ever been at school without Alice.

I sat there half listening to Mr. Banner and scribbling doodles over my notepad.

I followed Lauren to the cafeteria when the bell rang, she made her way over to Mike's table without getting any lunch like normal.

"Lauren." my voice was harsher than I'd intended.

She looked up at me innocently.

"This is a private party Whitlock." Mike spoke up but I ignored him my eyes still burning into Lauren's.

"If you ever so much as look at Alice again you'll regret it." I growled out.

She rolled her eyes and smirked at me "Oh really. What're you going to do?"

I faltered. What was I going to do? Slap her seemed like a good idea but you didn't hit girls. No matter how tempting it was.

"I mean it Lauren." I said.

"Honestly, she can't take a joke." Lauren laughed turning her back on me.

"You've had your warning Lauren." I said before turning to leave.

That hadn't gone quite to plan.

"The funny thing is."

I ground my teeth together as Mike spoke up signalling they were following me.

"You know it's not true but it still bothers you."

I increased my pace heading for my car.

"Come on Jay lighten up, and don't have a go at Lauren. After all it's not her fault your girlfriend willingly spreads her legs for anyone but you."

I froze, three things stood out very clearly in my mind.

1. Mike had just insulted Alice

2. We had arrived in the car park where there were no teachers.

3. Mike I was allowed to hit!

My hand balled into a fist and I swung around throwing my whole body into that punch, which contacted with his face just below his eye.

I quickly followed that up with a swift knee in his gut successfully winding him. Hauling him up by his collar I threw my fist into his face again and then let go so he collapsed onto the ground .

"I don't give a fuck whether it's true or not." I snarled at him "You ever say shit like that again and I will not fucking stop. Do you understand?"

My foot swung forward to kick him for added emphasis and I whirled away a low growling echoed from my chest as I tried to clam the fuck down. Getting in my car the wheels spun as I revved the engine in my rush to get away.

The adrenalin pumping around my system stopped me feeling pain but I knew my hand would be aching later tonight.

Arriving back at Alice's I headed upstairs to find her still in bed. Her breathing was soft and even, she was sound asleep.

Kneeling down beside her I ran my fingers through her hair noticing the tear tracks that stained her cheeks.

The anger drained out of me as I watched her sleep and, as expected, a dull ache set in across the knuckles of my right hand. Flexing my fingers I winced as the pain lanced out. I should really put some ice on it.

Alice sighed happily snuggling down into the bed. I started a little as I felt her warm fingers brush over mine.

"Jasper." she mumbled in her sleep and I let her intertwine our fingers.

Right so I'll be getting ice later then.

Settling myself more comfortably on the floor I thought back over everything. I was going to be in such deep shit at school tomorrow.

All bullies were cowards and I had no doubt Mike would rat me out the first chance he got. Not to mention I'd just ditched halfway through the day. Yep I was defiantly fucked!

I looked back at Alice and shook my head. At least it was worth it, she was worth it.

Shifting back onto my knees I kissed her cheeks softly, pulling her back to consciousness with gentle pecks.

She blinked up at me and smiled "Hey you." she said softly.

Lifting our joined hands I kissed her knuckles "Hey sleepy head."

Glancing around the room a little disorientated she frowned "Is it after three already?"

"No." I admitted "I kinda came home early." I cringed as she gave me a stern look.

"You'll get in trouble." she said sitting up.

"Well I think I'll probably be in more trouble for beating seven shades of shit out of Mike Newton but I suppose ditching afternoon classes wont do me any favours."

Her face was almost comical as it dropped in shock. "What?"

I shook my head "Look it doesn't matter Mini."

Pouting she dropped my hand folding her arms across her chest in a huff "Why would you do that?" she asked me.

"Because he deserved it." I answered honestly "He implied something about you that wasn't nice."

That has to be the least offensive way of telling her he'd called her a whore.

"How many times do I have to tell you to just ignore them." she groaned angrily.

"Like you ignored Lauren?" I shot back "Or was there another reason you're hiding up here?"

Hurt flashed in her eyes.

"He had it coming Alice, and I'll take whatever punishment they throw at me if it means he lays off you."

She sighed in defeat smiling a little as she leant over to kiss me.

"My knight in shining armour." she giggled her fingers tangling in my hair as I moved up onto the bed over her "You really should go back to school."

I let out a pathetic little moan burying my head in her shoulder "My hand hurts." I whined.

"Well it's your own fault." she said "That's what happens when you punch people."

Talk about sympathy!

"I did it for you."

That worked. Gently she took my aching hand between hers dropping feather light kisses along my bruised knuckles.

She sighed heavily "What am I going to do with you?"

I sat up a little to grin at her "I can think of a few things!"

I hissed in pain as her fingers tightened slightly around my injured hand.

"Don't even think about it mister." she warned "I am still upset with you for fighting with him."

I flopped onto my back with a huff.

"He started it." I whined.

"Jasper how old are you?" Alice grumbled.

She let go of my hand and made to climb off the bed but my arms wrapped around her stopping her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"You need ice on that hand before it swells any more." she informed me wriggling out of my grip.

"Thanks." I murmured as she returned with an ice pack wrapped in a towel and gentle pressed it against my hand.

She shook her head "Like you said you did do it for me."

Using my free hand I lifter her chin to make her look at me.

"I'd do anything for you." I told her honestly.

I soft smile spread across her face and I leant forward to kiss her gently. She sighed happily against my lips and I just spent a few minutes basking in this feeling of sheer bliss.

"Ok." she whispered as I pulled away "You're forgiven."

I tried not to smirk. Oh the power of a kiss!

* * *

**I've missed Lauren in a strange twisted way I'm glad she's back lol. I do enjoy making her so easy to hate.**

**As for Mike, well we all knew Jasper had a temper, that's what happens when it blows!**

**This chapter got away from me a little, it's not my best, too be honest it was just meant as a bit of a filler but never mind too late to worry about it now. **

**Let me know what you think. xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: ****My name is not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I don't own Twilight.**

**Oh god sorry for the wait this chapter took forever, I just could not get it to work. Hope you all like. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 20: I belong to you**

Jasper's pov

As I'd expected Mike had ratted me out the first chance he got and I ended up with a three day suspension from school for fighting. To say my mum wasn't impressed would be an understatement.

My phone rang as I lay in bed next to Alice.

"Hello?"

I quickly pulled it away from my ear. Both of us winced as my mothers furious tones echoed from the phone.

"Jasper Anthony Whitlock you get yourself home this second!" she screeched.

That was all I got before she hung up.

"Guess the principle phoned her." I commented lightly pushing myself off the bed.

Alice sat up with a sigh "You should probably take your stuff, I doubt she's going to let you come back over for a while." she tried to hide the sadness from her voice.

I hated Mike so much in that moment he was lucky I couldn't get to him.

Alice helped me pack my stuff and smiled sadly as I made my way to the front door, I knew I shouldn't keep my mum waiting but the sight of Alice looking so sad nearly killed me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled "I guess I fucked up huh?"

She shrugged trying to smile as her arms wrapped around me in a hug. "Love you." she whispered kissing me softly.

The term 'raging volcano' sprung to mind when I saw my mum. She almost had steam coming out of her ears.

"Your principle phoned." she growled out as I stood in the lounge trying to look remorseful.

She ranted for nearly half an hour about responsibility and expectable behaviour and how I'd let her down and all the other bs pulled straight from the _'how to discipline your teenager'_ self help book.

I ended up grounded for a week, she even took my phone off me, which meant I'd only been able to see Alice in school for two days and since I'd also ended up with lunch time detention I only got to see her in Biology.

That was a very hard week.

I was lucky in many ways that my mum hadn't grounded me for longer, she had been pretty pissed off.

When she'd told me internally I'd been huffing and flouncing like a teenager but externally I'd simply excepted it, had I not she'd have probably increased it to two or three weeks and that would have been unbearable.

It was all worth it when I did get back to school to see Mike sporting a very fetching black eye. Bastard knew now not to fuck with me!

Edward sat next to me in English again. I still wasn't sure how I felt about him. He'd been a prize A dick for most of his life but in many ways so had I back in Texas, it had taken a pretty big jolt to get me to change my ways. Maybe Bella's pregnancy was the jolt Edward had needed.

"She was ok you know." he said quietly.

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

"Alice, when you were suspended they left her alone." he kept his eyes forward.

I nodded slowly "Good."

"I just thought you'd be worried, and I know she'd have told you it was ok whether it was or not so…"

I smiled slightly as he trailed off with a shrug.

"Thanks Ed."

He nodded once and we got on with our work.

Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was trying to change for the better.

"So how are you?" I asked after a while.

He looked up in surprise as I made conversation but answered.

"Ok, my mum and dad are a bit upset that I'm making them grandparents so soon, but they're also kind of relieved I'm taking responsibility for my actions. Bella's still staying at mine, she talked to her dad and things are getting back on track but it's going to take time I guess."

"That's good."

This whole conversation took place with both of us looking straight ahead, and although it felt nice to clear the air a little I was still glad when the lesson ended and we headed our separate ways.

It was a relief to hear they had backed off again but as I arrived at Biology in time to see Lauren shoot a glare at Alice I knew it wouldn't be for long.

Sitting down with a heavy sigh I seriously wished Alice would just stand up for herself and give Lauren a good slap, part of me knew she never would. She'd conditioned herself to just deflect the taunts and jibes maliciously flung at her. The main reason she'd reacted so badly when they'd brought up James was because she'd been scared of my reaction in case I thought less of her.

On a positive note it was nearly summer break and it would be pretty easy to avoid Mike and the others over the summer. The downside to that was Emmett would be home.

Eight more nights sleeping next to Alice before a ten week separation.

Ten weeks without being able to sleep with her in my arms, I dreaded to think how I'd survive that.

Not that I begrudged her time with Emmett, it was just going to be very hard not seeing her everyday.

We had both agreed telling Emmett would do more harm than good at this moment in time. It would just mean any time we did spend together would be chaperoned by an extremely overprotective big brother who would probably break my fingers if I even tried to hold her hand in his presence.

We'd still be able to spend time together at my house when mum was working or with Carlisle so it wasn't all bad.

That annoying little voice at the back of my head, I believe is called a conscience, kept telling me this was a bad idea.

_Just tell Emmett, get it over with and stop being such a fucking coward!_

But I couldn't, I couldn't risk it. What if he took it badly? What if he decided we couldn't be trusted and stopped staying the week in Seattle?

The problem was me and Alice had developed a routine and I didn't want to ruin that.

This way everyone was happy.

Or at least that's what I kept telling myself.

We were actually pretty lucky, Emmett could have been home earlier but had decided to stay in Seattle until Alice had finished.

"You'll still be able to come over." Alice assured me.

"Yeah but it wont be like this." I was in emo mode again, I pulled her back against my chest as we sat on the sofa watching TV.

"I know." Alice sighed sadly "But he'll go out with Rose and other friends, and like you said, your mum wont be home all the time so we can spend time at your house." she carried on trying to pull me out of my depressed funk "And it's going to get worse when we go to college, we may not see each other for weeks. Ow!" she winced in pain as my arms instinctively tightened crushing her against me.

"Jazz." she tried to wriggle away "Jazz that really hurts." my arms immediately loosened so I wasn't crushing her but stayed wrapped around her.

"What?" was all I could think of to say.

"Well we may not end up at the same college. May not even end up in the same State. If you're serious about studying philosophy what's the best school for that?"

I shook my head, I hadn't thought about any of this, I'd never considered being separated from her for any significant length of time.

"I'll go wherever you wanna go." I said.

She sighed "Jasper you've been interested in philosophy since before you met me. It's what you want to do."

"I wanna be with you." I insisted.

"You will be, I have no intention of breaking up with you." she smiled at me.

"So I'll go to whatever college you want."

"You are so stubborn sometimes." she huffed making me chuckle.

"You can talk." I joked placing a wet kiss on her cheek "What did you want to do at college anyway?" I asked realising I had no idea what Alice's plans were.

She shrugged "Haven't decided yet. I was just pointing out we may end up at opposite ends of the country."

I shook my head burying my face in her hair "You're not getting rid of me that easily." I muttered.

"It's not about getting rid of you Jazz, it's about what's best for us as individuals as well as a couple. I mean think about it neither of us has any real friends. All we have is each other, and as much as I love you and I know you love me, and as much as I love spending all my time with you we need to have our own lives as well and if we go to separate colleges we can have that, as well as still having each other."

What she was saying actually made a lot of sense but that was overridden in my head by my almost desperate need to be with her.

She snuggled back down against me "But that's not something we have to worry about just yet. We still have a year and a week of high school left. We'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out."

I took a deep steadying breath as something suddenly clicked in my head hitting me with all the subtlety of a express train.

I had known for over a month I was in love with Alice, but it was only now I thought about not being able to see her, the possibility of her being hundreds of miles away, that I finally realised in six short months this girl had become the single most important thing in my life.

Since my mum had started dating Carlisle she had someone to care for and look out for her, she had her own life to live. She didn't need me the way she had after my dad had left her.

Alice was now my entire world. The thought of letting her go terrified me, yet at the same time if that's what she wanted how could I refuse her?

I had turned into the sad pathetic loser me and my dad used to laugh at.

The sad little puppy who would follow his girl to the ends of the earth with no questions, doing literally whatever she wanted.

A small part of me fought against it, the part that had fucked then ducked back in Texas. Get what you want from a girl then move on, never get tied down. Keep your options open.

In six short months my options had melted away until Alice was all that mattered. Making her happy was my purpose in life.

My god she was right! I was no longer an individual I was hers, her Jazz.

Somewhere along the way I'd completely lost myself to her and I knew she was right, as much as it scared me, at some point we would have to try and find ourselves again. Who we were outside Jazz and Mini.

I looked down to see her sparkling green eyes on me, her lips set into her special smile she reserved only for me and I felt my own lips shift to mirror hers.

She slowly pulled herself up, her body rubbing against mine thanks to my arms still keeping her pinned to me, and brought her lips to mine. I responded slowly, keeping it gentle trying not to rush this moment.

Alice's hands came up to tangle in my hair and I sat us up so she was sitting in my lap her legs wrapped around my waist and things began to heat up.

Heh, I'd find myself tomorrow! Right now I was more than willing to be all hers.

The next few days progressed in a similar manor, I tried not to think about what Alice had said about college. After all she was right we still had a year before that. The summer was my main concern.

We came up with several plans, most of which involved her coming to my house, there was even the possibility she could stay over but that would, of course, depend on Emmett.

With no homework to worry about our evenings followed a pretty set pattern. Get in, make dinner, eat, head up to her bed.

I could not get enough of her, it was like I needed to memorise every inch to keep me going over the summer and each night I somehow found the strength to stop myself pushing for more.

I sat up panting ignoring my every urge to just take her now as she lay beneath me, her cheeks flushed her bra covered chest rising and falling quickly as she tried to regain her breath.

Her hands came up to run down my chest and she let out a soft mewling sound of want.

"Alice." I moaned closing my eyes to try and gain some coherent thought "You're not the only one with limits." I warned "If we keep going I wont stop."

She let out another mewl wriggling down the bed to better reach me.

There was just something about that sound that went straight to my dick, and she fucking knew it. She was driving me very slowly insane.

"Jasper." she whined.

Knowing I had to do something before I seriously lost my head I used my fingers on her again frowning at the little flash of disappointment I saw in her eyes before she gave in to the pleasure I was producing.

I wasn't sure what to make of that, as Alice fell asleep I slipped out of bed to take a long, very cold, shower thinking it over.

I couldn't help wondering if Alice did want us to have sex, I mean that's the general vibe I'd been getting the last few times we'd been in bed, of course that could just be wishful thinking on my part. Or it could just be in response to being separated over summer. She hadn't said anything to me so was it just lust being fuelled by our activities but something she'd regret later.

The main things I had to worry about, was she trying to force herself into something she wasn't ready for again? And how long could I hold out when what I wanted seemed to be so in tandem with her thoughts?

* * *

Alice's pov

I wasn't sure what to do, the last time I'd asked Jasper to make love to me I'd ended up having a panic attack. I couldn't blame him for being cautious.

But the longer he resisted the more I started second guessing myself.

I kept thinking I was ready for more, but would I freak out if we tried? Was it just because I was scared of him leaving me over the summer and wanted to give him a reason to stay? Was I even scared about that? Was it too soon?

I hated thinking of it as a time frame.

_It's only been six months since you got together. It's not even been two months since you started getting physical._

What the fuck did any of that matter?

I knew how I felt, how long it had been was irrelevant. Would an extra couple of months really make much difference?

I wouldn't deny that if I wasn't with Jasper I would not be considering this, but that was kind of the point as well. I was with Jasper, I was in love with Jasper. I had known from the moment I admitted that I wanted him to be my first, when I was ready. And I was ready.

I had decided that not saying anything to Jasper may be the best course of action, for now at least, I just didn't want to try and plan it again. It would happen naturally in time.

Besides I had always insisted I wanted our relationship to be about more than sex and trying to force it wouldn't be a good idea. I knew I was ready but that didn't mean it had to happen right this second.

It just meant when things did progress naturally I wouldn't panic. Hopefully.

I'll admit it was disappointing when Jasper pulled back sometimes, but I loved how considerate he was, and this was also something he needed to be ready for.

Him feeling he had pressured me could be just as damaging to our relationship as me not being ready so I tried not to dwell on it.

There were other things to think about.

I always hated the last weeks of school before a holiday, they just felt so pointless. We were given a mass of lectures about how important our senior year was going to be and how we should spend our summers looking for ways to pad our college résumés.

That all made me panic because I still had no clue what I intended to do in college so spent one evening going over a list of courses.

Jasper was a bit unhappy we weren't sticking to our usual evening activities but helped me non the less.

"Well what classes do you enjoy?" he asked flicking half heartedly through some brochure I'd picked up.

"Biology." I answered automatically then felt my cheeks grow warm when he asked why. "Cause you're in that class." I answered honestly.

He chuckled softly "Ok, but seeing as how I wont be in that class if you take it at college, what other lessons do you like?"

I thought long and hard about that "I don't know." I admitted. I liked all my classes really.

Jasper was so certain of what he wanted to study I just felt silly having no idea.

"Why do you want to study philosophy?" I asked.

"'Character is the result of a system of stereotyped principals.'" he said making me frown.

"What?"

"It was gratified on one of the walls at my old school, it was a quote from David Hume. I started researching some of his work and it just kind of grew from that I guess." he shrugged.

I smiled he had so many hidden depths, I thrilled with the knowledge I was one of the few people able to discover them.

"Well seeing as how I have yet to find my burning bush to show me the way." I sighed looking back at the course listing and pushed it away in frustration. This wasn't helping!

"Look at it from another angle." Jasper suggested coming to stand behind my chair "What do you enjoy doing outside of school."

I grinned up at him "I don't think they do courses in that." I said running a hand over the front of his jeans.

"You'd ace it if they did." he growled giving my confidence a nice little boost.

He sighed heavily as I returned my attention to the various pieces of paper spread across the table.

"You like helping people." he said after a while "You empathise well, you're caring and giving, so why not something like social care or nursing or something." he suggested.

I looked up at him "That's not a bad thought."

"You don't have to sound so surprised, I do have good ideas occasionally."

He let out a frustrated sigh as I pursued the course listings again.

"Come on Mini, you said yourself we have time to think about this. You got the whole summer." he whined.

"Someone's being impatient." I sang deliberately ignoring him.

"If I have another good idea do I get a reward?" he asked.

Turning to him I saw the smirk on his face, I really did have summer to think this through.

"Maybe." I said slowly.

"Well you could talk to my mum about volunteering at the hospital over the summer, pad your résumé and see if it's something you enjoy." he beamed happily and I couldn't stop laughing at the pleased look on his face.

"Wow two good ideas in as many minutes, do you need to lie down?" I teased.

"Only if you lie with me." he whispered huskily in my ear making me shiver in delight.

I gave in and wrapped my arms around his neck so he could carry me upstairs.

* * *

**This ended up being another bit of a filler but it really wasn't working the way I wanted it too. Things will pick up again in the next chapter. As long as I can get that to work. xx**


	21. Chapter 21

****

Disclaimer:

**I do not own Twilight all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Thanks for all the support in the reviews I love you guys. I have had a very productive weekend and I am getting back on track with where this story is heading so without further ado, the next chapter. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Jealousy and Guilt.**

Jasper's pov

My breathing came in sharp pants as I collapsed into the house**.**

Fuck I was out of shape!

I had started my morning runs again but soon found out that abandoning the exercise for two months in favour of spending longer in bed with Alice meant I was having a hard time completing the five miles I used to find easy.

Although it was a good way to work off my sexual frustration, especially when followed by a cold shower.

"Morning honey you want breakfast" my mum called seemingly unaware my lungs were giving up on me.

"Sure, just gonna take a shower." I gasped out.

My heart rate calmed under the cold spray and by the time I joined my mum in the kitchen I was breathing normally again.

"So do you have many plans for the summer?" she asked me.

"Not really." I sighed, I had always thought I would go see my dad for a week but after his wedding, well he still hadn't tried to contact me, so that was no longer an option. "What about you?" I asked.

She shrugged "Well I have to work mostly, but Carlisle invited me for a weekend away."

"Weekend away huh? Guess it's getting serious." I grinned as her cheeks flushed pink.

"Yeah maybe it is."

"I'm glad." I told her honestly.

"You could come with us." she offered.

I tried not to shudder at the idea "Er thanks but romantic weekends away may be spoilt if you emo teenage son tags along!"

She chuckled "That and you'd rather enjoy being at home alone."

I shrugged innocently and decided it best not to comment.

It was four days before I got to see Alice again, she invited me round Wednesday night for dinner followed by a movie.

I arrived at five and was greeted by a very cheerful Emmett.

"Hey Jasper, how's it going?"

Well I'm kind of sad I can't share a bed with your sister for ten weeks and will probably want to fuck her brains out the second I see her but other than that I'm dandy!

"I'm fine." I said.

His face suddenly became more serious "How are things at school?"

I smiled reassuringly, knowing what he was asking "Ok." I sighed "They still kind of bother her now and then, mainly Lauren."

He nodded becoming thoughtful for a moment before he smiled "Alice mentioned you, er, beat up Mike."

The sparkle in his eye made me chuckle "Yeah, he didn't seem to be getting the message so yeah."

He shook his head with a laugh clapping me on the back "Thanks. I think I've said it before but I really appreciate you looking out for her."

Guilt clawed at my stomach, it's not like it was a completely selfless act. I tried to smile again and headed into the house.

_This it what happens when you keep secrets._

I said a quick hello to Rosalie who was sprawled on the sofa watching some girly soap opera and headed into the kitchen.

I had been right. The second I saw Alice dancing around the kitchen I had to take a deep breath and tried to keep the breakfast bar between us so I didn't do something stupid.

Hmm, that skirt would defiantly allow easy access.

No, bad Jasper! Bad!

"Hey Mini." I called.

She turned to beam at me and that was my undoing. Before I knew it my lips were glued to hers pressing her back against the counter. She whimpered her hands tangling in my hair trying to pull me closer.

I'd forgotten how good she tasted, my tongue was desperate as it reacquainted itself with her mouth.

She managed to break away but my lips just trailed down her neck.

"Jasper." she whispered, half-heartedly trying to push me back.

"Ok, ok." I groaned resting my forehead against hers "Hi." I chuckled.

She giggled her fingers ran through my hair undoing the damage they'd caused "Hi yourself."

"What's for dinner?" I asked taking a seat so I could continue watching her.

"Chicken stir fry. You wanna help?"

I raised an eyebrow at her but she just shrugged "You gotta start somewhere. Here." she set up a chopping board in front of me with vegetables and a knife "Just cut them into strips like this." she showed me.

"Remember what happened last time you gave me a sharp knife?" I asked with a smile.

"Well pay more attention this time." she turned to grin at me "I've become rather fond of those fingers!"

I turned my attention to cutting up the veg, desperately trying not to think about that comment.

Dinner went smoothly enough, Emmett discussed plans for the holidays and invited me to join them for several trips out.

"If you want you can join us at the beach this Saturday, then we're going camping for Ali's birthday." he grinned over at his sister who was vibrating in her chair in excitement.

Her birthday was late August and I was panicking a bit wondering what to get her. But camping sounded fun.

"It's her birthday so if she wants you to come you can."

I tried not to look to eager "Sounds like fun, I'd have to check I've got nothing planned."

I wondered if me and Alice would get to share a tent. Doubtful.

"Other things depend on when Alice is going to be at the hospital as well."

"You're volunteering there then?" I asked her.

She nodded "Yeah."

"Me too." I rolled my eyes "Part of my punishment for fighting with Mike."

Yes I'm a sneaky bastard, but this really was a good opportunity for Alice.

"Oh really." she gave me a knowing look and I tried to act innocent.

After dinner we watched a movie and I was surprised when Alice came to sit next to me tucking her legs under her and leaning against me. It was perfectly innocent but I was still surprised Emmett didn't say anything. Alice had told me how much he'd overreacted when she'd mentioned going on a date.

For some reason he didn't see me as a threat. In Emmett's mind we'd been friends for six months and it hadn't progressed past that. I suppose he trusted Alice to tell him if it had.

The guilt clawed at me again.

We watched Zombieland and even though it was pantomime horror it still bothered Alice, either that or she just wanted an excuse to cuddle me.

I was reminded of the time we'd watched Saw, which got me thinking about our first kiss, which progressed to thoughts of other firsts.

Shifting subtly I tried to hide my hard on but from the giggle Alice let forth she at least had noticed.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked with a grin.

"I was just remembering that time I made you watch Saw and in punishment you forced me to watch Marley and Me."

The grin on her face let me know she'd got the hidden message behind my words.

Thanks to the lights being out and the way she was positioned next to me my hand got the opportunity to take a little exploration under her shirt.

Lace bra. Nice!

"What about you?" I asked.

She gave me a cheeky grin "I'm actually having the worst craving for chocolate mousse!"

I tried not to moan out loud. The memories that rose courtesy of that comment did nothing to help the problem in my pants.

"Good idea Alice." Emmett spoke up "I could sure go for dessert right now."

Me and Alice avoided eye contact trying hard not to laugh.

"I'll see what we've got in." Alice hopped up and headed for the kitchen. I would have followed but didn't want to cause suspicion.

She returned with four bowls of strawberry ice-cream and proceeded to drive me insane by slowly licking her spoon clean with every mouthful.

Fucking tease!

I couldn't keep my eyes off her and when a small drop dripped onto her chest I nearly died.

What I wouldn't give to just lean in and lick that off.

The lights suddenly came on making me jump and I realised the film was over, another I'd missed nearly all of.

"So what did everyone think?" Emmett asked.

"Not bad." Rosalie said in a board voice "But next time me and Alice get to pick what we watch."

"Good idea Rose, nothing with blood in it!" Alice declared gathering up the empty bowls.

I tried to calm myself down as Emmett went on about how he wasn't going to watch some namby pamby chick flick with some pretty boy lead actor.

"I should probably get home." I said as Alice came back in.

If I didn't go now I never would.

Alice walked me to the door.

"How easy is it to climb up to your window?" I asked.

She looked up from the porch "Not imposable but I wouldn't recommend it."

Stepping forward she rubbed up against me "Night Jazz." she purred.

"I really don't like you sometimes!" I groaned.

"You started it." she stated sticking her tongue out at me. I pounced quickly sucking her tongue into my mouth, her fingers gripped the front of my t-shirt as I slowly massaged her tongue causing her to whimper when I pulled back.

"So I'll finish it." I said winking at her before heading to my car "Sweet dreams Mini." I called.

After that first night I discovered a new form of extreme sport.

Whenever I hung out with the three of them I slipped as many innuendos and hidden meanings into conversation as possible without tipping Emmett off to the fact that, whilst he was happily studying in Seattle I spent my nights getting down and dirty with his sister between the sheets.

It was a thrill of the danger, I was dangling a large juicy steak in front of a sleeping lion and if he ever woke up and realised I'd be dead but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

I wasn't doing it to taunt him, I really did feel guilty lying to him, it was just the rush of adrenalin at every passing comment wondering if I'd see the flash of understanding in his eyes that would land me in the ER for several days.

It as pretty incredible we'd managed to keep him in the dark for this long, me and Alice did have a hard time behaving around each other, and her cheeks would flush scarlet whenever she picked up on one of my references to our sex life, but even she was getting a thrill from her first real act of teenage rebellion.

It was fun and dangerous, and the danger made it all the more fun.

One part of summer that was less fun was working at the hospital, sure I usually got to have my lunch with Alice which was great but she was here as a volunteer working on the wards and I was here on punishment detail taking out the trash, sorting dirty laundry and cleaning up sick and various other disgusting bodily fluids on a daily basis.

Alice was absolutely thriving in this environment, getting the opportunity to work and help people. Everyday she seemed to shine a little brighter.

One of the downsides to this, jealousy on my part.

At school no one really took much notice of her, she was quiet, kept to herself and was, obviously, a target for bullies. At the hospital she was more herself, the herself she was around me and people noticed how great she was. More precisely Jacob Black noticed.

He was a volunteer on the wards with Alice and as they walked into the canteen together one day I felt my blood boil as he said something that made her laugh.

That was my laugh!

My teeth ground together as unfounded jealousy exploded in me watching him touch her arm.

Why was he touching her? He didn't need to touch her!

When they both had lunch Jacob moved to an empty table pausing when he realised Alice wasn't following. Her eyes scanned the canteen a smile spreading over her face as they found me. She turned to say something to Jacob before making her way over to where I continued to stew in anger and jealousy.

"Hey." she chirped happily pecking me on the cheek before sitting down "Jazz are you ok?"

I nodded stiffly but it did nothing to remove the look of concern on her face.

"How's your morning been?" I asked.

"Ok." she answered slowly "We worked on the children's ward, and there is just the cutest little boy called Seth." she gushed.

Note to self. Kill Seth!

I shook my head quickly. Maybe I should work on this jealousy thing if it's causing me to threaten violence to sick little boys.

"Jake says I'm a natural with the kids." I could hear the pride in her voice, Alice very rarely received complements.

"Well if _Jake_ says it it must be true." I spat out bitterly.

Ten seconds of silence followed as I tried to think of a way to force the words back in my mouth.

Risking a glance at Alice I saw her head was down as she played with her food.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

Her eyes flickered up to meet mine for a second before returning to her lunch. We ended up eating in silence because I couldn't think of what to say.

"Hey Alz, ready to go?"

I clenched my teeth hard as she smiled up at Jacob.

"Sure." her eyes flickered to me "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." I mumbled. Bristling slightly as Jacob looked me over, sizing up the competition.

He smiled in a self confident way and I nearly lost it as they walked out and he placed his hand on her shoulder as he leant in to whisper something in her ear.

I leant back rubbing a hand over my face. I was being stupid, Alice deserved to have friends.

_This guy doesn't just want to be her friend though._

This time when the anger rose it was accompanied by a tremor of fear. Yes I was happy Alice was getting more self confident and was making friends, but what if it lead to her finding someone else? Someone better than me.

I really don't think I could handle that.

* * *

Alice's pov

Emmett was very happy I was volunteering at the hospital, he didn't say anything but I knew he was thrilled I was actually getting out of the house and meeting new people.

When I found out Jasper was working there as well I knew he'd planned the whole thing, still if it meant I got to spend more time with him I really didn't mind.

I mostly served drinks and meals and spent time chatting to the patients who didn't get many visitors.

Esme warned me not to get too attached but that was hard. There was one elderly lady in particular, called Siobhan who I loved talking to. She had no children of her own and her husband had died several years ago, so there was no one to visit her.

I could spend hours listening to her tell stories about her life or reading her favourite poems to her.

Sometimes I lost track of time and ended up spending all my shift with her.

Jake said I was too soft. We had quickly become good friends. He was easy to talk to and always made me laugh.

Jasper didn't seem to like him all that much though.

"Alice." he growled one night when we were hanging out at his house "I really don't give a fuck about Jacob fucking Black!"

I blinked in shock at the anger in his voice.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"I just don't like the guy ok." he snapped.

"Ok. But he is my friend."

He scoffed "Yeah, then some." he spat.

I recoiled like he'd just hit me "What's that supposed to mean?"

He whirled to face me anger flashed in his eyes "He doesn't want to be just friends with you Alice."

I nodded "So you're jealous."

He huffed but didn't answer.

"So maybe he does want more from me, that doesn't mean I want more from him." I said trying to sooth him, but he just scoffed again sparking my own anger.

"You know what fuck you!" I yelled. He turned to me wide eyed in surprise at my outburst but I wasn't done yet, not by a long shot "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me when we went to your dads wedding, listening to Alisha and the others talking about what they wanted you to do to them? Or the way she kept throwing herself at you? Or Lauren at school? Or thinking about all the other girls you've shagged?" I wiped angrily at the traitorous tears that formed "But I don't let it bother me because I trust you. I trust you love me and you wont cheat on me and I thought you trusted me too." my voice broke at the end and I let out a sob.

"I do trust you." he said softly.

"You've got a funny way of showing it." I snapped "Or is it because you just don't want me to have any friends? I mean you hate that I talk to Bella as well."

"It's not like that." he tried to explain.

"Then what am I doing wrong?" I sobbed the tears now flowing freely.

He tried to wrap his arms around me but I pushed away angrily.

"Nothing Mini, you are doing nothing wrong. I'm sorry." he rambled "I'm sorry but I don't like this guy. I do trust you but I don't trust him and of course I want you to have friends and be happy but I'm jealous and I know you think I'm overreacting, and maybe I am, but it feels like you're going to move on or something, find someone better than me." he added quietly "It's like, when he makes you laugh or something, I get insanely jealous cause that's my laugh, you only used to laugh for me. Or Emmett but that's not the same. I know that's me being stupid and selfish and I do think it's great you're coming out of your shell and making friends and I wouldn't mind so much but this guy seems to be on a mission to get into your pants and that bothers me."

He staggered back as I launched myself into his arms kissing him fiercely, his hands grabbed my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I love you." I said firmly as I broke away, Jasper kissed along my jaw "I am never going to want anyone else." I assured him tugging on his hair to make him look at me "And for the record, no matter how much they may try, you are the only guy allowed anywhere near my pants." I reclaimed his lips letting his mouth and tongue dominate mine.

"I'm sorry." he breathed out.

"It's ok." I said playing with his hair "It's sort of flattering that you're scared someone else might want me."

He chuckled "You really have no idea how unbelievably gorgeous you are do you? I highly doubt _Jake_" he spat his name out "Is the only one."

I somehow refrained from saying a cheesy _'you're my only one' _and instead spent the rest of the evening showing him just how much he meant to me.

The next day at the hospital with Jasper's words firmly planted in my head I began to realise that some of Jake's behaviour towards me was a little over friendly.

Not having the most experience in the friends department I hadn't really noticed and I really hoped I hadn't been unintentionally encouraging him.

"Hey Alz." he greeted me with his easy grin as I headed to the kitchen to pick up the drinks trolley.

"Hi Jake." I responded.

"Did you have fun yesterday?" he asked falling into step beside me.

"Yeah had a great day, went for a walk with my brother then hung out with my boyfriend."

"Hung out? He didn't take you out anywhere?"

I shook my head "Nope not last night."

"That's nice." he said sarcastically.

I ignored his tone "It was actually." I said "I know it's soppy but I don't need to do stuff every night. Some of the best times are just hanging out with him." a happy smile spread over my face as I thought about Jasper "I guess that's love." I giggled.

Jacobs face fell a little "Yeah I guess." he muttered disappearing from my side suddenly.

I sighed heavily. Oh well I'd had a friend for a few weeks.

I tried not to worry too much. I hadn't been leading Jake on, I'd always been honest about Jasper. If he couldn't handle just being my friend I'd have to respect that.

After finishing my rounds I headed back to the children's ward to see Seth. He really was a cutie with big brown eyes and a cheeky grin.

I wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with him. I never asked because I didn't want it to affect the way I acted around them. I knew what it was like to have everyone looking at you with pity, not knowing what to say. These kids didn't need reminding of why they where here, most of the time they just wanted to forget and have fun. So that's what I tried to do for them.

"Hey Seth how've you been doing?" I asked moving to perch on the end of his bed.

He beamed happily at me, one of his front teeth missing.. "I'm good. Have you come to play with me?"

Being stuck on bed rest wasn't good for Seth, he seemed to be a pretty active kid so I spent a couple of hours playing card games with him to try and keep him from dwelling on being in hospital.

I seemed to be a magnet for the little kids whenever I was here and soon several had joined in and I was able to make my escape knowing Seth wouldn't be bored out of his mind.

"You're great with them you know."

I shrugged nervously as Doctor Cullen came over to praise me and I ended up walking with him to the staff room to grab a drink.

"Are you enjoying working here?" he asked me.

"Yeah." I answered then decided to make a little more of an effort "I really love it, I'm glad Jasper suggested it to me."

He raised an eyebrow "He did, did he."

I bit my lip hoping I wouldn't get him in trouble with his mum. I knew Jasper was here as punishment.

"You enjoy working with the kids?"

I nodded "I enjoy all of it really, there's this lady called Siobhan I love talking to as well, but I suppose" I thought for a second "It's hard for anyone in hospital but for kids it just seems worse somehow, I guess it makes me feel good knowing I've made them happy, even if it's only for a little while."

Doctor Cullen nodded pouring me a coffee "Do you think you'll continue volunteering after the summer?"

That threw me, I hadn't really considered that "I'd like to." I admitted "But it will be my senior year so it all depends on if I have time."

"Well I think you should, even if it's only one evening a week after school. You obviously enjoy it and I know the patients like you. I've been getting rave reviews."

I felt my cheeks grow warm at the complement "I'll defiantly think about it." I told him before his pager went off.

He sighed heavily as he checked it "Duty calls, it was nice talking to you Alice."

I really hoped I would have time to work here after summer, I knew I probably wouldn't pursue a medical career, way too much blood and gore for my liking, but there were lots of other options out there that would class this as good experience.

I talked to Emmett about it that night. Rosalie was spending this week with her family.

"I think if it's something you enjoy you should keep at it." I didn't miss the way his eyes flickered to my guitar case propped against the wall. The elephant in the room.

Neither of us mentioned why it now lived down here, or if I'd actually used it. It was just there.

"If you think you can't cope with your school work you can always stop going to the hospital for a few weeks. I'm sure they'd understand." he added probably remembering he had to be responsible and make sure I understood school was the priority.

"I do like it. It's weird that I've never really thought about what I want to do when I'm older."

Emmett chuckled "You never did, when I was little I remember wanting to be a fireman, cause I thought it would be call to drive around in the truck all day, then I wanted to be a wrestler, then a professional football player." he smiled at me affectionately "But you never really wanted to be anything, you were a very logical kid in many ways. When mum asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up you just said 'happy'."

His face became a little sad and I saw worry in his eyes.

"Yeah I'm working on that too." I said pulling my feet up onto the sofa so I could hug my knees.

"I don't think you realise just how good this volunteering thing is for you." he said softly. "Not just for college or work experience but generally."

I kept my eyes down shuffling my feet nervously.

"That and having Jasper as your friend." he smiled at me as I glanced up "He's been pretty good for you too."

As our eyes locked I'm amazed Emmett didn't see the guilt in them.

"Em, about Jasper" I began hesitantly. "The thing is…"

"That reminds me do you think he has his own tent? If not we'll have to get another before your birthday can't have you two sharing." he winked at me cheekily and I knew he was kidding around, if he knew there was no way he'd let Jasper come with us.

"I'll have to ask him." I mumbled.

"What were you going to say anyway?" he asked.

I looked up at him, my big brother, the one person I have always relied on, who has always been there for me no matter what.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Closing it I swallowed "Erm, just that he hasn't got back to me yet on whether he can come camping or not."

Tears pricked my eyes as guilt churned my stomach making me feel sick.

"Ok, well try and find out soon. And about the tent."

"Will do." I chocked trying to keep my voice steady.

We spent the evening watching a football game, not that I paid all that much attention. I watched Emmett as he threw abuse and popcorn at the TV.

I'd tell him when summer was over. I decided firmly, I'd keep things nice and peaceful then tell him it was just one of those things, over the summer me and Jasper grew closer and… yeah that would be ok, that would work.

I told myself over and over. After summer I wouldn't lie to him anymore.

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**Review, let me know what you think. xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: ****Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight I'm just having fun messing with her characters.**

**Big thanks to all my reviewers I love you guys, I really do. xx**

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**Chapter 22: We're all going on a summer holiday.**

Jasper's pov

I wont deny that I was happy Jacob Black had disappeared, he'd actually gone as far as swapping his shifts so he didn't work with Alice.

That upset her more than she let show so I tried not to let her see I was having an internal party about the whole thing. After all she had just been honest with him maybe this was the best for everyone.

Although Jacob no longer worked with Alice some of his shifts still clashed with mine and one day as I was eating my lunch alone he decided to come over.

"You don't deserve her you know." he said, no greeting or nothing.

I shrugged "Say's you." I tried to keep Alice's words at the forefront of my mind. She loved me, she was not going to leave me and this prick was not worth getting grounded over so I had to keep my temper and not hit him.

"She'll figure it out one day."

Could this guy not take a hint?

"Yeah she probably will." I admitted "But until then." standing up I turned and walked away.

Alice hadn't been impressed when I'd beat up Mike and she considered Jacob a friend, better to lose face by walking away then to fight with him and upset her.

The weeks seemed to be passing at an alarming rate and I was coping better than expected with my separation from Alice, our co-dependency had been a bit extreme and spending time with her felt more special when I wasn't seeing her everyday.

I was still looking forward to getting to stay with her again though.

I really wanted to do something special for Alice's birthday, we'd be camping with Emmett and Rosalie on the actual day so whatever I planned would be after that but I still wanted to do something nice.

I spent my free time watching cookery programmes, reading recipe books and making a lot of mess in the kitchen.

It wasn't even funny how inept I was but I was determined to cook her something.

There was also the small matter of what the fuck I was supposed to get her.

I was in such a quandary about the whole thing I ended up doing the unthinkable and went shopping with my mum.

I'd never really had to get presents for girls before, well other than my mum but that was a bit different.

The only idea I'd had was more for my benefit than Alice's and I was worried she may take it the wrong way so wanted to get her something nice as well.

Unfortunately I hated shopping with my mum and I was quickly losing patience.

"Jewellery's always a good idea if you want to get on her good side." my mum said.

"I was thinking engagement ring." I kept my face straight to enjoying my mums eyes going wide, as much as she loved Alice she didn't want me engaged before I finished college.

"Really?" her voice squeaked.

"No." I assured "Bit early to be thinking about that."

She let out a breath "You do that on purpose don't you?"

I shrugged innocently "You're the one who suggested jewellery." I pointed out.

"Yes but I was thinking necklace or bracelet not…oh never mind." she gave up knowing I was winding her up.

I had to admit Jewellery was a good idea. I'd also need something she could open in front of Emmett.

I sighed when I thought that, this was getting ridiculous!

It wouldn't be for much longer though, Alice had insisted we tell Emmett after summer so I was gearing myself up for his reaction.

"Are you and Alice going to be sharing a tent when you go camping?"

I rolled my eyes "We're going with her brother so I'd assume not."

"Ok." she paused for a second and I knew what she wanted to ask.

"To answer your next question, no we're not." I stomped away and stared at the window display of the closest jewellers.

"I wasn't going to ask." my mum said following me.

I just shrugged.

"Tell me you don't act like this around Alice."

I turned to scowl at her "Of course I don't. that's not why I'm…never mind."

"Fine be like that." she walked away.

It was so easy to fall out with her over nothing when we went shopping together, I don't even know why.

I sighed trying to calm down.

I really didn't mind me and Alice weren't having sex. I know I used to be upset about that but we still found ways to get physical. I just didn't want to discuss that with my mum. I mean what was I meant to say?

'No we still don't have sex but that's ok because I get her off on my fingers and tongue and her hands are pretty skilled so we're fine in that department!'

Besides why was my mum so bothered about me and Alice sharing a tent but was fine when I spent four nights a week at Alice's house unsupervised?

It made absolutely no sense. Strangely enough mum seemed more concerned about me going camping with Alice than Emmett was.

I arrived at Alice's house about 7 in the morning. Emmett wanted an early start and was already packing all the equipment into his jeep.

"Just dump your bag there and I'll, hopefully, find some room for it." he frowned "I really don't understand women. We're camping for three days, two nights, why do they need this much stuff?"

"Don't worry about it baby, it's too complicated for you to understand." Rosalie said bringing out another bag.

Even in jeans and a hoody she looked like she was modelling for an camping catalogue.

"Here if you put that one in first it will be easier." she moved to help Emmett so I made my escape to hunt out Alice for a minute or two of privacy.

She was just coming out of the kitchen clutching a mug of coffee in both hands.

"Morning gorgeous." I smiled at her.

She grinned back "Morning sexy!" she retorted "Emmett packed the car yet?"

"Nope. Apparently you and Rose are taking too much stuff."

She rolled her eyes "Well sorry but it takes a lot to look this gorgeous!"

I stole a quick kiss "No it doesn't, you look gorgeous all the time."

That made her smile happily "That's good to know, I wont bother making such an effort in future."

"You excited about your birthday?" I asked sinking onto the sofa with her, we could hear Emmett and Rosalie playfully arguing outside.

She shrugged trying to be nonchalant but I noticed the grin on her face.

"Come on Mini, you're not 17 everyday."

"Yeah I'm excited." she mumbled seeming embarrassed to admit that "I mean I know camping isn't how most people celebrate their birthday."

"Better than what I did on my 17th." I said wincing at the memory.

"Why what did you do?" she asked curiously.

Knowing there was no way out of this I decided to just tell her, after all I wasn't that guy anymore. "Well it was two days before we moved up here, so I was angry with both my parents and pissed off I was being forced to leave my friends so we got shit faced. And when I say shit faced I mean, could barely walk, can't remember most of the night, ended up throwing up a lot when I did finally stagger home shit faced."

Not my proudest moment I'll admit.

"Mum went ballistic." I sighed "So yeah, camping is defiantly a better idea than that."

Alice giggled "You were quite the bad boy weren't you."

I sent her my most cock sure smirk "I'm still a bad boy darlin, as you well know."

Desire sparked in her eyes and she bit her lip looking down at her hands making me smirk more, oh yeah I've still got it!

"Everyone ready to go?" Emmett hollered from the driveway.

Alice gave me a quick smile hopping up to take her coffee mug back to the kitchen. I stood slowly and made my way outside. Rosalie was looking very smug sitting in the front seat.

"You made it all fit then." I smirked at Emmett.

He just grunted and Rosalie looked over and winked at me "It just needed a woman's touch."

"Ali lets hurry it up." Emmett called ignoring his better half.

Alice came out shaking her head "Alright I'm here." turning she locked the door "Doors locked, alarms set, the house is secure." she reeled off as Emmett opened his mouth more than likely to ask her that.

"Alright smarty pants get in." he ruffled her hair as she passed him and slid into the back of the jeep next to me, Emmett got behind the wheel "Seatbelts." he stated "Everybody ready? If you've forgotten anything this is your last chance to remember because I am not turning back once we set off."

He waited for a full twenty seconds before starting the engine.

It was a two and a half hour drive and Emmett insisted on playing stupid car games like 'I spy' and 'who am I?'.

I decided to push my luck a little by flirting shamelessly with Alice, it was getting to the point I actually wanted some kind of reaction from Emmett. Some kind of acknowledgement that he saw the possibility I may want to date Alice. But I got nothing, not even one glare from him.

"Do you reckon he thinks I'm gay?" I asked Alice as we set up the tents.

I had expected to be on a nice campsite with toilet and shower tents set up, but no we were in the backside of nowhere, in the middle of a forest miles from civilisation.

It was like a B rated horror movie waiting to happen.

"Would it bother you if he did?" she asked with a grin.

I wrinkled my nose "I don't know." I admitted "But it seems the only explanation for how easy going he is on me."

"I don't think he does." Alice assured me "After he met you for the first time he did try to give me 'the talk', I suppose he thinks if it hasn't happened yet then it wont." her face fell and her voice trailed off at the end and I knew she was thinking about us lying to him again.

"You guys not done yet?" Emmett's voice rang out as he and Rosalie returned, firewood in their arms.

"It's not as easy as it looks." I defended.

We'd managed to get one tent up, only two more to go.

Emmett rolled his eyes "Ok well me and Rose will finish up here. Why don't you two go find us some food." he winked at Alice and I just stared at them in shock.

Was he serious? Did we have to catch our own or something?

Alice grinned at the look on my face and grabbed my hand "Come on."

When we were out of earshot she turned to smile at me "So how does hunting naked in the woods take you now?" she asked. I frowned for a split second before remembering Garrett's comments at my dads wedding and smirked at her.

"Sounds like a good plan." I pushed her against a tree my hands easily finding their way under her hoody. It seemed like years since I'd got to touch her.

"Sorry Jazz, but we can't. Not here." she sighed regretfully pushing me back.

"Ok." I settled for holding her hand as we travelled on through the trees. "You gonna teach me how to hunt?" I asked conjuring up a rather sexy image of Alice dressed like some Amazon warrior in animal skin bikini.

Hmm, wonder how open she'd be to dressing up?

"Yeah I'll let you in on all our secrets." she pulled me through a thick group of trees and my mouth dropped open in shock.

So maybe we weren't that far from civilisation then.

"Come on then my brave hunter, lets go bring home the bacon." she giggled continuing to lead me towards the small town before us.

"This beats having to catch our own." I said as Alice threw sausages into the basket I was carrying.

"Yep, you want anything? Just make sure it can be cooked over an open fire." she added throwing in some corn on the cob.

"I've never really been camping like this. All I can think of is marshmallows."

Alice grinned "Good plan."

We got back to the campsite to find Emmett and Rosalie still struggling with the tents.

"You not done yet?" I asked making Emmett scowl at me.

We finally managed to get all three tents up.

Emmett became obsessed with the campfire not letting the rest of us near it.

"Just like when we barbecue." Rosalie rolled her eyes. She was lying on a yoga mat flipping through a fashion magazine, somehow the great outdoors just didn't seem to suit her.

"It's a guy thing." Alice giggled.

"Erm as a male not obsessed with the hunter gatherer complex I am insulted by that." I said.

Alice just rolled her eyes at me.

"Hey you got all offended when I pointed out girls like shopping." I reminded her.

It was strangely relaxing being so separated from the world. Even though I now knew there was a town less than a mile away it felt like there was no one on the planet but us.

It was easy to forget about everything when you were out here.

I lay back staring up at the canopy of leaves that swayed softly, the small bursts of sunlight made it look like a kaleidoscope.

I'd only ever been camping once before on a school trip and thanks to the health and safety patrol we hadn't been allowed near the campfire and had pretty much spent two days being lectured on the importance of nature.

Trying to cook food over an open fire was a new experience and my first two attempts were burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.

Alice was laughing her ass off at me.

"Hey I can't cook in a kitchen, did you really think I'd be any better doing it this way?" I huffed.

Calming herself down Alice gave me a sympathetic look and passed me one of her perfectly cooked hotdogs.

"It takes a while to get it right." Emmett said, surprising me by sticking up for me "Don't feel bad. Alice makes us all look useless because she's exceptionally gifted when it comes to cooking." he grinned at Alice as she scowled at him.

I did slightly better with the marshmallows. Me and Alice had got several packets to supposedly last us over the three days, unfortunately we ended up eating them all that first night meaning the four of us were on one hell of a sugar high and as the sun set Emmett decided it would be the perfect time to start telling ghost stories.

"But when the officers arrived at the scene there was nothing left but a single scrap of red fabric." Emmett finished his first story in a creepy voice and I just rolled my eyes.

"No offence Em but I hear that one in kindergarten!" I said in a bored voice.

He scowled "Ok, well this next one is sure to scare the pants off you."

The only thing around here that's gonna get my pants off is your sister!

I glanced over at Alice on instinct to find her hugging her knees.

"You ok Mini?" I asked in concern.

She shook her head curling in on herself as Emmett began his next tale of terror about missing campers in the woods. I nearly smacked myself at my stupidity. I mean I know Alice hated horror movies but I didn't consider these stories would upset her so much. And it didn't look like Emmett had thought about it either.

I scooted around the fire so I was closer to her "It's just a story." I murmured soothingly wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"I know that." she muttered.

"Just ask him to shut up." I suggested.

"You're all enjoying it though." she pointed out.

Before I had the chance to say anything else Emmett leapt out from behind us making Alice scream bloody murder. I glared up at him as she buried her head in my chest, her fingers digging painfully into my sides as she clung to me.

"Idiot!" Rosalie hissed "You never think."

Emmett's face was a picture of regret as he sank down next to us "I'm sorry Ali." he said softly running a hand over her back "Come on squirt, I'm sorry."

She turned her head slightly to glare at him "Rosalie's right you're an idiot."

"I know." he hung his head "I'm sorry."

She let go of me to punch his shoulder, though I doubt he felt it, before turning back to me.

Emmett and Rosalie returned to their seats around the fire.

"Ok so no horror stories." Emmett seemed at a bit of a loss. So Rosalie stepped in and started telling us stories about her younger brother and sister and I just enjoyed having Alice in my arms again.

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Alice's pov

I love Emmett, of course I do, but sometimes I really could kill him!

I know I'm a wimp and pathetic and a big cry baby, but I can't handle creepy ghost stories or horror or anything like that.

Emmett has known me since the day I was born, you would think he knew this about me by now.

But no, he thinks it's amusing to scare the shit out of me then expect me to sleep alone in a tent surrounded by trees that made creepy noises and cast weird shadows.

I calmed down a little thanks to being in Jasper's arms and Rosalie's stories about her siblings. It was clear how much she adored them and I couldn't help thinking she'd make an amazing mother one day.

"Bed time." Emmett declared a few hours later. I sat up startled having been dozing against Jasper's shoulder and threw a nervous glance at my tent.

"I think I need to use the little boys room." Jasper helped me stand up with him.

"Third rock from the left." Emmett grinned tossing him a torch.

"Great!" Jasper grimaced.

I waited for him to come back watching Emmett douse the embers of the fire so we only had the light of the torches to see by.

"I tell you something I am never taking indoor plumbing for granted again." Jasper announced as he made his way back to us.

We said our goodnights and went into our separate tents. I changed into sweat pants and a tank top and pulled on a sweater as well.

I had been right, the trees creaked ominously above me, the moonlight creating weird shadows over my tent.

No way in hell was I sleeping alone!

As quietly as possible I grabbed my phone and climbed out of my tent. I tiptoed past Emmett and Rosalie's tent not even daring to breath.

I paused for a second listening for any sign of movement and hearing nothing I quickly let myself into Jasper's tent.

"Mini?" Jasper whispered as I zipped the tent back up.

"Yeah." I whispered back moving carefully so as not to tread on him.

"What are you doing?" I heard rustling as he sat up and slowly lowered myself to my knees next to him.

"I can't sleep on my own after those stories." I bit my lip realising how unbelievably pathetic I sounded and hoped he'd think that was just a ploy so I could stay with him.

"We could get caught." he didn't sound too worried, he was just reminding me this was dangerous.

"We wont." I assured confidently "Besides it's my birthday, I can do what I want."

He chuckled softly and I could see his eyes shining in the dim light. "You gonna get in then?" he asked unzipping his sleeping bag.

I pulled off my sweater and sweat pants knowing I'd end up overheating if I kept them on.

Jasper's hands slowly ran up my legs making me shiver I kept still as they moved higher carefully tracing ever curve before wrapping his arms around my waist and helping me snuggle down beside him.

"I've missed this." he sighed happily.

There wasn't much room to manoeuvre but his hands slid under my tank top and started running up and down my spine.

"I've missed you too." I giggled wriggling closer and felt his hardness pressing into my thigh. "And I've missed you." I cooed my hand somehow getting between us to stroke him.

"Alice." he warned

"Sorry." I mumbled and stopped teasing him, I wrapped my arms around his waist instead "What have you got me for my birthday?"

"Patience." he teased.

I pouted at him "It's passed midnight, technically it's my birthday." I used the full force of my eyes on him knowing he was a sucker for them. "What have you got me?"

He smirked "A vibrator!"

My eyes widened in shock "Seriously?"

He chuckled "No not really. I was thinking about it but I don't want to end up being a disappointment when we have sex." he winked at me with a cheeky grin and my body seemed to turn to liquid.

"There are a couple of things you probably shouldn't open in front of Emmett though." he added thoughtfully.

"Can I open them now?" I asked squirming in excitement. I really loved getting presents.

His hands gripped my hips to stop me wriggling against him "Well I do have something special planned for when we get home, just the two of us, but if you can't wait that long."

I shook my head "I'm very impatient."

He sighed "Ok but that means I have to move."

I pouted now at my dilemma, on the one hand I really wanted my presents but on the other I was so comfy lying here with him.

"Fine I'll wait." I gave in.

"There's one you can't have until we get home anyway." he teased.

I frowned "Why?"

His hand found it's way between my legs and I bit my lip to stop whimpering.

"Well you're kind of loud." he chuckled and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Really?" I'd never thought about how much noise I made. Great now I was going to be self conscious.

"Yup." his hand returned to my back "Don't worry I love it." he ran a trail of kisses over my cheeks "Especially when you scream my name."

My toes curled thinking about what he did to make that happen.

"We should try and get some sleep." Jasper whispered nuzzling closer to me.

"Yeah." I yawned a little "My alarms set for 6 so I can sneak back."

"You gonna do this again tomorrow night?" he asked his fingers drawing soothing circles on my back making me feel very sleepy.

"If I can." I said my eyes drooping "Love you Jazz."

"I love you Alice. Happy birthday." he murmured kissing me softly.

The next thing I knew my alarm was going off and I felt the usual jolt of excitement in my stomach. It was my birthday, I was 17 today.

Jasper mumbled something incoherent as I wriggled free of his arms and sleeping bag shivering at the cold morning air I pulled my clothes back on quickly.

Jasper mumbled again still half asleep and I tried not to laugh as I made my escape.

Heading back to my tent I found my sleeping bag very cold and unwelcoming as I thought back to how nice and cosy I had been wrapped up next to Jasper.

I dozed restlessly for a couple of hours before the sound of someone unzipping my tent woke me.

"Rise and shine birthday girl." Emmett hollered, his voice all the louder in the small space.

Groaning I curled myself up trying to ignore him.

"Rose she's not stirring bring the cold water." Emmett called.

"Ok, I'm up." I grumbled sitting up and glaring at my brother.

A fire was already burning and Rosalie was setting up ready to start making toast. A small pile of presents wrapped in shiny blue paper sat to the side.

I knew it was hardly a traditional birthday party for a 17 year old but come on, if I had a party who could I invite?

Jasper crawled out of his tent, I tried not to stare but the bed head he had going on was very sexy.

"Happy birthday you." he grinned at me giving me a tight hug.

I squealed happily as Jasper added two more presents to the pile wrapped in yellow paper covered in daisies.

"Open presents after breakfast." Emmett grinned evilly at me.

I scowled at him but Rosalie came to my rescue.

"Actually breakfast is going to be a while so you may as well open them now."

Throwing a triumphant smirk at Emmett I sat cross legged on the floor pulling the presents towards me feeling like a kid on Christmas morning.

I was very enthusiastic when it came to unwrapping presents and I didn't understand people who took their time trying not to rip the paper, I usually reduced it to shreds.

Emmett and Rosalie had brought me a new pair of boots I'd been after, they had a six inch heel giving me a nice boost in height. I also got two new books by Celia Ahern, one of my favourite modern authors and my traditional 'me to you' bear ornament that I collected. They had got me the one dressed as a cowboy that strangely reminded me of Jasper.

"Jasper helped a little with that one." Emmett said as I picked up the last one.

Looking at Jasper he just shrugged.

I quickly ripped the paper off to find a fabric covered scrapbook, the first few pages had pictures of me, Em and Rosalie and a few of me and Jasper but most of it was empty.

"You're starting senior year." Emmett explained "Your final year of high school before you go out into the big world. I got a scrapbook to document mine so I thought you might like one too."

Tears pricked my eyes as I understood what he was telling me. This would have been mum and dads present to me.

"Thanks Em, I love it." I said standing to give him a big hug.

I smiled over at Jasper as I sat back down to open his presents.

"It's not much." he muttered nervously.

One was the new Greenday CD I'd been after and the other was a framed photo of us from his dads wedding. It had been taken at the evening meal, before everything had gone wrong, and we were both laughing at something.

"Garret emailed it to me, I thought you'd like a copy." he shrugged.

"It's great." I beamed up at him "I love y…it." luckily both Emmett and Rosalie were looking at the picture so missed my near slip.

After a hearty breakfast of hot buttered toast we decided to head out for a hike through the woods.

We had a little surprise for Jasper and after walking for about an hour we came upon the clearing dad had discovered years before.

"You can still see where we set up bases." I grinned at Emmett before turning to explain to Jasper "This was our baseball field, dad found it years ago and whenever we came camping, which was quite a lot, we'd come here to play."

I grinned digging the baseball from my bag "So you fancy a game?" I asked flicking the ball at him. I was pretty impressed when he managed to catch it.

"You're on." he grinned back the spark of competition in his eyes.

With there only being four of us it wasn't much of a game, but it was fun.

Rosalie came last due to her lack of athletic ability and I came second to last, I blame that on having short legs.

Emmett and Jasper were pretty evenly matched but on Jasper's last ball he bagged himself another home run pushing him into the lead.

I have no idea what it was, maybe it was just our lack of privacy recently but Jasper looked so sexy playing ball it's a miracle I didn't jump him in the middle of the field.

Later that night, after I'd snuck into Jasper's tent again, I just lay happily in his arms.

"So have you had a good day?" he asked.

I grinned "Yeah, best birthday ever." I assured.

"I'm glad." he sighed placing soft kisses on my neck "You want your other presents yet?" he whispered in my ear.

I was so content in that moment I didn't really care "I thought you wanted to save them until it was just the two of us."

He nuzzled my jaw making me tilt my head so he could reach my lips.

"It is just the two of us." he pointed out, his lips still moving against mine.

"If you want me to open them now I will." I murmured a little breathlessly.

He sat up unzipping the sleeping bag and crawled out, he pulled two more presents from his bag and moved back to me.

I sat up and he pulled me to him so I was sat between his legs with my back to his chest.

He turned the torch on so we could see but doused the light slightly so it wouldn't be seen outside.

He passed me one and cleared his throat nervously "This is more for my benefit than yours. Please don't be offended."

Feeling a little apprehensive I ripped off the paper to reveal black lace lingerie. It was a bit of a shock and the only thing I could think to ask was "How did you know my size?"

He kissed the side of my head "I've been pretty much living with you for the past couple of months, I just checked some of your clothes. If you don't want to wear it that's fine, like I said it was my imagination running wild with me." he added quickly.

"Well, I guess I can try them on when I get home and see." I promised "No ones ever brought me lingerie before." I rolled my eyes at myself when I said that. Well obviously Alice!

"Do you mind that I did?" he asked in a worried voice.

I thought for a second "No I don't."

I didn't mind wearing sexy underwear for him if that's what he wanted. Since I'd started seeing Jasper I'd brought myself several new lace bra and panty sets, I just hoped these weren't too revealing. I still had some limits, not to mention insecurities.

"Right well last one." he passed me the final gift.

Even through the paper I could tell it was jewellery and I ripped off the paper with wild abandon and opened the small black box.

"Jasper." I gasped staring in amazement at the necklace that lay inside.

It was a small heart made from what looked like mother of pearl overlaid with swirling silver detail.

"It's beautiful." I whispered feeling tears forming in my eyes.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you like it." he chuckled.

I let my fingers slowly trace over it "I love it." turning I sat up on my knees facing him "I love you." my arms wrapped around his neck and I brought my lips to his, kissing him fiercely like I'd wanted to do all day.

Jasper responded enthusiastically gentle laying me on my back before his mouth began a journey over my body and I just lay back basking in the sheer bliss of the moment.

Defiantly the best birthday ever!

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**This chapter just didn't want to end lol. **

**Review. xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:**** I never have and never will own Twilight.**

**I am so, so sorry for the wait but I honestly have no idea where this past week has gone. Seriously time has just disappeared on me. Anyway on with the chapter.**

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**Chapter 23: Secrets and lies.**

Jasper's pov

Oh why did I think this was a good idea?

The kitchen looked like a massacre had just taken place, I was covered in god knows what, I seriously doubted if anything was actually edible and Alice was due to arrive in ten minutes!

What the fuck made me think I could pull this off?

I should have just accepted I can't cook and taken her out for a meal.

Deciding to give up on the kitchen for now I dived into the shower so I, at least, would be presentable when she got here.

I could still take her out but I didn't have reservations anywhere.

So much for making this special!

I just about managed to get clean and dressed by the time the doorbell rang, my hair was still damp but it could have been worse.

Throwing the wet towels and dirty clothes into the laundry I took a deep calming breath and headed to the door.

Alice beamed up at me as I opened the door and I took a second to just look at her.

She was in a white summer dress with red flowers printed on the skirt, my mouth lifted into a smile as I saw the necklace I'd brought her resting against her creamy skin.

"You look amazing." I told her honestly causing her cheeks to turn a delicate pink.

"Thanks Jazz."

Sometimes she was like Jekyll and Hyde. This shy girl currently shuffling self consciously on my doorstep was a far cry from the sexy little tease she could be, in truth both sides turned me on just as much.

"So where are we going?" she asked her eyes flickering over my damp hair.

_You've still got the chance to take her somewhere, pretend that mess in the kitchen never happened._

I seriously did consider it but it was a Saturday night and I didn't want to go out just to find that we couldn't get in anywhere.

"Actually we're staying in." I said taking her hand and leading her into the lounge "Mum's at Carlisle's so we have the place to ourselves."

"Oh so that's your plan." she accused grinning at me.

Pretty much yeah.

I just smiled trying not to let my thoughts show.

She bit her lip "I didn't wear that new lingerie you brought me." she said looking down "I thought we'd be going out and the black would have shown through this dress."

"Alice this isn't a booty call you know." I said "Yes I'm not going to deny I have lots and lots of plans for you tonight but" I tried to keep hold of my train of thought as she glanced up at me through her lashes "But I also…"

There was something else that was going to happen tonight other than me and Alice getting naked. What was it?

Come on Jasper, concentrate man!

She smiled at me biting her lip, there's the sexy little tease.

"What kind of plans?"

My mouth had gone very dry making it hard to speak.

"Well" my voice came out rather high pitched, clearing my throat I tried again "Well there's your final birthday present."

We had been leaning into each other slowly our lips barely an inch apart.

"So are we getting take out?" Alice whispered softly.

I blinked several times trying to get my brain to function and stop fantasising about all the things I wanted to do to Alice tonight.

"What?"

"Seeing as how we're not going out are we going to get take out? You know to eat." she asked.

"Erm." I glanced nervously towards the kitchen, looking back at Alice when she giggled.

"Did you try to cook?"

How the fuck did she know that?

"_Try_ being the operative word." I mumbled as she jumped up and headed towards the kitchen.

I had the sudden urge to sprint past her blocking the way but instead trailed after her with my head down in defeat.

Looking over at Alice as we entered the kitchen she was biting her bottom lip hard obviously trying not to laugh at the mess I'd made.

"What was it meant to be?" she asked.

I just shrugged as she made her way to the stove to look at the various pans containing congealing gunge.

"No blue soup!" she joked before looking back at me, her smile became gentle as she took in my dejected posture "Thank you."

I looked up at her in shock "For what?" I stammered out.

"For trying." she came back over and took hold of my hands "It means a lot to me that you tried to do this for me."

I shrugged still having my one man pity party "Would have been better if I'd actually made something edible."

"Yes. But then you wouldn't be you, and I love you." she stretched up to kiss my cheek.

"I don't get why sometimes." Yes I was wallowing.

Alice sighed "Jasper being able to cook wouldn't make me love you more. If anything it would make me love you less because I love cooking and I would hate it if you tried to take over from me." she smiled up at me "So you go order us a take out and I'll get started cleaning up this…experiment."

"No" I almost yelled "Mini you don't have to clean up, I was trying to do something special, this was for your birthday."

"So you want it to be fun?" she asked.

I was so upset at how wrong things had gone I missed the teasing tone in her voice. I leapt out of my skin when she splashed water in my face.

She grinned at me "You worry too much." turning towards the sink she leant over to turn on the taps wiggling her ass obviously "Oh no!"

"What?" I asked in concern.

"The side was wet." she turned to face me and my mouth dropped open as I saw the top of her dress was now see-through revealing the pale pink bra she had underneath.

"Oh fuck." I whispered as she sauntered towards me.

"Cleaning up can be fun." she giggled.

Pans went flying as I grabbed her hips lifting her onto the counter, my lips crushed hers as my hands pushed up her skirt. Pushing her panties aside I moaned at how wet she was, two fingers easily slipped inside her making her whimper. Her hips moved in time with my hand.

I bit my lip hard trying to control my own need for release as my fingers spend up.

"Jasper." she moaned her head falling back, she gripped my shoulders tightly as she came.

My head fell forward to rest against her chest listening to her heart as her breathing calmed.

"That better not have been my birthday present." she warned as she sat up.

I smirked "Oh no, that's still to come." I promised leaning in to nibbled her neck.

"Jasper." she moaned "You promised me food. Not to mention your mum will flip if she comes back to find her kitchen in this state."

"She's not going to be home until tomorrow." I said "I can clean up in the morning."

"You could I suppose. But I've got a pass for the night just in case. So you may not be up in time."

I looked up into her eyes "What did you just say?"

She grinned "I wasn't sure what the plan was so I made sure Emmett wont be expecting me home until morning. So go order us a take out." she ordered pointing to the lounge.

"Yes ma'am." I smirked pulling her in for another kiss.

Alice was a domestic goddess. It took me less than five minutes to ring through our order but by the time I got back to the kitchen she had the whole thing organised so it didn't look quite so daunting and was already halfway through the washing up.

I moved to stand behind her where she stood at the sink washing dishes.

"I love it when you wear a skirt." I murmured running my lips over her neck.

She giggled leaning back against me "I can't begin to imagine why!" she teased.

I took a step back so I could kneel down "Well for one they reveal your legs." I said slowly running my fingers up from her ankle to her knees loving the way her breath stuttered "Two they give easy access to the delights beneath." my fingers continued up her legs pushing her skirt up as they went.

"Was there a third?" she asked her voice shaking slightly.

"Hmm, not that I can think of." I said my fingers wrapped around the waist band of her panties and slowly pulled them down.

As expected they matched her bra, Alice always wore coordinating underwear and for some reason it really turned me on. I carefully lifted each of her feet to remove them fully.

"Turn." I ordered.

"Jazz I'm trying to clean up."

"It can wait. Now turn." my hands went to her hips directing her around to face me.

Sitting up on my knees I kissed her stomach and up over the damp fabric at her chest.

"It's been too long." I murmured almost to myself.

"Fuck." Alice whimpered as I ducked my head under her skirt.

Her legs were shaking so hard as my lips and tongue attacked her it's quite amazing she remained standing. After she came I pushed the dress higher to place a kiss just below her belly button before removing my head and standing up.

Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled as she looked at me, with one look little Jay sprang straight to attention. I could not take my eyes off her, the way she looked, I smirked, that was all down to me.

Somehow the kitchen did end up getting cleaned but most of our take out was uneaten as we made the most of being alone together.

As I held her tight later that night guilt rose up in me.

"Mini?" I whispered hoping she was still awake.

She wriggled around in my arms to face me her green eyes filled with innocent love and trust and self loathing made an appearance alongside my guilt.

This night was meant to be about her, a special treat for her birthday. Instead of that however, I'd done what I hadn't wanted to and pretty much turned it into a booty call.

The self loathing increased as I realised if I apologised she wouldn't understand why. Alice didn't have enough experience to realise just how disrespectful I had been to her tonight.

Of course in my defence the second I'd seen her in her wet see-through dress conscious thought had left the building in favour of hormone driven teenage lust.

Sighing I let one hand trace her cheek "I'm sorry." I mumbled making her frown "I really wanted tonight to be special for you."

She smiled softly snuggling into me "It was special." she murmured.

Told you she wouldn't understand.

"I wanted to make it really special though, I mean it was meant to be all about you." I sighed knowing I wasn't explaining this too well.

She began chewing her lip nervously "You wanted it to be really special!" she asked slowly.

I nodded "That's why I tried to cook." I reminded her.

Her eyes suddenly locked onto mine and she rolled on top of me her lips kissing up my jaw to my ear "You can make it really special." she whispered biting softly on my ear lobe "Make love to me."

I froze, oh fuck not again.

"No." I said firmly, rolling her gently off me.

Maybe that was a little harsh Jazz.

Her eyes were filled with hurt and humiliation from my rejection, tears began to form as well.

"Alice." I reached over to take hold of her but she wriggled away. My arms shot out to grab her as she reached the edge of the bed nearly dumping her ass on the floor.

"Let go." she demanded as I easily pulled her back to me. Her little fists hit my chest hurting a bit more than I'd expected they would.

"Alice stop it." I said as she hit me again "I'm sorry, that came out wrong but let me explain."

My hands came to lock around her wrists as she made to hit me again.

She refused to meet my eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks.

I really hated it when she cried.

"Mini come on." I pulled her closer trapping her hands between us and wrapping my arms tight around her. "Please just let me explain."

Her attempts to get free lessened slightly and I took that as a sign she was listening to me.

"I'm here trying to apologise for doing exactly what I didn't want to do tonight and making it all about sex, and then you go and ask me that."

"But I…"

"Mini." I loosened my arms a little so I could look at her face "That's not happening tonight ok."

Anger sparked as she tried to push back the hurt. "Fine." she snapped pushing free "If you don't want me I'll go." she rolled so her back was to me but before she could move my arms were around her waist again.

"I do want you." I reassured.

"You just don't want to have sex with me!"

I sighed angrily pulling her back to my chest "Alice stop it, you know that's not true."

Fuck I almost wish it was.

It was a good thing she's asked me when I was drowning in self loathing or I may not have been able to resist.

She wriggled around to face me again "Then why wont you?" she asked in a small voice.

That question actually threw me because as I stared down at her I couldn't think of a single reason not to take her in my arms and spend all night making love to her.

I leant forward instinctively to kiss her catching myself at the last second I rested my forehead against hers instead, closing my eyes with a heavy sigh.

"If you're absolutely sure you're ready for this then at some point we can try but not tonight." opening my eyes I smiled a little "Anyway didn't you want your first time to be in your own bed?"

"That's not really possible at the moment though is it." she pointed out.

"Alice I've lasted nearly eight months lusting after you and wanting to have sex with you, a few more weeks wont kill me and it will give you a chance to make sure you really ready for this."

"I am." she said with utter conviction, her eyes burning into mine.

Must resist temptation!

"Ok." my hands rested on her back, they twitched taking on a life of their own as they moved down to cup her ass.

She let her head fall against my chest "I'm sorry I hit you."

"That's ok Mini." I pressed a kiss to her hair "Tonight hasn't exactly gone the way I planned."

Understatement of the century there.

"Whenever we plan anything it always goes wrong." she mumbled.

I stared down at her, my hands now running up and down her thighs. "Is that why you didn't mention the fact you felt ready for sex before now?" I asked.

She sighed heavily her breath breaking over my chest causing a shiver of desire to run through me.

"Yeah, I didn't want to talk about it this time, I just wanted it to happen naturally, you know. Guess I messed that up huh?"

I shook my head "No Mini you didn't. Just because we're now on the same page doesn't mean we have to plan it for a specific time if you don't want."

She looked up at me and I kissed her nose "But just a warning, next time you start pushing for more I probably wont stop."

She grinned "Good. You've been driving me crazy with your self control these past few weeks."

She squealed as I started tickling her "I've been driving you crazy?" I growled playfully "You've driven me nearly insane, with all your teasing and your sexy see-through dress and all those little noises."

I continued tickling her rolling to pin her beneath me so she couldn't escape.

"Jasper." she gasped in between giggles "Stop. Please."

I complied resting my hands either side of her face and keeping my weight off her.

"You are such a tease." I told her dropping my head to place kisses on her face, neck and sternum "And then you act all sweet and innocent, and shy. You turn me on so much it's a miracle I've lasted this long." I growled biting down softly.

"Jazz are you tired?" she asked me randomly.

I looked up at her frowning "Not really, why?"

She bit her lip her hands skimming down my stomach "Cause you're getting me seriously horny." she pushed my boxers down her warm hand closing around my dick and that's all it took for me to be rock hard for her.

"Not really tired." I muttered disjointedly bringing my lips to hers.

* * *

Alice's pov

After round two, or more precisely round five, Jasper passed out beside me snoring lightly. No matter how hard I tried sleep eluded me.

I could not stop thinking about Jasper's rejection. I know it hadn't technically been a rejection, but it had still stung.

Maybe my previous silence hadn't been the best idea, maybe I should have told him how I was feeling rather than just throwing myself at him like I had done.

Jasper was right, now it was all out in the open and we both knew how we felt things could just move forward when it felt right.

I felt really bad that I'd nearly ruined things, especially after all the effort Jasper had put in to try and make this special, now he was going to be worried I hadn't enjoyed it, or he'd done something wrong or something.

I pressed myself closer to him peppering kisses all over his bare chest, he shifted in his sleep his arms tightening around me and I smiled. Despite my worries I knew we'd be fine, after all we'd been through worse and survived. I snuggled into Jasper, loving how easily we fitted together, and closed my eyes sleep finally taking me.

The rest of the summer passed quickly and before I knew it the last week had arrived and Emmett and Rosalie were making plans to head back to Seattle.

"Are you going to be alright on your own?" Emmett asked on our last night.

I smiled "I'll be fine Em." I paused "Jasper will probably be over most nights."

I tried to gauge Em's reaction, he frowned a little but didn't actually comment. It was frustrating because I really wanted some idea of how he would react when I told him Jasper was my boyfriend.

Rosalie seemed a bit more aware something was possibly going on but had the sense to wait until we were alone before actually asking me.

"So how are things with you and Jasper?"

My heart nearly stopped when I thought she'd figured everything out "How do you mean?" I asked as calmly as possible.

"Well you've been friends for what? eight months now." she pushed a little but let me tell her in my own time.

I immediately wanted to deny everything on a knee jerk reaction but managed to stop myself.

"I don't know, I mean he's a good friend and he's obviously a guy so I wont deny I've been thinking about, you know, being more than friends." I glanced up to see her smiling at me "Do you think Em would flip if anything did happen?"

I had to ask, seeing as how Emmett wasn't giving me any indication of how he might react.

Rosalie sighed "Well I wont deny he does tend to overreact when confronted with the very idea of you and a boy, as I'm sure you've realised. But I know he does like Jasper so he may be ok." she trailed off "Well he should be ok when he gets used to the idea."

"He didn't seem that bothered over summer, I mean he didn't say anything when Jasper came camping with us." I pointed out.

Rosalie sighed "Well actually that's my fault, he was getting a bit over the top worrying about you so I told him you two were just friends, and that he was being very unfair on Jasper seeing as how good he's been to you, standing up for you to Mike and the others."

I nodded "And he took that to mean there was no possibility of us being more than friends."

"Yeah pretty much." she said slowly.

I chewed my lip, that complicated things a little.

"But at the moment you are just friends so he has time to get used to the idea."

My stomach twisted in guilt "Yeah I guess."

"So have you and Jasper talked about maybe…" Rosalie was good at this, directing a question but not backing you into a corner, forcing you to answer.

"Sort of." This was harder than I'd thought "We're sort of just seeing how it goes, you know."

"And you'd rather like someone to maybe mention something to Emmett." she grinned at me.

I smiled back sweetly "Well it might be nice so it's not such a big shock to him if something did develop."

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me "And you can't explain all this to him yourself?"

I shrugged "He'll take it better from you, I mean the last time I mentioned a possible date he freaked out. I'll tell him if anything did happen. All you have to do is make him see it is a possibility." I used the big puppy dog eyes on her "Please."

"Ok." she sighed in defeat "But you owe me!"

I hugged her tight "Thanks Rose."

The next morning Jasper surprised me when he showed up to take me to school, rather than the frantic kissing and groping we usual participated in, he simply kissed me once.

"Don't want to be late for school on our first day back." he joked and I knew he had a point, if we started anything school would most defiantly be the last thing on my mind.

"I wonder how many classes we'll have together this year." Jasper mused as he drove us to school.

"More than one hopefully." I smiled over at him.

Turns out I had a grand total of two classes with Jasper. Unfortunately we no longer had the lesson before lunch together so I made my way to the cafeteria alone.

The hallways were full of whispers, I glanced around nervously but for once they didn't seem to be about me.

Jasper was already seated with a lunch tray and he waved me over .

"I got yours too." he said pushing a slice of pizza and a side salad over to me.

"Thanks." I smiled sliding into the seat opposite him. More whispers reached my ears and I frowned "What's going on?" I muttered unease rising in me, what if it was about me? I mean it usually was. But no one was looking at me.

"Something's happened to interest the masses." Jasper mumbled keeping his head down.

"You know." I challenged.

He looked up and shrugged "Well they couldn't keep it secret forever, she's starting to show."

Two and two slid into place rather quickly. "Bella." I gasped out.

I suddenly felt awful, I mean I'd hardly even thought about her over the summer. We hadn't spoken at all. Obviously people would start gossiping when they found out.

Jasper just shrugged "It was bound to happen eventually." he said unconcerned.

I glared at him making him sigh heavily.

"What?" he asked.

"Is a little compassion too much to ask for?" I snapped at him "Lauren and Jess are going to make her life hell."

He raised an eyebrow "I miss the part where I'm supposed to give a fuck! After all she contributed to make your life hell for three years. It's called karma."

"So she deserves it?" I stabbed violently at my salad.

"Do I feel sorry for her? Yes I do. But she got herself into this mess Alice, her actions have consequences."

"Easy for you to say you have no idea what it's like." I blinked, cursing myself as tears formed.

"Maybe not but you do." he said softly "You went through it all for three years, alone and she did nothing to help you."

I looked up to meet his eyes "So you want me to do the same? To just join in the taunts and whispers and let her deal with it alone."

"Of course not." he snapped again "Besides she's got Edward." he sighed and shook his head "You know what just do whatever you want. I'm fucking sick of this."

"Of what?" I asked quietly.

"Of us fighting." he looked straight at me "Have you ever realised the only time we ever really fall out it's because of Bella and Edward?"

My eyes dropped as I thought about that. He did have a point.

"I get that you want to help her Alice, I really do. I understand you can't turn your back on her but I would just like some kind of admission from you that she hurt you. You act like you've been best friends for years, like the past three years never happened. She let you down Alice just admit that."

Before I had time to respond Bella and Edward walked in and the whispers died down to silence. She was wearing a baggy top but you could see the slight bump underneath.

Glancing over I saw Jasper did look a little uncomfortable as the silence continued.

"It doesn't take much to give them a little support and like you said I do know how much that would mean to them."

He looked up at me staring deep into my eyes for a few seconds before he looked back at his lunch shaking his head.

"Like I said, do what you want." he mumbled.

Bella's eyes found mine as I looked over at her and with a smile I waved for her and Edward to join us.

Jasper glared at the table but, as with Jacob, I was making a stand. This was who I was and if he didn't like it well…

Cold fear swamped me for a second and my resolve faltered.

If he didn't like it we'd figure out a compromise later.

The week progressed much the same. At home we were fine, mainly because we didn't mention Bella and Edward, but at school Jasper was distant, especially at lunch when the four of us sat together. I knew it was something we would have to talk about eventually but I didn't want to ruin the peaceful time we had outside school by bringing it up.

"Emmett's picking me up after school." I reminded him on Friday, the first week had just sped past.

"Yeah I know." he sighed "So I probably wont see you until Monday."

I frowned "Your not coming over this weekend?"

He looked over at me "I can if you want, but maybe it would be best if I'm not around when you tell Emmett."

Understanding dawned as I remembered I was meant to be mentioning the fact mine and Jasper's relationship was no longer platonic to Emmett this weekend.

"Coward!" I teased grinning at him.

"Every time." Jasper grinned back "What can I say?" he wrapped him arms around my waist pulling me against him "I'm rather enjoying my life at this moment in time, I'd hate for it to be tragically cut short."

I melted into him as he kissed me slowly, gently nibbling my bottom lip to gain entrance to my mouth. He continued to take his time, his tongue slowly caressing mine. It was one of those kisses that made you feel like you were floating, like your body wasn't solid anymore. By the time Jasper pulled back he was holding me up, my legs had given up the fight some time ago.

This boy knew how to kiss, and I never wanted him to stop.

"We don't want to be late." he whispered.

I pouted at him "You're being very responsible this week." I accused.

He grinned at me "Well if you want to stay home today you'll hear no complaints from me."

"No we should go to school." I said sounding very unenthusiastic, but I didn't want to start ditching in the first week.

His lips found mine again. "We could always take a drive at lunch." he suggested smirking at me.

That was very tempting but it was unlikely we'd make it back for afternoon classes and I didn't dare risk it with Emmett picking me up today.

Over the week we'd been back Bella had become very subdued, day by day I could see her slowly turning into, well me. She was quiet at school and her wardrobe now consisted of loose fitting pants and baggy sweaters.

I didn't know what to say or do to make her feel better. Three years I'd gone through the ridicule, the name calling, the humiliation and I had no idea what to do to make it better for someone else. The only thing I could do was get her out of there as fast a humanly possible when someone did start on her.

"You just have to learn to ignore it." I said as we stood in the car park. She was waiting for Edward and I was waiting for Emmett.

She rolled her eyes "Yeah cause it's that easy."

"I didn't say it was easy but it is the best thing to do, they'll get bored and move on to something else."

"Like they did with you?" she snapped.

I sighed softly, there was no point trying to talk to her at this moment in time.

"Well look what we have here."

I rolled my eyes as Jessica's voice drifted towards us. Ignoring her I looked over at Bella who was staring at the ground as though wishing it would open and swallow her.

"Edward will be here soon." I told her.

"Or daddy, as he should be referred to now." Mike laughed.

I grabbed Bella's arm ready to lead her back inside when Edward finally showed up.

"Oh here he is now, the daddy!"

"Shut up Mike." Edward mumbled.

"Why are you hanging out with McCarty anyway Bella?" Jessica asked "I mean how helpful can she be, she still thinks babies are delivered by the stork!"

The roar of Emmett's jeep told me things were about to get interesting.

"You're fucking kidding me!" Emmett's voice broke through the next few taunts "You people just don't take a hint." he growled striding over.

Mike and the others stepped back in fear but Lauren seemed unaffected as Emmett came to stop by me glaring at her, Mike and Jessica

"So why aren't you having a go at Bella and Edward? I mean Bella's the one that sold Alice out to us." she smirked as Emmett's eyes snapped onto me before looking over at Bella.

"Besides." Lauren continued "Now her and lover boy are all over each other like dogs in heat we hardly get a chance to talk, do we Alice?"

Oh fuck!

Emmett's eyes were locked on me but I didn't dare look at his face.

"Car." he said leading me away without another word.

The drive home was silent, I didn't dare try to talk to him whilst he was concentrating on the road. As soon as we were through the door he turned to me.

"Explain." he said it so calmly it was unsettling.

Rosalie came downstairs frowning "What's happened?"

"Alice, tell me what that bitch meant about Bella." his voice was still scarily calm.

I took a shaky breath "When we were friends Bella couldn't deal with the bullying so she became friends with them instead." I said my eyes on the floor.

"Did she sell you out?"

I shrugged "Probably."

"Why didn't you tell me she was involved?"

I shrugged again "We were friends."

"Real friends don't turn their back on you when you need them Alice." he said sternly. "Well by the time you found out she wasn't involved." I mumbled realising how lame that sounded "She made a mistake Em.""Ok, what about the rest. I'm assuming Jasper is 'lover boy'." he growled and I looked up to see him tense in anger. He was taking very deep deliberate breaths and I was suddenly terrified for Jasper's safety.

_You have to tell him._

"She was just saying that to wind you up." The words were out before I could stop them "I mean, we hang out a lot but that's because we're friends."

He glared down at me before looking at Rosalie who shrugged "Is that all it is?"

_TELL HIM!_

"Yes." Again I spoke before I could process what I was saying. "We're just friends Em, I promise."

Emmett immediately relaxed "Ok. I'm sorry I got upset." he stepped forward wrapping me in his massive arms "I just got angry because I can't protect you if you don't tell me what's wrong, as your big brother it's my job to protect you. I love you squirt."

I screwed up my face fighting back the tears and buried my face in his chest.

Hiding mine and Jasper relationship was one thing but I had just flat out lied to my brother, the only family I had left, and I knew there was no going back from that.

* * *

**Don't be too hard on Alice she's made a mistake but no one is perfect.**

**Review, I'd really love to get up to 150 reviews. xx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight all recognisable characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer.**

**I made it to 150 reviews yay. So in thank you I give you the next chapter.**

**Ok so warnings there are Lemons ahoy in this chapter. Finally lol.**

* * *

**Chapter 24: Life's too short**

Jasper's pov

I am not the kind of guy to deny how much I love Alice. I do, I love her more than anything. But that didn't change the fact she could make me so mad at her sometimes.

Not for the first time I was seriously wishing Bella and Edward could just fuck off and deal with their own drama. Although it may be a bit unfair to blame this solely on them.

"You said you were going to tell him." I growled.

"I was but he was so angry after what Lauren said, and finding out about Bella being involved."

I shook my head "You could have told him."

"Stop shouting at me." she muttered.

"I'm not shouting at you." I contradicted myself completely by pretty much screaming that at her.

"I tried to tell him." she defended herself. "And anyway why do you care so much, you're the one he'll take it out on."

"I care because I can see how much it's killing you lying to your brother." I yelled no longer trying to stay calm "For fuck's sake Alice don't you fucking get it? You said you were going to tell him, I don't really care if you tell him or not but make up your fucking mind."

Tears pricked her eyes but she blinked fighting them back, stubbornly refusing to show weakness. That was all it took for the anger to drain out of me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled running a hand through my hair.

She stayed still for a second before taking a step towards me collapsing into my arms.

The truth was no matter how determined Alice had been to tell Emmett over the summer now we had slipped back into our old routine it didn't seem as important for him to know.

"I know I shouldn't lie to him." she told me later that night as we lay in bed, Alice's head was resting on my chest and I ran my fingers through her hair "I know it's wrong, but it's just so much easier this way."

I couldn't deny that, and I wouldn't force her to talk to him when I was so worried about how he could react.

What if he did start coming home over the week? Or set up some kind of surveillance in the house?

Ok so maybe that was a little extreme. But Emmett knowing was bound to have some impact on our relationship, and whilst I'd survived our separation over the summer it had mainly been down to my continuous mantra of 'it's only ten weeks'.

Was it really so wrong to give ourselves just one more year and then tell him before we went to college?

The nagging guilt beat away at the back of my mind like a continuous drum beat.

I pushed it back, it's not like we were doing anything illegal.

_This is a bad idea._

I refused to listen to my pessimistic thoughts, slipping one hand under Alice's top I smiled as she sighed happily.

"I'm so happy right now." she murmured "Is it so wrong to not want to wreck that?"

I shook my head pressing my lips to her hair.

Alice shifted to straddle my waist her arms wrapped around my neck her forehead resting against mine. My hands moved to her hips.

"You don't think less of me for this do you?"

I smiled softly "Mini I can hardly take the moral high ground here. I want you to be happy, whatever that takes."

Her lips lifted into a smile "You make me happy." she whispered her lips came to mine and I kissed her back hungrily pulling her hips down so she rocked against my erection causing some rather delightful friction.

She whimpered into my mouth her hands fisting my hair as our movements became more demanding.

For once that annoying little voice that usually told me to slow down was nowhere to be found.

My hands yanked at her shorts trying to get them off and Alice pulled back.

I couldn't contain my groan of disappointment as she climbed off me. My hands tightened around her hips trying to keep her in place but to no avail.

"Sorry. It just doesn't feel right somehow." she mumbled "Given what we were discussing earlier."

_I don't care_ _I just want you._

I nodded knowing my voice would give me away if I tried to say anything.

Alice snuggled back down beside me and my fingers ran distractedly up and down her back, my mind huffing at her moodily.

I'd warned her not to push me too far, and what does she do? Get's me all wound up just to say no. Again!

I didn't want to be a bastard to her but she really was pushing me over the edge. I somehow kept my calm, this was still new to Alice, she probably didn't realise what she was doing to me and despite the fact she had said she was ready to have sex that didn't mean she wouldn't still be nervous and hesitant.

I knew I had to be patient but my patience was being worn seriously thin. I didn't want to be a dick but it was hard not to be when she did stuff like that.

At school Bella and Edward still sat with us at lunch, both seemed to get the message that it wasn't my idea as I simply blanked them. I couldn't help it, I was protective of Alice and in my mind Bella was using her, taking advantage of her kind heart and I was not ok with that.

Of course I knew better than to bring it up with Alice, it would just cause a fight and I was desperately trying to reduce the number we had.

It seemed everything turned into a fight these days and I really hated it. I put it down to sexual frustration, but that was another subject I didn't dare bring up. Ever since our talk over summer all I wanted was to finally get to have sex with Alice, it had gotten to the point that even her hands couldn't satisfy me and it was fucking frustrating!

Letting things progress naturally with no planning wasn't working because Alice was perfectly happy in our old routine but if I brought it up we'd just fight.

Ok so maybe frustrated doesn't come close to describing it.

It was a Tuesday night and I was sprawled out on the sofa flipping mindlessly through the TV channels. Tuesday's were Alice's night volunteering at the hospital so I was bored out of my mind.

I'd done my homework and made dinner for myself, well ok it was just leftovers I heated up but hey I was making progress.

I was now stuck counting down the hours until Alice got back.

My phone rang, an unknown number on the screen and I frowned as I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Jasper." it was my mum "Erm, I need you to come to the hospital."

My blood seemed to freeze in my veins "What happened?" I asked in panic "Alice?"

"Calm down everything is fine. I just need you to come pick Alice up. Please stay calm." she said firmly obviously well aware I was having a breakdown on the other end of the phone.

"Mum what's happened?" I asked desperately.

"She's upset." she explained "There was an elderly lady she became attached to, Siobhan, and she passed away today. Alice can't drive in the state she's in so I need you to pick her up. Ok?"

Relief ran through me, nothing had actually happened to Alice. I calmed myself down knowing she'd need me to be strong for her.

"I'll be there ASAP." I hung up without waiting for a reply and grabbed my keys from the side.

I broke several speed limits driving over but come on it was an emergency. In my eyes at least.

My mum met me outside and led me to one of the benches where Alice was crying in Jacob Black's arms. I couldn't have cared less about that until he smirked at me over her head and I wanted to kill the sick bastard for actually enjoying her being in that state.

"Mini" I called softly crouching down next to her.

She hiccoughed a couple of times as her head snapped around to look at me, my heart broke at the look on her face. Without a second thought she threw herself at me and I had to put one hand behind me to steady myself. My other arm locked around her pulling her as close to me as physically possible.

The childish part of me wanted to give Jacob my own triumphant smirk but I didn't, this wasn't some kind of competition. I focussed my attention on Alice instead.

My t-shirt was already soaked with her tears.

"Shh, it's ok." I whispered soothingly not really sure what else to say "It's gonna be ok." I stood slowly pulling her up with me "Come on Mini lets get you home."

She shook her head gulping in air as she tried to calm down "I have to work."

I smiled softly "Alice I think they'll understand if you finish a bit early today."

She looked up at me for a second, she looked so lost my arms tightened and I would have given anything in that moment to just be able to take away all the pain she was feeing.

Her face crumbled and she broke down again.

"Come on." I bent down placing an arm behind her knees so I could scoop her up in my arms.

"Take care of her." my mum said in a slightly warning tone and I tried not to roll my eyes.

No I was just going to dump her at home then go out on the town!

Driving home was difficult seeing as how Alice refused to remove her arms from around my neck. I ended up having to drive with her on my lap which wasn't as easy as you'd think.

She was shaking when we got home so I wrapped her up in a blanket on the sofa and went to make her a hot chocolate.

The second I sat beside her she crawled onto my lap again. Tears still streamed down her face but the sobs had stopped racking her body.

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked softly she shook her head burying her face in my shoulder "Ok." I kissed the top of her head.

This was a lot harder than the time she'd broken down on me before. I loved her now and seeing her like this and not being able to help was killing me. All I could do was hold her tight as she cried.

"It never get's easier does it?" she said quietly after a while.

My hand ran up and down her back soothingly "What doesn't?"

"Losing someone." her voice caught and I pressed my lips to her hair again.

"I don't know." I admitted, I had no idea what it felt like to really lose someone.

Her arms loosened and she pushed herself up to look at me "Promise me you'll never leave me."

I bit my tongue as tears stung my eyes at how vulnerable she sounded. Taking her face between my hands I kept my eyes locked on hers "I promise Alice, I am never going to leave you."

She closed her eyes swallowing and I leant in to kiss her closed eyes then ran my lips down her wet cheeks before placing a single soft kiss on her lips.

She let out a soft sigh laying her head on my shoulder.

"I didn't even know her that well." she mumbled sounding tired "I mean I only met her a month ago."

"That doesn't mean you can't be upset that she's" I paused wondering how best to phrase this "Gone."

"I know." she sighed again "I suppose she's in a better place now."

I tried not to react to that I've never been overly religious and in truth I'd never thought much about the after life and what not. I wasn't sure what I believed. But Alice obviously had thought about it and probably needed some kind of belief to make her loss bearable.

"You know I always thought my parents were watching over me." she giggled a little "I kind of hope they haven't been paying too much attention these past few months. We've been putting on quite a show!"

I chuckled a little but still didn't know what to say. I just sat there quietly whilst Alice kept talking, getting it all out of her system.

"I think I scared your mum with how upset I got, but it was just, I don't know. Siobhan's the first person I've lost since mum and dad, I suppose it all just got too much."

"Well I know she's worried about you." I told her when she paused for breath "But don't worry about it she understands."

"Life's too short to worry." she whispered so quietly I only just caught it.

Sitting up she offered me a small smile and I was pleased to see some life had returned to her eyes.

Her eyes flickered over my face and her smile got a little bigger before she settled down beside me again, her head resting against my shoulder.

A few minutes later her breathing had evened out and I glanced down to find her sound asleep.

With a soft sigh I shifted carefully so I could stand up with her in my arms and carry her up to bed. Settling her down under the duvet I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Jasper." she sighed her lips curling to a smile and I felt mine move to mirror her.

What I wouldn't give to be able to protect her this easily, to just wrap her up and never let anything hurt her again. She was so sweet and kind hearted and life just kept kicking her down. It was so fucking unfair.

Suddenly all the fights, the disagreements, the sexual frustration, none of it mattered anymore.

I hadn't been lying, I would never leave her. I swore it again as I stared down at her sleeping peacefully. I would always be there for her trying to make her as happy as she deserved to be no matter what it took.

* * *

Alice's pov

Siobhan's death had been a massive shock, When Esme had told me I'd had no idea what to do. I'd just completely broken down.

Jasper was my hero, as usual, he had just been so perfect and understanding and I loved him so much.

I was actually surprised at how well I'd coped, after my breakdown on Tuesday I hadn't actually cried again. Esme had warned me not to get attached because she'd been worried about how upset I would get, but becoming attached to Siobhan had actually helped because I knew she'd been content with her life and in a way she had been ready for it to end.

I had tried to explain all that to Jasper but I don't think he understood too well, he kept watching me as though expecting me to start crying again but I don't think I will.

Siobhan wouldn't have wanted that she had lived a long and happy life and rather than grieving for her she would much rather have me use my energy to make my own life happy.

That's what it came down to, no one's life was perfect, but it could be happy.

Thursday night I lay in bed my arms around Jasper's neck as he placed soft kisses on my neck, moving his lips down to the top of my breasts and back up gently.

He sighed happily against me making me shiver as he carried on lovingly caressing my skin with his lips. My eyes fluttered closed as I just let myself feel.

The soft velvet of his lips in contrast to the odd rough scratch whenever his chin or jaw skimmed my skin, he needed a shave. The conflicting textures both felt good and both contributed to the level of moisture building along with the ache of need between my thighs.

He broke away to sit up and I opened my eyes to meet his, he smiled at me softly his eyes warm with love as he brought one hand up to cup my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

The ache between my legs seemed to grow, seeping into every part of my being.

Pushing myself up I took his face between my hands bringing his lips to mine in a searing kiss.

My hands tugged desperately trying to get his t-shirt up and he pulled back to look at me a slight crease of concern on his face. I brought one hand up pressing a finger to his lips before he could speak.

I didn't want him to speak, I wanted, no I needed him to love me.

His eyes flickered over my face before locking back on mine trying to figure out what I was doing.

"Jasper." I bit my lip wondering how to tell him, I didn't want him to think I was rushing, or doing this for some other reason. I had never been more certain of anything in my life. I'd been ready for this for months and I had no idea why I'd still been holding out.

He sat up further and I mourned the loss of him, shivering as the cool air brushed over me.

Taking the initiative I sat up and pulled my top off, Jasper's eyes roved over me and he took a deep breath to calm himself. I didn't want him to calm himself. I wanted him to lose himself in me.

Moving forward I knelt up beside him "Jazz." I whispered and even I could here the adoration and love in my voice.

Butterflies danced in my stomach as I looked into his darkened eyes, yes I was nervous I wouldn't deny that, but they were good nerves, if that makes sense.

Something seemed to snap in Jasper and his mouth was suddenly pressed to mine devouring me hungrily, desire sparked through me causing me to moan loudly into his mouth.

I lost my balance and fell back onto the bed, Jasper on top of me never breaking from my lips, my hands skimmed under his t-shirt and with a growl he sat up to rip it off before returning his lips to mine.

One of his hands wrapped around me pulling me up slightly so his other hand could find the clasp of my bra snapping it open easily.

Jasper broke from my lips to slowly peel the straps down my arms before flinging my bra off the bed his eyes never leaving my now exposed chest. I started to get a little self conscious as he continued to just stare at me and my arms moved automatically to try and cover myself only for Jasper to take my wrists and force them over my head, hovering back over me he kissed me deeply before moving his lips down my neck, as his mouth descended over one of my nipples I moaned loudly arching into him.

How could anything feel that good?

Having never revealed my breasts to him before this was new territory and Jasper took his time exploring it, I was incapable of doing anything but lying there moaning under him as he alternated between hand and mouth.

He pulled himself back up to kiss me again and I ran my nails softly down his chest and stomach loving the way his muscles twitched under my touch. Jasper's mouth became more demanding against mine and my hands came up to grip his shoulders, his bare chest was pressed to mine causing all kinds of new sensations to spark, all my nerve endings seemed to ignite with pleasure.

I had to break away to breath and Jasper's lips burnt a trail of fire down my body his hands tugging at my shorts, I lifted my hips to help him remove them brushing against his erection as I did causing him to let out a feral growl as he all but ripped my panties off.

My brain had melted to a pool of lust and desire as his hands ran up my legs his mouth came back to dominate mine. I didn't care he was being rough, I didn't care that it wasn't romantic, I didn't care about anything but all the things he was making me feel.

I wanted this, him, so much. My fingers gripped at his back and I whimpered trying to get closer to him, I had a single minded desire, I just needed him.

His body was pressed almost lush with mine, there was barely no space between us but it still wasn't enough. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once I couldn't keep up with everything he was making me feel but I still wanted more.

Through all of this I somehow managed to hang on to one conscious thought and when Jasper pulled back a little to move back to kiss me I decided to mention it.

"Jazz."

He pushed himself up further his dark blue eyes almost black.

I'm not going to ask you to stop, I almost said seeing the question in his eyes.

"Top draw." was all I managed pointing to my bedside cabinet. I'd have got it myself but Jasper had me sort of trapped, pinned to the bed.

His face creased with confusion as he opened the draw and riffled through it a little before understanding seemed to dawn and he pulled out the box of condoms I had. He looked back at me and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"I told you I always wanted my first time to be in my bed and I thought it best to be prepared just in case seeing as how I'm not on the pill, plus STD's and stuff, not that I'm saying you have an STD I just…" I trailed off as he smiled at me then sighed.

"Are you sure about this? cause if not we can stop now." he said again making to climb off me.

I whined in protest. "Don't you dare." I said grabbing his arms to keep him in place.

His eyes flickered back to the box in his hands.

"It's ok if we use one right?" I said feeling a bit stupid.

"Of course it's ok." he assured "I'm sorry I nearly forgot, my heads just so full of you right now." I saw his desire spark again as his eyes ran over me, he shook his head as though trying to clear it and sighed heavily "I'm sorry Alice, I should be making more of an effort here."

I reached one hand up to his face running my fingers over the lines that formed on his forehead.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

"This is your first time, I mean if you're sure about this. I should be making it perfect instead I'm acting like some sex starved maniac."

I giggled, he was so sweet and thoughtful and his concern just made me all the more certain. I loved him and I was sick of worrying and over thinking.

I paused, he wanted to make this perfect for me. "Jasper tell me you love me." I whispered.

He looked down at me my hand continued to caress his face.

"I love you Alice." he spoke softly but I could hear the sincerity of his words, I could see it in his eyes "I love you so much and I'm never going to stop."

I smiled happily blinking back the tears that stung my eyes.

"There you just made it perfect." I told him. Both my hands went to cup his face keeping his eyes locked on mine "Jazz we've been through enough now for you to know that if I'm not ready I'd have told you. I love you, I trust you." I bit my lip grinning at him "And I swear if you don't do something I'm going to spontaneously combust!"

He gave me his cocky smirk I loved so much before turning his attention to the packet in his hand. I used this time to get his boxers down and tease him a little by softly running one finger over his hard length. Giggling as he growled in frustration at the cellophane he seemed to be having difficulty removing.

He pushed me onto my back ripping open the foil square and rolled a condom on.

I was panting by now my fingers flexing as I tried to get a grip on him and pull him closer.

Moving back over me his eyes flickered over my face checking again for any sign I didn't want this, he would find none. Nerves yes, I was nervous now and part of me was wishing we hadn't taken a break to chat and he'd just fucked me earlier when we'd been kind of frantic, although I knew in the long run we both would have regretted that.

He needed to know I was certain or he'd just feel guilty later.

I felt him pressing against my entrance and shivered in anticipation as he leant in for a kiss.

I tensed as he pushed into me and his lips moved down to my neck sucking and nibbling, my hands went up to his shoulders pulling him closer, his body pressed to mine was comforting, he continued pushing forward and I bit my lip to stop whimpering in pain because fuck that hurt.

I could tell from how tense Jasper was that he was employing all his self control to go this slow.

A quiet whimper passed my lips and I felt him slow down, running his lips up to my ear.

"I'm sorry." he whispered he sounded almost in pain "I'm doing this a gently as I can."

I felt kind of bad making him feel guilty, it wasn't exactly his fault, but I couldn't help tensing as he pushed forward, my eyes closed tightly.

I was probably just making it worse and Jasper confirmed my suspicions "Angel try to relax." he grunted.

I tried I really did.

"Alice look at me. Open your eyes."

Hesitantly I did.

"I'm sorry." he murmured and I could see how much he hated hurting me.

I tried to smile.

"I can pull out." he offered and I shook my head firmly, I wasn't going to back out now.

"No, I knew it was going to hurt, but it gets better right?"

He smiled softly his lips pressing to mine "I'll make it so good for you I promise. Just trust me."

And I did, I trusted him completely.

He propped himself up on his forearm his other hand moving over me gently caressing me, his mouth went back to my neck getting me to relax and he started pushing forward again.

I kept my breathing even trying to focus on his mouth and hand rather than the burning between my legs. How much deeper could he go?

Finally he stopped and his body relaxed a bit as he let forth a moan.

Well at least he was enjoying it.

He stayed still letting me adjust to this intrusion his hand and lips still caressing me.

I winced a little as I released my death grip on Jasper's shoulders and flexed my stiff fingers.

It suddenly hit me then, I was no longer a virgin. Strangely I smiled.

Jasper gazed down at me and my smile widened.

"I'm ok." I assured before he could ask "You can, you know, start moving." my cheeks burned, had I really just said that?

He leant in to kiss me and I opened my mouth at his begging. His tongue gentle caressed mine as he began to move in me slowly, still giving me time to adjust, it still felt uncomfortable.

Jasper's moans were trapped between our mouths and I was relieved that, even though I wasn't doing anything, he was enjoying it.

I relaxed into him as he kept up a slow rhythm breaking from the kiss, as he pushed back in a little deeper, I let forth some sound, I'm not quite sure what it was. Jasper's lips trailed down my neck again and he started nibbling my collar bone.

The pleasure began to increase and my moans mingled with Jasper's.

His pace increased and he growled loudly as my nails dug into his back, I knew he liked that. Hesitantly I began to move my hips meeting his as he continued to steadily thrust into me.

I was a little worried when he sat up but his hands went to my hips encouraging my movement, from this new position he sped up thrusting into me harder, a equal mix of pleasure and pain made my head spin.

I kept my eyes on his face as his gaze dropped to where we were joined and I bit my lip but from the way his eyes sparked he seemed to like what he saw.

Guess it was a guy thing!

His fingers tightened around my hips pulling me down harder and my back arched with a whimper, a ball of tension building in my stomach. I wasn't ready for this to end yet. Lifting my arms I tried to reach Jasper, I wanted him on top of me again.

He smirked at me dipping his head to run his tongue up from my navel and I let out another loud moan as he reached my breasts swirling his tongue over my nipples, once again he took his time to explore the area I'd hidden from him for so long.

His movements became a little more desperate, he was close to his release. I knew it was unlikely I'd actually get an orgasm my first time but I didn't mind, my arms wrapped around Jasper so he was nearly crushing me, his heavy breathing ruffled my hair and I couldn't think of anything that would feel better than this

One of his hands slid down between us and I couldn't stop whimpering as his fingers circled my clit. The tension in my stomach was becoming unbearable and I knew I couldn't hold on for much longer.

He shifted slightly as he thrust back into me and my head fell back with a rather pathetic whimper as white light danced in front of my eyes, waves of pleasure broke over me.

"Alice." I heard Jasper moan before all his weight collapsed on me making it hard to breath, but I'd never felt so safe.

A small smile played around my lips and I moved my hands up to run my fingers through his hair, his head was resting on my chest and he was still inside me. I was starting to feel sore and was a little relieved when he sat up and pulled out.

Fuck that was going to hurt in the morning!

He disposed of the condom before lying down next to me his lips pressed to my forehead and I rested my head against his chest.

"I love you." I heard Jasper whisper and pressed a kiss to his chest before snuggling closer to him with a happy sigh.

He was so perfect, so loving. I wasn't sure what to say but in honesty neither of us really needed to say anything. His fingers drew lazy patterns soothingly on my back making me feel safe and loved.

Jasper had given me everything I could ask for, he'd been patient and caring and gentle and he'd even made sure I climaxed.

I just hoped I'd given him something back. I knew it always felt good for guys but still.

As soon as I thought that I started to feel nervous.

"Jasper?"

"Mmm." he sounded half asleep and he blinked down at me blearily.

I couldn't quite meet his eye as I chewed my lip "Was I…I mean…" I paused to take a breath "Was I ok?"

I felt my cheeks burn burying my head in his chest in embarrassment, I felt him place a kiss on my head.

"You were incredible." he murmured his lips still pressed to my hair "Are you ok?" his voice became worried.

I couldn't help smiling at him, he was so sweet "A little sore." I admitted "But I expected that. Otherwise I'm." I giggled "Happy, I'm really happy. I don't know how else to describe it." I beamed up at him "Thank you."

He chuckled placing a kiss on my forehead and down my cheeks "Trust me Alice it was my pleasure."

To my extreme embarrassment I yawned widely making him chuckle.

"Looks like I've worn you out." he teased kissing my gently, his arms wrapped around me pulling me against him "Sleep Mini." he whispered and I felt my eyes droop.

I tried to fight it, I never wanted this moment to end, but I couldn't. I snuggled closer to him, a fog of contentment surrounded me.

"Love you Jazz." I mumbled.

"I love you too Mini. Sweet dreams angel." I heard him whisper before sleep took me.

* * *

**Ok so that was for all you who've been gagging for this as much as poor old Mini and Jazz, hope it was ok.**

**Review while I go have a cigarette and recover. xx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: ****I have never owned Twilight, that privilege belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Ok well everyone seems pretty happy with the last chapter which was a huge relief. So its the morning after, hope you enjoy. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Save it for the morning after**

Alice's pov

The next morning I awoke in Jasper's arms my fingers tangled in his golden hair, a smile spread over my face as I lay there, memories of last night invading my mind.

I stretched a little and winced as my body protested, my muscles ached and there was a dull pain between my legs.

Seems I needed to get used to it.

That made me giggle.

"What's so funny?" Jasper mumbled drowsily.

I grinned up at him "Morning." I whispered wriggling closer to him.

"Morning Mini." he mumbled stretching beside me.

My stomach flopped, was he really not gonna say anything about last night?

He frowned a little as he looked down at me before a massive grin spread across his face, one hand came up to brush my hair, I squealed as he ripped the duvet off exposing us both.

He sighed happily "Now that is a nice view to wake up to." he smirked rolling on top of me his lips descended to my neck.

I melted into him until one of his hands found its way between my thighs.

"Jazz." I said pushing against his chest gently.

"You ok?" he asked his face creasing with concern.

I took his face between my hands and kissed him "Just a bit sore still but I'll be fine." I whispered and grinned again "It was worth it. I just don't think I can again yet."

"That's ok." he assured kissing me once before getting off me.

Rolling onto my stomach I looked over at him smiling as my eyes travelled down his chest, remembering what it felt like being pressed against it his hands caressing me as he thrust into me. I blinked hard, I am in no state to have a repeat performance yet. Not if I have any intention of walking today!

"You want breakfast?" I asked thinking it would be a good idea to get out of bed.

Jasper smiled over at me "That would be nice." he leant over to kiss me "I just need to use the bathroom then I'll be down ok."

I nodded checking him out shamelessly as he sat up and pulled on his boxers.

"Hey Mini." he said pausing at the door to look back at me.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

My whole body tingled "I know, I love you too."

Once he'd gone I pulled on some clean underwear and then grabbed the shorts I usually slept in and one of Jasper's shirts.

What can I say, I was his completely now.

I was in a naughty mood so decided to make double chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, not very nutritional I know but very yummy.

Jasper's arms wrapped around my waist and I giggled leaning back against his firm chest "Something smells good." he murmured against my neck.

I broke a small piece from one of the pancakes "Naughty but nice." I teased feeding it to him over my shoulder.

"Nice." he nibbled a little at my neck "But I wasn't talkin about the pancakes."

I spun around to face him my arms snaking around his neck "Neither was I." I purred pressing myself against him. I felt his fingers tense on my back and kissed up to his ear "Breakfasts ready." I whispered softly.

Jasper pulled back with a moan his hands sliding to my hips his eyes roving over me "You're killing me Mini." he groaned.

I just giggled and grabbed the two plates leading the way into the dinning room.

"So we going to school?" Jasper asked with a smirk as we sat down at the table to eat.

My eyes flickered to the clock and I saw what he was finding so amusing, it was nearly midday.

I bit my lip with a giggle "Maybe not today."

"We're going to get in trouble if we keep ditching." he didn't really seem to care much.

"Yeah." I agreed but I couldn't care today, nothing was going to ruin my blissfully happy mood.

We ate quickly in silence, I for one was ravenous.

"Come here." Jasper pulled me down to his lap as I moved to take his empty plate.

I tried not to wince as I straddled his lap but he noticed my discomfort and lifted me, sitting me on the table before him.

His hands ran over my thighs and he smirked "You need me to kiss it better?" he asked in an innocent tone.

I lay down with a giggle so I could lift my hips as he moved to pull my shorts down.

My eyes moved to the walls where my parents and brother smiled down at me.

"Er Jazz." I sat up before he could remove my panties "Could we possibly move this somewhere else?" I asked as my eyes flickered back to the photos.

He gave a chuckle "Yeah maybe that would be a good idea."

He passed me my shorts to pull back on his eyes looking around the room again a small frown appeared on his face.

"They'd have liked you." I said taking an educated guess at what he was thinking, his eyes came back to me "My parents, they would have liked you."

He smirked raising an eyebrow at me "I just deflowered their daughter, I'm guessing I'm not their favourite person right now."

I giggled wrapping my arms around his neck "They'd still have liked you, you wanna know why?" I asked grinning.

"Why?"

"Because you're sweet and thoughtful and I love you." I gave him a mock serious look "My opinion was very important to them."

"Arh aren't you sweet." he cooed pressing a kiss to my lips "I'll clean up." he insisted when I slipped off the table reaching for the plates "It's only fair, you cooked."

I was in too good a mood to argue with him, skipping into the lounge I leapt onto the sofa with a giggle of delight.

My eyes wandered around the room I felt strange, invincible almost, like I could do anything.

Chewing my lip thoughtfully my gaze landed on the guitar case propped up in the corner.

Dropping to the floor I crawled forward to open the case and pull out my guitar. Settling cross legged on the floor with it rested in my lap I took a deep breath keeping the tears back as I got used to its familiar weight.

Slowly I lifted my left hand arranging my fingers on the strings and gently strummed a single chord. The sound echoed loudly in my ears, my hands quickly dropped and my breathing picked up. I couldn't do it.

I was about to push the guitar away when I felt Jasper's arms around my waist as he settled on the floor behind me. Without saying a word he pulled me back against his chest and took my hands in his arranging them on the guitar he made me play another chord. He rearranged my fingers on the strings to play another and another.

My breathing eased out and Jasper's fingers became less forceful as he slowly let me take over playing, the tune slowly morphed into Boulevard of broken dreams by Greenday, the first song I'd taught myself to play and one I knew by heart.

Once I'd finished I carefully placed my guitar down and turned, sitting up on my knees, so I could wrap my arms around Jasper's neck.

I felt his fingers fist the back of my shirt pulling me closer. I buried my head in his neck breathing deep and taking in the smell that was safe an reassuring and just him.

"Thank you." I whispered my voice sounded thick like I had a bad cold. Jaspers arms tightened more.

I knew I was shaking slightly and I clung to Jasper like he was the only thing keeping me grounded, stopping me from breaking down.

His lips pressed to the side of my head "Your really good." he murmured.

For some reason that made me feel better, calmer. He didn't make a big deal out of it, he didn't say anything about me actually playing again. He understood.

I relaxed in his embrace and pulled back a little to shower kisses all over his face.

We spent the next few hours cuddling on the sofa laughing at some of the random stuff for sale on shopping channels.

Jasper had asked me at least fifty times if I was ok and it was starting to be less sweet and more annoying every time.

I shifted a little to get comfy.

"Are you ok?"

I rolled my eyes "No!" I stated finally having had enough.

Jasper sat up in alarm "Why what's wrong?"

"Some annoying person keeps talking whilst I'm trying to bask in my unbridled happiness!" I teased.

I shifted to straddle his hips, delighted by the lack of pain, and smiled.

"Jazz, I'm fine." I stated slowly "I have no regrets I promise and trust me if you weren't so well endowed we would have defiantly had sex again, unfortunately I need a little time to recover." I leant in to meet his lips putting everything I had into that kiss and felt him getting hard beneath me.

Regretfully I pulled back. Emmett would be home in a few hours, we really couldn't risk anything.

Unfortunately Jasper failed to get that memo!

* * *

Jasper's pov

Finally getting to make love to Alice did little to quench my untameable desire for her. If anything it made it stronger, and had it not resulted in Alice being unable to walk for several days I'd have quite happily spent the entirety of today acting out the complete karma sutra!

Everything about her was just indescribable, the way she looked, the way she felt, her scent, the little moans and whimpers she uttered.

When I'd first seen her in those skimpy shorts and my shirt it had taken a lot not to just rip them off her and take her there in the kitchen, but I knew I'd hurt her and I knew she needed time to recover.

I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty well hung and Alice is, well, tiny. Compatibility wise I probably wasn't the best person to take her virginity, but I was hardly going to pass up the chance!

I was so relieved she was still happy in the morning, I was a little worried she might regret it although she didn't seem to appreciate my concern and managed to get me seriously fucking horny with one hell of a kiss.

I teased her unceremoniously after that, she fought off my advances and I knew why she did.

I didn't dare actually start anything knowing Emmett would be home by 5o'clock, the fact was I didn't know where things could lead and the last thing I wanted was to fall asleep and Emmett discovering us. Although I was very tempted to just use my fingers to make her moan my name.

Alice kept blocking my hands every time they tried to find a way into her clothes.

I pouted as she smacked my hand away from the buttons of her shirt "Technically it's my shirt, I should be allowed to unbutton it if I want." I reasoned.

Needless to say that didn't work. I started to tickle her but had to stop with a groan as she wiggled in my lap. With a giggle she turned to straddle me again.

"You're a tease." I whined.

_Pathetic Whitlock._

Yeah you wont be complaining if it gets us some.

She bit her lip sexily and I moaned as one of her little hands slid into my boxers.

"I'm not a tease." she said contradicting herself completely by lightly running her fingers up and down my painfully hard dick "A tease doesn't follow through." she added making my eyes snap up to her face.

She sighed sadly "I know we can't have sex, for time reasons, but I could always hone my skills in other areas."

Oh fuck yes.

"I love this side of you." I sighed happily. It's always the quiet ones.

Both of us groaned in regret as the phone started ringing ruining the moment.

Alice made to climb off me but I grabbed her hips. "I am holding you to that." I warned.

She gave me one fucking sexy smirk as she got to her feet "Mouth or hand? I'll let you decide."

I gaped open mouthed as she skipped to answer the phone.

Had that just happened? Had she seriously just offered to blow me?

I had finally got to have sex with her and now she was offering to give me a blow job. Had I actually died at some point yesterday and just not realised it?

"Hey Emmett."

Her voice pulled me from the pornographic daydreams currently assaulting my brain.

"Yeah I'm fine, never been better." she grinned at me and I smirked back.

Hmmm, this could be fun. Revenge usually was.

Standing slowly I stalked towards her wrapping my arms around her waist from behind I slipped my hands under her shirt. She tried to squirm away from me but I kept tight hold. Rubbing up against her to let her know I still needed to be taken care of.

"No Em I haven't started dinner yet. Why?" her voice sounded a little shaky making me grin in triumph and lean down to run my lips over her neck. One of my hands moved higher to start kneading her breasts the other went lower slipping into her shorts and she once again tried to squirm away.

"Jasper." she hissed covering the phone speaker.

She whimpered as my fingers teased her "Sorry Em what was that?" I loved how breathless she sounded.

"Really why?" she trailed off moaning. "Nothing sorry, just something on TV." she elbowed me in the ribs as I chuckled.

"Ok…yeah I'll be fine…Em seriously it's fine." her voice went high pitched at the end and she covered the speaker again biting her lip and whimpering. "Jasper please." I withdrew my hand from her shorts but continued nibbling at her neck whilst massaging her breasts.

"I'll see you tomorrow Em…love you too."

I pulled back as I heard that.

"He's not coming home till tomorrow?" I asked with a smirk.

Result!

"I cannot believe you just did that!" she screeched at me.

"Sorry, it was kinda fun. Not to mention pay back for all your teasing." I shrugged.

Her eyes narrowed in anger.

"I'm sorry Mini." I said quickly trying to divert the rant she was about to unleash on me "I know it was stupid, but sometimes living dangerously can be fun."

She continued to glare at me so I let my head fall and shuffled my feet like a chastised child. "I wont do it again." I mumbled.

She giggled "You're so cute sometimes."

I glanced up at her carefully "You're not angry anymore?"

She rolled her eyes smiling at me "Like I can ever stay mad at you."

I grinned my arms snapping forward to grab her pulling her flush against my chest.

"Good because I do believe you promised me something."

"I did didn't I." she giggled "I have a better idea though."

She slipped out of my arms making me frown, what the hell could be better than finally getting a blow job off her?

"Erm, what are you doing?" I asked following her into the kitchen where she was pulling things out of the fridge.

"Making us something to eat." she stated.

"Yeah I can see that. I was just wondering why?"

If you want something in your mouth we can arrange that.

"Well Emmett's not going to be home until tomorrow morning now." she said.

Unfortunately my mind didn't seem to want to think about anything other than Alice's mouth around my dick so I was having trouble understanding what she was trying to tell me.

"Our time limit for tonight no longer exists." she explained realising I wasn't getting this.

Time limit?

Emmett would have been home in a few hours meaning we couldn't have sex again…oh.

Stupid Jasper!

My eyes snapped onto Alice "So we eat now then head upstairs?" I asked smirking as her cheeks flushed.

Serious result!

"You may want to make sure we have an alarm set for the morning." she said I nodded quickly not really paying attention just willing to agree to anything at this moment in time.

I pretty much inhaled the steaks she'd made in my rush to be upstairs and between her thighs again.

As soon as we were in her bedroom I pushed her against the door my mouth attacking hers as I pulled her shorts down.

"You have been teasing me all fucking day." I growled breaking form her lips to pull her shirt off as well.

Grabbing her ass I lifted her and lay her gently on the bed before pulling my t-shirt off and crawling up over her. I was going to make the most of tonight.

I leant in to kiss her only for her to turn her head so my lips landed on her cheek.

What the fuck?

"Jasper, can we talk for a sec?"

I bit my lips hard to stop the groan of irritation escaping.

This could not be happening. She couldn't have talked whilst we were eating?

I did a bad job of hiding my annoyance as I climbed off her flopping to the bed with an angry huff.

She rolled onto her side to look at me worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Talk about what?" I asked when she didn't speak.

"Well, about us." she said slowly "It's just over the summer I realised something and I guess after last night I think I need to talk to you about it."

Unease fell into the pit of my stomach, this did not sound good.

"Ever since we started getting physical." she began not meeting my eyes "That's kind of all we do."

I frowned but couldn't deny it, whenever I stayed over I was more than happy to spend my evenings playing with Alice, but she'd never really complained about it.

"I told you from the start I wanted our relationship to be about more than sex and recently it hasn't been."

"So you want us to what? Not have any type of sex for a while?" I asked in confusion.

Please don't say yes. That may actually kill me.

"No that's not what I mean Jazz."

I let out a rather loud sigh of relief that made her giggle.

"I just want to do other stuff as well, I mean when was the last time we went out?"

I saw where she was going with this, it had been a very long time since I had taken her out on a date. I suddenly felt bad.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I began to feel nervous wondering why this had suddenly come up now "Do you regret…"

"No Jazz." she cut me off before I could finish "I don't regret last night, I don't regret any of my time with you I promise. But I want us to do other stuff together as well, I don't want every night to be the same routine of coming home, doing homework then having sex you know. We need to make time for other things"

I nodded "Ok, that's fine, it has been a while since I took you out anywhere or we just watched a movie."

_Or went to bed without the intention of giving her an orgasm!_

I scowled, fine so I have a one track mind what do you expect I am still a teenager!

"Thanks Jazz." she mumbled.

I leant over to kiss her cheek before settling down in bed wrapping my arms around her.

She pulled herself over to kiss me "Jazz?"

I looked at her "Yep."

"I'm really glad that you understand how I'm feeling and agree but." her fingers ran up my chest "I was thinking that would be something we could work on next week." she grinned her hands wrapping around the waist band of my boxers.

I love my girl!

With a smirk I rolled onto my back pulling her with me so she straddled my waist.

She swallowed nervously so I bit back the clichés about riding a cowboy. Alice probably wouldn't appreciate that right now.

Her eyes met mine and I waited to see if she was ok with this, biting her lip she shifted a little to get more comfy and I grinned.

She was always so willing to trying new things.

* * *

**Review I love hearing what you think. xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: ****My name is not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I don't own Twilight.**

**Ok so updates are a bit random right now but so is my life so I will try to keep to at least one chapter a week but please don't hate me if that doesn't work out well. Anyway enjoy this latest chapter. xx**

* * *

**Chapter 26: Musings **

Jasper's pov

As per Alice's wishes we tried to make sure we went out at least once every week even if it was just a walk along the beach or grabbing a coffee at the local diner. Something that meant we weren't at home where temptation could get the better of us, well me.

It was slightly frustrating given the fact I'd have been more than happy to spend the rest of my life in bed with Alice, but she wanted more and I respected that.

I had wanted this to be different to my past relationships, I wanted it to be special and that meant making an effort.

We still had sex and messed around but the more time passed the more I realised I could be just as happy spending some nights just cuddling her like we used to.

I awoke early one morning in October and spent a few minutes just watching Alice sleep, one of her arms was tucked under her head and the other was resting on my chest. I drew a line down her bare back loving the feel of her soft skin under my fingers.

Something I had managed to convince her to do , even if we didn't do more than cuddle, was to sleep topless. In truth I'd have preferred her completely naked but I knew she wouldn't go for that, it had taken a lot to get to this point.

She stirred slightly as my fingers ran down her back again and I kissed her shoulders softly pulling her into consciousness.

"Morning Angel." I murmured.

"Morning." she sighed softly, her breath danced over my chest and I could feel myself getting hard.

She blinked sleepily and looked over to check the time she frowned before flopping back down and snuggling into me "Two hours before we have to get up." she mumbled.

"Hmm, what could we possibly do in bed for two hours?" I asked thoughtfully making her giggle.

"Sleep!" she suggested trying, and failing to keep a straight face.

I pouted at her "But I'm awake now, I can't go back to sleep."

She stretched out beside me and my eyes snapped to her chest as the duvet slid down.

"Didn't you used to go for a run in the mornings?" she asked.

"I still do at the weekends." I told her burying my head in her neck "But why would I want to get out of bed earlier than absolutely necessary when you're with me?"

Her giggle turned into a soft moan as my lips worked over her sensitive skin.

My stomach knotted as her fingers danced over it.

"You'll get fat." she teased.

Rolling I pinned her beneath me making her gasp "Well I can think of another workout I'd happily participate in to help keep me in shape." I smirked.

She shuddered delicately as my hands ran up her legs.

"What if people notice?" she asked quietly.

I tried hard not to laugh "Mini, it's not like you're gonna have a neon sign over your head saying my boyfriend fucked me good this morning!"

She shifted under me nervously.

"No one will know, no one cares." I mumbled trailing my lips down her chest.

She gave in to me although I did end up feeling guilty when we got to school and she was incredibly self conscious. The way she acted when she was with me sometimes made it hard to remember how insecure she still was around other people.

At school not much had changed in the past few weeks. Edward and Bella still hung out with us, I still wasn't happy about that and Alice still couldn't see why I had a problem with it.

It had gotten to the point I just let it go there was no point bringing it up with Alice and both Edward and Bella knew how I felt.

Even if Bella wasn't doing it intentionally she was still using Alice and I knew as time wore on Bella would keep taking advantage of her because Alice let her. It was a vicious circle that wouldn't end until Alice made a stand.

At lunch I looked over to where Bella was showing Alice her latest baby scans and I knew it was never going to happen, Alice would never turn her back on Bella.

I sighed sadly.

"You don't like them being friends do you?" Edward said as we walked to our next class.

I shrugged "It's not up to me."

"But if it was?" he pressed.

I sighed "Look I know that Bella needs a friend right now but she doesn't deserve Alice to be as understanding as she is. I know that's who Alice is but to me it feels like Bella is using her."

Edward bristled a little beside me.

"Hey your main concern is Bella, mine is Alice and I don't like her being taken advantage of. You and Bella have put her through so much, I don't want her to get hurt again." I snapped before he could say anything.

"Bella's not using her." Edward mumbled.

I rolled my eyes "Maybe not intentionally. Look Edward just forget it, like I said it isn't up to me."

Quickening my pace I left him behind.

I was trying to be understanding, I had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but I just couldn't anymore.

Part of me knew if they had any other choice they wouldn't be speaking to us.

They had each other, they had Edward's parents and , thanks to Alice, they had Bella's dad. It's not like I was leaving them drifting alone.

And sure Mike, Lauren, Jess and Tyler were still on at them but not on the same scale as how they'd treated Alice. They passed the odd bitchy comment but they weren't egging their cars or tripping them in the lunchroom or any of that evil vindictive shit.

"I was thinking of going shopping with Bella this weekend." Alice said as we drove home.

"Is Emmett ok with that?" I asked. I knew he wasn't thrilled with Alice for being so forgiving now he knew what Bella had done.

She shuffled a little nervously "Probably not." she sighed "But she really needs some decent maternity clothes, and some baby clothes." I saw the manic spark in her eye at the thought of shopping "They found out it's a girl, so they can start fixing the nursery. Bella's going to stay living with Edward because there's more room and…"

I zoned out chewing the inside of my cheek to stop saying something like 'I don't give a fuck' and upsetting her.

"Jasper?"

Uh oh she asked me something.

"Sorry what?" I glanced over to find her staring at her hands.

"I was just wondering whether you'd prefer a son or daughter."

The car skidded violently as I slammed the brakes somehow managing to pull onto the side of the road. Alice looked up at me with wide eyes.

Shit this couldn't be happening, this wasn't happening, we'd been careful, we'd always used a condom. She couldn't be…

"Your…." I couldn't bring myself to actually say it.

The worry left her face and she rolled her eyes "No Jasper, I'm not pregnant." she said softly.

My head fell back against the headrest as I let out the breath I hadn't even been aware I was holding "Don't fucking do that to me!" I gasped out trying to calm my racing heart.

"Sorry." she mumbled.

I took deep breaths trying to calm the fuck down.

We drove the rest of the way home in silence and I knew I'd upset her because when I pulled onto the drive she hopped out the car and headed straight inside without a backwards glance.

I followed her into the dinning room where she was getting set up to do her homework, she refused to look at me as I came in.

"Look I'm sorry but you say something like that, what am I meant to think?" I asked

She glared at me "Well maybe if you paid attention when I was talking to you you'd have a better idea about the context of a question." she snapped.

Touché Miss McCarty.

Sometimes I really hated how I was the only person she seemed to stand up to.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

The anger disappeared from her face and she looked down nervously.

"Do you never think about it? You know, having kids."

"Not really." I admitted "I'm 17 Mini, if I do have kids I don't plan on it being for quite a few years yet. Right now the thought of being that grown up, having that kind of responsibility is pretty scary."

She nodded slowly, her eyes flickered up to my face before dropping again. "Do you ever think about the future though?" she asked quietly.

With a sigh I sat down next to her "Do you?" I asked not really wanting to answer.

She nodded glancing at me again "Sometimes." she murmured "I think about getting married and having a family. I don't mean now, there's a lot I want to do before that, but I do think about it."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, relieved when she leant into me "Well I guess you're just more mature than me, I'm still not ready to be an adult." I joked.

She shook her head sitting up "I'm being stupid again." she mumbled making me smile.

"Why would you think that?" I asked kissing the side of her head.

"I'm worrying and over thinking things instead of taking the time to enjoy the here and now." she sighed and leant back into me "It just scares me, I mean what if we end up wanting different things?"

"We wont." I assured "I've promised you once and I'll do it a thousand times more if I have to. I am not leaving you Alice." I took her face between my hands so I could kiss her softly "The reason I don't worry about the future is because I know, no matter what, I'm gonna have you there with me."

"Yeah you will." she smiled shuffling closer to me.

"And I promise I'll always be there for you." I said before kissing her again.

She relaxed into me and I pulled back with a smile.

"So you wanna have kids huh?"

She smiled shyly and nodded.

"How many?" I asked curiously.

"Hundreds." she giggled. I raised an eyebrow at her and smirked.

"Well in that case." I murmured pulling her into my lap "I think we might need to practise a bit more."

She giggled happily running her fingers through my hair as my hands trailed over her thighs.

"Mini you really gotta start wearing skirts to school." I complained. Jeans are so much harder to remove.

"Maybe you just need to be more patient." she giggled.

"Patience is overrated." I said running my lips over her neck.

She was suddenly out of my arms and I stood as she pulled her jeans slowly down her legs.

"See that didn't take too long." she giggled as I scooped her up into my arms preparing to show her exactly how much I loved her.

Homework could most defiantly wait until later.

It was rather surprising me and Alice were doing so well at school considering we spent the least time possible on homework when I stayed over, although thinking about it on the whole thanks to my lack of social life at weekends I probably spent more time on homework now than I ever had before.

My mum was ridiculously happy when she saw my latest report card.

"Alice really has been a good influence on you." she said dragging me into a suffocating hug.

I heard a chuckle from behind me "Am I interrupting?" Carlisle asked.

I gave him a thankful smile as mum let go of me to head over and gush to him about my report card.

I frowned as I realised neither me or mum had let him into the house.

"Did I leave the door unlocked?" I asked making my mum freeze.

Carlisle glanced from her to me several times and my frown deepened.

"I er, gave Carlisle a key." my mum mumbled her back still to me.

"Oh. Ok." I didn't really know how to respond to that. I mean it's not like I really lived here anymore, it was my mums house and it's not like he'd actually moved in, he just had a key. "So what are you two up to today then?" I asked trying not to make this into a big deal.

"We were going out for the day, will you be ok?" my mum asked turning to face me with a cautious look on her face.

I smiled, things really must be getting serious if she'd stopped inviting me to go with them.

"Yeah I'll be fine, I've got some homework to do." and that's how I suddenly have a great report card. "You kids have fun." I teased heading into my room, pulling my laptop out of my bag I started it up.

"Can I come in?"

I looked up to find my mum hovering in the doorway.

"Sure."

She moved to sit on the edge of my bed her eyes on her hands as they twisted nervously in her lap.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'd given Carlisle a key." she mumbled.

I shook my head "Mum don't worry about it, it's not like I'm here all that much." as I reassured her I realised I actually was ok with this as long as him having a key was all it was. "Besides he hasn't actually moved in. Has he?"

"No he hasn't moved in. it's too soon for that yet." her voice trailed off at the end as she got lost in her thoughts "I'm trying so hard to take this slowly, to not rush in but I can't seem to help it, it just feels right." she suddenly burst out making me bite back a laugh.

Don't ask me how but at some point since our move to Forks me and my mum had become closer, it was no longer awkward to talk about her relationship with Carlisle and I was happy to talk to her about Alice. Now I wasn't living with her twentyfour seven we had almost become friends.

"So if it feels right go for it." I said "Trust your instincts."

She gave me a grateful smile that turned into a grin "Is that what you did with Alice?"

I shook my head with a laugh "Yeah maybe." I ran a hand through my hair thinking back and I sighed heavily "It feels right but at the same time it kind of scares me that I found her now, you know."

"How so?" my mum asked softly.

"We're 17." I said "There's still so much we have to do, I mean college for one, she wants us to go to separate schools. What if we change? What if we end up wanting different things? What if she wants to travel or something? How am I supposed to make this work?"

I let loose all my worries and insecurities, but I couldn't help it, they'd been niggling away at the back of my mind for months and ever since earlier this week when Alice brought up her thoughts about the future I'd been slightly freaking out.

I would always be there for Alice but what if she didn't want me to be? The fear that she would find someone else rose along with everything else and my breathing increased.

My mum sighed softly "You've really grown up these past few months." she said proudly.

I rolled my eyes making her laugh.

"Do you love Alice?"

I nodded slowly "Yes."

She stood to come and place a kiss on top of my head "Then stop worrying about the rest. Like you said you're only 17, you love Alice, she loves you. Things will work themselves out."

"That's a bit cliché." I pointed out.

"It's true though." she smiled smugly.

"Weren't you going out?" I grumbled, chuckling as her head snapped onto my alarm clock to check the time before she bolted out of my room.

I knew in a way my mum was right, I'd even said it to Alice, there was no point worrying about things you couldn't control but it was hard not to sometimes especially when I wasn't with Alice. Weekends weren't fun for me and the thought of having to spend longer away from her was terrifying.

As usual by Monday, when I got to see her again, I didn't even know why I'd been so worried.

When I'd gone to pick her up this morning she'd opened the door, a huge smile on her face and everything had been right in the world.

I was stood by my locker swapping some books over when she came skipping up to me happily "There's going to be a Halloween dance."

"Fun!" I muttered sarcastically.

"You Don't want to go?"

I scoffed "Not particularly." I looked down at her and smiled "I'd rather spend my time with you." I told her honestly.

She gave me a slightly forced smile, before I could question her about that the bell rang and we headed our separate ways to class.

All the girls were talking excitedly about the dance like it was going to be the highlight of their lives or something.

It's just a dance people!

School dances were always so dull, you always had some crappy band or DJ playing shit music and there was always some needless drama of a couple breaking up and sometimes, if you were lucky, there was a fight.

Me and Alice had ended up missing out on junior prom as well, it just wasn't our thing.

_No, it isn't your thing. _

I frowned at myself.

_Alice would have liked to go to prom, she only didn't because you're selfish. She obviously wants to go to the Halloween dance or she wouldn't have mentioned it. _

That was true, she wouldn't have said anything about it if she didn't want to go, and she did seem kind of put out by my lack of enthusiasm.

Later that night as I climbed into bed beside her my head was still running over things.

Alice was lying on her front her head resting on her hands. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was still awake.

I let my hand wander aimlessly over her bare back and smiled softly, I loved her being topless.

_Like I said selfish._

I frowned again in annoyance, I wasn't selfish.

_You want Alice to sleep topless so she does, you didn't want to go to prom you didn't go, you want pizza she orders pizza. You only really started getting physical because you're so fucking impatient._

Yeah but I do stuff for Alice too, don't I?

My fingers absentmindedly began drawing circles on her back and she sighed happily.

"Mini?"

She sat up slightly to look at me.

"Did you want to go to that Halloween dance?" I asked trying not to let my eyes drop to her breasts.

She shrugged "I don't mind." she mumbled.

I smiled softly "That means you wanna go."

She shrugged again "Yeah but you don't want to go, so it doesn't matter."

My stomach knotted with guilt.

I grabbed her hips making her jump and pulled her up to straddle my lap, her hands came to rest on my shoulders her eyes slightly wary.

"Do you want to go?" I asked again.

She chewed her lip "I don't have a date, you can't go to a formal dance with out a date."

Shaking my head I pressed my lips to hers, she was really making me work for this. "Mini will you come to the Halloween dance with me?" I asked feeling her lips turn up into a smile against mine.

"I'd love to." she giggled. Her arms slid around my neck and she hugged me tight, the feel of her bare chest against mine had me thinking things I really shouldn't be thinking right now.

"Great." I tried to sound enthusiastic "So what do I have to wear? It's not like a costume party is it?"

"Well it's a masquerade ball so the suit you wore to your dads wedding will be fine."

And there was me thinking I'd never have to wear that damn thing again!

She pulled back a little and smiled happily at me which made me feel better about this whole thing.

I was doing this for Alice.

"And what about a mask?" I really was trying to take an interest.

Alice giggled. "Well that will have to wait until I've brought my dress so we can co-ordinate." she'd got that manic glint in her eye again, one of the few things that could make me cower in fear. This meant shopping.

Alice grinned as though reading my thoughts "Don't worry I can sort all that out if you want." she kissed me "Thank you, I know you don't want to go."

I shrugged, no I didn't but if it made Alice this happy it was worth it and besides she did things for me.

"You don't particularly like being half naked." I murmured running my hands over her back.

She squirmed self consciously "Yeah but you like it." she said proving my point.

"Yeah I do." I said pushing her back a little so I could admire her but that just made her squirm again so I pulled her back against me "Look I love you and we have agreed to go out more so if you wanna go to this dance then we'll go."

She smiled in her happy way again and I couldn't stop leaning in to kiss her.

"You'd really do anything for me wouldn't you." she said her voice tinged with disbelief.

"Of course I will." I smiled at her reassuringly "I was kind of hoping you'd have realised that by now." I chuckled.

I may be selfish in some ways expecting Alice to do things I liked, and I may sometimes forget and take her for granted, I am only human after all, but I truly would do anything for her.

She giggled wriggling in my lap "So I need to thank you properly." she said with a smile making me shake my head.

"Something else you've yet to realise." I said softly rolling so she was lying beside me "You don't need to use sex as a way to thank me Alice." I kissed her nose "Just have fun at the dance and that will be thank you enough."

"Really?" she asked cautiously.

Nodding I pulled her closer to me wriggling down to get comfy "I love you."

She smiled softly and snuggled into my chest "Love you Jazz."

Kissing the top of her head I held her close as her breathing evened out and she fell asleep.

I shook my head with a dry chuckle, I had just turned down sex with my girlfriend. Mum was right I was growing up.

Well I guess it had to happen eventually!

* * *

**I just felt like delving into Jasper's head a bit, it's quite a scary place to be lol.**

**Leave me some love. xx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: ****This is a work of fiction that in no way intends to infringe on the rights of Twilight.**

**Ok, all that stressing about updates and I've managed to get this one out quite quickly.**

**I'm going to do a little self promotion now. I've just been informed that this story has been nominated for the Bring Me to Life Awards (Whoever nominated me gets a big hug)**

**It's in the category: The Military Man Award (best Japer story)**

**Check out the other nominations and vote at**

www(dot)bringmetolifeawards(dot)weebly(dot)com

**Anyway back to the story warning of Lemons again in the chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 27: I could have danced all night**

Alice's pov

I was really looking forward to the Halloween dance so I dragged Rosalie to Port Angeles at the weekend to try and find myself a dress.

"Red suits you." she said holding up a long red dress with a very low neckline.

I raised an eyebrow at her but she shrugged and added it to the pile she already had in her arms.

"I was looking for something a little different." Jasper had already seen me in a red dress. I picked up a white princess style dress "No." I decided putting it back, white wouldn't work against my skin tone.

"Dark blue. Or black." Rose suggested "If you go for black you can be more adventurous with the mask."

I pulled out a lime green and orange dress and wrinkled my nose "Who?" was all I could ask before putting the offensive item back.

"What colour is Jasper's suit?" Rosalie asked obviously trying to get some response from me.

"It's kind of dark grey, nearly black."

"So you two are going together? No one else asked you?"

"No, no one else asked me." I answered trying to keep my attention on the dresses. I knew Rosalie wasn't an idiot so I always tried to avoid this subject with her.

"Why didn't you come shopping with Bella?" she asked adding a green dress to the pile in her arms.

I sighed "Shopping isn't Bella's thing. Besides you have better taste and with her being pregnant she couldn't have lasted long on her feet." I reeled of the excuses never once thinking about the fact there were hundreds of ways around all of them.

"What masks should we wear?" I asked frowning, I'd never been to a masked ball before, actually I'd never been to any ball before. It was exciting going to my first formal dance with Jasper, another first he could have.

Rosalie shrugged "It depends. Like I said if you go for a plain black dress you can go overboard on the mask, get one with loads of feathers and stuff."

I grinned "Jasper will love that!"

Rosalie chuckled "Well yes, maybe you should go for a plainer one for Jasper, unless you want him to be a laughing stock for the rest of high school."

I giggled picturing Jasper in some over the top carnival mask complete with bird feathers.

"Let's get the dress sorted first, then we can co-ordinate." she said shoving the pile of dresses at me.

I stumbled a little under the weight before heading to the dressing room.

I spent the next hour and a half trying dresses on, Rosalie kept disappearing and coming back with another arm full, I must have tried on every dress in the store!

It came down to a choice between three. One was red with a low cut neckline and a large slit up the skirt. It was nice but I wasn't sure if I'd be comfortable wearing it around a large group of people. Although Jasper would probably like it. The slit in the skirt came up to mid thigh and the neckline ended in a V just below my breasts, it was sexy but still classy.

"I just don't know." I said twirling around.

Rosalie nodded "Yeah I know what you mean, it's more something you'd wear for a date."

I glanced up in the mirror to find her watching me closely.

Yeah Rosalie was defiantly not an idiot.

"So the blue or black then." I said heading to change.

Rolling my eyes I banged my forehead on the side of the dressing room. Why couldn't I just be honest?

This wasn't me, this wasn't who I wanted to be and I hated how guilty I always felt around Emmett. The problem was the second I was with Jasper again everything was fine, the secrets all made sense.

I pulled on a deep blue dress, this one was strapless with a bodice top and a skirt that fell to my knees. It was similar to what I'd worn at his dads wedding and I liked it, but it was kind of safe.

Pulling it off I tried the black again, it was held up with thin straps with a square neck that actually made me look like I had good cleavage, the top was fitted and the skirt flowed to just above my knee.

"I think it's this one." I told Rosalie stepping out to show her.

She nodded her approval with a smile "Yeah I think that's the one. Now we just need to find a mask that works."

It turned out the dress shop also had a small selection of masks. I browsed the shelves not sure what to look for, luckily I had Rosalie to help me.

She picked out a black curved mask for me, trimmed with little silver roses. It fastened around my head with a silver ribbon that was ruffled up on the left side to add a bit more detail to it without being too outlandish.

"If you wear silver shoes it will look great." she assured.

She also found a squared off mask trimmed with silver grey braid for Jasper, it was pretty plain so he should be ok with it and it matched mine which was a huge bonus.

I was so excited that later that night I called Jasper to let him know I had everything sorted.

"I'm glad you managed to sort everything." he said.

"Yeah, I'm so excited now, I can't wait for Friday."

"So what are we doing?" he asked making me frown.

"We're talking on the phone." I said.

He chuckled "Yeah I got that, I mean what are we doing Friday? Do I have to get you a corsage? Are we getting ready together? What time am I allowed to keep you out till?"

"Oh. Well Emmett's not actually going to be home this weekend, so I don't think I'll have a curfew." I shuffled uncomfortably, I hadn't told him all this yet.

"How come?" Jasper asked.

"Well he's going to the college Halloween party, and he's coming home on the Wednesday so he needs to make sure he's up to date with his lectures and stuff so it's just easier for him to stay for one weekend." I mumbled.

"Oh, ok." he sounded ok with that "So I'm not going to see much of you next week." he sighed sadly "How will I cope."

I felt guilty having not told him this before "Well it's only for five days."

"Why is he coming back on the Wednesday?"

I chewed my lip "November fourth will be three years." I mumbled.

"Three years?" he sounded confused.

I took a deep breath "Yeah three years since our parents…" I trailed off.

"Oh." he finally got what I had been very badly explaining "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't know."

"That's ok." I assured wiping away the few tears that had fallen. "Jazz on Friday." I began hesitantly.

"Yeah?" he pressed.

"I would kind of like you to pick me up." I bit my lip "I know it's silly…" he cut me off.

"That's not silly. I can get ready at my mums then come round. Like a proper date."

I giggled happily "Yeah I'd like that. You don't have to bother with a corsage though, I think they're mainly given at prom."

"You looking forward to it?"

"Yeah I am." I admitted "I'm looking forward to dancing with you, seeing as how we never got a chance to before."

Jasper laughed "Yeah there's a good reason for that. I can't dance."

I shook my head laughing at him "Jazz I'm not expecting you to lead me around in a Viennese Waltz. You can sway surely."

He grumbled "Yeah I guess."

"Look on the brightside, you get me in a dress again." I teased him smiling as he moaned down the phone.

"In that case it's a good thing I'm getting ready at my mums or we'd never make the dance." he said "God Mini I miss you."

I bit my lip smiling as my toes curled, it had been over six months since he'd first told me he loved me but it still made me tingle all over when he said things like that.

"I'm right here." I giggled.

"Not the same." he whined "Do you still sleep topless when I'm not there?" he suddenly asked.

I frowned but answered him "No I don't."

"Shame." he mumbled "So what are you wearing at the moment?" his tone was a bit too innocent.

"Jasper we are not having phone sex!" I hissed.

"Why not?" he asked "You send me sexy texts."

"That's different." I defended.

"Come on Mini please. Give me something to work with." he chuckled.

"Jasper I can't." I mumbled shuffling nervously.

"Ok. I'm sorry." he sighed "I'm just horny and I miss you."

"You're always horny." I accused but I was smiling again, he always felt so guilty when he upset me, even when it was me being silly and overreacting.

"That's true." he chuckled "But I blame that entirely on you."

"Why? Don't I put out enough?" I teased.

"That's not what I meant." he said quickly obviously not realising I'd been joking "What I mean is I only have to think of you and it turns me on. I could spend the rest of my life between your thighs and die a very, very happy man."

I would have never believed I'd ever be comfortable hearing someone say that to me but with Jasper it was kind of nice.

"Well on Monday night I'll have to make it up to you." I grinned.

"Alice." Emmett yelled up the stairs making me jump "You ready to go?"

"I gotta go, we're going out for dinner tonight." I said glad I'd gotten ready before calling Jasper.

"Ok, have fun."

"I will, love you Jazz." I blew a kiss down the phone, then felt really stupid for doing it.

Jasper chuckled "Even when I'm not with you I get kisses, that's why I love you Mini. See you Monday."

I sighed happily as I hung up, I really loved that boy.

I was so excited by Friday it wasn't even funny. Jasper dropped me home after school with a promise he'd be back to pick me up just before 8.

The dance began at 8 and was meant to go on until midnight, I knew we wouldn't stay that long. Even if we only stayed an hour I'd be happy, I knew Jasper didn't really want to go.

I made a big effort to look nice for him, I'd let my hair grow out a little so I could curl it. Carefully tying the ribbon of my mask around my head I took a good look at myself in the mirror.

I looked good. Better even than I had at his dads wedding.

Someone knocked on the door and butterflies erupted in my stomach. With a deep breath I headed downstairs.

Jasper's smile fell as he took a look at me and his mouth dropped open "Oh wow." he mumbled.

My eyes wandered over him, I'd forgotten how good he looked in a suit.

"You ready to go?" I asked frowning when he shook his head.

"No, I want to stay here all night making love to you." he said his eyes wandering over me again.

I smiled shyly, thrilling on the inside that I'd gotten such a reaction from him.

"Well take me to the dance and you might get lucky." I teased stepping outside and closing the door to stop me giving in to him.

"Such hard work." he said grinning at me.

"But worth it" I giggled linking my arm through his.

"Defiantly worth it." I heard Jasper mumble as he led me to his car "You look absolutely incredible by the way." he told me opening the door for me.

"Thanks Jazz." I mumbled shyly.

We drove to school mostly in silence passing the odd comment about how bad the DJ would be and just how slutty Lauren's dress would be.

I swallowed thickly as Jasper pulled onto the car park. I was fine dressing up nicely for Jasper but I was nervous what other people would think.

"You look gorgeous, and if anyone says otherwise they're either very stupid or blind." Jasper assured as he pulled his mask on "You ready for this?" he grinned over at me.

"Yes. Yes I am." I said as confidently as I could.

"Wait there." Jasper ordered as I made to get out of the car. My frown of confusion turned into a smile as he hopped out and raced around the car to open my door. "Milady." he said offering me his hand.

"Why thank you kind sir." I giggled taking his hand so he could help me out the car.

He linked my arm through his and lead me towards the gym where the dance was taking place. Other couples and groups of friends were already milling around.

"I bet they have little plastic bats hanging from the ceiling and pumpkins and spiders webs." Jasper was saying "Oh and the DJ will play Thriller."

I laughed at him "Well it is a Halloween dance." I reminded him.

"Why did I agree to this?" he whined.

I just giggled "Because you love me and if you're good you may get a reward later."

He nodded thoughtfully "Yep that would pretty much do it."

Music was already playing as we made our way inside, Jasper chuckled and I followed his gaze to where Lauren was stood flirting with the DJ. Wearing a short tight dress with a neckline that nearly dipped to her stomach.

"Do you think I should go tell her part of her dress is missing?" he asked making me laugh. I'm not normally a mean person but I could easily make an exception for Lauren.

We stood off to the side of the dance floor watching people dance and looking around at the decorations.

"Oh look pumpkins!" Jasper joked. I just shook my head at him.

"Yes it's very predictable and silly." I said "But it's a high school dance, what else would you expect."

He just shrugged his eyes wandering around the rest of the hall.

"So, are you going to ask me to dance?" I asked shuffling nervously.

Leaning down he placed a kiss on my cheek "It's a good thing I love you." he teased taking my hand and leading me onto the dance floor where he pulled me close, luckily it was a slow song, my arms wrapped around his neck whilst his were around my waist and we just swayed to the music.

"I hope you know I feel like an idiot." Jasper said after a while.

I took a step back cocking my head to the side to look at him and nodded "Yeah you look like an idiot."

"You!" he growled making me squeal as his arms locked around my waist pulling me against him "That's not very nice." he murmured in my ear.

I couldn't keep the grin off my face, nothing else in the world mattered at this moment in time other than me and Jasper. The hall was filled with people but it's like I couldn't see them. The only thing that existed in my world was him.

We both laughed as Thriller came on and I tried, to no avail, to teach him the dance.

Despite his moaning I knew Jasper was having fun because when Edward and Bella came to talk to us when we took a break from dancing he actually registered them rather than blanking them like he normally did.

"I love your masks." I said. Bella's was plain white shaped like a butterfly whilst Edwards was black and shaped like a bat. "Simple but affective." I mused.

"Your hair looks different." Bella said frowning at my head.

I nodded "Yeah it's curled, I let it grow out a bit so I could try something different."

"I think it looked better short." she said.

Jasper's smile fell slightly but I just shrugged.

"Yeah I'll probably cut it again soon, it's just hard to change your look when it's short, there's only so much you can do with it."

"I think it looks great." Jasper spoke up and I smiled at him. He'd probably say I looked good if I was bald or something but I appreciated it all the same.

His eyes wandered around the room and he frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern.

He looked down and smiled "You're making a lot of girlfriends jealous." he commented lightly. I frowned before realising what he meant and my face heated up, I took an instinctive step towards Jasper for security.

His arms wrapped around me protectively "Well as much as I hate it, it is about time people realised how stunningly gorgeous you are."

"Jazz." I mumbled trying to almost disappear into him, I wasn't used to people noticing me like this.

"What? I told you, you look gorgeous people were bound to notice." he grinned leaning in to kiss me and with that I forgot about everyone else. It was just me and Jasper again.

When he pulled back I noticed Bella staring at me with a jealous look on her face but she quickly changed it to a smile as I caught her eye. I shrugged it off, it can't have been easy for her being pregnant and all.

We chatted for a bit longer and things were going great but of course that was never going to last.

Even over the loud music and noise Lauren and Jessica's cackling still reached us.

Did they never take a break? Couldn't they just give us one day of peace?

"Hey Bella." Lauren came up to us "It's good to see you're not letting this pregnancy thing take over your life."

Bella smiled hesitantly not recognising that Lauren was usually more evil when she was being friendly.

"Getting a new job and everything." Lauren continued making Bella frown.

Here it comes. I stepped forward preparing to drag Bella away but it was too late.

"You know the mascot blimp of the school."

Bella's cheeks flamed and tears pricked her eyes as she self consciously smoothed her dress over her prominent baby bump.

"Look out people, wide load coming through!" Lauren laughed, although no one else seemed to.

I was breathing heavily in anger. Bella did not need this shit, she didn't need this added stress while she was pregnant.

"Shut up Lauren!" silence descended over the hall.

Lauren looked at me in shock and even I was a bit surprised I'd actually spoken up but I was on some kind of roll.

"You are such an evil, bitter, self centred bitch" I carried on "Just because your life is so meaningless and empty it doesn't give you the right to judge and belittle other people. What makes you so much better than us? You're just a pathetic little girl trying to make yourself look bigger than you are."

I stood there glaring at her my hands balled into fists.

Everyone was gaping at me until someone started to clap slowly, like they did in the movies, and everyone started to join in.

Lauren's face flushed and I felt a sense of vindictive satisfaction, now she knew how it felt.

She turned to try and find Jess for support but she had conveniently disappeared, with nowhere else to turn to all she could do was turn and flee.

I felt Jasper's arms snake around my waist and he chuckled softly "Oh sure you can't stand up for yourself but you'll stand up for someone else."

I let out a giggle as I turned to face him feeling strangely giddy and empowered. "I can too stand up for myself!"

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow and I grabbed the front of his jacket pulling his body flush against mine.

"And from now on I'm in charge!" I grinned giggling as I felt the effect those words had on him.

Glancing around I frowned when I noticed Bella and Edward had disappeared. I suppose she had chosen to get out of there while attention was on Lauren.

"You had enough dancing?" Jasper asked bringing my attention back to him.

I smiled shaking my head I was having way too much fun to stop now "Nope." I sang popping the 'p', dragging him back onto the dance floor I made sure to stand close to him to both hide and tease his erection I could feel against my stomach.

* * *

Jasper's pov

She was driving me absolutely crazy, and I knew I wasn't the only one.

Eric Yorkie was practically drooling down his shirt and earlier I'd even noticed Tyler checking her out.

But here she was dancing with me, in my arms, my girl.

I smiled to myself as I spun her out and then back to me, her hands palm down on my chest as she swayed her hips our close proximity causing her to rub against the erection that had been present since I'd first laid eyes on her.

Her eyes shone with life and happiness and I knew she was riding some kind of high after finally standing up to Lauren. Not that I could blame her it must have felt pretty good to show up the person who'd made your life miserable for years.

"Can we go home yet?" I asked in a strained voice as she dipped low rubbing against me on her way back up.

If this is what she had to offer we would be going dancing every fucking night!

She giggled "I suppose I would like to get you all to myself." she said stretching up so she could whisper in my ear "I have lots of plans for you tonight."

I let out a moan my hands closed around her hips.

"We should defiantly leave before I take you in the middle of the dance floor." I groaned making her giggle again.

The drive back was a bit of a blur. As soon as we were through the door I pushed Alice against the wall, her breath was coming in sharp pants as I slowly reached up to untie the ribbon and pulled her mask off letting my fingers run softly down her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered.

"You look so beautiful." I whispered.

Her lips curled up into a smile "Upstairs. Now." she said breathlessly pointing to the stairs.

"Yes ma'am." I almost saluted her but I just scooped her up in my arms making her squeal and carried her up to her bedroom.

I lay her on the bed hovering over her only for her to roll us so I was on my back.

"I'm in charge remember." she giggled with a smile.

I just nodded happy to sit back and let her do whatever the hell she wanted to me.

Standing she grinned at me "Stay!" she ordered.

Chuckling I pulled myself up so I was sitting, leaning back against the headboard and just watched as she carefully undid her dress. My mouth dropped as fabric fell to the floor at her feet revealing the black lace lingerie I'd brought for her birthday.

Even my teenage imagination couldn't have pictured just how good she looked.

She started chewing her bottom lip a good indicator nerves had made an appearance.

Coming back to the bed she pulled off my shoes and socks before reaching up to unbutton my pants. Not really caring if its what she wanted I quickly removed my jacket and tie. She pulled my pants down and I ripped my shirt over my head, I didn't have fucking time for buttons!

I was now down to my boxers and Alice's burst of confidence seemed to be coming to an end as she took a deep breath and pulled my boxers off.

I swear I stopped breathing when all of a sudden her lips were working their way up the inside of my thigh.

Oh please tell me this is leading where I think it is. Please, please, please.

Alice giggled nervously as she settled between my legs and kissed her way down my hip bone.

She paused and it became hard to think of anything as her breath played over dick. I tried to focus my eyes on her and found her eyes on me, she bit her lip before sitting up and placing a kiss on my tip, my head fell back with a moan as her lips wrapped around my head.

There is a god and he's fucking smiling on me tonight!

I moaned loudly as she bobbed her head taking more of me into her hot mouth.

I half expected her to just bob, that's what most girls did if they were new to giving oral, but as she pulled back up her tongue swirled around my head and I unconsciously bucked my hips up to her.

"Fuck…..Alice…..fuck." I couldn't manage anything else as she took me back into her mouth and I felt her suck softly.

"Fuck." my hips bucked up again as she took me deeper.

One hand fisted the sheets tightly the other tangled in her hair trying not to just hold her still and fuck her mouth, I knew I had to let her do this her way. And fuck me it was a good way!

I knew I wouldn't last much longer. "Alice….." I gasped "Al…..I'm….gonna…" coherent words were still beyond me.

"Fuck…..Alice" I cried out as I exploded in her mouth. My orgasm overtook me and I didn't notice Alice pull back gagging, she fled from the bed and into her bathroom.

I tried to steady my breathing as I heard her throw up into the toilet.

Fuck.

Looking down I'd made quite a mess, Alice pulling back meant I'd cum everywhere.

The sheets were ruined so I used them to quickly clean up. Pulling my boxers back on I made my way to the bathroom where Alice was crouched down by the toilet, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled stepping towards her only to freeze as she shook her head pushing herself further against the wall. "Mini?"

"No" she chocked out "What's wrong with me?" she asked angrily, wiping her eyes roughly "What kind of person throws up after giving their boyfriend head?"

Crouching down so I was closer to her height I shuffled forward again.

"Someone who wasn't prepared for her boyfriend to just suddenly cum in their mouth." I said softly.

She rolled her eyes and let out a quiet sob.

"I'm sorry, I should have given you some warning." I said "But it did kind of take me by surprise."

"I guess I'm just not very good at it." she said hugging her knees tightly.

I shook my head with a smile "Trust me on this, if you were no good we wouldn't be having this conversation." Her eyes met mine hesitantly and I reached over to cup her cheek "If you were no good that wouldn't have happened quite so…unexpectedly."

I brushed her hair back "How are you feeling?"

"Stupid!" she muttered curling in on herself.

Her eyes went to the door leading back to her room and she stood quickly and moved passed me "I should change the sheets."

I sat down heavily on the floor letting my head fall back against the wall with a heavy sigh.

Well that hadn't gone quite the way I'd hoped.

Slowly I pulled myself up and headed out into the bedroom. Alice was smoothing out the clean sheets still dressed in nothing but her sexy underwear.

"Come here." I said softly pulling her into my arms. She tensed slightly but I ignored that, walking us over so I could sit on the bed and roll over so we lay side by side.

"I don't want you to be upset about this ok." I told her running a soothing hand over her back.

"Aren't you upset?" she asked quietly "I mean don't guys get kind of offended if you don't…you know, swallow?"

"Some guys probably do." I answered slowly "But honestly, I would never think less of anyone who didn't want to. I mean I have no idea what it's like to have in your mouth, and I have no intention of ever finding out." I added quickly with a shudder, I smiled a little when I heard her giggle "So I'm in no position to judge. Look Mini that's the first time you've ever performed oral and I didn't exactly give you much warning so it was bound to take you of guard. I'm not going to expect you to do it again if you don't want to."

"Do you want me to try again?" she asked slowly "I mean I know I can't be that good but…"

I cut her off "Alice I would like nothing more than to have your mouth around my dick ever opportunity I got, but it's your choice ok and enough with the 'I'm no good' shit, I've already told you you're fucking amazing."

She finally looked up at me "Really?"

I nodded, leaning in to kiss her forehead "Best blow job I've ever had." I told her honestly.

She relaxed a smile spreading over her face "Thanks Jazz."

"I'm just telling the truth."

She cuddled up to me and we lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"Why are they called that?" Alice asked all of a sudden.

I glanced down to find her frowning thoughtfully "What?"

"Well why are they called blow jobs? I mean you don't blow you sort of suck."

I couldn't help laughing at that "Mini I love you." I chuckled kissing her softly. Only Alice would ask something like that.

"Well why are they called that?"

I shook my head still chuckling "I don't know really, I guess 'suck job' just doesn't sound as good." that made her laugh.

"I would like to try again sometime." she mumbled softly.

I kissed the top of her head "Well you'll hear no complaints from me."

She pulled herself up to look at me and smiled "I nearly forgot, do you like the underwear?" she asked biting her lip slightly.

I chuckled again letting my hands run down to caress her ass through the thin lace of her panties.

"I love the underwear." I assured "You look even sexier than I imagined."

She giggled and rolled away onto her back "You wanna take it off?"

Sitting up I raised an eyebrow at her "I thought you were in charge?" I reminded her.

Her eyes dropped and she bit her lip "Yeah well that didn't work out so good."

"It's not that hard." I said "Just tell me what you want me to do." I shuffled closer to her.

"I don't know." she mumbled shuffling self consciously.

"Ok." I rolled so I was hovering over her "I guess I'm just gonna have to make this up as I go then." I teased, my fingers dancing up and down her side.

Leaning in I kissed her deeply, her hands came up to tangle in my hair and I ran my hand down to pull her panties off.

She whined in complaint as I pulled away but I just smirked lifting her slightly so I could remove her bra as well.

I leant in for another kiss only to dip my head at the last second to run my tongue over one of her nipples instead, she arched into me with a gasp her fingers tightened in my hair as my mouth continued to attack her chest and I slipped two fingers into her easily.

She moaned softly rocking her hips against my hand. It didn't take long for her walls to tighten around my fingers as she came hard her head fell back and she screamed my name.

I trailed my lips up her chest, sternum and neck as she regained her breath before capturing her mouth again.

"You wanna try something new?" I asked after she had calmed down.

She looked at me curiously "Like what?"

I smiled reassuringly "Well a new position."

Alice had been on top a few times but we usually had sex in missionary, which was fine but there was no harm in asking.

"I guess we could try." she said making me smile wider.

I kissed her again "Do you have any objection to trying doggie style?" I had to ask because I'd once been with a girl who got really offended when I'd suggested it and I didn't want to upset Alice, but I did find it seriously hot and had been dying to try it with her.

She chewed her lip nervously "No, that would be ok."

"I love you." I murmured showering kisses all over her face neck and chest before rolling us so she was on her front and getting her on her hands and knees. Removing my boxers I reached into her bedside cabinet to grab a condom.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." I told her running kisses up and down her spine.

Glancing at me over her shoulder she nodded. She looked so fucking hot right now.

My hands slid around to grope her breasts as my lips continued travelling over her back. Her head fell forward with a moan as one of my hands slid down to circle her clit.

I continued to tease her until she let out that sexy mewling sound and I couldn't wait any longer. Holding her steady I slowly slid into her stopping when I was fully sheathed to give her time to adjust.

I would never get tired of the feeling of being inside her.

She rocked back against me telling me she was ready and I started to create a steady rhythm, driven on by every moan and whimper she uttered.

Alice was so vocal and I loved it, she wasn't overly loud and fake like some girls who had obviously watched too many porn films, Each little noise she made was in response to the pleasure she was feeling, pleasure I was giving her.

"Jazz." she whimpered as I thrust back into her.

I frowned, this position wasn't as hot with Alice as I'd have thought because I was now confronted with a nearly unbearable need to kiss her and no way to really do it.

Pulling fully out I rolled her pulling her to me so I could crush my lips to hers. She moaned loudly into my mouth as I repositioned us so I was now sat up with Alice in my lap and slowly slid her back onto me.

This was a lot better.

I thrust me hips up into her and she broke our kiss to cry out, my lips started sucking on her neck. Her hands came to my shoulders using them for leverage so she could meet me thrust for thrust.

"Fuck Alice." I moaned out.

Her arms suddenly locked around my neck and she moaned loudly as her walls clamped down triggering my own climax.

I held her close to me twisting slightly so I could collapse backwards onto the bed panting heavily.

We stayed like that for a while as our breathing evened out before Alice climbed off me so I could dispose of the condom and pull on my boxers.

She was sat on the edge of the bed pulling on her panties and shorts. Crawling over to her I ran my lips over her shoulders, wrapping my arms around her waist I pulled her back against me making her giggle.

"You're amazing Mini." I murmured.

She wriggled around smiling happily "You're not so bad yourself."

"You ok?" she rolled her eyes playfully but I couldn't help asking just to make sure.

"Yeah Jazz I'm fine. That was hot!"

"Yeah it was." I said placing soft pecks against her lips.

"So what will we be trying next?" she asked making me chuckle.

"Your quite adventurous aren't you." I teased.

She wriggled shyly "No."

That just made me laugh more "Is there anything I could suggest that you wouldn't try at least once?" I asked.

She bit her lip "Probably not." she answered slowly before shrugging "It's not like I'd do this stuff with anyone." she pressed closer to me as though scared by the very idea of having sex with someone other than me "But I trust you Jazz, I know you'll never make me do anything I don't want to and your understanding and never force me into things and" she shrugged again glancing up at me "I'm still new to all this and I have to learn at some point right?"

I chuckled kissing her softly "That's true, and you are such a keen learner!" I joked.

She giggled "Yeah I do so love to learn."

I rolled on top of her again "Well in that case you up for another lesson?"

She bit her lip grinning up at me as my hands went to tug her shorts down.

* * *

**The next few chapters are going to be emotional so I thought I'd give them a bit of a break in this chapter. Let them have some fun, and obviously Alice finally standing up to Lauren. I know a lot of you will be upset she didn't hit her but it's Alice and I'm afraid she just wouldn't so something like that. **

**Review and let me know what you thought. xx**

**Once again don't forget to vote in the Bring me to life awards. xx**

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	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: ****I don not own Twilight all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Sorry it took so long I had issues with this chapter and a lot has been going on.**

**Warnings if you cried when Bambi's mum got shot you may need your tissues for this.**

* * *

**Chapter 28: Grief**

Alice's pov

For a week and a half I'd kept myself focussed on the Halloween dance, for the five days following that I'd been able to find other things to occupy my mind. Things that stopped me from dwelling on the fact that I was about to start a fourth year without my mum and dad.

Emmett arrived home on Wednesday afternoon but even then I couldn't quite bring myself to think about why he was here.

We spent the evening catching up on each others news and by the time we'd settled in the lounge to watch TV I had decided to bring up one of the issues I'd been focussing on that was fresh in my mind.

"Emmett?" I called quietly.

He grunted to let me know he was listening but continued to flip through the channels trying to find something to watch.

"Why do you freak out so much when I bring up boys?" I asked slowly knowing there was a good chance he might even overreact to that.

"You're my little sister." he said calmly like that explained everything.

I sighed softly "Yeah I know that but at some point I am gonna start dating and stuff."

He sat up quickly his eyes snapping onto mine.

"You see you totally freak out at the very idea of it." I accused angrily. How was I supposed to tell him the truth about Jasper when he acted like this?

"Alice you're 17."

"You were fooling around at 17." I reminded him.

His colour drained as though thinking about me 'fooling around' made him ill.

"I know but that was different." he finally said making me roll my eyes.

"How?" I asked in annoyance.

He sighed heavily running a hand over his face "You're just not ready for that Alice."

He refused to say any more on the matter leaving me very confused and a little upset.

I ended up cleaning the kitchen and heading for bed early, Emmett had found a slasher movie to keep him entertained and I was more than happy to avoid that not to mention I needed time to think about what he'd meant. Obviously I was ready for a relationship, I mean I'd been with Jasper for quite a while now and I'd been sensible and not rushed things and I was happy.

I hadn't let my naivety get me pressured into things, I'd made that mistake once and learnt from it, how was I not ready? I sighed softly it was just Emmett being overprotective.

When I got in to bed I tossed and turned for ages, I always did this when Jasper wasn't here, it was hard to relax without his arms wrapped around me or having the sound of his breathing lulling me to sleep. I was tempted to call him but decided against it, that would probably just make me miss him more.

I'm not sure how much time passed before I finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_I looked around disorientated, it was so dark I couldn't even see my hands in front of me._

_Where the hell was I?_

_"Hello?" I called nervously, a sense of loneliness nearly overwhelmed me._

_"Alice, baby."_

_My heart seemed to freeze for a split second before it exploded with joy._

_"Mum?" I called hesitantly moving forward blindly "Mum!" I called out more desperately when she didn't answer._

_"Honey it's ok." the deep voice was smooth and calm coming from behind me._

_"Daddy." I spun around but still couldn't see anything, it was too dark._

_A small sob broke loose. I was all alone._

_"It's ok Peanut we're right here." my dad spoke up again calmly._

_I rushed forward again towards his voice "Dad, mum."_

_Somebody screamed before a horrible screeching filled the air, like nails on a blackboard._

_Light suddenly blinded me, headlights, too close, too fast. I couldn't move. They just kept coming._

_I screamed throwing my hands up in an attempt to protect myself._

* * *

"Alice wake up!" Emmett yelled in my ear.

I bolted upright in bed shaking, my breath came in panicked gasps, tears streaming down my face, my whole body covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Shh, come on squirt it's ok, I'm here, you're ok." Emmett repeated over and over, his hand running up and down my back soothingly.

I blinked hard several times trying to shake off the ghosts of my dream that were still trying to claw me back to the darkness.

My room slowly came into focus bathed in the soft glow of my lamp and I took a deep breath to calm down.

Emmett let out a quiet sigh of relief as the shaking lessoned and my breathing started to even out. He ran his fingers through my hair placing a kiss on my forehead.

"They'd stopped." I chocked out pulling my knees up to my chest for comfort.

"You're alright now Alice." Em said softly. "Everything's going to be alright."

I just shook my head "The nightmares had stopped." I said again "They'd stopped Em." I insisted, as if saying it enough would somehow make it true.

They had been a regular occurrence but over the past year they had stopped.

"You're bound to have them now and again." his voice was still soft "Which one was it?" he asked.

I wiped my eyes "In the dark, I was all alone, I could hear them but…" I trailed off, Emmett would know. God knows I'd woken up screaming more than enough for him to be used to it "The headlights" I sobbed "It's because I should have been there too."

Emmett's armed tightened around me "No Alice. Don't start that again." his voice became sterner.

"If I'd done my homework as soon as I'd got in instead of leaving it." I carried on "I would have been able to go out with them. I would have…"

Emmett took my face between his hands as I trailed off again and forced me to look at him "What would I have done then huh? I would have had no one left Ali."

My fingers tensed gripping at his arms.

"Mum and dad would not have wanted that ok. They would want you to go on and go to college and get a good job and have your own family and be happy. And that is what you have got to do ok." he looked at me seriously "You have to keep going Alice and you have got to let go of this guilt because it was not your fault ok?"

I closed my eyes taking steady breaths and slowly nodded the old mantra repeating in my head.

It wasn't my fault, sometimes bad things happened, nothing I could have done would have changed anything.

"It hurts." I whimpered pathetically.

"I know it hurts but I need you to be strong for me ok. I cannot do this on my own, I need you."

I nodded slowly. Emmett was always so strong for me but I knew he needed me to be strong for him sometimes and I owed him that much at the very least.

The truth was I didn't want to have been in the car, I didn't want to be dead. I had so much to live for, I had my whole life ahead of me but sometimes it hurt to breath and I just wanted it to stop.

"I thought I was getting over it." I mumbled. Now I had calmed down a bit I felt sleepy.

Emmett helped me lie back down and tucked me in like I was little.

"I don't think we're ever going to get over it Ali." he said quietly kissing my forehead again "Try and get some sleep."

He turned the lamp off and headed back to his own room.

My eyes closed and I dozed fitfully for the rest of the night scared to fall asleep and leave myself vulnerable to the nightmares.

The next morning when I got up I felt like shit. I took a long hot shower before heading downstairs to find Emmett had already made breakfast.

It was just scrambled eggs and toast, I pushed it around aimlessly taking a couple of mouthfuls so as not to offend him. Most of it went in the bin as did most of Emmet's.

There was no real plan for the day, when we were both ready Em drove us to the beach. It was freezing and raining but we'd wrapped up warm.

I wasn't sure if it was the weather or not but I was sort of numb.

We stopped simultaneously as we reached the rocks at the far end of the beach, it had been from here that me and Emmett had cast our parents ashes to the wind so they could still go on all the adventures they'd never be able to have. Go to all the places they'd never get to see.

It sounded kind of silly but we hadn't liked the idea of keeping them in vases or burying them. It wasn't what they would have wanted.

The rain and sea spray stung my face, I could only tell I was crying because my tears were warmer, burning a trail down my cheeks.

I jumped a little as one of Emmett's hands grabbed hold of mine but squeezed back tightly giving him what little comfort I could.

We stayed quiet the whole time lost in our own thoughts. I tried to think about happy times but that just hurt more because I'd never have the opportunity to laugh and tease them again. No more water fights where my dad always cheated, no more campouts in the lounge with my mum trying to roast marshmallows over a candle.

After about half an hour we both turned to head back across the beach together still holding hands.

By the time we reached Emmett's jeep my teeth were chattering and my fingers and toes felt like they were about to drop off.

We still hadn't spoke by the time we'd got home, dried off and warmed up. I made us hot chocolates complete with marshmallows and we sat in the kitchen to drink them.

"They'd be proud of you." I finally spoke up, my voice sounded funny.

Emmett glanced over at me but didn't say anything.

"They'd be proud of you." I said again "Of everything you've done. You've kept it all together, you kept me together and you somehow managed to keep going with your education." I smiled over at him before my eyes fell to the mug I had clenched between my hands "You're so much stronger than me." I whispered.

One of his hands wrapped around my wrist his thumb ran soothingly over the back of my hand.

"I stayed strong because you needed me to be." he said his voice a little hoarse "The reason I came home, the reason I insisted on taking care of you was because I needed you Alice. The only reason I managed to hold everything together is because I had you to worry about. I know you don't believe it squirt but I need you just as much as you need me."

It felt strange being this honest with each other, usually we didn't talk about it but I think it had gotten to the point when we needed too. Keeping it all bottled up inside didn't help anyone.

My eyes locked onto Emmett's "You're not gonna leave me right?" I knew my voice wasn't going to hold steady for much longer but I had to get this out "Promise you wont leave me." I begged.

Emmett just sighed softly looking at me with pity. His hand tightened around my wrist but he didn't say anything.

"You know that's why I wanted you to stay in Seattle." I started talking again because I couldn't handle the silence "Driving there and back everyday" I shuddered "I was so scared something was going to happen to you. You were safer if you stayed."

Emmett sighed again softly "Alice," he began slowly "Mum and dad got killed in Forks, staying in Seattle all week doesn't really change the chances of something happening to me."

Tears started to fall again.

"I always make sure I take care though, I don't act stupid or reckless but sometimes bad things happen and there is no way to know, you can't predict what could happen in the future."

He stopped as I sucked in a shaky breath. I didn't want him to be logical, I wanted him to promise he'd always be there.

"Ali look at me."

Hesitantly I met his eyes.

"I will do whatever I can to ensure I am here to annoy you for the rest of my natural life, but if anything was to happen…"

I shook my head firmly completely unable to even think about that.

He sighed sadly "If I have any say in the matter I'm going nowhere." he said finally "Ok?"

I nodded quickly, I couldn't handle thinking about anything happening to Emmett, I wouldn't survive if I lost him too that I knew for certain.

"You are a lot stronger than you think you know." he spoke up softly after a while "Mum and dad would be proud of you too."

We lapsed back into silence again after that. The day seemed to be melting away in great big chunks and I wasn't sure how I felt.

After my parents had died I'd been given various leaflets on loss and grief but I'd never read any of them, in a slightly arrogant, self centred way I'd believed no one could have any idea how I'd felt so no one could help me. I'd dealt with it in my own way holding onto my grief as best I could until the allocated day to mourn them.

Today though it felt strange, wrong even to memorialise it.

Yes it hurt, yes I missed my parents, but I missed them everyday and I wasn't sure if every year I really wanted to be reminded of the worst day of my life.

Maybe I was making better progress than I'd thought, I was almost eager for tomorrow so I could get back to school, to normality, to Jasper.

I loved my mum and dad and I missed them but Emmett was right, they'd have wanted me to keep going, to be happy and live my life. As much as it hurt I knew that's what I had to do, I had to stop living from day to day and seriously consider what I wanted from my life.

Emmett ordered pizza and I ate like I'd been starved for three weeks. I didn't miss the slight smile on Em's face as I wolfed down my fourth slice of pizza.

"I'm going to school tomorrow." I told him between mouthfuls.

He seemed surprised but didn't question me "Ok, I got plenty of stuff to be doing around the house so it's good you wont be under my feet." he gave me his cheeky grin and I rolled my eyes.

I wasn't sure there was anything to do around the house but I could be wrong, I was pretty clueless when it came to DIY and things. Maybe Emmett just needed something to keep his mind busy.

I went to bed early again feeling exhausted and apprehensive. I may have made some progress through my grief but it still hurt and the slight breakthrough I had made meant nothing as I lay there in the dark trying desperately not to let my mind wander to this time three years ago.

Turns out I couldn't do it and even though I knew it was coming the memory still hit me with the force of a sledge hammer.

* * *

I was huffing as I made my way downstairs, annoyed by the interruption, I had been trying to get ready for bed.

"Do you ever remember to take keys…" my voice trailed off as I found Charlie stood on the porch in his uniform, the cruiser pulled up onto the drive.

My eyes widened as I looked up at him, his face was sad and his eyes held compassion as he looked at me.

"Alice" the tone of his voice told me this was very bad "There's been an accident" he kept it formal just giving me the facts "A drunk driver" only certain words seemed to register in my head, I couldn't quite put together what he was trying to tell me until he spoke the words that shattered my entire world "I'm sorry sweetie but your parents didn't make it, they were already dead when the ambulance arrived."

My body seemed to disappear, Charlie's arms shot forward to catch me as I collapsed.

Nothing made sense, nothing was real.

Faces, noises, voices. I just sat there stupidly as Charlie tried to get hold of Emmett and people talked about things I couldn't understand.

Time was wrong, it seemed to be crawling along too slowly only for a massive chunk to suddenly vanish.

The next thing I registered was the sun, it was morning and a female officer was trying to get me to eat or drink or do something other than stare blankly at the wall before me.

This wasn't real. I had managed to convince myself this was all just a horrible dream. I felt nothing, I had pinched myself and it didn't hurt so this had to be some nightmare and I'd wake up soon.

I had to.

I just sat waiting for the dream to end, the sound of my alarm would pull me back to life and then I'd hear my mum singing along to the radio as she got my breakfast ready.

Dad might even be there still, running late and complaining he couldn't find anything in this house.

Eventually I would wake up and I just sat quietly waiting for it to happen.

The door opened again and for once I looked up.

Emmett stood there, his eyes were red from crying and I had never seen him look so vulnerable, so lost, so small.

That was the moment I realised there was no waking up from this nightmare. Tears had blurred my vision and I'd let out one tiny sob before the damn broke.

* * *

I bit my tongue until I tasted blood to stop myself screaming again. My arms wrapped tight around myself and I curled up in the foetal position trying to muffle my sobs in the mattress.

All day I'd known it was coming, every year I had relived it. I could block the details from my mind for the rest of the year but this day it replayed like a home movie. Every detail exact like it had only happened yesterday.

Everything I'd come to terms with today meant nothing in this moment, all the promises I'd made to myself slipped away, I was right back down in the dark, at my lowest point, and I just didn't have the energy to fight back.

Emmett was wrong, I wasn't strong. I only kept going because I didn't know what else to do.

My room lit up with the glow from my phone, grateful for any distraction I reached across to grab it off my bedside cabinet and opened the message I'd received.

Even through my tears I smiled. It was from Jasper, obviously.

_Hey Mini sorry it's late, I hope this doesn't wake you but I needed you to know I love you. Jazz xxx_

Just like that I was out of the darkness again, he was always there for me when I needed him, even if he wasn't aware just how much I had needed him in that moment.

I sent him one back quickly.

_Thanks. You have no idea how much I needed that. I love you too Jazz, more than you could possibly know at this moment. xxxxx_

I had had a lot of shit happen to me in the past few years but I'd had some good things too, I had things to live for, I had a reason to keep going.

It still hurt and I knew it always would, I was still trying to cope with the enormity of my loss but I would be ok.

My nightmares were wrong, my own subconscious fears were unfounded because even in the darkness I wasn't alone, I had Emmett and I had Jasper.

Rolling over I hugged his pillow tightly taking a deep breath so I could smell him. And as imposable as I thought it would have been I actually fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Life was hard but if we didn't have the bad things we'd never fully appreciate the good and the truth was I still had a lot of good things.

* * *

**I did warn you it was going to get emotional.**

**I know it was a bit of a heavy chapter but I wanted to put a bit more about Alice's grief in to help explain things in future chapters.**

**Review. xx**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Twilight.**

**So I'm going to see Eclipse tonight and in my giddy, slightly pathetic, excitement I decided to give you a new chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 29: Some things never change**

Jasper's pov

Thursday at school past in a blur, for once my lack of friends didn't bother me because I was worrying about Alice and I was feeling very inadequate.

I had always seen myself as being pretty on the ball and in tune with the world but in truth I was very naïve. I had no idea how to deal with this situation, I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

I wanted to call Alice and see if she was alright but at the same time I had no idea what to say to her. Was calling the best thing or should I leave her alone for today?

By the time the final bell rang I had gone over everything at least twenty times and still had no idea what the fuck I was meant to do.

I arrived home to find Carlisle had decided to take me and mum out to dinner, the way he kept glancing at me I knew he was trying to distract me from moping and I was strangely grateful to him.

He took us to an Italian which was smooth because it was my mums favourite.

"You're not going to propose are you?" I said jokingly as we headed inside.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow "Would you be upset if I did?"

That completely threw me and I think Carlisle realised because he started backtracking desperately.

"It's a bit soon to be thinking of that of course."

"But?" I pressed. We'd stopped halfway to our table.

He shrugged uncomfortably "It's far too soon, and I understand Esme needs to take things slowly. She's been married, she has you to think about. In some ways she still isn't over your dad. There is a lot to consider before we even start thinking about marriage."

"But you want to." he frowned at me "Think about it, talk about it. Maybe suggest it." I smirked and Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"Yes I would love to marry your mum. Is that what you wanted to hear?" he grumbled before leading the way towards our table where my mum was waiting.

I chuckled as I followed him. I wasn't upset about that. My dad had remarried and I'd made the effort to accept that.

The big difference here, what made it easier, was Carlisle hadn't wrecked my parents marriage and was selfless enough to do what was best for my mum.

He made her happy, the way she was now reminded me of how she used to be, when I was little, happy and carefree, before she'd realised my dad wasn't as perfect as she'd believed.

I suppose that's why I could relate to her so well these days, we had more in common, we were both in a similar place.

Thankfully they seemed to remember I was there and kept the PDA to a minimum and even though I did have a better time than I would have stuck at home staring at my phone and worrying about Alice, I couldn't shake my concern completely and I was a bit restless.

"I'm glad Alice decided to stay on at the hospital after the summer." mum said.

My head snapped up and I was now one hundred percent focussed on the conversation.

I was pathetic like that now, the second I heard the name Alice I focussed in on it, half the time it wasn't even in response to my Alice.

Carlisle nodded his agreement. "She's a natural, the kids absolutely adore her."

I smiled, a sense of pride rising up hearing people praising her.

"I think I'm going to request for her to work permanently on the children's ward." Carlisle said taking a mouthful of pasta.

My mum shot me a quick glance before turning back to Carlisle "That may not be the best idea." she said slowly.

"Why?" I asked angrily. Alice loved working with the kids and Carlisle said she was great.

My mum gave me a small smile before explaining herself "You saw how badly she reacted to Siobhan's death Jasper, how do you think she'd deal with losing a child she got close to? The truth is we don't always have happy endings."

I couldn't argue with that and just as quickly as I'd been proud and impressed with Alice I was suddenly terrified of her getting hurt again.

"That's true." Carlisle sighed sadly "I'll talk to her about it on Tuesday, see what she thinks." he said before turning to me "Have you spoken to her today?"

The worry set in again "No. why do you think I should have?"

Carlisle shook his head calmly "No sorry, I just wondered if you had."

I shrugged "I thought it best if I gave her some space today." I really needed someone to tell me I was doing the right thing here.

My mum did just that "She probably wants to spend the day with her brother."

I relaxed a little, yes I was still worried but my mum was right, Emmett would look after Alice today, like he always did.

I couldn't go the whole day without at least trying to communicate with her however, and as I lay in bed later that night thinking about how much easier sleep came to me when I was next to Alice I decided to send her a message.

I looked at my phone typing and deleting several attempts. I didn't really want to ask how she was, partly, I'll admit, because I knew I wouldn't be prepared for the response. I didn't want it to sound too callous, like I didn't care what today meant to her and all I cared about was not getting to see her.

I rolled my eyes, god I was pathetic, stressing over a text message.

Just let her know that you're there for her.

In the end I went with.

_Hey Mini sorry it's late, I hope I don't wake you but I needed you to know I love you. Jazz xx._

I tried not to wait for a reply and failed miserably as I lay there staring at my phone waiting for the screen to light up telling me I had a message.

I'm not sure how long I lay waiting but my patience was rewarded as the screen lit up, the light blinding me a little but I forced my eyes to adjust to read what she'd sent.

_Thanks. You have no idea how much I needed that. I love you too Jazz more than you could possibly know at the moment. xxx_

I panicked for a second, maybe I should have checked on her earlier, but at the same time warmth spread through me. I hadn't messed up sending that message. Trusting my instincts again I left it there. I'd told her what I needed her to know.

I got a shock on Friday when I arrived at school to see Alice's car parked up in her traditional spot.

I hadn't expected to see her until Monday.

She climbed out as I made my way over and I tried to see what kind of mood she was in. she was smiling, not as widely as normal, but it was defiantly natural, not forced.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today." I told her honestly taking her face between my hands so I could place a soft kiss to her lips.

"I wasn't sure if I'd be in today but I felt ok this morning and I don't want to miss too many days as it's my senior year."

I nodded understandingly taking her hand, she paused for a second as though trying to decide whether or not to say more.

Staring at our joined hands she spoke quietly "It's easier being here with you than at home with so many reminders."

She kept her eyes down and I simply squeezed her hand and led her into the school.

She was quiet, but other than that she seemed fine. Either she really was ok or she had become a much better actress over night.

"I'm ok Jasper." she said at lunch. I had been watching her closely and I hadn't exactly been subtle about it.

"Sorry I'm just worried. I don't know what to expect." I admitted, Alice smiled softly.

"That's ok Jazz. Truthfully I don't know what to expect either." she looked down at her lunch picking at her bagel a little "I guess it's true, it does get easier with time. I was expecting to feel worse than I did. I'm not saying I didn't feel like shit yesterday because I did, but I guess as time passes it doesn't hurt for as long." she frowned "If that makes sense."

I shrugged "As long as it makes sense to you and you're ok."

She smiled at me before reaching over and stealing a fry giggling as I scowled at her.

"You said you didn't want any fries." I reminded her.

"I don't want fries." she said trying to keep a straight face "I wanted a fry."

I just shook my head in amusement, this is not the Alice I had expected to find even on Monday and I couldn't help wondering if I had any influence on how well she was coping. I wanted to believe I did because in honesty I felt useless and I wanted to believe I had helped even in a small way but at the same time I knew that was a bit arrogant.

"Hey Alice." Bella smiled as she came to sit with us.

I sighed softly focussing on my food as Edward sat down as well.

"Where were you yesterday?" Bella asked.

My head snapped up, was she serious?

Alice didn't seem fazed and I was seriously impressed when she just shrugged and said she wasn't feeling up to school getting the subject dropped.

She was still picking half heartedly at her bagel, rolling my eyes I deposited half my fires on her plate. She frowned at me questioningly.

"You've got to eat something." I insisted.

I doubted she had eaten much yesterday and I'd be happier if I knew she had eaten something.

"Thanks Jazz." she murmured smiling at me.

I didn't miss the look Bella shot Alice and scowled at her when she caught my eye. A silent warning not to let whatever she was thinking gain any momentum.

The weekend past slowly as usual and I noticed that, even though Carlisle hadn't moved in officially, he sure spent a lot of time at my mums house and I knew it was only a matter of time before he became a permanent feature here.

It felt weird to have him here all the time, like I couldn't turn around without him being there but I kept my mouth shut I had never believed I would see my mum this happy after dad had left and it was nice to know she had company when I wasn't around.

Come Monday however I couldn't wait to get out of there and back to Alice. All day all I could think about was getting back to her house after school and having her to myself again.

I tried to be patient, I knew there was a very good possibility she wouldn't be in the mood for sex tonight.

Fuck knows I was and I didn't end up finishing much of my homework because I was too busy fucking her with my eyes, every slight shift had me entranced as I let my mind wander thinking very dirty thoughts.

Turns out I'd been right, all she wanted that night was my arms around her tight. I tried to keep calm, it was understandable and it wasn't Alice's fault I had a one track mind and little Jay was having a hard time understanding why he couldn't have his own way.

The next morning I awoke with a very obvious case of morning wood which Alice was, surprisingly, happy to help me with. I have to say getting a blow job first thing in the morning put me in a very good mood for the rest of the day.

Alice was at the hospital after school but I was in high hopes, after this mornings performance, we'd have some fun when she got home.

I waited for her rather eagerly only to end up disappointed when my message alert went off.

I frowned angrily at the screen as I read Alice's message.

Bella had called her upset so Alice was going to go see her. She said she wouldn't be long.

I ended up falling asleep on the sofa waiting for her, she shook me awake when she finally got in. checking the clock it was nearly midnight.

"Sure, you wont be late!" I mumbled angrily.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I lost track of time." she muttered.

"That's ok." I sighed tiredly.

All my plans for tonight had gone out the window. I didn't have the energy to do more than crawl up the stairs and collapse into bed before I was asleep again.

Come Wednesday lunchtime I was starting to get suspicious of Bella. Call it what you will but she was really stating to piss me off!

"Alice, I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping after school?" she asked quietly "I was hoping you'd help me pick out some baby clothes."

Alice's whole face lit up in excitement and I resigned myself to yet another night without her.

The girls made their plans and I felt a slight twinge of annoyance that Alice didn't even check if that was ok.

I'm not overly possessive, I didn't want to be that guy who never let his girlfriend out of his sight. I wouldn't force her to stop spending time with her friends, but it would have been nice for her just to check I'd be ok.

I shook my head angrily, I was reading too much into this and I wasn't being fair, Alice deserved to have a girls night, I just wished it wasn't with Bella.

* * *

Alice's pov

"I'm glad we got to do this." I said smiling happily as me and Bella wandered around the children's section "This ones cute." I said picking out a dress with a small pink bunny on it.

"Yeah it is." Bella said sounding bored.

I put it back with a sigh "You're not really into this are you?"

She gave me a slightly guilty look and shook her head.

I shrugged "Well how much stuff do you need?"

"We've actually got quite a lot. Edward's mum's like a machine." she answered wincing slightly and rubbing her belly.

"Is she kicking?" I asked.

She nodded "She's a bit restless, I think it's because we've been walking around for so long."

I suggested a pit stop and we headed for a small diner to take a break and grab a drink.

"I'm sorry Alice, I know I suggested this but I'm just not in the mood anymore." Bella sighed after a while.

I shrugged "That's ok. You wanna head home?" I asked.

She shook her head "Not really, Ed's mum is driving me insane. Don't suppose you fancy getting a bite to eat, maybe a movie?" she looked up hopefully.

"Sure." I said, living at Edward's obviously wasn't as great as I'd thought "Is it really that bad?" I had to ask.

Bella nodded "Yeah, she's a bit of an 'I know best' person, everything I do is wrong. I'm not taking the right vitamins, I should eat healthier food, I need to rest more, I need to do a little gentle exercise each day." she shook her head "I know I need to take care of myself and the baby and I am, she just thinks she knows it all. I dread to think how she'll be after the birth."

"You know if you ever need a break you can come round." I offered "We could have a girls night or something."

She smiled at me "Thanks Alice you're the best."

We stayed in the diner to eat before heading to the movie theatre. Bella picked a film that was over two hours long meaning we didn't get back to Forks until after eleven.

I finally got home to find a very pissed off Jasper waiting for me.

"Where the hell have you been?" he yelled the second I was through he door.

I started back "You knew me and Bella were going shopping." I said desperately.

"I'm pretty sure the shops closed five hours ago Alice."

My eyes dropped "We went to see a movie after." I mumbled.

"And you couldn't just text me to let me know. I have been worried sick, can you not answer your phone."

I bit my lip guiltily. I hadn't checked my phone since we'd left Forks. Checking it now I found several missed calls and messages form Jasper.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

He shook his head "I know. I'm sorry too. Shit, I don't want to be like this Mini. I just, I thought something had happened to you."

My guilt increased as I thought about what I'd put him through. "I'm sorry." I said again taking a tentative step towards him.

"Come here." he held open his arms and I stepped closer so he could wrap them around me. Sighing he kissed the side of my head "Bedtime?" he asked with a small grin and I knew I was forgiven.

I nodded eagerly and headed upstairs, clambering into bed I settled down waiting for Jasper to join me once he'd finished in the bathroom.

The next thing I knew my alarm was blaring and it was morning.

I sat up a little disorientated and looked over to where Jasper was stirring next to me.

"What happened?" I asked stupidly.

"You fell asleep." he answered shuffling closer so he could kiss up my side.

"Jazz we have to get to school." I moaned softly as he reached the side of my breast.

He sighed against my skin and I tried to hold in my shiver of desire.

"Tonight." he mumbled continuing up until his chin was resting on my shoulder.

"Tonight." I promised him, eager to have his hands on me again and the feeling of him moving in me "Defiantly tonight."

He chuckled softly his fingers tangled in my hair so he could tilt my head and bring his lips to mine.

"Promise?" he asked between kisses.

"I promise." I whispered breathlessly. Had I not had to hand in several essays today I would have quite happily missed school, but, sadly, life didn't work that way.

My entire body seemed to hum with anticipation and I ended up zoning out of most of my lessons in favour of naughty daydreams and fantasies about tonight.

I finished my homework in record time and heated up pasta for dinner in a kind of frenzy.

"Do we have a deadline I don't know about? Or our you just on a go fast day?" Jasper teased.

I just smiled and shrugged "I just want to make sure everything is sorted so there are no interruptions later."

Jasper just shook his head following as I took the empty plates back to the kitchen.

"You know you could always leave the washing up until the morning." he said coming to stand directly behind me. I leant back instinctively against his firm chest.

"I could." I agreed softly.

His arms wrapped around my waist and his lips went to my neck, my head fell back to give him better access and I whimpered softly.

"Jasper." I murmured softly.

"Hmmm." he hummed against my neck "What do you want?" he asked huskily when I didn't respond.

"You." was all I managed to gasp out.

I'm not sure how we got upstairs but the second we were through my bedroom door I launched myself at Jasper my lips attacking his hungrily.

"Mini, slow down." he chuckled taking control of the kiss and calming it "We got all night." he murmured against my lips.

I calmed under his gentle caress, melting into him.

He pushed me onto my back our mouths still attached and I knew he intended on taking his time, how the hell he had the self control was beyond me but I just lay back making the most of it as he set to work loving me.

My phone suddenly started ringing. Jasper made to get up but I pulled him back down.

"Ignore it." I moaned "They can leave a message."

He smirked and happily complied, dipping his head to start nibbling on my neck and my eyes rolled back in pleasure until my phone rang again.

Jasper sighed angrily "Just answer it."

I wriggled up so I could reach it and answered without checking caller ID.

"Hello?" I knew I sounded annoyed , but in all fairness this was very bad timing.

"Alice." Bella sobbed down the phone and worry washed through me.

"B, what's wrong? What's happened?" I asked sitting up quickly and unintentionally forcing Jasper off me.

He gave me an annoyed look but I ignored him.

"Me and Edward, we had a fight."

"Where are you now?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm in the hope it would calm her down.

"In my car, I'm not sure exactly where. I just started driving."

"Ok well you have to calm down then drive carefully to mine." I told her, hoping she hadn't gotten too lost.

Jasper sighed angrily beside me but one again I ignored him, this was an emergency.

"I'll see you in a bit B." I promised before hanging up and turning to face Jasper.

He was glaring at me angrily.

"Her and Edward had a fight, I can hardly just ignore her." I muttered.

He just shook his head but didn't say anything and before I could say more there was a knock at the door.

I got the strangest sense of déjà vu as I opened the door and Bella pitched forward into my arms sobbing.

This time, however, I could get nothing coherent out of her, she calmed down a little and I managed to get her to the spare room where she just cried herself to sleep.

"I never realised just how hard all of this is on her." I said as I wandered back into my room "I guess after finding out Edward's parents accepted it and Charlie was coming around I just assumed everything would be ok."

Jasper never took his eyes of the book he was reading, in fact he gave no sign he knew I was in the room.

I got changed and climbed into bed next to him.

"Jazz?" I murmured rolling my eyes when he continued to ignore me "So it's the silent treatment?" I huffed trying to hide my hurt behind anger. It didn't last very long.

"Jasper I'm sorry, but we've got tomorrow night." I pleaded.

He sighed and placed the book down "Tomorrows Friday." he said, turning to face me.

I blinked in shock. Where the hell had my week gone?

"Look Alice just forget it. She needed you, lets just leave it at that before we end up in another fucking argument." he ran a hand over his face tiredly.

I leant across to kiss him but he turned his head so I only got his cheek, I bit my lip as I pulled back.

"I love you." I murmured. Trying to let him know I appreciated his patience and understanding.

"Yeah I know." he sighed shuffling down under the duvet.

My insides turned to ice and I froze staring at him.

He hadn't said it back, he always said it back.

Panic started to set in, it's not like I expected him to say it every time I did, that's not the reason I'd said it, I just wanted him to know I loved him. But he always said it back.

He glanced up at me where I was still frozen and smiled softly, one hand came to cup my cheek.

"I love you Mini." he murmured.

I relaxed a little leaning into his hand before snuggling down next to him relaxing fully when his arms wrapped around me and I felt his lips press to my hair.

He was upset, which was understandable, but we'd be ok.

At least I hoped we would be.

* * *

**I like Bella being a bit of a bitch, I don't know why I just do.**

**This chapter feels a bit rushed but again it's really just to set up things to come.**

**Review, let me know what you think. xx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: ****My name is not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 30: All's fair in love and war**

Jasper's pov

I had had enough!

Was it really too much to want to spend time with my girlfriend?

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me, it seemed ever time I thought me and Alice seemed to be fine Bella would have some drama to ruin everything.

And it always ended up with me being fucking cock blocked!

I thought we'd got through the worst of this. I'd thought it was over, but no, for some reason Bella had decided that she couldn't survive without Alice on call 24/7.

I wanted to scream and I needed to take it out on someone, my target the next day at school was Edward.

I found him by his locker and stormed over angrily.

"What the fuck have you done this time?" I snarled.

He looked at me blankly for a second "What?" he asked in confusion.

"What the hell did you say to Bella?" I tried to reign in my temper a little.

He blinked twice before frowning "I wish I knew." he shot back turning to slam his locker closed.

That confused me "What do you mean? she came round to Alice's last night saying you had a fight."

Edward rolled his eyes "We had the pregnant women's version of a fight, which means we were talking I obviously said the wrong thing and she screamed at me before storming out the house."

I frowned angrily "So she didn't need to come round, she just did because…" I didn't finish that thought because the truth was I wasn't sure how to, why was Bella suddenly so dependant on Alice?

Edward shook his head "No, what I mean is in Bella's hormonal head I did something wrong and something that upset her and she needed her friend. She does it a lot, we can just be watching TV or something and the next second she's yelling at me for some reason." he sounded annoyed "I've had enough of it." I rolled my eyes.

"Well next time use a condom!" I shot at him before walking away.

I couldn't help worrying there was more to all this than Bella just being hormonal but I had no evidence to prove she was purposefully taking up all of Alice's time.

Bella was only hanging out with Alice because she had no other choice, I knew for a fact she still wasn't friends with Lauren and Jess, but a leopard never changes it's spots and she had spent the past three years belittling Alice and treating her like crap.

I wanted to keep my temper over the whole thing because I knew this was who Alice was, and I was trying to be patient but she never listened to me and it all came to a head after Alice spent yet another night with Bella.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to be this late." she said as she came in. It was after eleven again.

"I'm used to it by now." I muttered under my breath but she heard.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked sounding hurt.

Usually that would make me cave but I had had enough so instead it just fuelled my own hurt and anger.

"It means every time you spend the evening with Bella I never see you before eleven." I chuckled humourlessly "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were cheating on me!"

Ok maybe that was a little harsh Jasper.

I risked looking up at her to find tears sparkle in her eyes.

"She's having a tough time at the moment, she needed to talk." she mumbled shuffling nervously "I'm sorry Jasper but if a friend needs me…"

"When was the last time she was there when you needed her?" I snapped angrily.

"That's not the point Jasper." she yelled back at me.

"You're right it's not." I stood up to face her properly "The point is in the past two weeks I've hardly seen my girlfriend and she doesn't seem to see the problem because she just takes it for fucking granted that I'll be here!" I was breathing heavily as I glared down at her.

"I don't take you for granted." her voice shook and she looked close to tears but now I'd let all my anger out I couldn't seem to force it back.

"Really? So what would have happened if you'd come home tonight and I hadn't been here? I'd had enough of sitting on my own all night and gone home?"

She flinched back, the tears spilled over and I took a deep breath trying to calm down a little.

"Just tell me this Alice, why am I staying here if you're going to be out with Bella all night?"

She took a step forward "Jazz…" her mouth stayed open but nothing else came out.

I nodded slowly "Yeah, that's what I thought." I headed past her and up the stairs to grab my bag. Most of my stuff was still scattered around her room but I didn't care, I just needed to get out of there.

"Jazz?" she chocked out as I headed back downstairs.

"I can't pretend this doesn't bother me anymore." I said "I'm sorry but I can't keep being the one who has to 'understand' all the time."

I didn't really wanted to say it outloud and be too obvious but I wanted Alice to understand she had hurt me, I wanted her to know it wasn't ok to just keep expecting me to be there.

I moved towards the door reluctantly, my body didn't want to cooperate, it didn't want to leave Alice.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

I knew if I turned to face her it would be my undoing, but at the same time it wasn't fair doing this with my back to her.

Turning I found her with tears flowing down her cheeks, her arms wrapped tight around herself.

"I do understand that it's in your nature to want to help Bella." I said softly. I couldn't be angry when she looked like that "But I also need you to understand that it fucking hurts when you just expect me to be ok with you ditching me to spend time with her, especially after everything she put you through."

I paused for a few seconds to see if she was going to say anything but she seemed incapable of speech right now.

"Why should I stay when you don't want to spend time with me?" I asked.

"I do want to spend time with you." she mumbled.

"Really?" I asked harshly "Because in these past few weeks, outside of school, I've barely seen you!"

She stood there shuffling uncomfortably because she knew I was right.

"I'm sorry." she finally whispered, looking into her eyes I could see the sincerity, she had made a mistake but she was genuinely sorry.

For some reason that just wasn't enough this time. We both stood there in silence and the longer it went on the greater my desire grew to turn and run.

"I have to go." I muttered more to myself than Alice.

Fear flared in her eyes "You can't." she chocked out "Jazz please."

"I can't do this right now Alice." I said honestly. I wasn't angry anymore, to be honest I wasn't sure how I felt.

I wanted to accept her apology, I knew she was sorry, but I just couldn't.

I needed time to think, the longer I stayed here the more my resolve weakened.

Just stay, just forgive her, let it go. Who cares if she takes you for granted as long as she still wants you here.

She was shaking by now and everything in me was screaming to take her in my arms and spend all night just loving her.

"Please, don't go." she whispered softly "Please Jazz, I'm sorry."

_Nothing's going to change if you just give in, she needs to know how much she hurt you._

Her body shook harder as she tried to hold in the sobs that threatened, tears still poured from her eyes.

Something tells me she knows how much it hurts!

I turned back to the door hating myself.

"You promised me you'd never leave." she sobbed.

My hand fell from the door and I sighed, she had me there.

* * *

Alice's pov

I knew I wasn't being fair.

The look on Jasper's face told me how deep that had cut him, but I was beyond reason. I would say, I would do whatever I had to to make him stay.

"I'll make it up to you." I tried another angle as he stood there still undecided.

Stepping forward slowly I let my arms snake around his neck "How can I make it up to you?" I asked trying to be sexy and feeling sick.

"I'll stay tonight." he mumbled softly.

I leant in to kiss up his neck "Whatever you want tonight." I told him.

I started as he pulled back stiffly, removing my arms from around his neck.

"I'll stay tonight, but I'm sleeping on the sofa." he stated firmly.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"I need some space to think, so whatever the fuck you're thinking it isn't happening." he said angrily storming into the lounge to pull out the sofa bed.

I followed him slowly "Jasper…"

He didn't let me finish.

"Alice I can't do this right now. You want me to stay then leave it because I am seriously close to walking out that door." his back was to me as he said that.

I had to bite my lip to stop crying "Ok." I murmured. I waited a few seconds but he just carried on sorting his bed out so I turned and headed upstairs.

I got ready for bed in a slight daze unsure how to feel. Jasper was still here but as I climbed into bed alone he may as well have been halfway across the world.

I tossed and turned for well over an hour before giving up. He wouldn't leave now, would he? I had to risk it.

I slowly headed down the stairs and into the lounge.

"Jazz, are you asleep?" I whispered.

"No. I can't sleep." he responded.

I moved over to perch on the edge of the bed smiling a little as I thought about other times we'd been on this sofa bed "Our first kiss was here." I murmured.

"Don't Alice." he warned.

My eyes were accustomed to the dark and I saw him sit up and put his head in his hands.

"Sorry." I mumbled "I just…sorry."

He looked over at me, as I plucked nervously at the spare duvet he'd found, and let out a dry chuckle.

"Why can't I stay mad at you?" he asked.

I glanced up at him nervously.

"I want to be mad at you." he said making me flinch "But I just can't be, you could treat me like shit and I'd stay." he said laughing humourlessly "My dad would be laughing his ass off at me if he could se me now." his eyes locked onto mine "You've got me completely trapped."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

"I'm sorry Jazz." I chocked out "I know I messed up. I know I've taken you for granted recently, but I swear I wont do that again." my voice broke at the end.

His hands came up to my face to wipe away the tears that had fallen and I whimpered at the contact, craving more.

"Alice." he whispered my name.

The next second his lips were crushing mine, my fingers dug into his shoulders as I pulled myself as close as physically possible. My head was spinning like I was being intoxicated by him.

Jasper's mouth and hands were forceful and desperate, he moved us quickly so I was pinned on my back beneath him. My fingers fumbled trying to get his t-shirt off as his hands brushed roughly against my sides and he ripped my top off.

I managed to get his t-shirt off and my fingers tangled in his hair tightly making him hiss. His mouth came back to mine and I fought back against his lips with just as much urgency.

My shorts and panties were ripped off simultaneously and Jasper pushed my legs apart roughly.

With a growl he broke from the kiss and rolled off me to reach into his bag and find a condom. I didn't really have time to register much before he was back between my legs, his hands gripped my thighs tightly as he pulled me closer and I knew I was probably going to have bruises. Not that I really gave a fuck at this moment.

"Jazz." I moaned reaching out for him and he leant back over me, his lips still rough against mine as he slid into me hard and fast.

Both our moans met between our joined mouths.

Jasper made to pull out but I locked my legs around him keeping him still.

He pulled back to frown down at me but my arms and legs tightened pulling him closer.

"I love you." I whispered "And I'm sorry."

In response he kissed me again, reaching back to unlock my legs so he could move. It was rough and fast. I couldn't think straight, I just let myself go moaning loudly as Jasper continued to pound into me grunting with exertion.

He collapsed next to me after we'd both climaxed and pulled me against his chest. We stayed quiet as our breathing evened out, and I closed my eyes in contentment.

"Well that was fun." he chuckled.

I giggled myself feeling safe and relaxed now his arms were around me again "Aren't you glad you stayed now."

He tensed a little beside me and I bit my lip wondering why the hell I hadn't just kept quiet and enjoyed the moment.

His fingers ran through my hair, I still hadn't cut it and he played with the ends that, now, nearly reached my shoulders.

"Why did you forgive her so easily?" he asked quietly.

I took a slow shaky breath "Jazz please don't do this now." I begged trying to bury my head in his chest and hide.

"We have to do this now." he murmured placing a kiss on top of my head "If not we'll never bring it up again."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I mumbled.

"It will be come the next argument." he finished.

I sighed knowing he was right but I still didn't answer.

"Mini, there is nothing you could do or say that would stop me loving you." he said trying to pull back from me but I latched on like a limpet.

"You were her friend for ten years right?"

I nodded against his chest.

"End of junior high, beginning of high school Lauren and the others started on you."

He waited for me to nod in confirmation.

"Bella couldn't deal with that so she left you to cope alone, and then joined in bullying you."

I shook my head, I didn't want to hear this.

"That's not true?" Jasper asked.

"No." I muttered "Well yes, sort of. I don't know."

"Did Bella join in and bully you?"

"Jasper don't." I begged again. I couldn't face this, I didn't want to face this.

"Yes or no Alice, it's not difficult. Did she ever say something hurtful to you, or join in when they laughed at you."

Tear formed in my eyes again "Please stop it."

"Answer the question Alice." his tone was soft and despite how much I wanted to be mad at him for not letting this go I couldn't be.

"Why are you doing this?" I whined.

He sighed softly "Ok lets try another, why can't you just admit what Bella did?"

Why couldn't I admit that?

"Because I want a friend!" I yelled my voice muffled by his chest "No one likes me, I'm sick of being the freak, I just want to be normal. I like having someone to go shopping with and hang out with and just talk to."

"You have me." he murmured softly.

That made me smile "I know, and I love you. And I am sorry I've kind of ignored you recently."

He chuckled "I know you are, and in case you didn't realise I forgave you for that."

"If she hadn't gotten pregnant you don't think she'd be talking to me do you." it wasn't really a question, Jasper had given me his opinion on the matter enough times for me to know.

I felt him shrug "I don't think she'd have willingly put herself in a position where she gets teased and ridiculed no."

"And you think I'm really stupid for just…for being friends with her." I asked hesitantly.

He sighed heavily.

"I think." he began slowly "Despite how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, these past few years have been a hell of a lot tougher on you than you want to admit. You were let down by someone you considered a friend and then you were bullied and people tried to force you into things."

I pressed even closer to him when he said that. Thinking about the last time I'd been blinded by my desire for someone to like me.

"Everything that happened cut you deeper than you admit. You haven't had anyone but Emmett to talk to and you've kept most of your pain from him because of your unfounded guilt. You want a friend, that's understandable Mini, but" he paused again "I just don't think Bella's a good friend for you."

"You're quite perceptive aren't you." I mumbled feeling strangely exposed after hearing just how easily Jasper seemed to read me.

"I just know you, we've spent so much time together and how you act is understandable given everything you've been through. I'm just worried it's going to lead to you getting hurt more."

I finally pulled away form his chest so I could look up at him.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

His blue eyes softened as they looked into mine. He pressed his lips to the side of my head "I'm not going to tell you not to be friends with her Alice, because I know that's not fair. I am worried she's going to hurt you, but I know that it has to be your choice." he sighed heavily "At the end of the day all I can do is be here for you if it does go wrong. But, I am going to be selfish enough to demand time with you as well."

"That's not selfish." I assured him "And I swear Jazz I am never going to risk losing you. Never again. But she needs me right now and I can't just turn my back on her."

I swallowed as panic threatened at the thought of what I'd nearly thrown away. What I could still lose.

"I understand that and you're not going to lose me." he murmured squeezing me tight "I'm not strong enough to leave you Alice, no matter how angry or upset I am." he chuckled a little "All night I was trying to convince myself to just leave before you got home because I knew the second I saw you I'd never go. But, I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't let you come home to an empty house with no explanation." he laughed again "Fuck I am so whipped!"

My fingers dug into him as I pulled him closer, still not over the fear of him leaving.

"I'm really glad you stayed." I whispered "I promise Jazz I am never going to take you for granted again. I just…I can't…" my breathing picked up a little, panic set in again.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here, I'm not goin' anywhere." he murmured soothingly his hand running up and down my back "I'm sorry."

I shook my head trying to fight back the tears that had formed "I don't blame you for being angry Jasper, I don't blame you for threatening to leave. It was my fault, but I can't even think about you not being here." my arms and legs locked around him as though scared he was about to disappear.

"You're never going to have to." he said soothingly "Yes I was hurt and I wanted to make my point, and I am sorry I had to do that but I swear to god Alice I am never going to leave you."

I sobbed quietly as I thought about how stupid I was. Jasper was my life line, I couldn't imagine my life without him, I needed him like oxygen and I had just nearly wrecked it all, just so I could feel normal.

What did it matter if I had no friends? I had Jasper and he loved me completely, he was always there for me no matter what.

"I don't deserve you." I murmured once I'd clamed myself down.

"Yes you do." he stated firmly "You deserve to be happy Alice, you deserve to be loved." he sighed softly tilting my head so I was looking into his eyes again "You said it yourself, we're going to argue and fall out sometimes. Yes you made a mistake, you hurt me, but I've fucked up a lot as well in the past. We're both still young and we're bound to make mistakes." he leant in and kissed me.

I responded desperately, running my lips up to his ear "I'm sorry." I whispered again.

"You're forgiven." he insisted bringing my lips back to his.

He pulled me closer and I felt tingly all over as our bodies rubbed together.

"I'm really sorry." I murmured as Jasper moved to suck on the spot behind my ear.

He chuckled softly "Mini, you're forgiven. Just don't do it again." he teased.

I shook my head firmly, there was no way in hell I was going to risk losing this feeling, not for anything.

Pushing against his chest I managed to get him on his back and rolled to straddle his waist.

"I'll never do it again." I whispered placing kisses down his chest. "I'm really, really, really sorry." I murmured between kisses.

Jasper moaned softly as my mouth worked it's way lower and I giggled. Just because he said I was forgiven didn't mean I didn't have some making up to do.

Settling between his legs I ran my hands slowly up his thighs. Even though my first attempt had been a bit disastrous I really loved giving Jasper head. I loved the reactions I got form him, I loved how much he enjoyed it.

My eyes locked onto his and I shivered a little when I saw how dark they were. I bit my lip giggling quietly in delight as my fingers ran over his things and abdomen, teasing him, and his head fell back with a moan.

"So I'm forgiven?" I teased.

He nodded.

I sat up breaking contact and tried not to giggle as Jasper moaned in disappointment.

"Mini." he whined pathetically.

"You said I was forgiven." I said resting my hands back on his thighs "So I don't have to make it up to you anymore."

He whined again bucking his hips towards me "Yeah, but you now have to make up for teasing me!" he grinned.

I pretended to think for a second "I guess that's fair." I giggled before settling down to take him into my mouth.

Making up was fun!

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**Reviews are better than make up sex!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 31: This is my truth tell me yours.**

Alice's pov

I yawned loudly as I pulled a text book out of my locker.

I had gotten very little sleep last night and when the alarm had gone off, signalling we had to get up, I would have given anything to spend the whole day in bed wrapped in Jasper's arms.

Jasper had been in a really good mood this morning, and I knew, for now at least, we were ok.

Unfortunately the issue wasn't actually going to go away that easily. Something I realised when Bella came up to me.

"Hey Alice, you fancy a movie night tonight?" she asked leaning against the lockers next to mine.

"I can't tonight B." I said closing my locker and turning to face her.

Her face fell and I felt kind of bad "Oh ok." she sounded really hurt.

"I'm going out with Jasper." I found myself explaining "I haven't really spent much time with him recently."

She frowned in annoyance "So you're ditching me to spend time with a guy? Nice Alice, some friend you are." she turned and stormed away.

With a heavy sigh I slowly made my way to class. No matter what I did someone ended up mad at me.

Why could I never do anything right?

_You can. You've been there for Bella through all of this and Jasper's right she didn't deserve for you to be so understanding._

Luckily we just spent the lesson copying out notes, which gave me the opportunity to really think about everything.

Was it really so wrong to want to have a friend? Someone I could talk to, have fun with, someone who would be there for me when I needed them.

No it isn't, but maybe Jasper was right about Bella not being that person.

She had never been there for me when I needed her, and today she'd got angry at me because I wanted to spend one night with my boyfriend instead of her.

I was not the one in the wrong here. I was entitled to have a life of my own. I was not simply there to be on call for Bella 24/7, I had other responsibilities as well and there was nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with Jasper.

Besides, Bella could spend the night with Edward. She wouldn't be on her own.

Despite the fact we were both still tired from our lack of sleep last night, Jasper wanted to go out.

"Less chance of us being interrupted if we're not here." he teased, kissing me to let me know he was joking.

"So where are we going?" I asked eagerly.

Jasper shook his head with a grin "Oh no, it's a surprise."

I pouted at him "Well what am I meant to wear?"

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me "You really want me to answer that?" his eyes ran up and down me making me shiver. "What you're wearing is fine."

I was in jeans and a hoody, so that told me we weren't going anywhere posh.

"And there was me thinking you were taking me somewhere special." I teased.

He stepped forward wrapping me in his arms "I am." he leant in to place kisses on my face and neck "Don't you trust me?" he murmured. I could feel his lips turn up into a grin where they rested against my cheek.

"I trust you completely." I told him honestly.

He hummed softly against my neck causing me to whimper.

"We should go." he murmured, his mouth still working over my neck "We should go now before we never do."

I shrugged, unconcerned, going out just wasn't looking so appealing anymore.

"I just have to grab something then we can go." he kissed my cheek once more before taking the stairs two at a time.

I leant back against the wall feeling light headed and giddy. It felt like I was falling in love with him all over again, and it was the best feeling in the world.

I let out a giggle, my eyes went to the stairs waiting for Jasper to reappear, he was taking his sweet time.

There was a knock at the door, with a heavy sigh I pushed myself away from the wall to open it. My good mood vanished when I saw Bella stood on the porch.

Of course that had to be the moment Jasper came back downstairs.

"Bella what are you doing here?" I asked. I didn't dare looking at Jasper right now.

She shrugged "It's just been a really hard day, and you did say I could come round any time."

Jasper sighed angrily behind me.

"Yeah I know I did." I sighed "But I also told you I was busy tonight."

Her eyes dropped "Oh sorry, I forgot. I just needed to talk but that's ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

Guilt ripped through me and I knew no matter what I did I'd end up hating myself.

Jasper's arms wrapped around me from behind and I felt his lips press to the back of my neck "It's ok." he murmured "We can go out tomorrow."

He smiled reassuringly at me as I looked up at him. Pressing a kiss to my forehead he turned to head back upstairs.

I pouted unhappily, I wanted to spend tonight with Jasper. Turning back to Bella she was still stood on the porch.

Reluctantly I stepped back so she could come in. she headed into the lounge and sat on the sofa looking around smiling softly.

"Remember when we camped out in here when we were 7 and spent all day watching Disney movies?"

I frowned in annoyance, I did remember that, but it was over ten years ago, why was she bringing it up?

"B why are you here?" I asked.

She frowned "I just needed to talk."

"But I told you I was busy." I said flopping down next to her "I told you I had plans."

She seemed taken back for a moment before her eyes ran over my outfit "Yeah it looks like you were really busy!" she muttered sarcastically.

That pissed me off "I wanted to spend tonight with Jasper."

"So you want me to disappear so you can get back to fucking some guy? Nice Alice!"

I was on my feet, my hands curled into fists "He is not just 'some guy' Bella, and he has been really patient seeing as how I've hardly spent any time with him recently because I've been there for you."

"I'm so sorry for needing a friend at the moment." she snapped back "I never thought you'd be the kind of person to let down a friend for the sake of a boy."

I felt like she'd just slapped me.

"That's not fair." I said softly.

"Yeah I know it'd not, I need you Alice." she said clearly not getting what I'd meant.

I shook my head angrily, tears pricked my eyes "No, it's not fair for you to say that to me. I have been there for you every step of the way Bella. When you were scared to tell Edward, that night Charlie kicked you out. I even went to talk to him for you! And then at school when everyone found out and Jess and Lauren started on you. All I am asking for is one night to spend with my boyfriend and you can't even give me that. Surely you can sped one night with Edward."

Everything Jasper had said last night came back to me, he had been right about everything, and once again I'd been too stupid to see what was right in front of my face.

Bella was just using me because she had no other choice.

"Well I'm so sorry I'm wrecking your perfect little life Alice." she spat out venomously "So much for thinking you might actually understand how hard all this is on me, but no, all you care about is yourself."

I stood there wide eyed as she ranted at me.

"I am the size of an elephant, with everyone telling me what to do and what not to do, in less than a month I'm expected to push out something the size of a watermelon. And you." I stepped back in shock at the angry jealous look on her face "You just have everything, you have your perfect little boyfriend, and your perfect life." she screeched "God it makes me sick."

I just stood there staring at her, for the first time ever as I looked at her I could see no trace of the girl I'd been best friends with. Instead I saw the girl who'd treated me like shit for three years and now seemed to be blaming me for all her problems.

"My life is far from perfect Bella." I said my voice strangely calm.

She snorted "Yeah right. You know what fuck it, you're obviously too caught up with Jasper to care about anyone else."

"You are such a hypocrite." I told her still calm.

"What?" she asked looking confused.

"You keep going on like I'm putting myself, or Jasper above you or something, when you did that exact thing to me. You fancied Edward and you wanted him to notice you so you turned your back on me. You treated me like shit for three years, the only reason you started talking to me again is because you had no one else, and then you expect me to spend all my time with you and have the audacity to say I'm being a bad friend, I'm being selfish!" my voice was getting louder as I went until I was yelling at her "Well if I'm such a bad friend Bella, you obviously don't need me." I screamed.

She stood there staring at me in shock. I was breathing heavily and I'd never felt so angry in my life.

"I have always been there for you." I carried on "And I don't deserve to be treated like this, so just fuck off!"

I glared at her and she stood frozen for a few seconds before she scowled at me.

"Fine." she huffed turning to head out the door.

I started pacing the anger and adrenalin flooding my system making it imposable to stay still.

How dare she fucking accuse me of being a bad friend. Who the fuck did she think she was?

"You know." I spun around in shock to find Jasper leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest as he smirked at me "You are incredibly sexy when you're angry."

I bit my lip looking down shyly. The anger faded as he slowly came over to me.

"You were right." I sighed still looking at the floor "She was just using me. I should never have forgiven her so easily, I just…god I am such an idiot!" I burst out my hands gripped at my hair.

"Hey don't say that." Jasper said sternly, gently taking my hands in his and pulling me against him "You're not an idiot ok, you're just…"

"A bad judge of character?" I supplied miserably "You know the worst thing, I still feel guilty for saying that to her."

"Well I'm not going to lie, I am exceptionally happy that you finally stood up for yourself, and even happier that I get to spend tonight with you again."

I rolled my eyes but smiled up at him "Tonight and every other night. I just told my only friend to fuck off!"

"She's not your only friend." he said "I'm your friend, I was your friend first after all."

I leant against his chest sighing happily "You wouldn't have been if you'd gotten your own way." I teased.

"That's true." he chuckled "All things considered though, I'm very glad things worked out the way they did."

I wrapped my arms around his waist hugging him tight "Me too."

"You feel better now?" he asked running a hand over my back.

"Yeah." I sighed "I mean if you think about it I haven't really lost anything. I still have college to make friends."

He kissed my head softly.

"She's going to be alright isn't she?" I asked quietly.

Jasper sighed but chuckled softly, squeezing me tighter "She'll be fine. She's got Edward, and his parents and her dad. You did more than most people would do for her Mini and you have no reason to feel guilty ok?"

He pushed me back staring into my eyes. "Ok?" he pressed.

I nodded "Ok. I'll try not to feel guilty."

Pulling me to him he kissed my forehead "That's my girl."

I giggled happily "Your girl. I like that." I murmured hugging him tightly again.

"You'll always be my girl." he murmured.

We stood there in each others arms, Jasper's head resting on top of mine, for a few minutes.

"So are we still going out?" I asked.

Jasper seemed to think for a minute before shaking his head "No not tonight. What I had planned was meant to be special and I'd rather do it when you're not stressing over Bella."

I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off before I got the chance to.

"I know you Alice, and whether you want to or not you are going to be worrying about this."

I shuffled uncomfortably "I'm sorry." I mumbled feeling awful again.

Jasper shook his head with another sigh. Taking my face between his hands he tilted my head up bringing his lips to mine and kissing me deeply. I hadn't been expecting that and my legs nearly gave way.

"No need to be sorry." he murmured softly "You stood up for yourself, and we still get to spend tonight together. Besides after last night we could do with an early one."

Still feeling the need to make it up to him somehow, I insisted on cooking whatever he wanted.

"Can you make chocolate mousse?" he asked with a smirk "I've got a feeling that will go down even better than it did before."

Unfortunately I didn't have the right ingredients and neither of us could really be bothered to leave the house to get them.

Despite that Jasper was still in a really good mood and we ended up having a food fight in the kitchen.

I was covered in flower and eggs and a lot of things I couldn't identify and Jasper wasn't looking much better.

We ended up eating a frozen pizza I discovered in the freezer because the ingredients for the home made one I'd been attempting we were both now wearing. But, it was well worth it. Defiantly the most fun we had had in months.

"This is going to take forever to clean up." I giggled surveying the damage as we sat on the floor to eat.

Jasper smirked "Cleaning up can be fun." he teased waggling his eyebrows and I giggled thinking back to my birthday.

I looked around again and shook my head "Why is it that every time you step foot in a kitchen it ends up looking like a war zone?"

"It's a skill!" Jasper said laughing at me as he smudged tomato sauce on my nose and I stuck my tongue out at him.

Cleaning up took five times longer than it should have because Jasper started a water fight in an effort to make my top see through.

"We really need to shower." Jasper chuckled once we'd finished

"Why?" I teased "I thought you liked me wet and dirty?" my eyes widened and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Oh god, I cannot believe I just said that.

Jasper gaped at me for a second before smirking. I made a quick escape upstairs feeling so embarrassed I wanted the floor to swallow me. I really couldn't believe I'd just said that.

Jasper's arms wrapped around me from behind and I squirmed in embarrassment. He ran his lips down my neck but didn't actually say anything about my, erm, comment.

"So are we gonna shower."

I nodded "You can use the big bathroom if you want and I'll use my little one."

He sighed sadly "Can't I shower with you?"

I froze in his arms, I'd never really considered that. Turning to face him I looked into his eyes.

"I suppose, if you wanted to." I said hesitantly.

With a bright smile he brought his lips to mine, lifting me and carrying me to the bathroom.

Sharing a shower was really uncomfortable at first as I got really self conscious. I mean, I know Jasper has seen me naked before, lots of times, but this was different.

I just stood, tense, under the water with my arms crossed over my chest until Jasper started to wash my hair, which really relaxed me.

"This is nice." he murmured as his fingers worked through my hair, I was nearly purring under his touch "I've never done this before."

"Really?" I asked in surprise looking up at him and regretting it as the spray of the shower stung my eyes.

"No. I've never liked a girl enough to want to wash her." he joked.

I smiled shyly, suddenly feeling a lot happier about this.

Jasper took his time washing certain parts of me but kept it pretty innocent. Once we were both clean and dried we just lay in bed cuddling.

Jasper nuzzled my neck and I felt my eyes droop, a haze of contentment seemed to hang over us.

No matter what Jasper said I knew I had been stupid for spending so much time with Bella rather than making the most of moments like this.

It would be nice to have friends, but I knew in my heart this was the one thing I truly couldn't live without, and if that made me selfish so be it.

"Love you Jazz." I mumbled sleepily.

His voice rumbled over me as he said something but I couldn't distinguish what it was as sleep took over me.

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**So Alice finally figured it out, took her long enough lol.**

**I know this chapters a bit shorter than normal but I wanted to leave it on a happy note.**

**Review, let me know what you think. xx**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing, all rights and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Well I was meant to be going to see Eclipse again today but my friend has let me down, so instead I finished this chapter for you all. Enjoy. **

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**Chapter 32: Closure **

Jasper's pov

My happy delirium from the night before meant I'd never really considered the possible ramifications of Alice and Bella's fight.

I had been so overjoyed at the thought of Alice actually standing up for herself and seeing Bella for who she really was, I hadn't had time to worry about the further reaching consequences.

It wasn't until we arrived at school the next day that I began to worry about it.

Alice hopped out of the car happily the minute I'd stopped, she froze as I joined her staring across the car park. Following her gaze my eyes narrowed as they focused in on Edward glaring at her.

I moved to wrap an arm around her shoulder and she leant into me.

"If he says or does anything to you, I'll kill him." I swore, my eyes still narrowed at Edward.

Alice shook her head with a giggle "No you wont, because that would land you in prison. Then who's going to protect me?"

Glancing down at her I raised an eyebrow and she just shrugged.

"He's bound to be a little bit pissed at me. And besides I've been through worse."

I hated it when she did that, justified how people treated her. I knew it had been her coping mechanism but it still annoyed me. People had no reason, or excuse to be that cruel. End of!

I walked Alice to her homeroom and tried to make sure I was there to walk her to every class, like some overprotective guard dog.

By lunch time she had figured out my genius plan, despite all my stealth and cunning!

"Jazz, I don't think he's going to do anything to me." she smiled at me "And even if he does, I'm a big girl. I can handle it. I don't need you worn out from walking me to and from class and having to rush across school so you're not late for your own."

I looked at her trying to act dumb, like I had no idea what she was talking about. Needless to say that didn't work.

"I'm overprotective." I grinned at her with a shrug "Deal with it!"

She shook her head giggling at me, and I did an internal happy dance that coming to school and having to see Bella hadn't killed her good mood as I had feared it would.

Knowing I couldn't keep up my guard dog act forever I decided to do something a little more proactive to try and keep her safe. The first chance I got I sat next to Edward in class.

"That look you gave Alice this morning is as far as it goes." I warned keeping my eyes focused straight ahead.

"What look?" he asked like a smart ass.

I turned my head to glare at him "You know what I'm talking about Edward." I growled "Look I get it, Bella was hurt after the fight last night, but so was Alice. She tried to be there for Bella but it didn't work. Lets just leave it at that rather than turning this into some pointless vendetta, because I promise you Edward I will not just sit back if you start on Alice again."

He met my glare with his own, and if I hadn't been involved in this stand off I'd probably have laughed.

You could almost smell the testosterone as we squared up to each other, completely forgetting we were in the middle of a lesson.

I wasn't worried, I knew I could take Edward no problem.

"Mr. Mason, Mr. Whitlock, is there a problem?"

Slowly we broke our glaring contest to look up to where Mr. Watson scowled down at us.

"No sir." Edward mumbled.

He glared at us for a few more seconds before returning to the front of the class and continuing his lesson.

We stayed quiet for a while before Edward sighed heavily.

"Look Jay, I'm not going to start on Alice again ok. I get it too. Yes I was angry at her for upsetting Bella but the truth is I don't have the energy for it anymore. I have more important shit going on in my life, I don't have time to waste hassling McCarty. And I am trying to make Bella realise that she should just cut her losses and move on."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything, in honesty that was better than I'd expected. I nodded once to let him know I had heard and agreed.

Knowing Edward was going to steer clear made me feel a lot better. I could understand his loyalty to Bella, after all it was the same as I had for Alice. That didn't change the fact it was them in the wrong though.

I finally got to take Alice out that night, what I'd originally had planned for the night before fell through because I had wanted it to be really special. Yes I'm a hopeless romantic now. And I'd rather wait until all of this was truly behind us.

Tonight we just went to the local diner to eat, the way Alice was going on you'd think I'd taken her to The Ritz or something.

She was still trying to make up for the past few weeks and the less noble part of me was thinking about all the ways I could use that to my advantage.

Hmm, bad thoughts to be having in a public place!

I shifted crossing my legs and trying to redirect my thoughts. Sometimes I really hated being a teenager!

Alice giggled, mischief danced in her eyes and I knew she had noticed my current predicament.

"It's all your fault." I teased her.

"Well what am I meant to do about it?" she asked giggling and biting her lip.

I leant forward taking hold of her hand over the table and drew little circles on the back with my thumb, smirking as her eyelids fluttered.

The simplest gesture could get her going, and unfortunately, at this moment in time, my less noble side was winning out.

"Oh I'm sure I can think of something." I growled out quietly.

Alice's eyes sparked with lust. I noticed the waitress bringing our food over and sat back, letting go of Alice's hand.

She huffed at me in annoyance and I just smirked back.

Once we'd finished I paid the bill, may as well pretend I'm a gentleman!

"Did you want to do anything else?" I asked, knowing once I got her home activities would be limited to one of two things.

Alice shrugged "Could we just go for a walk?" she asked quietly as though worried I'd refuse. She needn't have been, I could never say no to her.

"Sure thing Mini." I smiled taking her hand and waiting for her to choose a direction.

With a bright smile she led me off into the surrounding woods.

We walked in silence for the most part, just enjoying each others company.

My fingers were wrapped completely around hers and the heat from her hand spread through me fighting off the chilly winter air.

Alice sighed and I heard the slight hint of sadness.

"What's wrong Mini?" I asked concerned.

She looked up at me with a small smile "Nothing really, it's just, it's Friday again tomorrow, so I'm not going to see you for two days." her bottom lip jutted out in an adorable pout and I couldn't stop myself kissing her.

"We'll just have to make the most of tonight then." I murmured against her lips.

There was a rather handily positioned tree near us, the trunk was tilted at the right angle so Alice could lean back against it as I tried to get us up to at least second base.

"Jazz." Alice moaned softly as I fumbled through the many layers she had on trying to find some bare skin. "It's cold." she whined.

My body was overheating with need so I couldn't really feel the cold, but Alice obviously did. Then again she was the one I was currently undressing.

"I'll keep you warm." I growled pressing closer to her so she was nearly crushed between me and the tree.

"Jasper stop, please."

I stepped back immediately, she smiled reassuringly to let me know it was ok and she wasn't upset with me.

She buttoned her coat back up and sidled up to me "It's cold, and we're in the middle of a forest."

Despite the fact she was joking my head fell in shame.

"Take me home, where it's cosy and warm and I don't need to be wearing so many clothes and then we can start making the most of tonight."

I grinned shyly down at her, still feeling bad for my lack of thought. Curse my one track mind.

"I can't take you home." I said, she frowned at me in confusion "Mini, you brought us out here, I have no idea where the fuck we are or which way home even is."

Giggling she grabbed my hand and started to drag me in, what I assume, was the way home.

* * *

Alice's pov

Jasper certainly did make the most of last night and I once again cursed myself for not making time to spend with him recently.

My memories could not do justice to just how good it felt being that close to him, having his hands and mouth on me, having him inside me.

For the first time possibly ever I really didn't want it to be Friday.

Maybe they'd be a party Emmett wanted to go to tonight so he wouldn't be home until tomorrow morning, that was unlikely.

A girl can hope though.

I had wasted so much time these past few weeks, I just wanted one more night with Jasper.

I checked my phone periodically hoping I'd get a message from Em, but no such luck.

I had to pop to the bathroom before lunch. I was feeling slightly giddy at the thought of getting to see Jasper for an hour.

It was like I'd gone from one extreme to the other. From taking him for granted, to wanting to make the most of every single second I could get with him.

Realising what I could have lost made me appreciate it that much more.

I had just finished washing my hands and was checking my reflection in the mirror when the door opened and Bella walked in.

With instincts ingrained form four years of bullying I tensed up, apprehension and slight fear washing over me.

I had managed to avoid her since Wednesday night and had no idea what to expect after our fight.

She froze the second she saw me, a similar look of apprehension on her own face.

"Hey." she said after a few seconds of silence.

"Hi." I mumbled back.

My eyes went to the door trying to work out how easy it would be to make my escape.

Bella sighed heavily "Look Alice I'm sorry. I know I wasn't being fair on Wednesday. I've got a lot going on at the moment, but I know I shouldn't have taken that out on you."

I stood there shuffling uncertainly, when I didn't say anything Bella continued.

"I'm jealous of you ok. A year ago I thought I had it all, you know. Perfect boyfriend, perfect life, I was popular and then one stupid mistake and I end up outcast and pregnant. It's like as my life turned to crap yours suddenly became perfect. You got Jasper, you started gaining confidence and I got jealous because you have so many options, your entire life ahead of you and I'm going to be stuck in Forks bringing up a kid." she shook her head "I know that was my decision, I want to keep this baby but" she shrugged "I don't know, it just gets too much sometimes."

I stared at Bella's swollen abdomen, she was ready to burst.

"I can understand that." I finally said slowly after I'd processed what she'd said. Her life really had been thrown out of control and I knew how that felt.

She smiled softly "So this is my last day of school." she said "I'm nearly due and I guess they don't want to risk me giving birth in the middle of class. Everything has been sorted though, so I can still graduate at the same time you guys do."

I nodded, unsure why she was telling me all this.

"If you get a free night sometime you can come over." she said.

I looked up in shock to find her looking hopeful. My eyes dropped to the floor.

"I don't think so Bella." I mumbled "We were friends for ten years." I began needing to explain myself "That means, meant a lot to me. But then things changed. I know you've apologised for that and I really do mean it when I say I don't hold a grudge against you or Edward. But, this isn't junior high anymore, we're different people now and we can't just slip back into our old friendship like we've been trying to do. Too much has happened." I finally plucked up the courage to look at her again "I don't hate you, I don't blame you and I do forgive you, but I can't forget B."

I saw a tear slip down her cheek and felt my own eyes well up.

"We've both got our own lives now and I don't think we fit into each others anymore. I'm sorry." I broke eye contact again "I really am, but, I just can't see us being friends like we were."

I felt terrible as I turned and walked out of the bathroom and headed for the cafeteria. At the same time it also felt like a massive weight had been lifted off me.

Jasper looked at me in panic as I walked over to him, a few of my tears had escaped and I knew I probably looked like crap.

"Mini, what's wrong?" he asked pulling me down onto his lap.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I leant my head against his chest and sighed happily.

"Nothing, honestly. Everything is fine." a smile broke on my face and I turned to look up at him "Everything is just fine Jazz."

**xx**

As soon as Bella left school Edward started to hang out with Mike, Jess and Tyler again.

I tried not to let that bother me, after all it was none of my business.

Lauren was no longer part of that group, after Halloween Jess had sort of disowned her, so now they weren't as mean as they used to be.

A few weeks later we heard that Bella had given birth to a healthy baby girl. I sent her a congratulations card but left it at that.

Bella had been right about one thing, I had options, I had my life to lead and I needed to focus on that. I'd promised myself I was going to start living my life properly and it was time I made good on that promise.

Time seemed to be flying by and all too soon it was December and Christmas was fast approaching.

I was looking forward to Christmas. Rosalie was going to spend it with us this year and as part of my promise to myself I intended to enjoy it. Usually I was depressed at not having my parents here, but not this year. I used to love Christmas and this year I planned on making the most of it.

There was only one thing that I was worrying about.

"What do you want for Christmas?" I asked Jasper one night as we sat cuddling on the sofa watching a movie.

I felt him shrug and pouted in annoyance. I'd never had to buy a present for a boyfriend before and I didn't know what to do.

"Jazz, seriously what do you want?" I asked turning around to look at him.

His eyes sparkled and I knew he wasn't taking this seriously.

He smirked "I can think of a couple of things that I wouldn't mind unwrapping on Christmas morning!" his eyes roved over me and he licked his lips slowly.

I rolled my eyes trying not to show how much he was affecting me, especially when his hands found there way under my top.

"I really don't mind Mini." he said pulling my top up over my head his mouth descended to my neck and I knew that was the end of that conversation.

He was so unhelpful sometimes!

* * *

Jasper's pov

I had never met anyone who got as excited over Christmas as Alice did.

The first day of December, as we opened the first window of our advent calendars, something Alice had insisted on, it was like a strange fire had been lit inside her and she was a women on a mission.

All I could really think about was the two weeks Emmett would be home and I'd be stuck back at my mums.

I had already brought Alice's present, I was being very organised for once. I felt very smug about that when she asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

Of course all I could come up with was Alice dressed up in a sexy Santa costume.

I really was developing a bit of a fetish for Alice in costume, even though it was something I hadn't dared suggest just yet.

I wonder if she'd consider giving me that for Christmas?

I smiled as my imagination went into overdrive thinking about it.

Christmas eve night she'd sneak out of her house when everyone was asleep. I'd leave my window open so she could get in, one of the bonuses of my bedroom being on the ground floor. She'd be wearing a long trench coat to keep her warm, slowly she'd peel that off revealing the red lace underwear trimmed with white fluff, she'd have paired that with the sexiest pair of red fuck me heels. Her nerves would get the better of her and she'd let out a giggle, her cheeks flushing a gorgeous shade of pink as she slowly made her way over to me. Getting onto her knees in front of me, her hands would slowly run up my things making sure I was more than ready for her before leaning forward to kiss down my stomach, her fingers pulling my boxers down as her mouth trailed lower….

"Jasper?"

My head snapped up to find my mums eyes on me, she raised an eyebrow at the dazed look on my face.

"You ok?"

I nodded, shuffling my chair closer to the table. "Sorry I was miles away." in a much nicer place!

"Yes I noticed." she teased "I just wanted to know if you would mind Carlisle spending Christmas with us."

I glanced between the two of them wondering why they suddenly felt the need to ask.

"I kind of assumed he would be." I said with a shrug, a little annoyed I'd been interrupted from my daydreams for such a trivial thing.

Then again, as I glance around the busy restaurant we were currently in, I realised it was probably a good thing I hadn't gotten any farther in my fantasy.

I really needed to control my thoughts when I was in public.

"Just wanted to check it was ok." Carlisle said, keeping his eyes on his plate. This was like a weird role reversal and I felt like the parent here.

"It's fine." I sighed trying not to take out the fact I couldn't see Alice over Christmas on my mum and Carlisle. No point ruining someone else's holiday.

My mums face broke into a bright smile and I rolled my eyes chucking.

"You two have it bad!" I teased.

My mums face flushed but Carlisle just smirked at me.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." he said winking at my mum.

"Ok, old people flirting is starting to creep me out." I said putting my arms up, as though trying to ward off evil.

My mum smacked my arm lightly "Less of the old." she huffed.

It was weird that after so many months mum and Carlisle still seemed to be in the honeymoon period, and as I looked over at them staring dreamily into each others eyes, trying very hard not to feel nauseous, it really was like watching two teenagers in love.

I rolled my eyes again, sometimes thinking of all the shit me and Alice had been through it was like a role reversal. We were the grownups, and they were the teenagers.

Then again, after all the shit my mum had suffered thanks to my dad, she deserved to be this happy and carefree.

I let my mind wander again, keeping it cleaner this time though.

Me and Alice really had been through a lot, but that was all over now, for good this time.

Her and Bella had made peace and Alice had closure about that. Lauren had been kicked out of her group meaning she was no longer in a position to bully anyone, and without Lauren's influence the others just kept to themselves.

I sighed happily. All in all, this was as good as it was going to get, as close to perfect as I could expect.

Now if only I could convince Alice to live out my little Christmas fantasy!

* * *

**Hmmm, should Jasper really be tempting fate?**

**We shall have to wait and see what Christmas brings.**

**I love hearing what you think so review. xx**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight, all recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter 33: Blood is thicker than water.**

Alice's pov

I awoke suddenly, early one morning several days before Christmas, I lay still wondering what had disturbed me, but the house was quiet.

_Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse._

I giggled quietly as the old rhyme came into my head.

Christmas was nearly upon us, but my excitement was tinged with a hint of sadness.

Emmett was due back in two days and I sighed sadly as I glanced over at Jasper, who was still passed out beside me, it would really be the perfect Christmas if I could wake up in Jasper's arms on Christmas morning, but I knew that was an imposable wish.

Rolling onto my stomach I just gazed down at him.

His face was peaceful in sleep, making him look younger.

My eyes moved down past his closed eyes to his deliciously kissable lips, just looking at them made my own lips tingle with memories of his kisses.

I carried on down his strong jaw line and neck to his broad shoulders, a little spattering of freckles on the left one.

Down his toned arms that would always make me feel safe and protected whenever they wrapped around me. His hands finishing off with his long fingers that knew exactly how to send me flying into the realms of ecstasy.

My eyes continued their path down his chest, his abs, not overly buff just nicely defined. I pouted slightly as I realised the duvet was covering the rest of him.

With a sigh my eyes went back to his face and I just marvelled at how lucky I was to have this man in my life, let alone in my bed.

He stirred rolling onto his side, one of his arms fell over my waist and he smiled softly pulling me closer making me giggle. I pressed closer to him shivering in pleasure as his breath brushed through my hair. My lips pressed to his chest in a lingering kiss and I felt his arms tighten around me.

I giggled again placing more kisses over his chest and I heard him chuckle softly.

"Now that is a nice way to be woken up." he murmured.

"Morning" I giggled still peppering kisses over his chest.

He moaned softly his hand running down my thigh and pulling it over his hip, I pulled myself up so I could kiss him properly.

It was a weird position I wasn't quite on top of him but we weren't exactly next to each other either.

I ran my lips down his jaw as his hand worked it's way up the inside of my thigh, he pouted a little when he came into contact with my panties, that I'd pulled back on after last nights lovemaking.

I leant in to suck his bottom lip into my mouth and giggled as he moaned softly. His hands moved to my bare back pulling me close and I sighed happily, life as a whole could never be perfect, but little moments like this could be. I nuzzled my head into Jasper's neck wishing this moment would never end.

"What the fuck!"

Me and Jasper jumped apart, I rolled over clutching the duvet to my chest, my eyes widened and I felt the colour drain from my face as I saw Emmett standing in my doorway looking ready to commit murder.

His usually sparkling blue eyes had turned nearly black, fury rolled off him.

"Em…" I began, unsure exactly how to explain this scene to him.

"Get the fuck away from her now." he spoke every word with deliberate calm as he glared at Jasper.

I thanked god Jasper had had the sense to put his boxers on last night.

He carefully climbed out of bed and passed me a discarded t-shirt to pull on, which I quickly did.

"Look Emmett…" Jasper began but was silenced with a glare.

"Get out." he hissed.

Tears stung my eyes "Em please."

"Don't Alice." he growled at me before turning back to Jasper "You, out now."

I finally broke my gaze away form my furious brother to look up at Jasper, his eyes met mine for a long moment before he looked back at Emmett.

"No."

The silence that followed was defining.

"I am not leaving her to deal with this on her own." Jasper clarified.

"Last chance to leave under your own steam Whitlock." Emmett spat out.

I scrambled out of bed towards Jasper. "Jazz please." I begged, I needed him to leave before Emmett did something to him.

My legs were shaking and I stumbled a little, Jasper's arms came up to steady me wrapping around my waist.

The next second Emmett was there pushing me gently aside as his fist contacted with Jasper's face.

I screamed loudly.

"Emmett stop it." Rosalie's voice sounded from the doorway.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Emmet roared dragging Jasper from the room.

I made to follow but Rosalie gave me a glare that made me freeze.

"Stay there." she warned picking up some of Jasper's clothes before following the boys.

I was shaking so hard my legs gave way and I collapsed in a undignified heap on the floor.

What the fuck had I done?

* * *

Jasper's pov

Fuck that hurt!

My face was throbbing from where Emmett had punched me.

I fought pointlessly as he quite literally threw me out the house. I had no chance of overpowering him.

"Hurt her and I'll fucking kill you." I yelled at him as he slammed the door in my face "Shit!" I roared.

I was so worried about Alice I didn't even realise I was standing there in just my boxers until Rosalie came out with some clothes in her arms.

I made to move past her, back into the house, but she blocked me. I glared at her but she didn't move.

"Don't be an idiot." she said "Emmett wont hurt her. Jasper you need to give him space, he's just had a pretty big shock."

Her eyes flickered over my face and filled with sadness "You should have someone look at that."

"What?" I asked and winced as pain shot through my jaw.

Oh yeah, he'd hit me.

"Just go home Jasper." she said softly giving me my clothes.

I shook my head stubbornly, no way in hell I was leaving Alice alone with Emmett when he was that angry.

Rosalie sighed understandingly. "You're not helping Alice by being here."

My heart fell as those words left her mouth. This was all my fault.

All I had wanted was to keep Alice safe and happy and I had just fucked up in spectacular fashion.

All the fight went out of me as I dragged myself to my car and slowly headed back to my mums. I didn't know what else to do.

I had the sense to pull my jeans on before I headed inside.

I felt sort of numb, even the bitter December air wasn't affecting me, despite my lack of clothing.

On auto pilot I headed through to the kitchen to find something cold to put on my face, that was now throbbing, a constant reminder of my idiocy.

_Told you, you should have just been honest with him when you had the chance._

I growled angrily.

Thanks, that's really helpful!

I didn't need reminding I'd fucked up, I knew that.

Something shattered against the kitchen floor and I looked up to find my mum staring at me open mouthed, the remnants of a cup of coffee on the floor at her feet.

"Jasper, what happened?" she asked breathlessly.

"Someone punched me." I mumbled resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

What did it fucking look like?

I pulled away as she tried to take a closer look "Get off." I grumbled angrily.

I wasn't in the mood to be treated like a fucking invalid, I was worried about Alice.

"Who?" she asked, her voice sparking with anger.

Shaking my head I reached into the freezer pulling out a bag of frozen peas. That would work.

Without giving her an answer I retreated to my bedroom and flung myself down onto my bed with a growl. Rolling onto my back I winced as I pressed the frozen bag to my aching face.

"Jasper." my mum called knocking on my door.

Fuck off!

"Go away." I moaned.

"You know I'm not going to leave you alone until I get some answers." she threatened.

Oh sure now she remembers she's the parent!

I groaned loudly hoping she'd get the hint I didn't want to talk, turns out she didn't.

"Fine." I yelled sitting up as she came in "Alice's brother came back early and caught us" I paused then decided I couldn't be bothered making this parent friendly "In a compromising position in her bed. He got pissed and hit me."

She gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head at me.

Yeah I'm just a big fucking disappointment!

"Let me look." she demanded grabbing my face before I could protest.

I winced and hissed in pain as she prodded the tender part of my face.

"It doesn't feel like he broke anything, but I could take you for an x-ray to be on the safe side."

I shook my head "No." I wasn't going anywhere until I'd heard from Alice.

She gave me a hard look then shook her head with a sigh.

"What?" I asked in annoyance.

"Nothing."

I rolled my eyes "Fine, then will you please leave me alone now."

She huffed at me angrily "I warned you not to mess this up." she muttered heading out of my room.

I clenched my teeth, to stop myself saying something, and regretted it as pain lanced down my jaw.

"I haven't messed it up." I snapped angrily.

At least I hoped I hadn't.

Taking my phone out I checked it ever ten seconds or so to see if I had a message form Alice.

Why did I have to insist on her sleeping topless? If we'd had more clothes on maybe Emmett wouldn't have reacted so badly, we could have played innocent.

Of course with Alice wearing nothing more than some skimpy lace panties it would take an idiot not to realise what we'd been up to the night before.

I placed the bag of peas back on my face and took a calming breath.

Rosalie was right, Emmett had had a big shock, he wouldn't hurt Alice and she'd be able to explain everything to him. In time he'd calm down and everything would be fine.

It was all going to be fine.

The worst thing that could happen would be I couldn't stay over anymore, but that was ok, I could live with that.

I just had to give him time to calm down.

* * *

Alice's pov

I pulled on a pair of shorts as I heard Emmett come storming back up the stairs. Looking up I found him standing in my doorway glaring down at me.

"I thought I could trust you." he said, barley controlled anger in his voice.

I bit my lip, I didn't know what to say.

_It's not what it looks like._

That would never work because it was exactly what it looked like.

"I love him Em." I mumbled after a while.

Something spasmed across his face "You're too young."

"I'm 17." I stood up on shaky legs and looked him directly in the eye "I'm not a little girl anymore."

Emmett just shook his head "Age has nothing to do with it Alice. You're just not ready for…that." he growled.

I frowned in confusion. "You just said I was too young, now you say that doesn't matter?"

He growled lowly and I knew now was a bad time to be a smart ass.

"I didn't expect you home today." I mumbled, mentally kicking myself.

_Shut the fuck up Alice, stop making it worse._

Emmett swelled with anger for a second "While the cats away!" he growled dangerously.

My eyes dropped and I shuffled nervously "I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"How long have you been…" he trailed off.

"Having sex?" I filled in, not listening to my own warning to not be a smart ass.

Emmett's face took on a sickly pallor and he nodded once stiffly.

"Why does that matter?" I asked quietly.

"How long?" he roared making me jump.

"After the summer." I mumbled quietly, wrapping my arms tight around myself. There was no point in lying now, I'd messed up and all I could do was try and rectify my mistake.

Emmett took a deep breath obviously trying to calm himself.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled lowly.

"Emmett please, it was my choice." I begged moving towards him a little, fear welled up at what he might do to Jasper.

I flinched back as his eyes found mine again "I'm sure that's what he made you believe." he growled out.

I shook my head firmly "He's not like that." I insisted.

Emmett shook his head clearly not listening to me "You are never going to see him again Alice." he said, his voice strangely calm.

Ice shards pierced my heart "Emmett please." I begged, tears stinging my eyes.

"You can't see him anymore." he stated firmly.

"Don't do this. Please Em, Don't make me choose." I sobbed.

He scowled down at me "You don't have a say here Alice. I know you don't want to believe this, but this is for your own good."

I shook my head, how could it be for my own good if it meant I couldn't see Jasper.

"Em please, I need him." I whispered.

The anger drained from Emmett's face replaced by a pain I couldn't understand as he looked down at my pathetic form, where I stood trembling before him.

"Alice." he sighed "I knew this was going to happen." he said quietly almost to himself. Taking a deep breath he faced me again "I'm sorry Ali, but that's my final word on the matter." he said sternly.

"You can't stop me seeing him." I screamed, fear at losing Jasper igniting my fighting spirit.

Anger flashed in Emmett's eyes again "Yes I can." he growled.

I glared up at him.

"I fucking mean it Alice, if needs be I'll pull you from that school and move you to Seattle where I can keep an eye on you."

My eyes widened as I looked at him trying to find any sign he wasn't serious, he was.

"You can't." I sobbed "That's not fair."

"Do not try to make out you're the victim here, you lied to me." he shook his head "I am in charge of you and if I can't trust you to be on your own I will fucking make sure I know exactly what you're up to. And you are never seeing that…boy again. End of story Alice."

I glared up at him, his face blurred as tears filled my eyes.

"I hate you." I spat.

His face crumbled as the weight of my words hit him but in that moment I didn't care.

I turned flinging myself back onto my bed sobbing.

"Alice…" Emmett began.

"leave her Em, for now just give her some space." Rosalie spoke up in a quiet voice and when I glanced up my door was closed and I was alone.

A cried a while longer before I'd had enough. Sitting up I reached over to grab the scrapbook I'd gotten for my birthday.

The few pages I had filled in contained memories of me and Jasper, photos from the Halloween dance, movie tickets, even a receipt from a restaurant he'd taken me to.

I smiled softly as Jasper grinned up at me from the pages.

As I flicked back to the beginning I found the pictures of me and Em, and at the very front a copy of the last family photo to be taken with our parents.

The small moments of happiness I'd slowly been building crumbled away piece by piece and another round of sobs overtook me.

Slamming the book shut I pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed my hoody from my closet. Slipping my feet into a pair of trainers I carefully snuck out my window.

I took off into the trees heading towards Jasper's house, the cold air stinging my wet cheeks where tears still flowed freely.

* * *

Jasper's pov

It was nearly noon when I finally heard from Alice. I had been expecting a message just to let me know everything was alright and I should maybe give Emmett a few days to calm down, but she'd come over at some point.

So imagine my surprise when I found her on my front step her eyes red from crying, tears still streaming down her face.

"Mini, what happened?" I asked in alarm pulling her inside and into my arms.

Her hands fisted the back of my shirt tightly as her small body shook.

"I love you." she mumbled into my chest.

Whenever she said those three words it always made me feel warm inside, but this time my blood ran cold.

"Alice." I tried to get her to look at me "Alice, did he hurt you?" I asked desperately.

She shook her head.

I led her into my room gently sitting us on the bed, she crawled onto my lap and I tightened my arms around her.

She hiccoughed a couple of times trying to reign in her crying before finally pulling back to look at me.

The utter desolation in her eyes cut straight into my heart.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled.

I ran a hand soothingly over her back, trying to get her to calm down, trying to get that look off her face.

"For what? For Emmett? It's hardly your fault." I said softly "We should have told him sooner, that's true, but I'm as much to blame for that."

Her eyes flickered to the side of my face that was bruising rather nicely, one of her small hands came up to slowly stroke it.

"It's fine Mini, I'll heal." I assured her, hugging her tight again.

Stretching up she placed a soft kiss on my cheek where Emmett's fist had contacted.

"He doesn't want me to see you anymore." she told me softly.

My face fell, well that was a complication.

"Ok." I said thinking quickly "So we can work something out, over time he'll come round."

She sobbed again and I squeezed her tight.

Sure Emmett hating me was a problem, but it wasn't the end of the world. He just needed some more time.

"I'm sorry Jasper." she chocked out again and I started to get a little confused.

"Mini don't be sorry, like I said we can figure something out"

She cut me off placing her fingers against my lips. I frowned as she took a deep breath and looked directly into my eyes, slowly she shook her head.

"No we wont." she said quietly.

Everything went blurry as my head span.

"What?" I asked blankly unable to grasp what she was saying.

"We wont figure something out Jazz." tears streamed down her face "I'm sorry but I can't."

I blinked dumbly a few times "Alice….What?"

"I love you, I will always love you Jazz and I don't regret one second I've spent with you."

My breathing started to speed up as her words began to make sense.

"Don't Alice." I begged my arms tightening around her "Don't do this. Please."

She shook her head again "I'm sorry Jasper, I'm really sorry."

"Then don't do it." I said simply "There's another way, there has to be another way. This isn't the answer Alice, please. I love you, please."

She sobbed quietly her hands gently cupped my face as she brought her lips to mine.

I kissed her back fiercely, putting everything I could into that one kiss, but it felt wrong.

She was kissing me goodbye.

"Alice please." I begged again as she pulled back.

"I love you Jasper, but Emmett's all I got left of my family, he's given up so much for me." her voice broke "I told him I hated him." she sobbed "I don't….I can't…I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

My arms tightened pinning her to my chest as she tried to move away.

"No, no, no." I could say nothing more, nothing was making much sense other than the fact Alice was leaving me and I couldn't let that happen "No. he'll come around he just needs time, catching us together wasn't the best way for him to find out, he had a shock, but he'll get over that." I rambled on in a desperate attempt to stop this from happening. To stop her from leaving.

Alice was very still in my arms, like she'd just given up, she let me ramble on hopelessly because she had already accepted what she saw as inevitable.

"No." I growled "This is not happening." I insisted my arms stayed tight around her and I buried my head in her neck breathing her in.

"Jasper." she lifted my head softly so our eyes met again "Please Jazz, let me go."

I blinked several times as tears burned in my eyes. Her eyes held mine filled with love and understanding and sadness and my arms loosened, the next second she was gone.

"I'll always love you Jazz." her voice drifted over me like the wind and when I looked up she was gone.

My breathing got erratic as I just stared at the door waiting for her to come back, she would realise this wasn't right and she'd come back.

Time passed and I was still staring at the closed door, but Alice didn't return.

I lifted a shaking hand to run through my hair and frowned when it brushed over my cheek and came away damp.

Wiping across my cheek I realised tears were running down my face.

My fathers voice echoed in my head.

_Real men don't cry, especially over some piece of ass._

I didn't even bother listening to it I collapsed back onto my bed letting the tears fall.

My reason for breathing had just walked out that door, what the fuck did anything else matter.

Nothing mattered, nothing was real.

Alice was gone.

* * *

Alice's pov

Walking away from Jasper was the single hardest thing I'd ever done in my life.

I made it to the safety of the trees before my legs gave way I crumbled to the frozen ground and cried.

The rain started to fall soaking me, but I didn't notice, I didn't notice the cold or the hard ground.

The only thing that registered was the unbearable pain in my chest that made it hard to breath.

It wasn't until the light started to fade that I realised I needed to get home. I somehow found the energy to pull myself back to my feet. I dragged myself back home in a daze, my feet just going one in front of the other until I saw the streetlights before me.

I could see Emmett pacing in the lounge through the window a worried look on his face.

He stopped as I stepped into the lounge.

"Alice." he gasped out in relief.

I stood there wobbling slightly, completely worn out from spending so much time crying and having eaten nothing all day.

"I don't hate you Em." I said with a sob "I don't hate you."

The next second he'd wrapped me in his protective bear hug and my body just went limp from exhaustion.

"Shit Alice, don't ever just disappear like that." he tried to reprimand me but his voice held no anger.

My teeth started to chatter, my clothes were soaked through and I was starting to feel cold.

Rosalie helped me get into a warm bath and not drown myself, which actually sounded very tempting at this moment. She didn't say a word as she helped me get into some warm pyjamas.

"I've really messed up. I'm sorry" I muttered not meeting her eyes, my voice was scratchy and I coughed a little.

She didn't respond, other than hugging me tight and pressing a kiss to my head.

Even though I hadn't eaten all day all I could do was pick at the steak Emmett had ordered in for me, the bit I did eat just made me feel sick.

No one spoke and after Emmett and Rosalie had finished I excused myself back to bed.

With shaky hands I pulled Jasper's t-shirt over my head, it still smelt like him, hugging his pillow close to me I squeezed my eyes tight shut and took a deep breath, trying to create some illusion that he was here with me, that I hadn't just broken his heart and walked away from him, that everything was still the same as it had been in those few seconds of perfection this morning.

But I couldn't fool myself because it was all wrong, Jasper wasn't here, his arms weren't wrapped around me keeping me safe.

My bed felt cold and empty and all I could do was cry myself to sleep as Jasper's smell assaulted me, mocking my empty bed, and empty heart.

* * *

**Emmett's reaction may seem a little extreme, but all will be explained next chapter.**

**Please don't hate me. Review. xx**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight all recognisable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Hey sorry I didn't do review replies for the last chapter but I've been working pretty much none stop this weekend, any free time I did get was spent editing this chapter, from the tone of the reviews I thought you'd prefer me to get it uploaded quickly! Lol**

**Anyway thanks for all the reviews, I do appreciate them.**

**Ok, Ok, I'll let you find out what happens now ; ) xx**

* * *

**Chapter 34: The truth hurts**

Alice's pov

_This Christmas was going to be the best ever!_

That thought was almost laughable, but I was in no mood to laugh.

I was in no mood to do anything, even breathing felt pointless at the moment. There was no point to anything without Jasper.

I tried, I tried so hard to be cheerful around Em and Rose, to not let my crippling despair ruin their Christmas.

Every smile hurt my face, but I did smile. I laughed when Emmett told a joke. I sang along to the radio with Rose when we cooked up some Christmas treats.

Then the time would come to go to bed and I'd fall back into the blackness of depression, crying myself into an uneasy sleep filled with the same nightmare of being lost and alone. Waking up in the early hours of the morning, my screams muffled by the pillow that was slowly losing Jasper's scent.

Everything hurt and nothing made it easier. Every room held some ghost of Jasper, the kitchen where we'd first properly talked as he'd helped me cook. The dinning room reminded me of the time he'd set up a candle lit dinner when he'd been apologising. The lounge was the worst, our first kiss, every night we'd cuddled on the sofa, when I'd played guitar for him. I couldn't even take a shower without breaking down, the memory of his fingers working through my hair assaulting me.

And of course my bedroom, my bed. Every moment we'd shared, ever kiss, every touch.

It was like a movie playing over and over in my head and no matter what I did I could not turn it off.

Emmett and Rosalie seemed to be taking my lead and just not talking about it. The closest we'd come to breaching the subject was the day after Emmett had come home.

Rosalie had gone to do some Christmas shopping leaving the two of us alone.

"Alice can we talk?" Emmett called from the lounge as I continued cleaning the already spotless kitchen in an attempt to keep busy.

Dread washed through me as I slowly dragged myself into the lounge.

"About what?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"You know what." Emmett sighed patting the sofa next to him for me to sit.

I moved to sit down as slowly as humanly possible in the hope of prolonging the inevitable that bit more.

I couldn't look at Emmett as we sat side by side, a strange mix of anger and guilt warred inside me.

"Look I know you don't want to do this, and god knows I wish we didn't have to. But, now matter how grown up you think you are, you are still my responsibility."

My desire to be doing anything but having this conversation increased tenfold with that statement.

"Were you safe?" Emmett finally asked in a strained voice.

I frowned in confusion.

"When you … you know, were you…did you use protection?" he chocked on his words slightly.

I quickly nodded in confirmation "Yeah." was all I managed to say. It wasn't the embarrassment at discussing my sex life with Emmett, it was the absolute agony that shot through me as the movie of me and Jasper together started playing again.

I bit my bottom lip trying to keep the tears at bay.

"That's something I suppose." Emmett sighed.

We lapsed into silence for a while, I opened my mouth several times wanting to ask Emmett why he was so against me seeing Jasper.

I mean I know catching us in bed together probably wasn't the best way for him to find out, but even so, his behaviour was a little extreme.

Then again, after I'd broken up with him, it was highly unlikely Jasper would want to see me again.

My teeth closed tighter around my bottom lip and I tasted blood.

I risked a quick peek up at Emmett to find his blue eyes soft as he looked down at me.

"If I'd been honest from the start" I began hesitantly.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight "I would have been able to stop it going this far." he said calmly.

My eyes dropped back to where my hands twisted in my lap "So you'd have never given him a chance?" I asked softly.

I heard him sigh heavily "Ali, it's my job to keep you safe, and you can hate me all you want, but that is what I intend to do."

"I don't hate you." I mumbled "I'm sorry I said that, and I'm sorry I lied. I never meant to, I just…there was never the right time to tell you." my voice was barely audible as I wrung my hands together.

"You could have found a time to tell me." Emmett said sternly and I knew he was right.

"You'd have just forced me to stop seeing him sooner." I snapped back, the anger winning out for a moment.

"Yes I would." he grumbled "Like I said, you can hate me for that all you want, but this is for your own good. You'll get over him." he stood up successfully ending the conversation.

After that whenever we were together everything got brushed under the carpet as we played happy families.

It was only my guilt over lying to Emmett and the way he'd found out that kept me smiling around him, and stopped the burning resentment from taking over. He didn't even know Jasper, and he wasn't willing to give him a chance.

Every time the anger rose it was chased back by that little voice reminding me this was all my fault.

Christmas day passed in a blur of fake happiness, I opened my presents with less enthusiasm than normal, trying not to let my mind wander to what Jasper would have given me if we were still…

Taking a sharp breath I quickly redirected my thoughts.

Once it was all over I had nothing left to do but count down the days until the holiday was over and I'd have to go back to school.

Emmett had said nothing more about moving me to Seattle, I was kind of wishing he would follow through on that threat because I knew there was no way I'd cope having to go to school and see Jasper everyday, and not be able to talk to him, hug him, touch him.

I took a deep breath as the familiar pain stabbed through my heart, my breath came out as a sob.

"Alice." I looked up to find Rose stood in my doorway.

I tried to force out my fake smile but I just couldn't pull it off this time and another sob broke free.

With a sigh Rosalie came to perch on the edge of my bed, I glanced up at her nervously not sure what to expect, but she just extended an arm pulling me in for a hug.

I screwed my face up trying to hold onto some control and failed miserably.

"It hurts." I whimpered.

Her fingers ran slowly through my hair "I know it does Alice." she sighed softly.

"I know I shouldn't have lied." I said, now I'd started I couldn't seem to stop "But I knew he'd overreact, and I was so happy, I didn't want to ruin that and now everything's gone wrong." I sobbed "God Rosalie I miss him so much." I clung to her tightly "I don't know what I'm gonna do."

She stayed quiet just letting me get it all out of my system, her fingers still combing through my hair.

"And even if Em forgives me, Jasper never will." I broke off moaning as pain stabbed me at the very mention of his name.

"Why is it so hard?" I screamed, unable to keep the pain in anymore "Why don't I get to be happy? Why do I always have to lose everything?"

All the hurt and anger, the guilt and loss. Everything I'd been bottling up for two weeks came bursting out of me and I cried and cried against Rosalie, my tears soaking into her blouse. She held me tight, rocking me gently.

After what felt like hours I had finally run out of tears and I felt completely drained as I leant heavily against Rosalie.

"You know everyone says love is such a wonderful thing." I mumbled in a dead sort of voice "But it really fucking hurts."

Rosalie moved me so I was sitting up against my headboard, she gave me a small reassuring smile before disappearing from my room. My eyes stung with the need to cry again, but I just didn't have any tears left.

She returned a few minutes later with two mugs of hot chocolate in her hands and a large box of chocolates tucked under her arm.

I felt my face stretch into a genuine smile for once as she settled on my bed cross legged opposite me, the box of chocolates resting between us and I immediately dug in hoping the treats could offer some form of comfort, but it turned to ash in my mouth, the taste took me back to a time and place, once again filled with Jasper.

"First loves always the hardest." Rose said softly eating a chocolate herself "Everything is so new and exciting." she smiled softly at me "How long have you, been more than friends?" she asked slowly.

I bit my lip swallowing the guilt that clogged up my throat.

_May as well be honest Alice, it's not like you have anything left to lose._

"Beginning of March." I mumbled unable to meet her eyes.

Silence followed and I risked a glance to find her face frozen in shock, biting my lip I looked back down.

Rosalie let out a slow breath "But you didn't have sex until September?" she asked sounding slightly amazed.

I shook my head focusing my eyes on the pattern on my duvet.

"I wasn't ready." I mumbled "I thought I was after his dads wedding." I smiled at the memory "That's the first time he told me he loved me and I thought I wanted to, but when we got home I just had this massive panic attack about it." I took a steadying breath "Jasper was great though, he didn't get mad or anything, he was so sweet and understanding and…" I trailed off.

"So he didn't pressure you?" she asked carefully.

I shook my head "No." I sighed softly "Even our first time, he made sure I really wanted to." I looked up at her slowly "Why is Emmett being so stubborn about this? Why wont the even give Jasper a chance? I mean he liked him when he thought we were just friends." I sighed looking down again.

Rosalie shook her head "I can't answer that Alice, Emmett is trying to do what he thinks is best for you."

I opened my mouth to protest but she held up a hand silencing me.

"I knew this was coming." she began "The way the two of you would look at each other, it was pretty obvious there was something there. But I believed you when you said nothing had happened yet." she gave me a stern look and I looked down guiltily "Emmett was fine with you being friends because it was safer."

I frowned in annoyance "Safer how?" I asked confused.

"You were less likely to get hurt." Rosalie explained.

I thought about Bella and scoffed a little, friends could hurt you just as much, if not more.

"Jasper would never hurt me." I said stubbornly "He loves me."

"So what are you going to do?"

I looked up in surprise when she asked me that. Then just shrugged "It wont really matter when I'm in Seattle."

Rosalie shook her head "Emmett wont actually pull you out of school, not when you're this close to graduating. So what are you going to do after the holiday?"

My eyes widened a little because I had no idea. I had been hoping Emmett would make good his threat to move me to Seattle so I could avoid Jasper.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

Rosalie sighed "He'll start coming home every night again, to make sure." she sounded sad and guilt burned me again. Once again I'd managed to fuck up everyone else's life along with my own.

"He doesn't need to." I mumbled. My tear ducts seemed to have restocked as moisture built up in my eyes again "I broke up with Jasper, he's not going to want me back after that." I stopped as crippling pain ripped through my chest and I immediately curled in on myself trying to ease it.

He'd begged me not to go and I'd still walked away from him, he'd never forgive me for that.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do Rose, because I have no idea what I'm meant to do without him." tears started to fall "I've just lost the best thing that ever happened to me and I have no one to blame but myself."

I couldn't speak after that, the pain took over and I broke down again. Rosalie stayed with me as I cried myself as sleep, as was my newest tradition. Had I been paying attention I'd have noticed Emmet moving away from my open door.

* * *

Jasper's pov

2 weeks, 14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 minutes, 1,209,600 seconds since I'd last seen Alice and I'd barely moved.

My mum had insisted on me joining the world on Christmas day, but otherwise I hadn't left my bed.

I was in serious need of both a shower and a shave, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I couldn't bring myself to care about anything.

Alice was gone from my life and I had no one to blame but myself, because I was a fucking coward who didn't have the balls to admit to the most important person in her life just how much I loved her, just how much I would willingly do for her.

I chuckled darkly, I didn't deserve her though. In my two weeks of purgatory I had come to this simple conclusion. I professed to love Alice, yet I had sat back and let her lie to her brother and I had done nothing to change that. I had let her suffer to make my own life easier. Therefore I didn't deserve her.

I did miss her though. I missed her smile, her laugh, her smell. I missed the way her eyes would roll in annoyance when I wound her up, how she'd bite her lip when she got nervous or was unsure about something. I missed holding her in my arms as I slept, I missed all the little noises she made when I touched her, and kissed her and made love to her. I missed how she'd snuggle up in my arms, her head nestled against my chest like she was made to fit there, in my arms. I missed how before she fell asleep she'd always place a little kiss on my chest.

I just missed her, it was like a physical ache, like I'd lost a limb or something. I wasn't complete without her, I'd lost part of myself.

I was lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling, for once my mind was blank. It was peaceful when I thought of nothing, the ache of loss wasn't quite as strong when I didn't think of her, of course there was nothing else to think about so my mind was as blank as the white expanse above me.

A loud knock on the front door invaded the peaceful nothingness I was floating in. I blinked once and everything came flooding back, deep set pain splintered out from my fractured heart as I thought back two weeks to when it had been Alice at the front door and my world had ended up being ripped apart.

The knocking sounded again. I frowned, why hadn't my mum answered it already?

It was a few seconds before I realised she was probably at work, or at Carlisle's, avoiding the haze of depression I was infecting the house with.

With a heavy sigh I dragged myself up from the bed, almost welcoming whatever distraction awaited me on the other side of the door.

Opening it I blinked several times trying to comprehend what I was seeing.

Emmett was stood on my doorstep scowling at me angrily.

I felt my own anger spark, it was all his fault. It quickly fizzled out when I reminded myself it was, infact, all my fault.

Folding my arms I scowled back at him "What do you want?" I asked my voice weaker than I'd wanted from spending two weeks as a mute.

Just because I wasn't blaming him for the sorry mess I found myself in didn't mean I couldn't be upset at him for the part he'd played in making Alice leave me.

If he'd just come home when he'd said rather than showing up early.

"Can I come in?" he asked, though he sounded unenthusiastic.

I shrugged, stepping back so he could enter if he wanted and headed for the lounge. I heard the door close and couldn't even bring myself to care there was a very good chance he was here to kill me while there were no witnesses.

"You look like shit." he said as he sat down in the armchair opposite me.

I just shrugged again and he scoffed.

"Why are you here?" I finally asked when he said no more.

He sighed heavily "Because you need to understand something."

"Understand what? Why you forced her to leave me?" I spat angrily.

Emmett bristled "Don't" he growled "Because you have no idea ok, you don't know. You come here and think you know her and know what's best but you weren't there when…" he broke off and I looked at him in alarm as grief seemed to crush him, pulling him down.

For possibly the first time ever I thought about the fact that Emmett too had lost his parents. He'd been forced to grow up and take care of his sister, whilst also dealing with his own loss. Emmett too had been through hell.

He sighed heavily leaning back and ran his hands over his face.

"She's never going to get over you." he said softly.

I just stayed quiet wondering what the fuck all this was about, what was it about this family, they couldn't just tell you things, everything had to be a fucking riddle.

"The stupid thing is" he carried on "I knew this was going to happen, but when you came along I was so pleased she had a friend I didn't see the danger you posed."

"What danger?" I asked trying not to get angry again. I wasn't a danger, I'd never do anything to hurt Alice.

_Except make her fall out with the only family she has._

I deflated again.

"Do you know why I always leave Alice to cook?" he asked ignoring my question completely.

His voice was strained and I knew this was hard for him to talk about.

"Not really." I admitted, I'd always just assumed he couldn't cook, or was lazy.

"She loves cooking." he spoke softly almost to himself "Mum taught her, it was something they shared, just like guitar."

He looked at me as though I was meant to understand but as usual my brain wasn't keeping up.

"You know how she stopped playing after they died." he pressed.

I nodded slowly a sense of dread settling over me.

"It's because it reminder her of mum and she couldn't face that." he laughed once but it held no humour "No matter how tough she acts Alice just doesn't know how to deal with her grief, she's tried ignoring it, she's tried letting it out, she's tried focussing on the good times but she never actually deals with it. She's still as lost and frightened as she was the day we lost them." he sighed "Because she associated guitar with mum she couldn't face playing without her, and because she associated food and cooking with mum." he shook his head "For the first week she wouldn't eat, she point blank refused to go near food, I didn't know what to do, she wouldn't talk to anyone. She still doesn't realise just how serious it was. It's like she can't even remember how close she was to…" he trailed off

I was just starring at him in complete shock "She could have…" I couldn't actually say it.

Emmett nodded "She was starving herself, it was getting to the point I thought I'd have to have her committed or something. Then, completely out of the blue, one morning I went downstairs to find her in the kitchen cooking up the biggest breakfast you've ever seen. I was so relieved she was actually going to eat something I didn't dare say anything or try to take over just in case." he shook his head "I still have no idea what snapped her out of it and I just let her get on with it because" he paused "I nearly lost her Jasper." he admitted in a small voice.

I just sat there in stunned silence having no idea what to say. Emmett's hands came up to his face and when he removed them to look back at me his eyes were slightly red.

"I believe you when you say you love her Jasper, but that doesn't mean you're not going to hurt her." he said softly "She is setting herself up to get hurt again. She's already so dependant on you and when you leave she is going to be devastated. She'd never get over that."

"Who says I'm leaving?" I snapped angrily "You're the one that forced me away."

For once the look he gave me wasn't a glare, "I was 17 a few years back Jasper I know how it goes."

I shook my head stubbornly, yes I knew how it went as well, I'd done it enough times in Texas, but not with Alice.

"When you leave her it will destroy her because she can't cope. She's given herself completely to you. And I don't mean…" he trailed off looking a little ill.

"You're the only person she's truly let in, don't you understand how dangerous that is? How much trust she's actually put in you? What you're asking me to let her risk? If you were in my shoes Jasper what would you do?" he asked I just stared back blankly so he carried on.

"All I have ever wanted is for my sister to be happy, and I have done, and will do, whatever it takes to do that." he laughed once without humour "She tries so hard to act happy for my sake, always hiding just how much she's hurting, but I can see straight through her. So what do I do? Risk her being completely destroyed for a few years of young love or risk her hating me forever and never trusting anyone again? She'd never let anyone in but at least, that way, she would be safe."

Silence descended for a few minutes.

"I still have no idea why you're here." I finally said after a while.

Emmett looked at me, dislike in every part of his face "I told you I would do whatever I had to to make her happy, and no matter how much she pretends, right now she isn't." he shook his head "Ever since she met you she's been the happiest I've seen her for years."

I didn't dare hope this was going where I thought it was.

He glared at me angrily. "You have no idea how much I hate you." he said and I felt a slight tremor of fear as I saw the burning hatred in his eyes. "Because the truth is I don't have a choice. I can't protect her from this because I can see it's killing her now, it's too late for me to stop this before it goes too far because it'd gone too far, like I said she's given herself completely to you, and she can't survive without you." he was leaning towards me, anger and hate still burning in his eyes.

I swallowed thickly "I know you may not believe me, but I love Alice, more than anything, I would do anything for her. And I know I fucked up Emmett, I know we shouldn't have lied to you." I paused, the next words out of my mouth could either save me or kill me "I know she depends on me, I know she needs me, and the truth is I" I took another deep breath "I like that she does."

Emmett's fury seemed to increase and I hurried to explain myself before I lost the chance.

"I like it because it actually makes me feel useful, it makes me feel like I can do some good for her. She is so much better than me, and you're right she probably deserves better but the truth is I need her too. And I know we're only 17, but our age doesn't change the way I feel and it never will. I love her now and I know I'll love her forever."

I waited, bracing myself for Emmett's fury to be unleashed on me, but it never came.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked slowly "I mean I love Rose, and I hope to god we'll last, but you can never know for certain."

I held back form my automatic answer of 'I know' because that was the typical teenage lovers response and Emmett was right, first love very rarely worked out.

"I don't know." I finally responded "You're right, something could part us, but I prey it never does, and I do know how much it would kill Alice if it did happen. But, I know it's cliché, but I never have felt this way about anyone. Ever since I first spent any real time with her Alice is the only girl who has been on my mind. I am 17 and before Alice I was a typical 17 year old, playing the field, fucking around. I'm not gonna lie. But then I met her and it's like everything changed." I shook my head "I can't give you a better guarantee than that, for purely selfish reasons alone I would never risk losing her because I need her, she makes me a better person."

I was rambling and I knew it, but I was desperate at this point, I needed him to know I was serious, I needed to try and show him I did care, I wasn't just fucking his sister over.

Emmett took a deep calming breath "Jasper take a shower, seriously you need one, and a shave, then come around so you two can talk."

I sucked in a sharp breath "You mean…"

"I mean." he growled "I can't stop you two being together and I wont. You don't have my blessing and you don't have my trust and I wasn't joking when I said I hate you. But you make her happy, and as much as I may regret this in the long run, all I want is for her to be happy."

I nodded, not really listening, not really caring. His blessing, his trust I could earn that. I could prove to him I loved his sister and her happiness was all I cared about too.

He stood heading towards the door, I stood too and jumped back a little when I realised he'd stopped and was glaring at me again.

"I am warning you now Jasper, if you ever, ever, do anything to hurt my sister I will kill you."

The hatred burned in his eyes again and I knew he wasn't lying, he would more than happily kill me, probably painfully and slowly, but I didn't need to worry because I had no intention of hurting Alice, ever again.

And if I ever did I'd more than deserve whatever Emmett did to me.

Closing the door behind him I ran to the bathroom, the hot water of the shower washing away two weeks worth of dirt and depression.

I was getting Alice back.

* * *

**So I hope that explains Emmett's behaviour a little more, and makes you forgive him.**

**Review, I'd love to make it to 300. xx**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 35: Promises **

Alice's pov

After my talk with Rosalie I didn't see the point in pretending anymore, I just went through the motions, the weight of my depression too heavy to fight against.

I'd be back to school in a few days and in truth I was absolutely terrified at the thought of having to see Jasper. I had to sit next to him for two lessons, I'd never survive that.

During lunch I noticed Emmett kept glancing between me and the clock on the oven.

I met his eyes as they flickered back to me and frowned questioningly.

He just shrugged and went back to his lunch.

I was working my way through the dishes when a frantic knocking sounded on the front door. I just ignored it, it wasn't going to be anyone for me.

They knocked again.

"Ali, get that would you squirt." Emmett called.

I huffed in irritation "Sure Em it's not like I'm busy or anything." I muttered as I stomped into the hall.

I swear my heart stopped beating as I opened it and saw Jasper stood on the porch.

I blinked hard several times, but he didn't disappear.

His blue eyes found mine and everything went blurry as tears filled my eyes.

"Jazz." I chocked.

He stepped towards me and I took an immediate step back, blinking back my tears enough to see pain flood his face.

"Alice?" my eyes fluttered closed as the sound of his voice washed over me soothingly.

I felt him move towards me again.

"Emmett" was all I managed to stammer out as I opened my eyes seeing him step forward again.

"It's ok." Jasper said softly "He invited me over."

With agonising slowness his hands came up to cup my face. His thumbs brushing the stray tears from my cheeks. I whimpered pathetically at the contact.

I must be dreaming, or hallucinating, because there was no way Jasper could be here and actually want to touch me like this, like I hadn't broken his heart. But, in truth, I didn't care if I had gone insane because it was nice, and it was familiar, and it made me feel better than I had in weeks.

"I've missed you." he murmured softly, his thumbs still tracing softly over my cheeks sending sparks of electricity through me.

I raised my eyes to meet his again "I'm so sorry." was all I could think of to say.

He smiled his smile and leant in bringing his lips to mine. His arms shot down to wrap around my waist the second our lips touched because my legs gave way and I nearly collapsed to the floor.

Jasper held me upright, he steadied me, one arm remained around my waist in support, his other came back to caress my face as he pulled me in for another kiss.

This time I completely lost my head, my arms locked around his neck and I fought back, my mouth desperate. My eyes were screwed shut, scared that when I opened them he'd be gone.

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly brought me back down to earth and me and Jasper broke apart. I knew Emmett was stood in the hall with Rosalie, I knew it had been him who had cleared his throat, but I couldn't look away from Jasper's eyes, because he was still here.

My fingers tangled into the familiar silky curls of his hair, his eyes were locked on mine.

"Em we're going out for a while." he addressed my brother but never broke his gaze from me "That ok?"

Emmett sighed unhappily "Have her back before six." he grumbled.

Jasper nodded in confirmation his eyes still burning into mine.

I pushed my feet into a pair of trainers and grabbed my coat, still unable to move my eyes from Jasper.

It wasn't until we got to the car I realised I was in sweatpants and an old sweater with holes in the sleeve.

Oh well, I looked like shit anyway.

Neither of us spoke as he drove, my eyes were still locked on him, he hadn't changed, yet at the same time he looked different. Even more beautiful, even more incredible, even more out of my league.

My bottom lip trembled as I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

"Where are we going?" I finally chocked out.

Jasper glanced over and smiled "Somewhere special." was all he said.

He stopped his car on a cliff top down at La Push. Without a word he leapt out and came around to open my door, offering his hand to help me out.

I just stared at it like an idiot.

How could he be like this? How could he not hate me after what I'd done?

"Come on Mini, don't you trust me?" he teased.

The simple, easy, use of his nickname for me caused tears to fill my eyes.

Hesitantly I took his hand, climbing out of the car.

I kept my eyes on the floor as he led me down the track that led to the beach and across the sand.

It wasn't until he stopped that I looked up to find out where we were and frowned a little in confusion.

I looked up at Jasper for some form of explanation, but everything faded as I met his eyes again.

He was looking down at me with such an intense look of love burning in his eyes, it made more tears form in my eyes until they started to spill over.

"I'm sorry." I chocked out.

"Shh, it's ok." he mumbled soothingly, he tried to wrap his arms around me but I pulled back shaking my head. "Alice?"

"Why?….how?….Jasper." I whimpered, wanting nothing more than for him to take me in his arms and take all the hurt away. Yet, at the same time, I wanted him to yell at me for leaving him, I wanted him to be mad at me.

My emotions were flying out of control, I couldn't understand what I was feeling or why I was feeling it. After two weeks of trying to stay in control of everything it just exploded out of me.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I'm sorry I hurt you. I couldn't…I thought I was doing the right thing. And Emmett was so mad and I thought he was going to do something to you and I didn't know what to do, cause I'm not worth you getting hurt." I babbled on, not listening to what I was actually saying as I tried to apologise.

Jasper just stood there calmly letting me run out of steam which I eventually did.

"You finished?" he asked, one half of his mouth turning up in a smirk.

I nodded numbly half expecting him to walk away and just leave me stranded here.

"Do you know where we are?" he asked instead.

I looked around at our surroundings "On the beach?"

Jasper chuckled making my heart beat a little faster "Yeah we're on the beach, but I was thinking a little more specific than that."

I looked round again but I didn't know what he meant so I just shook my head.

The wind picked up and I shivered.

Jasper stepped forward carefully and wrapped a blanket around me. I pulled it closer wondering how I'd missed him carrying this.

When I didn't flinch away from his touch he pulled me closer to the cliff face and settled us down on the ground, his arms wrapped around me. I leant back against him feeling calm.

"You brought me here once, back when we were just friends. Do you remember?" he whispered in my ear.

I looked around again and suddenly knew where we were. I smiled a little "Because you were scared of the rain." I teased in a small voice.

He sighed happily and I felt his lips brush against my neck making my eyes flutter closed.

"I had originally planned on being all romantic and making a night out of this, but with Emmett wanting you home before six we can't do that." his voice sounded a little sad.

"We could always come back again." I said, I held my breath still waiting for him to leave, or tell me he never wanted to see me again.

"We could." he agreed and I let out my breath in relief "But it wouldn't be the same, because what I have to say, what I planned on telling you. I think you need to hear it now."

My body turned to liquid as his lips pressed to my temple.

"Do you remember what you told me last time we were here?" he asked quietly.

I nodded "That I couldn't stay away from you." I mumbled, remembering how embarrassed I'd been to admit that.

Jasper just hummed softly, the vibration doing interesting things to me, given our close proximity.

"When I overheard what Lauren was saying to you I got so angry at her, but it was more than that, I was also worried that you'd listen to her and stop hanging out with me."

His voice was quiet but I was hanging on every word.

"When we first got to the cliff top the anger was the strongest but then." he chuckled once "You started dancing around in the rain, and I swear, you had never looked more beautiful. It was then I realised just how great my fear was of losing you. Even if all you wanted was to just be friends."

I snuggled closer to him, turning sideways so I could rest my head against his chest.

"I needed to know I never would, and when you said that, it took everything I had not to kiss you." he pressed a kiss to my head, as though emphasising his point "It may have taken a while for me to figure out I was in love with you, but here, on this beach, was when I realised I could never live without you."

He spoke so calmly, there was no fake sentiment, no over the top romantic gesture. He was simply telling me the honest truth.

But, while it made me feel loved and safe, it also made me feel worse about leaving him, about not even trying to fight for him. I'd just given him up.

My fingers tensed pulling me closer to him as my breathing picked up.

"Mini what?" Jasper asked in panic.

I twisted around so I was sitting up on my knees, straddling his lap.

"I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry, and I love you, and I'm never going to leave you again and I love you and I'm sorry." I rushed out between sobs.

"Shhh." he hushed me again soothingly, one hand rubbing my back, the other came to my face "It's ok, calm down." his eyes met mine in concern "Mini, you gotta calm down for me." he said his voice serious.

I wasn't sure what he meant, then my chest started to feel tight and I realised I was hyperventilating. However, realising this only made it worse.

Both Jasper's hands came to my face "Alice you have to calm down." he insisted forcing my eyes to his "Breath for me, deep breath come on."

He coached me through it calmly, though I could see the worry and panic dancing in his eyes.

"Just breath, its ok. I know you're sorry and I forgive you and I love you too and everything will be fine, as long as you breath."

Blame it on oxygen deprivation but the second my breathing had calmed I crushed my lips to his desperately.

"Alice, you need to breath." he spoke against my lips, trying to pull back, but my fingers tightened in his hair keeping us glued together.

He fought me for a bit longer until he'd either assured himself I wasn't going to pass out, or just gave into his own desire.

He was suddenly kissing me back hard, his tongue demanding entrance to my mouth as he sucked my bottom lip between his.

He growled out in frustration as I pulled back.

"Does this mean we're back together?" I asked slowly.

"Yes." Jasper stated, trying to kiss me again, only to whine as I kept him back.

"You're really just gonna forgive me like that?" I asked unsure, still not believing he could let me off that easily for all the pain I'd put him through.

"Yes." he insisted. I leant back keeping a distance between us as he leant in for a kiss again.

"But…"

"Mini, I fucking forgive you." he growled angrily "I get it ok, you'd just had your first real fight with Emmett and you didn't want to lose the only family you have left, so you took the only other route you could see. That's fine, I understand and I forgive you, because I love you and all I want is to be with you, and I swear to god if you don't let me kiss you…"

He glared down at me leaving the threat open, but all I could do was giggle happily.

This time as he leant in I met his kiss enthusiastically. I hadn't realised how far back I was leaning, until Jasper leant his weight on me and I fell backwards Jasper on top of me. The best feeling in the world.

The passion began to build as our lips continued moving together and I popped the button of his jeans letting one hand slide inside and moaning into his mouth as my hand closed around him, I'd missed that too!

"Alice." he moaned my name, making me giggle again. "Stop Mini."

"Why?" I asked withdrawing my hand reluctantly.

"It's half five." he sighed.

Propping myself up on my elbows I kissed him again "So?"

"So Emmett want's you home before six." he reminded me.

With a groan I flopped back onto the sand "Cock blocker." I huffed.

"Hey." Jasper smiled as he pulled me to my feet "We're lucky he's even letting me be alone with you. I think it's best we stick to his rules." he gave me a cheeky grin "For now at least."

I couldn't stop smiling as he drove me home. I knew we had a way to go getting Emmett on side, but Jasper still loved me, he didn't hate me for leaving him and that was all I needed for today.

I looked over at him not believing I could be this lucky, how the hell had I managed to get Jasper? Seriously, he was the greatest guy in the world and he wanted to be with me! It made no sense.

Jasper sighed sadly as he pulled onto my drive but grinned when he checked the time "Ten to six. Come on!"

I giggled "Your punctuality is impressive." I teased him.

He scowled at me and hopped out the car to come open my door. I loved that being such a gentleman seemed to come naturally to him.

Taking his hand I let him help me out the car, rolling my eyes as the front door opened and Emmett stood there scowling down at us, his arms folded.

"I'll call you later." Jasper murmured, leaning in to kiss my cheek "I love you Mini."

My arms snaked around his neck hugging him tight, I wasn't ready to let him go yet "Love you too Jazz." I told him pulling back I smiled up at him "Always have, always will." I swore.

I stepped back holding his hand tightly, trying to maintain contact for as long as possible as I headed towards the door.

Emmett gave Jasper a curt nod as I reached the front door. I stood stubbornly in the doorway stopping Emmett shutting the door as I waved Jasper off.

Emmett just rolled his eyes at me, once Jasper's car was out of sight I turned and threw my arms around his waist squeezing him tight.

"Thank you." I whispered looking up into his eyes so he could see just how much it meant to me that he would let me see Jasper.

He shrugged "I don't have much choice." he said gruffly giving me a steady look "I'm not going to be all strict with rules or anything, mainly because I'm not going to be here to enforce them." he sighed heavily "I'm going to trust you to be sensible, but this is your only chance Alice, don't let me down."

I nodded steadily.

He sighed again then smiled at me "You know I just don't want you getting hurt."

"I know Em." I said hugging him again "And I appreciate that, I do." I bit my lip wondering how to explain this without hurting him "Em, for three years you were the most important person in my life. Just because I have Jasper now doesn't mean I need you any less. I just need him too."

"I can see that." he mumbled unhappily. "I want you to be happy Alice and I can see he makes you happy but"

"He's not gonna hurt me Emmett." I assured.

"I wanna believe that Ali." he said slowly "But, it's hard for me to trust you with someone else."

"You trusted him when we were friends." I pointed out "He hasn't changed."

Emmett looked down at me "His intentions have." he said sternly "I'll give him a chance Alice, that I can promise, but he has a lot to prove to me."

I smiled happily, if Emmett was going to give Jasper a chance he'd soon see how great he was.

"I love you Em." I said.

"Love you too squirt." he chuckled "And I hate that you're growing up." he whined pulling me in for another hug.

"I know." I sighed "But I'm not ready to live without my big brother yet." I assured him.

"Hey you're never gonna be ready to live without your big brother." he teased, making me squeal as he tickled me.

"Rosalie!" I screamed as Emmett continued to attack me.

She appeared from the lounge a smile on her face as she watched us.

"Don't just stand there." I gasped out "Make him stop."

I had survived two weeks of hell but now everything was ok, better than ok, I had my big brother back, I had Jasper back.

I couldn't stop laughing as I watched Rosalie punish Emmett for tickling me, the poor guy was so whipped.

Today was about as good as life was going to get.

There was just one more thing that could make today absolutely perfect. I grinned. I wonder if I could pull it off?

* * *

Jasper's pov

As I lay in bed that night I couldn't keep the stupid smile off my face.

Sure Emmett was being strict with the rules but at least he was letting me see Alice and I would happily comply to all his demands if it kept me in Alice's life.

I was too happy to sleep, all I could do was bask in the memory of this afternoon when I'd finally got to see her again.

A light tapping on my window broke through my thoughts. I sat up, wondering if I'd imagined it when it sounded again.

Climbing slowly out of bed I crept over to open the window and came face to face with the girl constantly on my mind.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"At the moment I'm freezing to death! So how's about you let me in?" she grinned.

I helped her climb through the window. Stepping forward to close it once she was inside I noticed her car was nowhere in sight.

"Did you walk here?" my voice was tinged with anger.

"Yeah." she said like it was obvious, pulling off her coat, scarf and gloves.

"Mini, it's dark. That's dangerous." I reprimanded.

She just rolled her eyes "It's Forks. What do you think we've got werewolves running through the woods or something?"

I tried to scowl at her but couldn't keep it up because she gave me a small smile and I forgot why I was angry with her.

"I take it Emmett doesn't know you're here." I said as she sat on the edge of my bed.

She bit her lip and shook her head "I needed to see you." she mumbled.

"Alice." I sighed in exasperation "What if he found out?"

"I don't care." she said wrapping her arms around my neck, her lips came to kiss down my jaw and it took a lot to remember what we were talking about.

"You will if he stops me seeing you again." I warned.

She shook her head "I wont let him." she murmured, moving so she was sat in my lap, her arms and legs locked around me "I am never, never, never, letting you go again."

Her lips found mine, she kissed me hungrily and I responded in kind, suddenly not caring if Emmett came storming in and found us again. Who needs both legs intact anyway?

My hands found their way under her sweater, my fingers lightly traced the smooth skin of her stomach. Alice moaned softly and any self control I may have been clinging to flew out the window. I rolled pinning her beneath me, our clothes were discarded in a frantic tussle.

My eyes found Alice's and I managed to calm myself down enough to realise I didn't want to rush this. Guilt still swirled in the depths of her green eyes. Leaning in I kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose and finally her mouth.

"Stop feeling guilty." I murmured.

"I didn't even try to fight for you." she whispered.

My hand came up to cup her cheek "Alice you're here, giving me a second chance." I kissed my way down her neck "I understand why you broke up with me." I murmured against her collar bone "And I don't blame you. I love you." I whispered moving lower.

She moaned softly as I reached her breasts "Just don't do it again." I said sitting up to look at her.

She whimpered as I broke contact "Never again." she promised.

With a smirk I went back to reacquainting myself with her. Her smell, her taste, the feel of her skin against mine.

Her hand found mine and our fingers instinctively intertwined, I let her take over me completely, all I could smell, all I could see, all I could feel was her. Her shallow breath and soft moans were the sweetest music to my ears.

I couldn't get enough of her, I was like a starved man getting his first meal and I was savouring every second of it.

Immeasurable amounts of time passed as we made up for our two weeks apart.

"I'm glad you snuck over." I murmured running my fingers through her hair as she rested her head on my chest, fitting perfectly against me.

"Hmmm." Alice just sighed happily "I meant it Jazz, I'm never letting you go again." she snuggled closer to me her arms wrapping around my chest.

"What about college?" I reminded her.

She shook her head "I'm staying with you."

I smiled happily until that nagging voice at the back of my mind spoke up.

_Emmett did have a point, she is far too dependent on you._

My eyes rolled in annoyance wanting to be selfish but knowing I'd never forgive myself if I was.

"Mini." I started quietly, my fingers still rhythmically running through her hair "You know how I told you I'd planned on the beach being a night long thing?"

I felt her nod.

"Well there was more I meant to tell you."

She twisted around, her hands palm down on my chest she rested her chin on them and smiled up at me. "More?"

I nodded "I know I was, originally, against us going to separate colleges, but now, I think it will be for the best if we did."

Her face fell and she stared at me with pleading eyes, making it very difficult for me to continue.

"I just think, we both need the opportunity to grow as individuals, like you said."

She was shaking her head now, tears sparkled in her eyes and I wanted to take it all back and give into her, but this was for the best. I think.

"I can't." she whispered.

Pulling her closer to me I wrapped her securely in my arms "Yes you can." I said softly "It's what you always wanted right? Going off to college and making friends and doing your thing. Well I want you to do that. And I'll go and try to do the same."

"Why are you doing this?" she sobbed "Don't you want to be with me? Is this pay back for breaking up with you?"

"No, no, no." I said quickly taking her face between my hands I forced her to look at me "No, that's not what this is. Mini, of course I want to be with you, I love you."

This was not going well, she was taking it worse than I'd anticipated.

"Hey look at me." her eyes hesitantly met mine "All I want is what's best for you, Alice you deserve a full life, you deserve the chance to be yourself and go into the world and show everyone just how amazing you are." I kissed her forehead "I need to know I haven't held you back and that you've done what you wanted with your life."

"I wanna be with you." she mumbled, and I smiled as I remembered saying those exact words to her the last time we'd had this conversation.

"And you will be." I insisted "I'll be right at the end of the phone whenever you need me Mini, I promise."

She shuffled a little "What if you find someone else?" she whispered, I only just caught it.

"Never happen." I assured smiling at her "You're all I ever want and need. I should be the one worrying about that."

She gave me a little smile and shook her head "It's always been you Jazz." she whispered, her cheeks staining pink.

Now she'd calmed down I decided to press on with the rest.

"There is another important reason we should go to different colleges, you see because we'll be apart for three or four years the day we both finish I'm gonna whisk you away somewhere ridiculously romantic like….Paris. Lets say Paris, that's supposed to be romantic right?"

She giggled softly.

"So, we've both finished college and I whisk you off to Paris for a week." I continued my story, I'd actually been considering for quite a while "One night I'll take you for a nice meal and later, with all the stars shining, I take you somewhere quiet and get down on one knee."

I felt her body tense in my arms, but it wasn't in a bad way.

"Then I ask, or more specifically beg, for you to let me spend the rest of my life making you happy. With a nice big diamond ring, I'll have spent the last four years saving up for." I rested my cheek against her hair "Now that wont work as well if we're spending all our time together."

Her head came up slowly and her eyes met mine "You really plan on doing that?" she whispered.

I nodded slowly "The only reason I wont be doing that sooner is because I'm not mature enough yet, and my mum would probably have a stroke, and everyone would assume it's because you're pregnant." she smiled happily throwing her arms around my neck, her lips crashing to mine.

We broke apart gasping for air.

"Does that mean you like the plan?" I teased, secretly thrilled she wasn't terrified at the thought of me proposing.

Her eyes sparkled with joy "Well I still don't particularly like the idea of being away from you." she pouted before grinning at me "But I guess the ending could make it worth while."

"That's a relief." I admitted, my hands trailing over her.

"Come on Jazz, I'm sure you can guess what my answer will be. You know, when you ask me properly."

I frowned "You mean I actually have to do all that? I kind of hoped the scenario would be enough."

She giggled clearly knowing I was teasing her and leant in to kiss me.

Conversation died for a time as our desire overtook us again. When we'd finally calmed down I held Alice tight in my arms. Her back pressed against my chest, her hands resting on mine.

"I love you Jazz. Forever." she said softly causing a massive smile to break across my face.

"I love you too." I grinned "Mrs. Whitlock."

"Hey. Not yet." she giggled.

"Just trying it out." I defended.

"It does sound good." she murmured softly "Alice Whitlock." she giggled.

It did sound good, the entire concept sounded good. Alice as my wife, Alice with me forever.

I shook my head a little, one year ago I would have been horrified at the thought of settling down. I had just been an angry kid who's life had been broken apart, with no idea where I was going in my life.

And now, barley twelve months later, I had everything I never knew I needed. It would have been a little scary had it not been so wonderful.

I had found a purpose, I had found something to work for, I had found something to make me a better person, I had found everything I had never known I was missing and she was here, curled up in my arms completing me.

* * *

**Ok if the soppy ending didn't tip you off, this is the last chapter.**

**I know many of you will want more, but the truth is I have no idea where to take it from here. I don't want them to have anymore troubles. This is their happy ending.**

**There will be an epilogue but there will not be a sequel. I may do some outtakes if you so wish but this is the end of the main story.**

**Please review, like I said at the start, this is my first chaptered fic, so any advice on how to improve is welcome. (Other than grammar and spelling because I am well aware how bad I am at that!) xx**


	36. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Twilight that privilege belongs to Stephanie Meyer I'm just having fun messing with her characters.**

**I know this took a while to get out and I do apologise for that, I knew what I wanted to happen but couldn't quite get it to work right. Anyway, after several days of editing and swearing at my computer I have decided to just upload what I've written, because if I read through it once more I'm going to go insane!**

**I hope you enjoy. xx**

* * *

**Epilogue: All's well that ends better.**

Jasper's pov

I took a deep calming breath as I stood at the front of the church. The minister gave me a small smile which I tried to return.

Music started up and my eyes snapped to the door, locking onto Alice as she emerged taking slow measured steps down the aisle, our eyes met and she beamed at me, her gorgeous green eyes sparkled with joy.

I couldn't hold in my own smile as my eyes appraised her. She looked absolutely stunning. As usual.

Carlisle shifted nervously on my left and I patted his shoulder encouragingly.

"It's easy. Trust me." I grinned at him. He nodded stiffly.

My eyes found Alice again remembering the time she'd been walking towards me in a similar setting, wearing white.

Now here she was in a gorgeous deep red dress as bridesmaid for my mum. Whilst I, once again, was best man at one of my parents weddings. This one would hopefully go a little smoother though.

Carlisle took a sharp intake of breath and my eyes left Alice for a second to see my mum step onto the aisle, wearing a knee length, simple ivory dress.

She looked beautiful, of course, but in my eyes she was overshadowed by Alice, not that I'd be telling her that, it was her wedding after all.

My eyes went back to my wife. My wife. Even after three years I couldn't get used to that.

As I'd promised, her last day of college I'd swept her away on a romantic holiday. I had only been able to afford to go as far as New York for two nights, not quite a week in Paris, but Alice hadn't minded and I'd tried to make it special as I'd proposed.

I'd barely got the 'will you marry me?' out before Alice had launched herself at me screaming 'yes' over and over.

Much like mum and Carlisle it had been a small simple affair with family and close friends.

At Alice's request I had sent an invite to my dad, but hadn't had any reply. I hadn't been all that bothered, but I knew Alice felt bad for me.

My eyes were still on her as the ceremony started, remembering the way she'd looked walking towards me on Emmett's arm, wearing white.

Emmett had been strangely accepting of our engagement, I'm not too proud to admit I had been terrified when we'd told him. But, he had simply stared at Alice's beaming face for a few seconds then turned to nod at me, before a cheeky grin had crossed his face and he had wandered off muttering about bachelor parties and strippers.

I was focused on the ceremony just enough to know what was going on, but most of my thoughts still revolved around Alice.

Of course thinking about our wedding got me to thinking about our wedding night, I smirked a little as my mind went to my plans for tonight as well.

What can I say? Just because I'm no longer a teenager doesn't mean I don't still have a one track mind, especially when Alice looked like she did.

I smiled happily clapping loudly with everyone as my mum and Carlisle were pronounced husband and wife.

Mums smile could not have been wider as she flung herself forward to kiss him before he got chance to make a move, causing a round of laughter and a loud wolf whistle from Garret.

My mum broke away her cheeks flushing, obviously having forgotten she was still in public. Carlisle just looked slightly dazed.

I offered Alice my arm and we followed the newlyweds back down the aisle.

"You look beautiful." I murmured softly to her.

I smiled fondly as she did her traditional squirm of embarrassment "Thanks Jazz."

Leaning in I pressed my lips to the top of her head. She was still my Mini.

And always would be, I thought with a smile.

Everything ran smoothly and I was thoroughly enjoying myself at the reception.

"You'd better look after her." I mock glared at Carlisle.

My mum rolled her eyes at me and Alice just giggled.

"Don't worry I will." Carlisle assured, his arm wrapped around her waist, the way it had been pretty much since the wedding and I smiled, he was a good man, and I knew my mum was lucky to have him.

I took a glass of champagne I was offered frowning slightly when Alice refused. She caught my look and smiled.

"You know how much of a lightweight I am, I'm just pacing myself."

We danced a little but I spent most of the reception propping up the bar with Emmett whilst Alice helped a heavily pregnant Rosalie try to wear out her and Emmett's two year old son.

"You know you should be helping." I commented lightly to Emmett. Although I wasn't to insistent as my conscience pointed out I to should probably be lending a hand.

"Well Rose gave me permission to have a drink and enjoy myself, and I don't really want the little man to see me drunk so…" he trailed off smiling.

I rolled my eyes "Nice excuse Emmett."

He looked at me raising an eyebrow "Hey I work with what I'm given."

We stayed by the bar steadily working our way through several glasses of champagne and a couple of shots of something stronger. Until my head was nicely fuzzy.

Emmett was gazing at the dance floor where Alice was dancing with her nephew, he smiled softly and turned to find my eyes on the same scene.

"You know I really did hate you at one point."

I looked back at him "Thanks Emmett."

He chuckled "Yeah, I know. I'm kind of glad you never hurt Alice cause you're a pretty decent guy and it would have been a shame to have to kill you!"

I chuckled "Yeah that would have sucked!"

He laughed with me giving his glass a pout as though blaming it for being empty.

My eyes caught movement "Busted!" I mumbled as I saw an angry Alice making her way towards us.

"Emmett your son is asleep and Rosalie would like to get him home." she said as she came to stand by the bar.

I kept my mouth shut knowing better to talk back to Alice when she was in this mood.

Also, by this point, I had a little too much champagne in my system and all I cared about was getting Alice up to our hotel room and getting her out of that dress and that wouldn't be happening if she was mad at me.

I just leant back against the bar smirking, my eyes ran up and down her body where she stood with her hands on her hips as she chewed out Emmett.

God she was sexy when she was angry!

Emmett turned and headed over to Rosalie with his shoulders slumped a comical look of defeat on his face.

She turned to glare at me and had I been sober I probably would have cowered a little.

"I don't know what your looking so pleased about." she growled "Getting yourself in this state."

I just smirked more stepping forward so our bodies were touching "I'm not that drunk Mini." I mumbled huskily leaning in to kiss her nose. "See!"

Alice just rolled my eyes "It's your nose you're meant to touch." she reminded me, her voice was losing it's angry edge as I slid a hand to her hip.

"Now why would I want to do that?" I murmured running my lips up to her ear.

She shivered delicately against me.

"If you want me to prove I'm not drunk, I could always try to find other body parts." I whispered. I could feel her heart rate increase where our bodies touched.

"Jasper I needed to talk to you." she whined a little as my fingers began to gently massage her sides.

My lips trailed over her neck "We can talk in the morning." I murmured.

"But this is important." she insisted.

"Ok." Taking hold of her hand I gently led her up to our room. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked placing kisses over her neck and shoulders.

"You're not paying attention." she accused making me smirk.

"Of course I'm paying attention darlin'" I teased nibbling gently on her collar bone making her whimper "See you liked that!"

"Not what I meant." she panted out, still trying to fight against me.

In response I gently moved us so she was lying on the bed beneath me and quickly removed her dress.

"Jasper there is something I have to tell you." her voice was weak and I knew she was giving in because her fingers tangled in my hair pulling me closer to her.

"There's something I have to tell you too." I chuckled, trailing my mouth over her body, worshipping her "You are fucking beautiful." I mumbled against her stomach.

"Jasper!" she reprimanded loudly making me bolt upright in shock. Guess she hadn't surrendered completely.

Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she mock glared at me.

"Language!"

I shook my head leaning back in to kiss her stomach "What? You are fucking beautiful."

"Jazz, you really need to stop swearing, you don't know what sensitive ears may pick up." she said trying to be stern but she was fighting her laughter, probably at the confused look on my face.

"What are you talking about?" I asked wondering what I was missing.

She bit her lip "Well you don't want the baby picking up bad habits."

I rolled my eyes "You worry too much." I growled leaning in to nuzzle her neck.

Alice sighed softly and her words suddenly hit home making me bolt upright again.

"Wait, what?"

Alice giggled as my head whipped from her face to her abdomen several times.

"Are you?…..You're…." my brain was refusing to function.

Alice took my face between her hands and pressed a soft kiss to my lips "I have something important to tell you." she grinned as she repeated her earlier words "You're going to be a daddy." she whispered.

My mouth dropped open. The first thing that hit was the disbelief, I mean this wasn't planned, we'd only been married for three years. That was immediately chased out by the crippling fear, how the fuck was I supposed to take care of a baby? I couldn't even look after myself!

All the negativity faded into nothing as I met Alice's eyes, the fact she was carrying my child overwhelmed everything and a massive smile broke over my face.

My head dropped to her stomach kissing all over it.

"Oh wow." was all I could say. Alice giggled, her fingers playing with my hair "I'm going to be a daddy. Fuck! I mean shit, no shit sorry."

God this no swearing thing was going to be hard!

Alice laughed softly pulling me back up so I was lying beside her.

"How long have you known?" I asked realising she can't have just found out today.

She bit her lip a little guiltily "Well I went to the doctors a couple of days ago, but I knew before that."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked running my fingers through her hair, I wasn't angry just curious.

She shrugged avoiding my eye "I didn't want to overshadow Esme and Carlisle. I'm sorry." she added.

I kissed her forehead smiling, typical Alice. "That's ok. I just, can't believe it."

She smiled up at me, her teeth still worrying her bottom lip "I didn't mean to just thrust it on you like that, but I couldn't keep it in anymore." she rolled her eyes "And I was trying to tell you but you weren't listening to me."

I chuckled, still having a little trouble wrapping my head around this, but I couldn't stop smiling.

My arms wrapped around Alice's waist pulling her close and I crushed my lips to hers, she responded greedily.

"You're carrying my baby." I mumbled my lips breaking from hers to shower kisses all over her.

Alice just giggled, I raised my head to look into her eyes they were shining with so much happiness.

I honestly never thought I could love Alice more than I did, but in that moment my heart swelled with so much love for her I couldn't contain it. My lips met hers again.

"Little baby had better close their eyes and ears." I mumbled "Because I have to make love to your mummy right now."

Life was never going to get better than this!

* * *

Alice's pov

I awoke suddenly, my hand shot to my right trying to find Jasper and a slight sense of panic descended when I couldn't.

Taking a deep breath I sat up to look around the room, calming down when I saw him hunched over the small table in the room. I reached down to grab his dress shirt and pull it on, before making my way over to him.

I felt kind of bad for how I'd told him about the baby, I hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that.

I had wanted to tell him tonight, I couldn't keep it in any longer, but thanks to him distracting me it hadn't gone quite to plan.

He had seemed happy and excited about it, but I knew Jasper too well, and now it had sunk in he was going into panic mode.

I started as I stepped on something and looked around.

Several scrunched up balls of paper were overflowing the small trash can and dotted around the table. Bending down I carefully picked up the one I'd stepped on and smoothed it out to read what he'd written.

_Dad, _

_I know you ignored the wedding invite I sent and I'm pretty sure you'll ignore this but I thought you should know you're going to be a grandfather_

That was the point he'd given up on that particular letter.

Again my eyes took in the amount of attempts he'd made and my heart went out to him.

"Jazz?" I called softly.

He sat up a little and I moved closer wrapping my arms around his neck from behind.

His forehead held deep lines of concern from whatever was on his mind and one of his hands came up to absentmindedly stroke my arm but he didn't say anything.

I placed soft kisses down the side of his head.

"What's going on in there?" I asked quietly.

He sighed heavily, I didn't think he was going to answer me but suddenly he spoke up.

"I don't know how to be a father." his voice was soft "I mean I didn't exactly have the best role model. What if I fuck this up somehow?"

Sighing softly I moved around so I could perch on his lap, my arms still around his neck.

"Jasper do you love me?" I asked.

He gave me a look that clearly said 'duh!' "Of course I do."

Taking one of his hands I placed it palm down on my abdomen. "Do you love our baby?"

His eyes were on his hand and he smiled softly "Yes."

Leaning in I kissed his cheek "Well that's all you need. The rest we can figure out as we go."

If anything that made his frown lines more pronounced. I chewed my lip for a bit "Do you think I'm not scared about this?" I looked up to meet his eyes "I'm terrified Jasper, but I know we'll be ok. I have you, and we have Emmett and Rose, and Esme and Carlisle. We're gonna be fine."

I needed to reassure him, because I knew if there was one thing Jasper Whitlock could do it was worry, especially about me.

He winced slightly "You think Emmett's going to take the news I impregnated his sister well?"

I wrinkled my nose "Well if you tell him you 'impregnated' me he may not like that, but if we phrased it a little differently." I shrugged "He'll be fine Jazz, he knew we were planning it at some point."

Jasper sighed heavily leaning in to rest his head against mine. I had a sneaking suspicion what his next concern would be.

"What are you going to do about work?"

Yep there it is!

I had finally found my calling as a therapist working with children who had suffered trauma. It was hard, demanding work and I knew Jasper didn't like me doing it at the best of times because I often came home in tears both physically and emotionally drained. But I loved it, it made me feel useful, like I was making a difference, and because of that he'd never ask me to quit. Until now maybe.

"I'll tell them on Monday, they probably wont give me any new cases and we can start weaning my regulars onto other people." I frowned worrying about that, abandonment was a big issue with a lot of my kids, would they think that's what I was doing to them? "It will be a long process, but I have seven months before I'll start maturity leave." I mused.

"Ok." Jasper sighed knowing that was the best I could give him "No unnecessary stress though. Please." he begged a little.

There's my worrier. I smiled stretching up to kiss him. I really loved that he was so protective of me "I promise Jazz, I will take care of myself and our baby."

"Speaking of which, shouldn't you try and get some more sleep?" he asked.

I looked down "You know I can't sleep in a new bed if you're not there." I mumbled. I had a hard enough time of it at home.

"Very well." he chuckled lifting me up in his arms and carrying me back to the bed.

I snuggled up close to him, one of his arms wrapped around me keeping me close.

"Now sleep." he demanded making me giggle.

I placed a kiss on his chest like I always did. "I love you Jasper Whitlock." I murmured.

"I love you too Alice Whitlock." he chuckled "Now sleep."

I smiled closing my eyes. Jasper's free hand slid to my abdomen again making my smile bigger.

Me and Jasper were entering the next stage of our life together.

Together, that was the important thing. I knew we could handle anything as long as we were together.

I pressed closer to him. He was humming softly and the vibration through his body soothed me sending me slowly to sleep.

Sleepily my hand went to rest on Jasper's above where our baby grew.

Together we were stronger, we could face anything, together we were complete.

* * *

**So that's it. I am still planning on outtakes but they will be written under the title -We just wanna be whole.**

**What scenes I write is going to be 100% what I am asked for from you guys, so PM me or leave a review with requests. It's my little thank you to everyone who has supported this story. I love you all. xx **


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